thank FUCK I'm not pretty anymore 🤘🏻

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@exuberantapodyopsis
thank FUCK I'm not pretty anymore 🤘🏻
if when I'm done
the world loves the things i loved a little more
then I've done well
I'm so ready to be someone's good idea
it's weird to feel both 1. experienced in relationships and 2. that the thing I need to be going forward is careful-er when choosing partners bc i think i can pretty easily like and romanticize and fall for a lot of people if they have [whatever the minimum set of things is i need*] and i want to be mindful of what I'm doing and periodically ask myself if the rel makes sense
time to make that journal i told my friend about!
* and🔥 skills can be on that list but that cannot be the entire list lmao
being alone can be lonely at times but it's lonelier to hang out with someone who's anxious to get back to someone else
it's so funny when all my friends are like "don't talk w your ex" but then no one else but him is around and/or responding or reaching out when I'm feeling chatty it's like ok either this means i suck or have really bad timing or maybe that everything is coincidentally just not working to make that (don't talk to your ex) an easy plan of action
it's wild to care for someone so much while also kinda despising them. to feel so comfortable in their embrace and yet also cold. to hold my hope by its neck, saying I'm glad you're still here but you can't be about this person anymore. choose literally anyone else.
it sucks when things between me and someone i like blow up 💥💨💀 right after they've just gotten really great bc that gets me suspicious of when things feel really great it's like live-action depression and it is fucking awful
manic pixie forever boy
earlier this week i was doing the whole "is the spirit realm real? nah, probs not" thing and then two people in two days (one i haven't seen or talked with in like 10+? years) wrote to me saying i was in their dreams so idk maybe I'm bopping around in other dimensions and consciousnesses more than i realize
well that makes at least three partners that I've gifted water bottles to 💧💦🌊
i just really have a thing for hydrated people ok?
"I love figuring out the barely possible" 💖
full(ish) quote "it might be tight or even impossible but I love figuring out the barely possible so let's scheme"
Facebook is sure I want to wear Lizzo's Yitty collection. And also wear binders for nonbinary people. I don't want to wear either of them, I just appreciate the ads 😂
ok maybe the binders sometimes but shhhhh
a mashup of
1. The Weeknd's Blinding Lights
2. Linkin Park's Lying From You, and
3. Hall & Oates' Maneater
Me: [thinks about Rihanna] brain: yeah, that guy in Anchorage Me: ??? brain: the guy from Hinge who you talked with once in early 2021. he moved to Anchorage. Me: okayyy? i remember that guy. wtf does he have to do with Rihanna? brain: because y'all talked about movies brain: and he suggested you watch Another Round brain: which stars Mads Mikkelsen, and you're both fans of him brain: and Mads Mikkelsen was the "bitch" in Rihanna's 2015 music video for "Bitch Better Have My Money" Me: I... brain: what? Me: ...thanks, brain brain: 😁
a series no one told you (me) about
feeling less depressed -> valuing yourself more -> valuing your time more -> more of doing what you want -> less of "doing what people tell you to do just because they tell you to" -> disappointing people a bit more often -> not caring as much about disappointing them, because now other people's opinions of you don't matter as much!!! -> not being sure what actually matters to you because now other people's opinions matter less 🙃 -> feeling somewhat more depressed because of this uncertainty
"our first earthquake together! and in bed 🥰"
over fourteen years (in earthquake country) and probably as many or more earthquakes and they still startle me and make me yelp