râni. @exulxnsis - Tumblr Blog

It’s so hard trying to navigate something so important whilst having such a heavy heart

When the loneliness starts making you question whether or not you’re even real

zuko fics all over my timeline… i’m home

wallsofparadis

god bless the jjk writers of tumblr

Mitski releasing a new album feels like a threat

Life is so weird. One minute you’ll be having a good old time, and then the next minute you’re blasting mitski again??

#mitski the way i both love and loathe your music #mostly the former #but still

“What are your plans for your birthday?” Idk man probably cry

#why is it so hard to not be miserable on ur bday

I wanted to feel something again and so i rewatched jjk.. now i’m feeling way too much and i hate it.

#jujutsu kaisen #i have such a love hate relationship with it #its so sickening like that why did all that have to happen #the fact that yuji is only sixteen is horrible like LET THAT CHILD TAKE A BREAK #its been so long since i last watched it that i forgot how depressing it is

I’m 10x more likely to buy a book if it’s floppy

No, the academia in dark academia isn’t just there for shits and giggles…

#katabasis #r f kuang #i’m seeing toooo much hate for my liking #i will glaze till i die idgaf #anyways i cant wait to start katabasis!

dr-santos

i will NEVER stop talking about “you’re hurting me”. there couldn’t have been better or more devastating last words for kitay. for so long he endured the pain every time rin called the fire. he never said anything. rin saw how much he was hurting, constantly asked him if he wants her to stop, but he always said no, always said he was fine because he never wanted to deny her anything. because he knew how important the fire was to her. the only time he denies her is at the very end, when rin loses her mind. and even then, at her worst, as she tries to overpower kitay, the SECOND he says “you’re hurting me” she stops. and not only does she stop, but it stops her descent into madness and she has one final moment of clarity. because “rin couldn’t hurt kitay and not worry about it. if she could, she’d be lost.”

#i feel sick i love them so much #chen kitay #the poppy war #fang runin #rinkitay #the burning god #r f kuang #tpw

liketheriverrspam

“not all men” yeah jem carstairs would never

#the shadowhunter chronicles #tid #the infernal devices #tsc #jem carstairs #brother zachariah

lncomfortable

I will never get over Fang Runin who didn’t have the privilege of having a heart. She destroys her uterus and any chance of having a family and writes to no one in her hometown because she can’t afford to be distracted from her studies the way that her classmates can. The people around her open up about their past and their feelings and she can’t comfort them, she can only tell them to be stronger because that’s all anyone ever told her. She falls in love with someone who betrays her because his whole life’s purpose is creating a future that she can’t exist in. She actively refuses to see her enemies as people because she couldn’t live with the choices she made if she stopped to think. She couldn’t even hang onto the love she had for her best friend, the one person she loved more than anyone and swore to always protect, because she is so consumed by rage and grief and despair that in the end, she kills both him and herself.

The tragedy of Fang Runin is that she was never allowed to have a heart so she stopped considering having one to be a possibility. Everyone around her told her that her life is not her own and no one gave her a chance to be anything but a peasant or a soldier. Peasants and soldiers don’t have the privilege of love and safety and comfort. Rin’s birthright is anger and violence. And that is what kills her.

#the poppy war #honorable mentions: rin deciding not to save kesegi because she can’t justify saving one person over the fate of nikan #fang runin #also rin having a fat crush on altan only for her to haunt her and she has to kill him in her mind to find some semblance of sanity #also never having sex because she would lose all respect of her troops if she did #also never getting to know her heritage #your war crimes are atrocious but understandable. how could you have done anything else #r f kuang

How the hell do you ever recover from TPW

#r f kuang #the poppy war #the dragon republic #the burning god #oh nezha

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT’S THE ENDING?? THAT’S IT??

#WHAT RHE FUCK WAS FHAT??#r f kuang #the burning god #hi currently crashing out #no giys this is insanw #i xanr even type like my hands are shaking

exulxnsis

Going into The Poppy War without knowing what to expect nearly killed me

exulxnsis

ahaha so that second book DID kill me..

#r f kuang #the poppy war #the dragon republic #what the actual fuck #no #how about no sorta thing #guys i actually cannot process that like i even stumbled upon spoilers and yet it still stumped me #fang runin #yin nezha #anyways kitay is just that guy

Going into The Poppy War without knowing what to expect nearly killed me

#the poppy war #fang runin #altan come back #now i understand the ten million trigger warnings #r f kuang

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