Thoughts and feelings that strike at night...

Every so often, when I get into deep thought, an existential crisis hits me. There is no clear way to explain how it feels. These evoke such feelings. (ask before reblogging. some of these can already be found on tumblr.)

[theexplodingpsychology-blog]

The central nervous system of a human. This is everything you are.

[medicalman93-deactivated2018120]

This picture speaks volumes! This is literally an entire being, thoughts, life, memories, senses, everything.

[scntrx-deactivated20191108]

[11-19-1999xx]

Holy hell the existential crisis is strong right now. I’ve fallen deep into it.  I am out of my body right now. Too deep get mybrain awayfrom me. Dear God this song I’ve never heard it before it is killing hurting me!!!!!!! I’m actually bawling my eyes out Right now the existentialism is too much  I can’t I can’t so much. Creation evolution civilization extinction the end of days. Take that one extinction video I made 3 yrs ago sloppily madejust to trigger the same feelings as this and multiply the intensity of the feeling by 100!

i feel it wash over me, hitting me deep in my soul, it’s painful, my mind is hurting i feel the weight of it pulling me down, gravity suddenly feels a lot stronger…. it’s so hard to fathom while living in your simple fabrication oreality, human life..what we’ve made of the world,humanity, mortal concerns, but once it hits you, a whole other dimension opens,your eyesthe realization, the nihilism, existential feelings,,,, who are we??! so scary so empty.the passage of time millions of years millions ……… Millions more?

[criminallyinnocent]

[existentialchills]

Hey, I see the trees are green again Maybe, this time around you'll set the trend Today's the day you make your mark, I'm sure And if you don't, if you don't, then try the next door

Brush the dust off, it's dawn again, my friend Next time you'll get it, next time you'll make amends Tomorrow's children will need a light to shine the way Without you, without you, who will tell them to stay?

But I can't stop you, there you go again Falling like a star, sinking like a stone Watching as the world you're in Now takes it's toll

Because you are Falling like a star, sinking like a stone Watching as the world you're in now Now slowly takes it's tollI don't think, you know I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry But you try, but you try, but you try

You, lucky you, lucky you, lucky you Lucky you, lucky you, lucky you

- Ian Watkins, 2004

[existentialchills]

I am very fond of the relationships we form to obscure and otherwise forgotten pieces of media, especially in youth. How kept memories attached to movies no one else remembers seeing seem so explicitly personal and canonized. Pulled from a separate timeline. Because everyone has a childhood memory related to a lion king VHS tape, and these memories are kept alive by pervasive cultural consciousness. Almost formed for you, always reminding. But who remembers watching the Borrowers in your aunt’s basement on a mattress on the concrete floor. You think “did that even happen.” You google whether that movie ever existed. It did. 1997. You think maybe it only needed to exist for you.

- Taylor-Ruth, March 7, 2016

[existentialchills]

The Last Time

From the moment you hold your baby in your arms, you will never be the same. You might long for the person you were before, When you have freedom and time, And nothing in particular to worry about.

You will know tiredness like you never knew it before, And days will run into days that are exactly the same, Full of feedings and burping, Nappy changes and crying, Whining and fighting, Naps or a lack of naps, It might seem like a never-ending cycle.

But don’t forget … There is a last time for everything. There will come a time when you will feed your baby for the very last time. They will fall asleep on you after a long day And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child.

One day you will carry them on your hip then set them down, And never pick them up that way again. You will scrub their hair in the bath one night And from that day on they will want to bathe alone. They will hold your hand to cross the road, Then never reach for it again. They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles, And it will be the last night you ever wake to this.

One afternoon you will sing “the wheels on the bus” and do all the actions, Then never sing them that song again. They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate, The next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone. You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face. They will run to you with arms raised for the very last time.

The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time Until there are no more times. And even then, it will take you a while to realize.

So while you are living in these times, remember there are only so many of them and when they are gone, you will yearn for just one more day of them. For one last time.

[existentialchills]

I was strapped inside my carseat, softly closing my eyes…Hot air blew in from the window of our 2003 Mitsubishi. I was clad in gingham shorts and shirt with a denim bucket hat as we drove under the trees. The 4 o’clock sun drifted to gold, shadows flickered on my pale skin, shapes of leaves–I carried on, never recalling where I went or what we did, but remembering the feeling of never wanting to forget. So I always remembered that moment…I held on tightly to that feeling, like a locket keeps a photo of the boy you love. Sparkly glimmers of memories return to me, miraculously. 

- rosefairygarden, March 7, 2016

[existentialchills]

If I lay in bed without a distraction, all I can think about is that one day I will no longer have thoughts, no longer experience life, no longer exist. Everything will fall away and I will miss everything mankind has to offer after my life ends. My name will disappear into dust, my life will shift from an after thought to being full-blown forgotten. I'm so scared and can't face this fear of death. The worst part is, I'm barely over 21 years old with no illnesses. So who am I to complain?

- Selfish_And_Ok, January 5, 2017

[existentialchills]

I miss being a baby and having wordless thoughts even though I don’t remember that time at all im just thinking about the limitations of language and the many ways we try to communicate ourselves and understand each other and how it’s all futile ……. when you’re little and don’t know words at all you can do is experience, you just observe and touch and make assumptions and try to understand your world without having to articulate the experience to yourself or anyone else it’s just pure knowledge hm

- body5000, June 25, 2016

[existentialchills]

Does it bother anyone else that there are parts of your life you don’t remember? You have done and said things that you don’t even know about anymore. That means you don’t even have the right perception of yourself because you don’t even fully know who you are. However, something that you’ve forgotten about could be a prominent memory in somebody else’s mind. It trips me out.

- frankiebb16, unknown

[peachpitgirl]

[existentialchills]

Yū Yi

the desire to see with fresh eyes, and feel things just as powerfully as you did when you were younger-before expectations, before memory, before words.

[existentialchills]

”The older you get, the faster time goes by” she said. “Before you know it, it’s 3 am and you’re 80 years old and you can’t remember what it was like to have 20 year old thoughts or a 10 year old heart.”

- Unknown

[existentialchills]

Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead Yesterday is a promise that you've broken Don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes This is your life and today is all you've got now And today is all you'll ever have This is your life, are you who you want to be? This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be? When the world was younger and you had everything to lose Yesterday is a kid in the corner Yesterday is dead and over This is your life, are you who you want to be? This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be? When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

- Jon Foreman, 2003

[contac]

[dictionaryofobscuresorrows]

énouement

n. the bittersweetness of having arrived here in the future, where you can finally get the answers to how things turn out in the real world—who your baby sister would become, what your friends would end up doing, where your choices would lead you, exactly when you’d lose the people you took for granted—which is priceless intel that you instinctively want to share with anybody who hadn’t already made the journey, as if there was some part of you who had volunteered to stay behind, who was still stationed at a forgotten outpost somewhere in the past, still eagerly awaiting news from the front.