Louisa's Year of Self-Love & Healing

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9 Jan 22 - Listen to My Intuition and being Flexible

Coach: Good morning Louisa, what would you like to focus on today?

Client: Good morning Coach, I would like to overcome my social anxiety with regards to coaching practice.

Coach: Please share with me more.

Client: I made a plan to start slow and practice on my coaching skills, so going for zoom sessions and learn something from there. As of now, I usually try to meditate, to get my mental state ready for coaching, When I first enter the zoom session, everyone seemed to know each other. I feel like an outsider, not having the camaraderie that people have. I know that, I should come as I am, regardless, it is okay to make mistakes, it is a safe space, I need to get rid of the fear of making mistakes, and the feeling of not being good enough. It is like, I feel the feelings of being intimidated, and not enough. It's like I feel many of us have a lot of experience in life, as coaches, in work experience, in life experiences, and what I can share or offer doesn't seem adequate. I feel panicky when I do not know what to say.

Coach: What I am hearing from you, is you have feel like an outsider, and you would like to get rid of your fear of making mistakes and not being good enough, and the feeling of being intimidated, especially to people who you deem as having more work and life experience than you. Am I hearing you correctly?

Client: Yes you are.

Coach: What would you like to achieve at the end of today's session?

Client: I would like to

Haha okay I'm gonna stop here. I realised I have been giving myself alot of pressure by doing a full fledged coaching session for myself, before an actual coaching practice itself. I'm going to ask myself this question to help me prep for the coaching practice:

What do you need right now, Louisa?

I need to feel calm. And remember, I got this. Once you feel the panic creeps in, pause. Request to have a moment to recollect your thoughts. Be calm. And be present. Listen to your friend, and not for something. Your friend is here to share their thoughts and is open to you helping them. It is a safe space. They are learning from you as well. Mistakes make you human. It's totally okay. It doesn't make you less of a person or a coach. You are learning, you are a work in progress. You are whole as you are. It's okay to be nervous. Take nice and slow breaths. You got this.

I noticed after doing a meditation, my breathwork is better, calmer, more calm than I was when I started. I'm still a little jittery though. I think I'd focus on my breathwork a little more, and be ready for coaching.

[oneramblingblonde-deactivated20]

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Arild, Sweden

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20 June - Moving Day Reflections

One of the first few thoughts when I entered my house - I heaved a huge sigh of relief; I have no idea I was perpetually bracing myself, preparing myself for whatever I need to handle from my parents or from the world, for the matter. The consideration for them, the making peace with how they are, etc, being ready to handle whatever is to come.

This sensation was so physical. I felt my knees buckling under the suppressed weight of tension. I gasped frantically for breath.

I felt an ache for myself, acutely in my chest. I have been through so much.

I felt my tense muscles loosen. I've been holding in so much.

It seems like I never truly rested. Sorry Lou, for having to go through this. You have been through, a lot.

Thank you, daddy God. For gifting me this place. Please hold me close, and let me feel your presence embrace me tightly.

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13 Mar 26 - Flow

I wrestle with uncertainty. Don't most of us do? I wanted to know with precision what is going to happen with the interior design, but yet what I want is within the depths of me that I am still trying to figure out. How would I know, right? I have never owned a house before. But if I were to enter into the flow state, and embrace the unknown, that is where the fun begins. Lord, remind me to flow with you and my flow state, and be certain in the midst of all the uncertainty that, You will carry me through. That my needs will be provided by you. Amen.

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I used to find a phone with no or few messages very distressing. Now I find it to be peaceful. Less pain. I go undisturbed.

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“You can’t change how people feel about you - so don’t try. Just live your life, and be happy.”

— Lessons Learned in Life

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31 Dec 25

Pause. Be Thankful. Be Hopeful.

Tough is an understatement to describe this year. Each time I go through a searingly painful event, I feel like dying, wishing the pain I feel would disappear and stop tormenting me. But God is just there, cradling me, watching over me, being with me as I heal and recover from the sexual assault saga. Every time I thought this was the most pain I have ever felt in my life, a new event proved me wrong.

The outcome of the police investigation. Confusion, bewilderment.

The healing process - EMDR, healing ministry sessions, counselling. Excruciating pain, all sorts of darker emotions.

The identification of core memories that led to traumatic events.

The performance appraisal and feedback from peers. Knowing that I'm undeniably human, who makes mistakes even when trying so hard not to.

The realisation that my parents and I love each other, despite all the things we did and said that hurt one another.

However, I am thankful for God being present in my life at every point, and for bringing me what and who I need. Thankful for His Grace that carried me through this year.

The Alpha group members.

The Restore to Wholeness facilitators, Josaline and Cheryl.

The Grace Group members, especially Diana and Sarah.

The AWARE people, Farah, Hui Yi & Steph.

The counsellors, Cindy, Wei Qi, Suzanna, and Menaka.

Brought this far by God's grace and mercy, I enter 2026 with

anticipation for deeper learning, new beginnings, and a deeper relationship with God. May I fix my eyes on Him, surrender and trust everything I have to Him and let Him lead the way.

Holy Spirit, you lead. Thank you for your teaching and guidance. Lord, as you go before me, help me have total peace knowing that Your purpose for my life will materialise, even when I can't see the entire plan. Thank you for going before me. With that, I am assured that I am protected by You. Amen.

[dailyeffectiveprayer]

DONT SKIP THIS PRAYER: Dear God, I’m placing 2026 in your hands. Lead the way. Amen.

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Prayer when Feeling Unappreciated.

Heavenly Father,

I come before You with a heavy heart, feeling discouraged and unappreciated despite my best efforts. Lord, You see the sincerity and dedication with which I have given my all, and You understand the pain of feeling worthless and unseen. Lift my spirit, O Lord, and renew my sense of purpose.

Help me, Father, to find my worth in You alone. Remind me that my value is not defined by the recognition of others, but by Your unconditional love and grace. Strengthen my faith to trust in Your plan for me, even when I cannot see the reasons behind the challenges I face.

Grant me resilience, Lord, to persevere through feelings of inadequacy and disappointment. Teach me to lean on Your promises and to find comfort in Your presence. May Your peace, which surpasses all understanding, guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

Thank You, Lord, for Your faithfulness and for the opportunities to serve You with my talents and abilities. Help me to continue giving my best, not for the approval of others, but as an offering of worship to You. May Your name be glorified in all that I do.

In Lord's' name, I pray. Amen.

[velvetcloak]

mirror palais

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oooh this is so beautiful! it's been awhile since i saw a dress this beautiful.

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What fears do you need to surrender as you enter a new season?

I would think it is about my job and career. I fear, any day losing my job, in just a matter of time. The fear of the delay of my dream if I lose my job. I need to remember God is in control. He goes before me. Amen.

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Where do you see His provision in the small, ordinary moments?

I see His provision in the people I meet or the things I do. Like, for instance, the home reno class that I attended yesterday. I did learnt a bit of reno knowledge that came in helpful during the house viewing today. I'm also thankful for Billy, so far he seems very helpful and on my side. So far. At least he lets me see the house thoroughly and walk around the neighbourhood with me. So thankful. I don't know where these leads, but, based on Jer 29:11, God has a future for me, so, it should be good. Praise Jesus.

#autumnjournalpromptchrist

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What do you sense God inviting you to surrender this fall?

I sense God is asking me to surrender to him my work, my ministry. I frankly have no idea which direction to head to. Or if coaching is the direction He wants me to go to. Been applying for jobs and, nothing has come out of it yet. I definitely, don't think instructional design is the thing for me. I die on the inside daily, using a lot of energy to do my job scope well, based on my position.

So, surrendering to Him my career/purpose. Waiting on Him to guide me and tell me where to gooooo.

#autumnjournalpromptchrist

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How can you slow down to savor God's goodness amid the busyness of the holidays?

The holidays are going to be a busy period, for sure. Preparing for and being present at evangelistic events, preparing presents for loved ones and friends, and preparing food for Christmas events.

To slow down and savour God's goodness, I want to be intentional, putting God first in everything I do, and being grateful and content for everything I have and for the friends and family I have. I want to make every task count, so quality over quantity, remembering that Jesus is the reason for the season.

I would continue doing journaling or prompt brain dumps.

#autumnjournalpromptchrist

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Write about a time when you felt God's presence most vividly this year.

When Diana extended the invitation to have a meal with me. I was grappling with accepting the outcome of the police investigation. It was timely. I could not make sense of the outcome because I felt God is supposed to wing it for me. It was a pivotal period, really. I could either grow closer or leave God out of the sheer heartbreak and devastation of the outcome.

When Diana thought of the verse and share it with me, that nothing can seperate us from God... And that the Lord detest lying lips. And said "Mark my words, he won't get to run away from judgment. God will come after him." It is so comforting. She reminds me that God is just. So don't give up.

I felt God was there in our midst. We did not meet by accident indeed. That she felt a prompting in her heart to reach out to me, and when that happens it is usually when the person needs help. He is here, in my life. Whether I feel His presence acutely or not. He is here. Thank you, Jesus for being here. There is no one else I need.

#autumnjournalpromptchrist

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How has God revealed His faithfulness to you this year?

For providing me people who walk with me in this season:

Sarah, for being my listening ear and being there for me in my toughest times.

Diana, for also doing the same as well, and being so friendly to me.

Mei Yin, for trying to get to know me and make me feel a bit more welcome into the cell.

Eve, for talking to me and also getting to know me a little better.

Stacy, for the sincere and intentional conversations. I feel like I have somewhat of a spiritual family.

For AWARE support people, Farah, Hui Yi and Steph to support me in my healing journey.

For Eunise, for looking out for me, I have companionship and don't feel so alone.

He has sent people to be with me in their various capacities. Thank you, Jesus. Without them, life may be less bearable. They remind me that regardless of any outcomes, Your presence in my life is the most important of all.

#autumnjournalpromptchrist