轉世

Thank you...

[exkyuhyun-jju]

(This is Yanna, suzy's rper. I just want to tell you that after I came back and read stuff here I kinda cried. I know that's so screwed up, go ahead and laugh. But ugh I feel so bad for your muse. and I kinda feel bad that I was too busy. Why do I feel so guilty for a fictional character oh god Jennifer)

(Oh Yanna I feel so bad for you to cry for something I made up on whim, I ask for your forgiveness,

But it can’t be helped if you are busy — it’s good that you have your priorities straight. I don’t know much about what’s going on here but I have been lurking. As far as I can see it has not been very active so you are not the only one in that position. You have absolutely no reason to feel guilty.) 

[exkyuhyun-jju]

Goodbye.

I really didn't want to do this, but with the proposed rule changes I believe that I am no longer fit to play this character. It is not for losing my muse or whatever but it is simply because I don't have the time to do it. I don't feel myself to be a special case, nor do I ask people to be more lenient towards me just because people have an affinity towards me or my character so with great regret I have decided to leave this directory.

I may as well give tell you guys something else about me. It may not necessarily be diagnosed but I feel I suffer from mild depression. This is mainly because I see my life, myself and my future as being very bleak. This has been the case for at least 3 years now but it has gotten at a far more severe stage due to the rapid changes in my life. Aside from my mother and perhaps some of you, I have no other people I am close to... I also have nothing in my life to believe or aspire in... which is probably the worst thing I have experienced on an emotional level. So when I say giving Jeonjin up is hard, I damn well mean it. 

With that said I am in great need of thank you to each one of you for making my stay so hospitable and making me feel apart of something important, albeit being something so insignificant as a mere roleplay directory.  I don't lie when I say my happiest memories where here with you all. Each and every one of you are special and I feel honoured and humbled by just speaking to you people.

Anyway I guess I should say a few words to people then:

 To Chemi typist: Wow our characters have been through a lot of crap together. I really wanted Kyu and Chemi to be happy and make up. I am sorry I couldn't stay long enough to make that possible. You were probably the person I enjoyed speaking to the most and you are very kind (and cool). I wish I was as passionate and sincere about music as you. I think your life will entail wonderful things. Especially if you acknowledge the wonderful things people say about you. You are really better than you give yourself credit for. Thank you for giving me the pleasure to get to know you... Even if your anonymity was always present.

To Juniel typist: You are probably one of the most kindest people I have ever known. In a world so mean and dark you seem to look past it all and persevere. I really admire your adamant nature and how hard you work. I was always envious at just how talented you are. If anyone deserved happiness and good fortune, it is without a doubt you. And your writing! Your writing will always be something that will make me remember you, simply because your passion for it is so evident when you write. Hell your writing is just as intricate (and dare I say as cryptic) as the readings I get from uni. I will miss you and how you would always go up and talk to people. Not many people are like that... And I think everyone here appreciates how lovely you are.

To Hoya typist: I liked talking to you a lot. You are a really fun and interesting person. I feel regret for not getting to know you a bit more because you are so lovely. Anyway I hope you do well in your studies and achieve whatever you want in your life. I hope you'll meet Big Bang too haha ;; thanks to you, I can tell who Hoya is when I watch an Infinite music video. Otaku pride, yeah? I'll miss you!

To Suzy typist: I am so sorry for leaving... I feel especially bad for your character. Kyuhyun did not seem to be the sort of person that fulfilled what Suzy wanted as a partner but anyway... In regards to you, I really liked to talk to you about stuff -- about anything really. It really made me feel good to know that you cared about me as a person so thank you for caring and I guess wanting my best interests? You seem to be very studious too, so I hope whatever career path you choose you will find fulfilment in it. (I also feel bad now because my bias is Changmin again but hey I am more than open to fangirl about Kyuhyun with you if the future permits it)

To Seohyun typist: Another person of whom I absolutely admire. Despite being one of the oldest members (OOC at least) you have this youth about you that I cannot pinpoint. I liked to gossip with you about JJU ships and talk about Aussie and about Asia too. And taking journalism myself I should say you do an excellent job with your character, being a sticky beak and all. I unfortunately am not like Seo Joohyun so haha I may struggle with this course but anyway I hope you are doing well in yours. I'll miss seeing you on the dashboard... and I feel sad that I never saw Hoya and Joohyun get together. Goodbye lovely person!

To Boom typist: You are just so awesome; you’re fantastic really and that is just your character! Despite not having spoken to you much, I have been left with the impression of a well-intended and idiosyncratic person. Thank you for understanding my fandom needs and freaking out with me about ELF and Super Junior. I will miss you and I will miss being gay with you. Happy or homosexual, you were a blast to be around! 

To Xiumin typist: I have nothing but thankfulness towards you. Thank you for roleplaying with me when I first came here. Thank you for being so supportive of everyone in this directory. Thank you for reviving it and helping everyone but most of all thank you for just being here. Despite knowing little about you, you have left a very profound impression on me. You will be one of the people I think most highly of in this directory.  Thanks for being great and putting up with bullshit you probably shouldn’t have to put up with.

To the next Kyuhyun: Hey you know if you give it a chance and stick it out this place is really fab. Please give justice to this incredible human being and make Kyuhyun proud. Just do a better job than me -- that shouldn't be that hard. But most of all just have fun and be happy.

Anyway, I’ll keep this blog just in case if I decide to come back. If you want to contact me (don’t see why you would) but if you do, just let me know and I will give you my personal e mail. I’ll answer your inboxes in the coming week and when I get a chance to, I’ll be deleting my other account which is Joon-jju.  Thank you again and goodbye.

[exkyuhyun-jju]

Hiatus

Sorry guys. University life is just too much for me and my free time is just replaced with more study... I am not sure when I will be back but if I don't post something in 2 months I'm going to leave the directory so someone else who is more committed can play

[aneducation]

[arpeggia]

Pickpocket, 1959  directed by Robert Bresson

[xchemi-jju-deactivated20160112]

Hello Again || Kyuhyun & Yongwon

[xchemi-jju-deactivated20160112]

  One look at his face and she felt like she had been physically stabbed with a dagger. Yongwon knew him long enough to know that Kyuhyun was more than just mad at her. He was hurt. He probably felt betrayed. And she was the cause of it. She realised - or perhaps she already knew, but only decided to come to terms with it then - that whatever she said would not change anything. She had already lost him.

But at least that meant she did not need to calculate her response. She had nothing to lose for she had lost it already.

"First off, I’m sorry. I doubt I’ll ever be able to say that enough, and I doubt you’ll believe I mean it either. But I do, and I am truly sorry. I’m sorry for leaving so abruptly. I’m sorry for being a lousy friend and hurting you. But most of all, I’m sorry that you had to meet and deal with an idiotic coward like me."

With her eyes deliberately fixated on the carpeted floor and her hands playing with the strings attached to her hooded tee, she began to explain the best she could. “You see, I didn’t really have a normal or pleasant childhood. The way my parents treated me left me with scars; not physical, but mental and emotional ones. These scars have been with me for as long as I can remember, and well, my ability to think rationally has long been compromised. I live in fear, and my thoughts are influenced by fear.”

"I came to Jeonjin, and met people that made life so much better. People like you. For once, I felt accepted for the weirdo I am, and I was able to smile genuinely. Then one day, I have a nightmare and fear strikes. I get worried that my past will come back to haunt me, and it drives me to run away. And so I did. I ran away from the one place that made me happy because of irrational fear."

"I know it’s a stupid reason. But what can I say…" a short, bitter laugh interrupted her words. Yongwon looked up at the male for the first time since she began speaking. "… I’m messed up. "

[exkyuhyun-jju]

Cho Kyuhyun acknowledged that he was the sole cause of the remorse which had consumed his friend at the aforementioned moment -- but he didn't want to care. This rebellion and cynicism cost the third year a purging loss of friends and loved ones, which he also knew. But it was Kim Yongwon who (quite incredulously) filled this broken man with more human emotion than he would ever come to fathom in his brief and uneventful life. It was the look of despair on her face that made Kyuhyun ardently wish to hug her, comfort her... Even if it were at the cost of his own pride... Reality however could not allow to give leeway to such compassionate, idealistic approaches.

What she decided to blabber appeared to be things that were irrelevant: She spoke in complete solemnity whilst remaining apologetic in the duration of her poor reasoning. Strangely, hearing Kim Yongwon say she was 'sorry' was of little consolation. It was rare for this woman to show such humility towards him; much so that her conveying it was so unattractive... it was so Un Kim Yongwon. And despite all of this, her causality remained in tact -- perhaps that's just the way she was, and probably always will be. Kyuhyun was about to get up and leave until he heard Yongown speak the traumas of her past.

She had avoided using an intricate description, nonetheless Kim Yongwon had now claimed she had been emotionally traumatised by her family. Kyuhyun found his head turning back towards her in an attempt to interpret her expressions. It proved to be fruitless due to her hair draping the majority of her face. Was it possible that Yongwon experienced a comparatively worse childhood? Unlike Kim Yongwon, Kyuhyun knew the effects of physical abuse. But he was also the victim of emotional degradation, thus his being able to empathsise with her.

Once hearing such a reason, he came to the conclusion that Kim Yongwon was not so different from him after all. That she too was just as dirty, and perhaps maybe even more broken than he was. To exert anger towards her now would demote him as complete scum. He had also come to the realisation that Park Chanyeol was probably being so chivalrous about everything: telling Yongwon how much he had missed her, loved her and how happy he was to see her. A feeling of nausea propelled against him at the thought; followed by anger, then self-pitying jealousy. Never in his life had he ever desired to be another person -- but Kim Yongwon made anything possible for Cho Kyuhyun. But then again, perhaps it was best that she would never feel as emotionally inclined as he, We would just make one another miserable... because we are both miserable people.

"Okay...." He finally said after minutes of silence, "You never needed my forgiveness anyway... You did what you had to." Slowly, he dragged himself off the couch and headed towards the door. He offered her a smile albeit being somewhat forced. "I'll see you around,"

[exkyuhyun-jju]

Weird taste in music Kyu-ge.

[musicalbums]

Visit Original Link

Gloria Gaynor | I Will Survive

[chanyeol-jju]

  *deflates* I-I invented a tree that EATS money..

[exkyuhyun-jju]

That seems a lot more believable... If I had to pick.

[exkyuhyun-jju]

chanyeol-jju replied to your post:Kyu~ *wiggles brows* I have invented the money tree~!!

But there was a problem so I had to burn it~ *grins*

Yeah, of course you did.

[exkyuhyun-jju]

Kyu~ *wiggles brows* I have invented the money tree~!!

(/looks at you somewhat skeptically) Is that so? 

[exkyuhyun-jju]

Describe yourself in one word.

Tainted.

[exkyuhyun-jju]

What would you do if you could time travel?

I’d travel to every possible point in time and experience as much as I can before I died. I don’t think I would do anything different to any other person who had an opportunity to do so.

[exkyuhyun-jju]

10, 37, 53.

10) What was the last lie you told?

I said the last time I had a shower was yesterday… I haven’t had one for about 3 days.

37) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

Well I don’t know if what I have is what people really want… Other than somewhat decent looks and high intellect I don’t think I have anything to offer. Usually when I like someone I just do nothing.

53) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

Anything regarding my personal life.

[blueprincez]

[exkyuhyun-jju]

48, 54, 19.

48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

'Here lies a lover of an infinite number of random occurrences'

Or less seriously: ‘Here lies the man of your dreams’

54) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

The only time you would get me to eat vegetables is if you hid them from me in plain sight… So I guess that possibility would be highly unlikely for me.

But if you want me to answer this question I would want the gift of time travel.

19) What’s your biggest “what if”?

What if I go back to Seoul? Would I be any happier?

[jjuwu]

It's Just Research // Kyuhyun&&Kris

[jjuwu]

  Kris clenched and unclenched his hands where they rested on the register, his nerves making his stomach flop over. He straightened out the lines in his head, trying to mentally flip through them and figure out which one was the best to start with. Wait— what? 

Outwardly, Kris relaxed slightly, dropping his shoulders a bit as he looked up and met the other’s eyes. Inwardly, he was having a mental breakdown— of sorts. Why did he want to think about which line would be the best to use? He should just use the lines anyway, it’s not like he actually wanted these lines to work right? He didn’t actually want to pick up and date random people for a project. Leading people on really was not his style. 

He really should have thought this through a lot more. Like a lot more. His confidence fleeing abruptly and leaving him floundering, Kris tried to switch to his default mode. 

"Hi, what can I get you tonight— uh, this morning—" he asked, stumbling slightly over his words and clearing his throat. "It’s morning now right?" He asked with a half smile. 

[exkyuhyun-jju]

The tall man appeared to be a little green whilst he attempted his rather awkward greeting. The amount of silence between the two was accentuated by the whistling noises from the cafe's various coffee machines. Kyuhyun had paged the man in front of him to be so due to his sense of anxiousness, implied through the tall one's clenching hands. Bending his head slightly, Kyuhyun observed the methodical action. Naturally, the maths student was expectant of his service albeit being considerably slow. It was safe to assume that this man be new to the barrister job in addition to the tangible fact that the blonde was new to the campus.

Upon meeting his gaze, Kyuhyun saw the other's pupils dilate through his glasses. Unsure if he was the actual cause for the man's timid initiation, Kyuhyun mirrored his action of dropping his shoulders in an attempt to relax the other. Admittedly, the barrister's fearfulness caused a mild sense of unease in himself -- something in the way he carried himself was in reality, quite off-putting. While walking off to find another worker, the tall man began to speak again. Among the plethora of stuttered words, he asked Kyuhyun for his order -- and the time of day.

Slightly bemused, Kyuhyun offered the other a furrowed brow. The question this blonde headed man decided to ask was overly queer, considering the condition of the outer world could be seen from the entity of the space along with it's open view windows. But he jest, giving the latter a somewhat skeptical look. "You were right before... It's evening. Anyway just a flat white." Without a word, Kyuhyun gave this quixotic man a weary gaze before sitting himself on one of the unoccupied tables.    

[exkyuhyun-jju]

39, 43, 46

39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

Playing Starcraft

43) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Ben by Michael Jackson

46) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

In my case it definitely does,