I think Joe was exactly what Taylor needed in 2016. He was high above the all scene and she needed someone who's the furthest thing from the spotlight and the scrutiny and the drama, but she moved on, she changed and grew up and he didn't ("I knew you tried to change the ending, Peter losing Wendy"). It's great that he "didn't read into her melancholia" but he lacked empathy and understanding, and she was struggling and needed him to see her.
"Remember lookin' at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light" hearing this line after knowing they looked to buy a house together. I think she often looks back at it and sees it as symbolic. They were looking to build their relaionship and now all that's left of it is a dark, abaonded room.
I noticed you can hear her hearbeat during the bridge before she sings "I can't find a pulse" sickness is a theme in the song and it's almost like a patient telling the doctor they're dying and begging them to do something and the doctor just...doesn't. For such a long time he was her doctor, he was her lifeline, he brought her back to life and now her pain is an imposition to him. She was dying and he couldn't even tell and she was begging him to do something, say something, risk something, choose something. Choose her!
It's weird saying they "predicted their breakup" with exile, but I really think they were writing about their struggles in some way. Maybe they talked about it or maybe they both knew it was happening but chose to keep quiet. He missed all her signs and was surprised and distraught that she packed her bags and immediately moved to someone who's obsessed with her.
I listened to the song and immediately put hoax on repeat and I could write a thousand essays about hoax and renegade and cardigan and exile and now You're Losing Me. I also think with Midnights she was looking back at her old relationships in an attempt to fix that one. "How long could we be a sad song 'til we're too far gone to bring back to life?"
I don't want to villanlize Joe. Taylor baiscally said he struggled with his mental health but...she was trying so hard to be a fire to keep him warm, to make herself a place when there was nowhere to stay. She gave him her best, she gave him so much empathy and he didn't return it. "I tried to be the bravest soldier, fighting in your only army" after The Great War is devastating. She put so much effort to work on her trust issues and communicate to save them but then she realised she was the only one fighting.
I don't want to villanize him, but "don't you ignore me. I'm the best thing at this party" sure does make me very mad.
"I wouldn't marry me either, a pathological people pleaser" was a punch to the gut. I want to hug her so bad. I don't want this to be used as a "gotcha" moment but I wonder if she looks at Lavender Haze a little different and if maybe she tried to convince herself she was unbothered because he wasn't willing to commit. It does seem like he has an indecisive nature, whereas she knows what she wants. Maybe she wanted people to stop talking about them marrying because it was a soft spot. You really should mind your business because you never know what someone else is going through.
She's such a mirrorball, a mastermind. All she wants is to be wanted and loved and she would do anything for the people she loves. She would've done anything for him.
