withering away

• 21 | drunkorexia | cptsd | pro-recovery, not pro-4n4 | block, don’t report •

[f0r5v1nner]

a pin 4 my blog + stats <3

~ this is a trauma/ed blog. i have cptsd, addiction issues and other diagnoses so there’s a tw for sh/ed/trauma/dr*gs/alc0hol for this whole blog

~ i don’t interact with minors, pro self-dx, anti-recovery etc blogs

~ i’m super pro recovery and intend to recover in the future and urge others to do the same, but i’m too ill to be able to right now <3

my stats <3

height: 173cm/5’8”

sw/hw: 59kg/130lbs

cw: 55kg/120lbs

gw1: 57kg/125lbs

gw2: 55kg/120lbs

gw3: 52kg/115lbs

ugw: 50kg/110lbs

[f0r5v1nner]

does starving fvck up your metabolism? (+ how to not make that happen if it does)

yeah most definitely. when i’ve restricted a lot for a long period of time i usually plateau in terms of weight loss which is super frustrating. what you need to do in that case is take a few metabolism days to a week where you eat more than usual. so i usually try to eat like <1200 a day (if i eat less my brain is mush and i’m at uni so i just can’t uphold eating 300cal/day) and if i plateau i try to aim for like 1500-1800 a day for a few days.

it sounds scary and it really is but it is necessary to get your metabolism going again. if you don’t do this, you’ll have to either deal with the plateau or restrict even more which is dangerous. you will not gain weight from it, you might even lose a bit more weight at first.

stay safe <3

[f0r5v1nner]

i know this is an ED blog but please if any of y’all are bipolar can u send me tips on how to deal with it unmedicated cus i don’t have any meds or any psychiatric help rn and idk what to do i’m getting very desperate

i cant handle the mood swings and i’m getting scared/anxious/worried about it

[f0r5v1nner]

might just become orthorexic for shits n giggles. watch me work out til i cry everyday and live of off nothing but protein, avocado and carrots

[f0r5v1nner]

but hey at least i’m working out ig

[f0r5v1nner]

might just become orthorexic for shits n giggles. watch me work out til i cry everyday and live off of nothing but protein, avocado and carrots

[f0r5v1nner]

okay so ppl who take zyprexa (olanzapine) or other antipsychotics, how do you stop the weight gain? i’ve just been skipping my meds cus it makes me so hungry and i’d rather be thin and unhappy that stable and chubby……. i hate myself for it but ugh idk what to do. all tips are welcome

[f0r5v1nner]

making myself a margarita @ 3pm so i don’t off myself how’s y’all day going

[f0r5v1nner]

fuck counting fruit + veg calories like i’ve never seen a person gain massive amounts of weight from eating fruit/veg plus it has lots of water and vitamins. i don’t care, i will die on this hill

[f0r5v1nner]

haven’t been taking my antipsychotics cus then i can actually be productive but now i Want To Die so i’ve really shot myself in the foot rn ngl

take ur meds ppl

[f0r5v1nner]

i’m literally binging every day cus of zyprexa i feel so fucking badddddd

[f0r5v1nner]

looking forward to going in-patient tbh my friend who’s in there told me the food is atrocious so ima just live off of fruit and veggies fuck yeah

[f0r5v1nner]

bipolar update i stopped taking my ssri and am feeling better. got put on zyprexa tho so i’m soooo hungry don’t even wanna know how much i might gain ugh

[f0r5v1nner]

yeah

[f0r5v1nner]

i’m going insane

[f0r5v1nner]

update on the bipolar thing, my psychiatrist just confirmed/agreed i am bipolar. what the fuck is going on lmaooooo

[f0r5v1nner]

ya gurl just figured out that the meds i’m on cause weight loss/loss of appetite ?!?! win-win?

[f0r5v1nner]

Hello! Have you ever lost your period or stopped pooping for a long period? (2-3 weeks?) if so, what was your restrictions like?

TW numbers, parental abuse (nothing graphic)

i have! my periods have always been a mess either way (like bleeding. constantly for 2 months and then nothing for 6) so i’m not sure how much my ED influenced that. i mainly lost my hair and was constantly cold and bruised. this was back when i was like 100lbs/45kg and 5’7”/170cm when i was 12-15. back then i lived w my abusive parent and had to eat breakfast each day but i usually got away with eating half of it. i actually developed my ED bc my parent said i wasn’t eating enough and constantly berated me bc of it (and everything else) and so i just stopped eating all day (sometimes i’d have an apple at school) so that i’d be “hungry enough” by dinner. but as we all know it has the opposite effect long-term haha. right now i’m at a healthier weight (120lbs/55kg) and am mainly just cold and bruised. right now i only eat dinner bc im just really not that hungry either way so it’s not that hard i guess? i chew gum and drink sugar free energy drinks. oh and if i have to work (i work a physical job) i just have a protein shake in the morning and maybe smth small at lunch, but i don’t work daily so this doesn’t make me gain.

as for BM, i’ve never really had issues at all, i just have a zoloft/coffee/cigarette tummy (y’all know how it be) but i’ve never really dealt w constipation unless i’ve been travelling or living w my abuser (it causes food stress which in it’s turn makes me constipated).

this was a v lengthy answer, i hope u don’t mind!!