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@evolutionofastupidwhore-blog
An attempt at the most comprehensive Stripper Guide available:
Prepping [Mentally] For Stripperdom:
Being in a clear, sound mental state is required to make solid money as a stripper. Not just suggested. REQUIRED. I don’t want any of this “I’m desperate for money so I’m gonna strip!”...
1. push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise. 2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable. 3. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else. 4. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything. 5. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice. 6. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small. 7. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full. 8. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle. 9. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck. 10. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog. 11. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through. 13. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything. 14. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends. 15. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.
(via elauxe)
A self care list. I’ve been working on this. I promise it’s worth it.
(via sweetbloodsomalia)
Not sure how they got away with this, but I am sure it will make you smile
To W
I just spent an hour tumblring and clitrubbing, thinking about you ordering me around and berating me. So many orgasms.
You’ll note that I posted some one knee up images. I set myself a challenge to find at least five. I want to make daddy happy and give him what he likes.
Also there’s a nerd quiz. Heh. Tell me which topics you play in quiz up - perhaps we’ll do battle over Beatles lyrics .
Are you impressed that I know what it's called?
Not dirty, yes funny. Letter in response to a 14 year old kid asking John Cleese if he had a fan club.
http://mobile.youporn.com/video/show/title/fakeagentuk_hardcore_threesome_with_2_dirty_hot_british_girls/id/9773731
Here’s an example of something that I didn’t know was arousing to me, but it turns out, it is. I was watching this Fake Agent clip (I know, I know. I can’t help it, it’s an immediate orgasm inducer) and at 7:05 I saw him start fucking her with that butt plug in her ass and I fucking came like lightning.
Daddy chooses my sexual orientation.
Sorry about the crappy writing, I had just finished doing all my homework and my hand hurt before I even started.