End Of A Century

Hello I'm Amy and I'm here writing about every UK number one of the 1990s and 2000s.

[everynumberone]

‘Killing In The Name’ - Rage Against The Machine

Number one week ending 26th December 2009 for 1 week

In what feels like pure poetry for the end of the first decade of the 21st century, two of the most dominant developments of the previous 10 years, social media and reality TV, unite to create this remarkable number one. Originally a protest song released in 1993 that reached a lowly 25 in the charts by an American heavy rock band, it was chosen by a Facebook group as the song to break the monopoly of X Factor over the Christmas Number one slot, which it had held without contest for five years in a row. The Facebook group went viral, the campaign gained support from celebrities keen to get one up against Simon Cowell and his boring cover ballad factory (this year it was Joe McElderry’s cover of slushy Miley Cyrus song ‘The Climb’) and over 500,000 copies of ‘Killing In The Name’ were sold, with proceeds going to charity. Choosing this song was a bold choice, but an obvious one; it’s all about protesting against authority (specifically police brutality and racism, maybe not obvious to the casual listener) that controls you with the chant ‘Now you’re under control/Now you do what they told you’, just like being kept under the thumb by X Factor music drivel. Its most memorable line is ‘fuck you I won’t do what you tell me!’ over thundering, headbanging guitar riffs heavier than anything that’s been in the chart for years - it’s pretty much the opposite of an X Factor winner’s single, hence the appeal. No worries for the reality TV machine though; Joe got his number one the following week, and normality was resumed into the 2010s.

[everynumberone]

‘Bad Romance’ - Lady Gaga

Number one week ending 19th December 2009 for 1 week

Although ‘Poker Face’ established the Gaga aesthetic, it was ‘Bad Romance’ that would fully launch her to well-deserved superstardom. Like pop music on steroids, ‘Bad Romance’ is loud, dramatic, ridiculous, outrageous, and above all, amazing. Theatrical to the extreme, it builds up magnificently, layer upon layer; you’ve got the egocentric, nonsensical ‘Ra ra ah ah ah/Roma rom la la/Gaga ooh la la‘ riff, the imperative ‘You know that I want you, you know that I need you...’ bridge, the menacing middle eight of her desperately yelling ‘I don’t wanna be friends’ on repeat, the thundering chorus call of ‘I want your love and I want your revenge/You and me could write a bad romance’ that sounds straight out of a musical. It’s like she has taken the electropop genre to a more epic and extreme level yet still maintaining the pop sensibility married to the unsettling, arty nature of her whole lyrics and look. Add in the bizarre, unsettling video with creepy big-eyed Gaga and even bigger heels and it somehow works perfectly. I can’t believe this was released nearly 10 years ago - it still feels as fresh today as it did then and is definitely one of the best pop songs of the decade, right at the very end of it.

[everynumberone]

‘The BBC Children In Need Medley’ - Peter Kay’s Animated All Star Band

Number one week ending 9th December 2009 for 2 weeks

A claymation version of comedian Peter Kay leads a group of cartoon characters, young and old, in a medley of chart hits, from ‘Don’t Stop’ by Fleetwood Mac to ‘Jai Ho’ by the Pussycat Dolls. Only a charity novelty single could create such a bizarre thing, and indeed this was for Children In Need. There’s pretty much any kid’s TV character you can think of here; Scooby Doo, Paddington, The Wombles, Thunderbirds, my childhood favourites Sooty and Sweep and newer characters like Peppa Pig. It’s definitely a bit...bizarre seeing these clay characters dancing to 90s drinking anthem ‘Tubthumping’, and I have no idea how these songs were chosen, as they’re very diverse, for want of a better word. But it’s all very cute and sweet, and a good exercise in entertainment for children and nostalgia for adults.

[everynumberone]

‘You Are Not Alone’ - The X Factor Finalists 2009

Number one week ending 28th November 2009 for 1 week 

This was the 2009 version of the now-traditional X Factor charity single,a cover of the 1995 Michael Jackson original, which also reached the top spot. Unsurprisingly, this is pretty much paint-by-numbers X Factor - a slushy ballad cover, anguished singing, emotional video, dramatic key change. The chosen cause this year was Great Ormond Street Hospital, a hospital for very sick children in London, so it was very worthy. The most interesting thing now is watching the video back and spotting who is still vaguely famous - Jedward, Stacey Solomon, Olly Murs!

[everynumberone]

‘Meet Me Halfway’ - Black Eyed Peas

Number one week ending 21st November 2009 for 1 week 

In a year where they dominated the charts, the Black Eyed Peas finally hit the jackpot for me, third time lucky. ‘Meet Me Halfway’ is completely different to its predecessors and is all the better for it - its understand, minimalistic production is almost hypnotic, sounding like a lost 80s track. Although the weird vocodered verses from the male members of the group aren’t great, the chorus is brilliant and sounds like it’s sampled from a completely different song; Fergie’s vocal sounding delicate and yearning as she implores ‘Can you meet me halfway/Right at the borderline/That’s where I’m going to wait for you’. Although it never really goes anywhere or kicks up a gear, it’s so easy on the ears after their previous shouty efforts that I don’t mind. 

[everynumberone]

‘Everybody In Love’ - JLS

Number one week ending 14th November 2009 for 1 week 

After the excellent ‘Beat Again’, JLS let the side down with this slushy midtempo track, made for that part of the concert where everybody waves their hands and their phones in the air singing along to the chorus. And it is a very good chorus for this; ‘Everybody in love/Go put your hands up!’. Beyond that, it’s pretty uninspiring, with cliched lyrics about life being impossible when you’re away from a lover, although their harmonies as a group are pretty good and show off their talents, and that’s the best thing about the whole song. They would need to do something more thrilling in the future, or risk falling into cliched boyband territory when they had so much more potential.

[everynumberone]

‘Fight For This Love’ - Cheryl Cole

Number one week ending 31st October 2009 for 2 weeks

The elevation of Cheryl Cole to national treasure status in the late 2000s confused me at the time and still does now. Plucked from Girls Aloud to be an X Factor judge despite not being the strongest singer in the group at all, and married to footballer Ashley Cole, she was in the right position, but she’s always seemed dull and lacking charisma to me. And this shows up in her debut solo single too; was she even having a solo career because she wanted to, or because she had to, to capitalise on her popularity? ‘Fight For This Love’ is a sluggish, mid-tempo song that’s just a bit too understated to make an impact, especially when it exposes Cheryl’s vocals as weak out of the context of a girl band - that ‘love ain’t a walk in the paaarrk’ is just toe-curlingly out of tune and terrible form for the most famous woman in the country! I keep waiting for it to kick in and go up a gear but it never does. The lyrics are interesting, about making an effort in a difficult relationship to make it work, and it’s easy to see why it got so much attention in light of her very public love life, but I can’t help but think it would have been more exciting in the hands of someone else, and with a more amped-up production.

[everynumberone]

‘Bad Boys’ - Alexandra Burke

Number one week ending 24th October 2009 for 1 week 

Winner of X Factor 2008 Alexandra was following the now traditional path of previous winners by disappearing for a year after their limp winner’s single and reemerging with a superlative ‘proper’ debut single, one that wasn’t a cover. ‘Bad Boys’ is slick and very American, well produced and constructed with a ridiculously catchy chorus and a feature from rapper of the moment Flo Rida, inbetween her singing about how she can’t resist bad boys, but not sounding regretful at all as ‘it’s the risk I take for the chemistry’. It could be said that Alexandra’s powerful voice is undersold by fitting it into this good but generic pop song (it’s not hard to imagine Rihanna singing it for one) but overall it’s a strong start, and suits her way more than ‘Hallelujah’ did.

[everynumberone]

‘Oopsy Daisy’ - Chipmunk

Number one week ending 17th October 2009 for 1 week 

After the cocksure ‘Break Your Heart’, ‘Oopsy Daisy’ is another debut number one but one that is softer and more emotional. Looking like he’s barely out of school (and he was), it’s somehow fitting that there’s a bit of twisted nursery rhyme in the song, with the ‘Oopsy daisy I hurt you again/Crushed your heart in the palm of my hand’ in the chorus sung by uncredited vocalist Dyo who takes the blame for a failing relationship as she is a ‘walking disaster’. I don’t know a lot about rap but Chipmunk has a particularly fast style, but it flows so well, and it’s refreshing to have a song by a rapper that is more mellow with less bravado than the usual.

[everynumberone]

‘Break Your Heart’ - Taio Cruz

Number one week ending 26th September 2009 for 3 weeks

Following the year’s trend of Autotune vocals over electropop, ‘Break Your Heart’ is Taio’s first number one. Sung from the perspective of a heartbreaking playboy who doesn’t want to settle down; ‘If you fall for me/I’m not easy to please/I might tear you apart’, the lyric is definitely full of cocky attitude - not that most men need convincing that this is a fun role for them to play. To Taio’s credit he pulls it off, even if I find the meaning behind it pretty grim, although the whole thing betrays little of his actual personality - it could have easily be recorded by any other male urban artist of the time, and be no worse for it.

[everynumberone]

‘Boys and Girls’ - Pixie Lott

Number one week ending 19th September 2009 for 1 week 

Boosted by the popularity of debut number one ‘Mama Do’, Pixie Lott quickly got a second hit with this fun but generic pop track. It also has the brass, retro stylings of her first song but is overall less charming and unique; the lyrics couldn’t get more stale than ‘the boys and the girls they got it going on’ - it’s a song about having a good party that’s been done a million times before, and even the video is similar to ‘Just Dance’ by Lady Gaga. Nonetheless, Pixie is putting 100% into it, and she makes a good job of selling it so it’s enjoyable, even if any other female solo star could do exactly the same. She would need to do something really special to excel after her debut.

[everynumberone]

‘Run This Town’ - Jay-Z, Rihanna, Kanye West

Number one week ending 12th September 2009 for 1 week 

An aggressive, scary song built around a military marching beat, ‘Run This Town’ unites three massively famous and successful artists, so it was clearly going to be big. Taking the main features on the track though, Rihanna and Kanye easily outshine Jay-Z, Rihanna’s dynamic chorus in particular is probably one of the only good things about the track. The rest of it feels pretty flat and heavy, not showing off the talents of the trio well at all. 

[everynumberone]

‘Holiday’ - Dizzee Rascal

Number one week ending 5th September 2009 for 1 week 

Continuing his newfound domination of the mainstream, Dizzee Rascal creates one of the most summery songs ever - it had to be if it was called ‘Holiday’ after all. It matches the lightweight club sound of producer Calvin Harris with a cheerful rap by Dizzee about how great it is to be on holiday somewhere hot and sunny, sounding a bit like a cheesy holiday rep in parts; ‘I know you’re really busy and I know you’ve got plans/But are you really too busy for a suntan?’. For what it’s worth though, I’d be happy to be in his club if it’s this fun.

[everynumberone]

‘Sexy Chick’ - David Guetta and Akon

Number one week ending 29th August 2009 for 1 week 

This is the censored version of the track originally titled ‘Sexy Bitch’ which gives you a clue to the charming lyrical content of this collaboration between rapper Akon and DJ of the moment David Guetta. Revolving around the *hilarious* line ‘I’m trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful’, the whole song is full of similar ‘humour’, such as ‘nothing you can compare to your neighbourhood whore’. The only brief saving grace is the throttling beat, which slows down and speeds up, making the song feel like a thrilling rollercoaster ride. If the lyrics weren’t so gross, it might get the thumbs up!

[everynumberone]

‘Never Leave You’ - Tinchy Stryder and Amelle

Number one week ending 15th August 2009 for 1 week

Another duet from Tinchy following his success with N Dubz, but this one is pulled off with considerably less aplomb. Singing with Amelle from the Sugababes, sticking these two together seems like she’s just a name picked randomly from a hat of current female pop stars, and consequently they have absolutely no chemistry, and it sounds like two different tracks sliced together rather than a true duet. With Amelle singing about how she still loves him despite ‘trading the world for money, stars and power’ and ‘living my life at a hundred miles an hour’, Tinchy chimes in just repeating lines for most of it. The fact that he looks about 15 and she’s clearly in her late 20s doesn’t help - it’s so mismatched that it doesn’t gel at all despite the song not being too bad by itself - this one should have been a solo for one of them instead.

[everynumberone]

‘I Gotta Feeling’ - Black Eyed Peas

Number one week ending 8th and 22nd August 2009 for 2 weeks total 

I know I said ‘Boom Boom Pow’ was one of my most hated songs ever, but ‘I Gotta Feeling’ is right behind it. Overplayed, dull, generic, tuneless, disjointed, boring. It’s just absolute barrel-scraping, by-numbers party pop, I can barely bring myself to listen to it again - I’ve heard it too many times in my life already! Here’s a brilliant article talking about how the excitement and anticipation that ‘tonight’s gonna be a good night’ that apparently makes up the appeal of ‘I Gotta Feeling’ is profoundly depressing. With other vacuous lyrics like ‘Go out and smash it...like oh my god’ put through Autotune and sung with about as much excitement as someone going to war, the fact that this piece of garbage has become the go-to ‘celebration’ soundtrack is criminal. 

[everynumberone]

‘Beat Again’ - JLS

Number one week ending 25th July 2009 for 2 weeks

Within just one song, JLS (’Jack The Lad Swing’ apparently) manage to comfortably become the best group to come out of The X Factor, having been runners up the year before. It’s not a hard category to win (until One Direction come along a year later...) but even so, ‘Beat Again’ really is a great song. While the medically-themed lyrics may verge on laughable (’I need you back in my arms, I need love CPR’), it sounds dynamic, is catchy pop but still credibly edgy, and their voices gel together perfectly, their sheer enthusiasm lifting it above average. There is also some impressive dancing on show in the video - you wouldn’t get Leona Lewis doing this! They definitely filled the gap in the market for an interesting, urban pop boyband, and would reign supreme, even having their own branded condoms, until 1D came along...