gnawing on ur couch

30s - trans fag - no minors

[onlytiktoks]

[venndaai]

have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.

[venndaai]

they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you

[fluorescentbrains]

this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard

just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !

[muffinlance]

Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!

Eye-opening research: Greenland sharks maintain vision for centuries through DNA repair mechanism

Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir

I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks

[evilhelldog666]

atp in my gender journey, 5 yrs on hrt, I'm like sorta back into feeling my agender bug crawl back out. I'd say best way to describe me would be boyflux or something. I feel like mostly I'm a guy and u could call me that at all times and I wouldn't be mad but it's not entirely accurate to how I feel abt or see myself all the time. not sure why I was so adamant for a period of time abt expressing a binaryness to myself but I think it's because I wanna show people that a dude could be anything. n they still can. it is important to my beliefs and sense of self to be able to express this idea via this vessel. it's a powerful and radical choice to me. n I still stand by this and nothing else has changed for me internally about it. I just recognize that I'm more fluid with gender than I am not.

[evilhelldog666]

got bored changed my user

[krtek-daily]

[arisonas]

" Among Us Promise "

I promise you, in full not part

That Among Us Creatures come first in my heart

Whether it be night or day

A game of Among Us, I'd love to play!

Recite this promise if you would drop everything to play a game of "Among Us" - no matter the costs.

[wizardarchetypes]

was trying to board a plane in dublin and i naively put a big giant fossil from the beach in my carry-on bc my checked luggage was so close to being overweight. the security person pulled my bag aside to search and they held it up to their coworker and said, "are you kidding me? who brings something like this?" so I said, "sorry, that's mine" and they looked embarrassed bc they didn't realize I was standing right there hahaha. they got more mild and said, "sorry, but you can't bring big rocks on airplanes. because you could, you know" (here they mimed bashing someone's head in with the rock) "bash someone's head in."

and i said "yeah well i definitely don't want to bash anyone's head in. but i understand." and then another passenger having their bag searched beside me was laughing like "did that even occur to you? bashing someone's head in?" and i was like i think we're all saying "bashing someone's head in" a lot right now. and getting really evocative about it for some reason.

[stupidestasshole]

Please stop using bugs to control reality

you are evil because you are weak

[bahari-official]

i wish drawing was a real thing that you could actually do

[rottencore]

This post keeps making me cry laughingg

[fryeshiverbigman-deactivated202]

hmm... *gets in evil bed and holds my evil stuffed animal* evil night.. *turns off my fucked up evil lamp*

[evilhelldog666]

gruh. I'm sadly beginning to realize that the only way to become sharper at recognizing the AI posts is to freaking use the AI urself to learn how it speaks. wtf is this hellshit rn

[evilhelldog666]

oh well man at least theres dumb romcoms. lmfao

[slimchocolatebeautyy]

learning how to leave people alone and go on with your life is very important

[wotsukai]

[rathayibacter]

you spill dr pepper on the concrete and a single perfect rose pushes up out of a crack

[omtai]

the shit you do to make a dying phone work when you dont wanna buy a new phone is amazing. my phone no longer charges unless i plug and unplug the charger exactly ten times & then flip the charger around then it works. I dont want to say i have to fuck the port a little bit first but i have to fuck the port a little bit first