𝙲𝙰𝚂𝙴 𝙵𝙸𝙻𝙴 : 𝙽𝙴𝚁𝙴𝚈𝙴𝚅 ( teletaped )
@eyenoir gets some Jupeter Angst
“Juno, I’d rather like to be left alone right now, thank you.”
How he regrets giving Juno the access key to his room on the ship in that moment. Though they shared the room more often then not, he did wish for privacy sometimes. Like now. He does not turn towards the detective he loved so deeply. He’d rather he not see Peter like this. The mix of emotions he feels at the moment aches his soul. For future consideration – except there was nowhere to properly sort this information. Pilot was dead. They’d died painfully and alone in the Martian desert.
He has no doubt Pilot was deserving of such a fate. Juno was not the type to idly take life – intentionally or unintentionally – and Pilot was well. They were Pilot. Perhaps that’s what Peter had appreciated about them. Perhaps it was merely the fact they had kept Peter from a far worse fate. Perhaps it was that early in those rose-red hued mornings, with long fingers carding through his long hair, things had felt normal.
Perhaps it was the fact he never said a proper goodbye to them. He does not blame Juno. The detective had no way of knowing about him and Pilot. For better or worse, that was a secret Peter had intended to take to the grave with him. Unfortunately, the grave was not Peter’s, but Pilot’s.
“I didn’t love them, if that’s your concern. And we weren’t…” A sigh. “It was complicated.” Then, again, when had anything Peter Nureyev did been simple.
HE HADN’T MEANT TO SAY IT SO CASUALLY, hell if he’d known about pilot and nureyev’s . . . whatever they were he wouldn’t have said it. or maybe he could’ve been a little nicer about it instead of making an offhanded comment. it didn’t change anything at the end of the day, pereyra was dead, abandoned in the martian desert with a bullet wound and a handful of other wounds inflicted by the tests, by juno too, and ramses. he hadn’t thought about it, the idea that someone could actually have feelings for the ex mayor, that someone could see them as more than a crook. but everybody has someone, people are still . . . people, and that’s something juno has had to learn.
JUNO ENTERS CAUTIOUSLY, and maybe if the detective were a better person he’d let nureyev have time to grieve, maybe he’d take a page from buddy’s book and learn alone time was necessary sometimes. “ i know, i just . . . ” he’s not buddy, he lacks her cool resilience or her confidence or self control. he’s worried and that takes control of him before his brain can catch up, and he acts instead of thinking because how it looks right now is juno killed pereyra, and now he’s asking peter to pour his heart out about the guy he murdered. it was self defense, he wants to explain, but . . . it wasn’t, was it ? leaving them in the desert sun, leaving them under the harsh radiation to bleed out hadn’t been self defense. his throat is tight but the lady swallows that feeling, moving to sit cautiously beside the thief.
THE DETECTIVE TAKES A MOMENT, he listens and wonders and overthinks. because he’s been overthinking for so long it’s second nature, it fits just about as well as his skin, and there are days it’s uncomfortable, all that thinking, but this isn’t about him, or what he thinks. this is about nureyev, about being a good partner. “ it’s okay . . . if you did, i mean . . . if you loved them. ” he couldn’t blame nureyev for his feelings, if he had feeling for them. they both had skeletons in their closets, what did it matter if one just so happened to be falling for the mayor of mars ? “ or if it was complicated, or . . . do you . . . do you wanna talk about it ? ”
