#alcoholism

[thjbbrwcky]

Honestly

THIS is me, talking to my “Higher Power.”

“Do The Next Right Thing” reverberating.

Sometimes, for me, the “next right thing” is having another drink. Because I can’t deal with Life on Life’s Terms.

Maybe I’m too weak.

Maybe I’m one of those unfortunates who cannot grasp a life of honesty.

I don’t know.

I don’t know.

[thatnewcarsmeli]

[thjbbrwcky]

you can tell i’m sufficiently inebriated when i start posting nothing but music

[girldecay]

and what if i never get sober

[dailybobzanotto]

fell asleep waiting for her to wake up

[roskapanda]

I don't know how to describe addiction to people who are NOT addicted to anything. Because even within addiction communities I see advice like "just get the mental strength to pass it, the WANT will naturally pass after 15 minutes!!" and... well, for me it doesn't. Sure, it does at some point but that is not 15 minutes from when it came to my mind. And it's also not counted in hours, it's counted in days.

And this is not only about things that are considered addictions, like alcohol and cigarettes. It also happens with pizza (for example). Yeah, you heard that right. The closest grocery store I have, the walk goes past the best local pizza place (out of the two lmao) and that is often IMPOSSIBLE to pass when I get the HUNGER. But pizza is only 13-16 euros, whereas an Alko run will be 25 euros, every single time. So it is sometimes just picking the smaller out of two evils.

...right?

Well, who knows. Today I went to Alko and not the pizza place and I'm writing this while getting slowly drunk. And saving just 10 euros feels small, doesn't it?

But consider this as something that happens about 8 to 14 times a month. Because THAT is what my addiction to alcohol looks like at it's worst. Sure, I cannot afford that level of alcoholism rn, BUT.

So yeah, I do think my uncontrolled hunger for pizza is related to my addictions and alcoholism. Because it doesn't go away in just 15 minutes or whatever.

[dailybobzanotto]

oh alcohol, I still drink to your health