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@extrastrology
The Signs as Actual Shakespeare Quotes
Aries: What's pity?
Taurus: How now wool-sack
Gemini: What, you egg
Cancer: His countenance likes me not
Leo: Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all
Virgo: No
Libra: You are an ass
Scorpio: The bird is dead
Sagittarius: thou mis-shapen Dick
Capricorn: I do not like her name
Aquarius: I am slain
Pisces: I am gone for ever
The Signs As Suburban Dads
Aries: John, Age 43. 4 kids. The dad that gets really competitive in neighborhood cooking/BBQ contests. Wears a lot of polo shirts, probably a DILF. Was really wild as a teenager and his wild side still probably shows through a lot.
Taurus: Thomas, Age 42. 3 kids. The dad that loves to spoil his kids and take them to lots of baseball games. Treats his daughter(s) like princesses and his son(s) like royalty. Loves going to neighborhood block parties, although always tends to drink a bit too much at them. Major DILF, has all his daughter's friends swooning.
Gemini: Ian, Age 45. 3 kids. Loves his kids and wife more than anything, is always trying to show off for them and please them. Goes to every single one of their kids' sports games and probably has coached at least 3 baseball teams.
Cancer: Brian, Age 41. 2 kids. A major stay-at-home dad. Is very smart and is always helping his kids with their homework. Wears a lot of hats and enjoys golfing any chance he gets. Probably really tall.
Leo: Steve, Age 45. 5+ kids. The typical BBQ dad. Loves throwing house/block parties, always tends to drink way too much at these. Loves his trophy wife, probably sells weed throughout the neighborhood.
Virgo: Nathan, Age 46. 1 kid. Is very quiet and reserved at parties, doesn't really like to socialize much. His favorite time of the week is family game night, where he gets super competitive. Loves cooking dinner for his family, makes the best meals ever.
Libra: Chuck, Age 47. 2 kids. Used to always smoke cigars, recently switched to vaping since it is way more 'hip'. Loves going out at night to bars and stuff with his wife, smokes a lot of weed and probably has a twitter, snapchat, instagram, and tumblr.
Scorpio: Chris, Age 41. 2 kids. Makes a lot of dad jokes, wears a lot of baseball hats. Is always making business calls on his blackberry, gets super into holidays and always makes it a competition to buy the best gifts. Volunteers at the school a lot. Hates his mother-in-law.
Sagittarius: Mark, Age 42. 4 kids. The "cool" dad. Is always trying to keep up with the new trends, always wants to take his kids hiking and to baseball games and just outside doing stuff. Is probably super tall, eats a LOT at dinner, major DILF.
Capricorn: Jeff, Age 46. 3 kids. Has a strong disliking towards the neighbors, is always traveling on business trips and stuff. His favorite day of the year is 'take your kid to work' day. Bought the biggest house he could find for his family. Has a really obnoxious mom.
Aquarius: Michael, Age 43. 2 kids. Watches a lot of sports, is always playing golf on the weekends and in his free-time. Secret stoner, sneaks out to the porch to sneak a quick joint way more often than he probably should. The "fun" dad, gets into fights at his kids' sports games and adores his wife more than anything.
Pisces: Tim, Age 44. 3 kids. The hot dad. All of his daughter's friends are so obviously in love with him. Has a trophy wife, loves drinking champagne and fancy drinks. Dresses in polo shirts and khakis, works a lot but always manages to make time for his family.
Mars in Leo Ecard
letters to the signs
Dear Aries Moon: you give me a rush. you excite me. you get things done quickly and you do them well. you're a natural leader with powerful instincts. I wish I were as daring as you.
Dear Aries Venus: I have fallen in love with you and your adventures. You persuade me to love everything you do.
Dear Taurus Moon: you stand for everything you believe in. you're able to make realistic approaches and decisions.I wish I were as successful as you.
Dear Taurus Venus: I have fallen in love with you and your determination. You know right from wrong and good from bad.
Dear Gemini Moon: your mind never stops. you're bubbling over with excitement and ideas. you're a natural born storyteller. I wish I were as outgoing as you.
Dear Gemini Venus: I have fallen in love with you and your words. You're talkative and adorable.
Dear Cancer Moon: you're protective and genuine. you know how to be sympathetic and helpful. I wish I were as thoughtful as you.
Dear Cancer Venus: I have fallen in love with you and the love you give me. You understand the deepest pits of my emotions.
Dear Leo Moon: you know you're killing it every day. you're confident and even with insecurities you know how to love yourself. I wish I were as confident as you.
Dear Leo Venus: I have fallen in love with you and your strength. you love with pride and care. loyal.
Dear Virgo Moon: you analyze everyone and everything. motions, words, feelings, and answer things practically. I wish I were as observant as you.
Dear Virgo Venus: I have fallen in love with you and your smarts. you're careful and cautious but it pays off in the long run.
Dear Libra Moon: you're generous and fair. you like everyone to get along and love each other. I wish I were as loving as you.
Dear Libra Venus: I have fallen in love with you and your generosity. you believe in equality and try not to be so critical.
Dear Scorpio Moon: you're intense and emotional. your thoughts consume you and you fight yourself. I wish I were as valuable as you.
Dear Scorpio Venus: I have fallen in love with you and your passion. you try your best to get what you want and often succeed.
Dear Sagittarius Moon: you're bright and full of fun. you know how to start a journey. I wish I were as carefree as you.
Dear Sagittarius Venus: I have fallen in love with you and your optimism. You see the world in a positive and hopeful light.
Dear Capricorn Moon: you're hard-working, determined, and successful. You're realistic. I wish I put in as much effort as you do.
Dear Capricorn Venus: I have fallen in love with you and your drive. you get things done well, and work to distract yourself.
Dear Aquarius Moon: you're detached and intellectual. you prefer animals/nature over people. I wish I were as intelligent as you.
Dear Aquarius Venus: I have fallen in love with and your mind. you know so much and push me to think harder.
Dear Pisces Moon: you're sweet and connect with people with your heart. you're so nice to everyone. I wish I were as kind as you.
Dear Pisces Venus: I have fallen in love with you and your heart. you're romantic and sensual and love powerfully.
The signs as quotes from The Office
Aries: I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.
Taurus: Sometimes i’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.
Gemini: I have flaws. What are they? I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally i’ll hit somebody with my car.
Cancer: Blink once if you want me to pull the plug.
Leo: You don’t know me. You’ve just seen my penis.
Virgo: Well, happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party’s so lame.
Libra: I saw Inception. Or at least I dreamt I did.
Scorpio: You don’t call retarded people retards. It’s bad taste. You call your friends retards when they’re acting retarded.
Sagittarius: One day Michael came in complaining about a speed bump on the highway. I wonder who he ran over then.
Capricorn: Toby is in HR, which technically means he is part of corporate, which means he is not part of our family. He’s also divorced, which means he’s not part of his family.
Aquarius: Should have burned the place down when I had the chance.
Pisces: My perfect Valentine’s Day? I’m at home, three cell phones in front of me, fielding desperate calls from the people who want to buy one of the 50 restaurant reservations I made over 6 months ago.
Things you should always tell to the Signs
Aries: You're so passionate and alive that your presence alone fills me with desire to live better
Taurus: Simply being you makes me feel safe and cared for, your aura exhales protection like no other
Gemini: I am in love with your brilliant mind and the beautiful words it is able to render if you just let it
Cancer: I'll never forget the time when you were the only who was there to hold my hand and wipe my tears
Leo: Your silhouette is pure fire, your attitude solid gold and the way you walk & talk gives me the shivers
Virgo: You're admired from afar for how much you're able to accomplish without having a major meltdown
Libra: You have the purest heart, the brightest mind and the classiest sundress we have ever seen
Scorpio: You want to be on your own but your true friends are here to help you fight against those demons
Sagittarius: You're not aware of how strong you are because you're not solid as a rock. You're like water which always finds a way to keep moving.
Capricorn: Letting go of control is not failing, smiling isn't inviting someone in, crying isn't defeat.
Aquarius: Each time you tell me about your dreams, you color my day in hues I didn't even know existed.
Pisces: You inspire me to write about the kindness of strangers for how much you warm me up with your smile
thirteen reasons astrology is awesome
1. Knowing about your astrological profile can help you gain a deeper understanding of yourself and foster self-acceptance.
2. Astrology is a great way to categorize people’s personalities and understand patterns of behavior. It’s one more piece of the personality puzzle that they don’t teach you in psychology class.
3. It makes judging people super easy and fun. For example, you get to sigh dramatically and say things like, “Typical Pisces.”
4. Once you know a little bit about astrology, you will start fielding questions from friends and random people at parties and suddenly everyone thinks you’re a cool spiritual guru.
5. It can give you an instantaneous commonality and connection with others: “You’re a Taurus?! Me too! Wanna trade recipes?”
6. It takes people watching to a whole new level. It’s super fun to play “guess the sign” as you size up strangers.
7. Astrology can help you improve your relationships by better understanding the people in your life. Ever wonder why you can’t get a word in edgewise with your sister? Read up on Geminis and you’ll realize she can’t help it!
8. Dressing in harmony with your sign can help you create a flattering wardrobe and wear it with confidence.
9. You can use astrology as a tool for self-improvement. Example: “Yes I am a raging jealous Scorpio; maybe I should work on that!”
10. It gives you an excuse to shop at hippie bookstores.
11. You can use it as an easy conversation starter or to flirt with people– “What’s your sign, baby?”
12. Paying attention to what signs you date and socialize with can help you spot patterns in who you’re drawn to and what qualities you value in people. Maybe your last three partners and your best friend are all Aries–clearly you like a lot of excitement!
13. At its core, astrology is about the movements of the solar system and how it affects us. Learning about it can help you feel a deeper connection to the universe and better understand your purpose in it.
Sagittarius Rising
Smiths Songs For The Signs
Aries: Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now// "In my life
why do I smile at people who I'd much rather kick in the eye?"
Taurus: Reel Around The Fountain// "Fifteen minutes with you
well, I wouldn't say no."
Gemini: There Is A Light That Never Goes Out// "Take me out tonight, because I want to see people and I want to see life."
Cancer: I Know It's Over// "And I know it's over - still I cling, I don't know where else I can go."
Leo: How Soon Is Now// "I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does."
Virgo: What Difference Does It Make?// "For we have been through hell and high tide, I think I can rely on you and yet you start to recoil. "
Libra: This Charming Man// "Ah ! A jumped-up pantry boy, who never knew his place."
Scorpio: Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me// "Last night I dreamt, that somebody loved me. No hope - but no harm, just another false alarm."
Sagittarius: The Boy With The Thorn In His Side// "The boy with the thorn in his side. Behind the hatred there lies a murderous desire for love."
Capricorn: Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want// "Haven't had a dream in a long time
see, the life I've had can make a good man bad."
Aquarius: Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before// "Nothing's changed. I still love you, oh, I still love you, only slightly, only slightly less, than I used to, my love."
Pisces: Asleep//"There is a better world. Well, there must be."
The signs as wiki-how illustrations.
Aries-
Taurus-
Gemini-
Cancer-
Leo-
Virgo-
Libra-
Scorpio-
Sagittarius-
Capricorn-
Aquarius-
Pisces-
Rising/Ascendant Signs: Your Achilles Heel
Aries Rising: Projecting your aggressiveness onto others
Taurus Rising: Forcing others to comply with your ideas and values
Gemini Rising: Rapidly changing personas to shock others
Cancer Rising: Playing the victim to manipulate others
Leo Rising: Needing to be the centre of attention in all social circles
Virgo Rising: Being too critical and demanding of others
Libra Rising: Becoming what others want you to be
Scorpio Rising: Being too suspicious of other people's motives
Sagittarius Rising: Not taking others matters seriously enough
Capricorn Rising: Stepping over others to get where you need to be
Aquarius Rising: Rebelling against others when unnecessary
Pisces Rising: Taking on the personalities of other people
Why You're Still Single
Aries: The very same self-assured nature that seemed like a siren song early in the relationship with an Aries quickly turns annoying. An Aries needs to tone down his or her ego and “me first” attitude during the occasional compromise if a relationship is going to last.
Taurus: Don’t assume your partner will remain loyal if you stop looking after your appearance or get too lazy about trying to ignite romance. Stubborn Taurus partners also tend to hold grudges and allow resentment to grow after the same fight happens repeatedly.
Gemini: If cheating is a pattern in your relationships, it may be that Gemini trait coming out. Dating a Gemini can be confusing for his or her partner if the Gemini reinvents his or her personality too often, which can send pursuers running for the hills.
Cancer: A Cancer has the danger of mentioning scary things like marriage and kids too early in the relationship. Cancer partners tend to be clingy, causing their dating partners to feel smothered and want to back off instead of relaxing into the embrace of love.
Leo: As a Leo, you argue with your lover in a relationship because you care. But a confused dating partner might feel that the Leo is constantly picking battles, which can become tiring. A Leo can remain single when winning personal battles is more important than winning someone’s heart.
Virgo: That gorgeous creature that you wish would ask you out on a date may not even believe that you are interested since Virgos are so shy. A Virgo also tends to give up too soon and never call back a date if even the slightest thing - real or imagined - goes wrong.
Libra: The dating life of a Libra can be a disaster if he or she keeps picking lovers that are “broken” and need to be “fixed.” In fact, a Libra might subconsciously seek out people who are bad for him or her, and then fall into a trap of becoming manipulative or deceptive.
Scorpio: The delightfully caustic wit of a Scorpio can turn to nagging in a relationship, which can cut it short. A Scorpio can have an “all or nothing” picky attitude that shoots down potential dates. Some Scorpio lovers can become controlling, which causes their mates to run.
Sagittarius: Are your standards just a little too high? Then you might just be a Sagittarius. Sure, you deserve the very best, and you don’t have to settle for anything. But refusing to think anyone is good enough for you is not attractive.
Capricorn: A Capricorn can be aloof and even jealous until his or her confidence has been won. Unfortunately, that takes a lot of time and persistence. A lover can easily become frustrated and bored before being able to appeal to the traditional values of a Capricorn.
Aquarius: An Aquarius is opinionated and doesn’t try to hide his or her quirky nature! This can be delightfully cute early on in a relationship, but the constant conflicts that the Aquarius can’t let go become destructive over time.
Pisces: Are you still pining after an ex? Then you might be a Pisces, whose self-sacrificing nature can build resentment, and who might not end a bad relationship. A Pisces can keep choosing lovers who use him or her, causing the single life to be revisited again and again.
Source: Horoscope
THE SIGNS AS: TYPES OF LOVE.
EROS ~ passionate physical and emotional love based on aesthetic enjoyment; stereotype of romantic love:
Taurus, Libra, Pisces
LUDUS ~ a love that is played as a game or sport; conquest; may have multiple partners at once:
Aries & Scorpio
STORAGE ~ an affectionate love that slowly develops from friendship, based on similarity:
Cancer, Leo, Sagittarius
PRAGMA ~ love that is driven by the head, not the heart:
Virgo & Capricorn
MANIA ~ obsessive love; experience great emotional highs and lows; possessive:
Gemini & Aquarius
Moon in Aries: People born when the Moon was in Aries are idealistic, energetic, and fiery. They’re quick – quick to fall in love, quick tempered, quick to forgive, they’re decisive, spontaneous and impulsive. They tend to be enthusiastic, determined and passionate. It’s their heart that rules over and above their head – and their Rams horns! Impatient, they seek instant gratification. Optimistic and open they can be naive, and fearless. They need their independence, they need action, and they need to be challenged.
Moon in Taurus: People born when the Moon was in Taurus cherish comfort – the tangible, material aspects as well as a solid sense of stability and security. Those with the moon in Taurus easily attract the finer things in life and have a well developed sense of sight, sound, smell, touch and taste. They tend to be patient, persevering and constant, preferring circumstances that are somewhat predictable, familiar or well established than high risk.
Moon in Gemini: People born when the Moon was in Gemini are lively, adaptable, and communicative. They need to be in touch with people and adore ‘getting together’, and will be the one to arrange a meet-up. Their minds are agile and alert, and they appear to always be on the go.
Moon in Cancer: People born when the Moon was in Cancer are imaginative, sensitive and incredibly nurturing. They have an innate need to support and protect, and in return, they need to feel safe and secure around their loved ones.Those with this moon sign have a strong connection with family, and can be very attached to home and the idea of togetherness in clans.
Moon in Leo: People born when the Moon was in Leo are warm, loyal and dignified. Among their close friends, colleagues and family these people are vibrant, confident and fun-loving. They need attention and to be in the limelight, they need to play, have fun and be creative.These people are generous with their spirits and their affections.
Moon in Virgo: People born when the Moon was in Virgo are discerning, practical and don’t miss the details. They naturally strive to be helpful and have analytical skills that are unmatched by the other zodiac signs. They’re organised, methodical and very driven.
Moon in Libra: People born when the Moon was in Libra are sociable and charming. They need harmony and seek companionship. They’re stylish, balanced people that respond to best to fairness and diplomacy. They need everyone to be nice!
Moon in Scorpio: People born when the Moon was in Scorpio are intensely private. They need the security of loyalty and can be quite suspicious of people’s motives until they’re a trusted companion. Good at probing, investigating and keeping secrets, your moon in Scorpio friend will unearth plenty about you, without showing their hand…
Moon in Sagittarius: People born when the Moon was in Sagittarius are broadminded. They can be philosophical and opinionated, they’re not afraid to speak up! Gregarious, fun and adventuresome they like to clown around.
Moon in Capricorn: People born when the Moon was in Capricorn are ambitious, highly driven and work harder than all the other signs to reach their goals. They aren’t afraid to wait out the early stages of an endeavour to reap greater rewards later.
Moon in Aquarius: People born when the Moon was in Aquarius need friendship, they need to collaborate with others and champion a cause, or two! Think of Lady Diana and her charitable causes. These people can lead a somewhat unconventional existence, or have something about them that goes against the ‘norm’. Intellectual and logical they’re far from dull, opinionated and little eccentric, these people can delight in surprising and at times, even shocking you! Both Britney Spears and Amanda Bynes are stars prone to outrageous, shock behaviour.
Moon in Pisces: People born when the Moon was in Pisces are imaginative and highly sensitive to their emotions, they’re very considerate of the feelings of others, too. Idealists, they tend to have a romantic outlook and can quite literally need to express their compassion or sacrificing tendencies, either in their relationships or through their work and vocation.
the air signs be like
someone: “did you know that -”
gemini/libra/aquarius: i know
someone: “did you know -”
gemini/libra/aquarius :i know
someone: “did you-”
gemini/libra/aquarius : i know
someone: “did-”
gemini/libra/aquarius: i know
someone: “do u have feelings for me?”
gemini/libra/aquarius: i dont know
SAY THAT SHIT
Bye!
Fuck ya’ll
Fun zodiac facts here!
