An Escape @everydayisabattle - Tumblr Blog

iamsuperezzie

veryunlikely

21.04.2017 // 11:15pm

theflowercode

20:59 | 11.05 | saturday, evening tasks! - ✨✨📝

goals for today:

insert info. about risk min. act. in log [assignment #1];

insert info. about treatment benefits and adverse reactions in log [assign. #1];

do some research about handwriting analysis and practice;

finish origin by dan brown and read at least 10 pages of your next book.;

send an e-mail to professor immun. to inquire after date for review lect.;

update payments sheets for lab. costs of both classes;

language-related goals:

russian: continue practicing the cyrillic alphabet;

spanish: finish summarizing feminine nouns in onenote;

spanish: study and do practice tests on both masculine nouns and feminine nouns + memorize all the words involved in said chapter;

spanish: summarize chapter “descriptive adjectives”;

📖 // origin - dan brown [p. 470/542]

Trying to heal

I hate going out, each time I go out and go back home, the minute I see everybody leaving with their loved ones crushes me. I was so looking forward into finally moving out. Finally having a life partner and living as an independent adult. We did the apartment, we dreamed and dreamed about living together and sharing every aspect of life with one another. But no, it have all gone to waste. I don’t blame him. He is obviously suffering from some sort of mental illness. But what I hate about it is the fact that he didn’t realize it sooner, he didn’t deal with it sooner. He kept admitting the problem but not really facing it. Which now reflected on me. Now he left and broke my heart. He tried so hard to fix it, but I couldn’t do it to myself. I wouldn’t forgive myself if I ever let him hurt me again when I know he will, maybe unintentionally. But he will, because he did it multiple times and I couldn’t trust that he wouldn’t do it again.

He messed me up so hard, but I know that time heals, and I know that I will move on eventually. I just need more time to reflect on myself, and go back to my old-self. It’s gonna be a long journey but I’m sure I’ll complete it with a better version of myself.

I can’t wait to look back at this next year and see how far I have come.

#healing

I feel sad, I feel sad, I feel sad all of the time. It’s like sadness has became my default mood.

how come people suffer? how come people part? how come people struggle? how come people break your heart? break your heart.. yes I want to grow yes, I want to feel. yes I want to know show me how to heal it up.. heal it up.