Not today Justin

Janaina Medeiros

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@everydaycloud
such a shame such a shame
“I still don’t know much about you. I can’t figure you out and I find that fascinating.”
I’m sorry but I’m not your manic pixie dream girl. Underneath all the mystery is just another fucked up person who wants nothing but attention and acceptance.
ah. i wrote this on the wrong blog. hah
may naalala akong bago.
nangyari siya nung umuwi kang malungkot at pagod. umupo ka sa may gilid ng kama at sumenyas sa akin na umupo ako sa ‘yo.
niyakap mo ako at sinabi lahat ng bumabagabag sa iyong isip. pagkatapos nun ay huminga ka ng malalim, tinignan ako sa mga mata at tinanong, “bakit ang bait mo sa akin?”
napatitig na lang ako sa ‘yo ng ilang segundo habang naghahanap ng mga tamang salita para sa sasabihin ko.
sa paglalim ng aking titig ay lumalim din ang aking nararamdaman.
niyakap kita ulit. pero ngayon ay mas mahigpit.
“kasi mahal kita.”
(based on a dream I had, once.)
It just doesn't feel right. The feeling I'm getting, it's getting worse. The fear of being replaced I've always thought of it. I never knew it would hurt so much. I was fine before I met you but I ...
funny how i find this still relevant, almost a year later, in my life.
“ask me anything.”
“i don’t want to.”
“why? don’t you have an inquisitive mind?”
“i don’t like bringing people to my place.”
“why?”
“i don’t like the hassle. the less people know about me, the better.”
Sana alam mo kung gaano kaganda yung ilaw sa mukha mo kaninang alas kwatro ng umaga.
Ilang beses pa ba kita kailangang makita sa aking panaginip bago ka mawala ng tuluyan?
I opened my google account and saw our chat box again today. It says that you saw the conversation 3 months ago. I wonder if you read the entire thing like I did today. We were so in love, D. We were in too deep that we had to use google’s chat thing because your office banned facebook.
I couldn’t help but laugh a little while reading it. It feels surreal, you know. How we used to talk about anything and everything. I didn’t feel hurt while reading it (and to that, I’d like to pat myself on the back). I just feel sad that someone who used to be a part of my life is now back to being a stranger.
andito nanaman ako sa sakayan ng jeep. nakapila para sa klase ko na magsisimula na sa loob ng sampung minuto. dati, tuwing martes at huwebes, kasama kita dito sa pila. anim na buwan din yun. labing-apat na araw na lagi kitang ginigising para makapasok tayo sa klase. dati, wala akong pake kung anong oras na dahil kasama kita. ngayon, mag-isa na lang ako. di ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ko.
I remember when the clock struck 12, you hugged me tight and whispered "Happy birthday, love."
You gave the sweetest and softest kiss. Everything felt right and I couldn't wait to celebrate my next birthdays with you.
Right now, I don't know if we'll be okay. They told me to move on. But how can I move on when I've done a lot of things for the first time with you?
I still love you.
Very much.
“I’m seeing someone else.”
“I know.”
“Then why didn’t you break up with me?”
“Because I was hoping that I was wrong.”
I hope this isn’t us talking in the future. It’s been playing over and over in my mind lately.
The Feeling - Justin Bieber ft. Halsey