Ik there's theories about the 6th li and from what I'VE seen or have come across is
Red head with gold/amber eyes
The Ceo
Viper
Now, I personally believe that the 6th if and when they introduce him, Will have red hair because honestly that would make sense (Not counting the eyes rn cause thats a known fact already) And I would also like to believe because of this that it'd be more believable that'd it be the Ceo & not Viper, Which leads it to MY personal theory
Most either believe he's the 6th or not due to the fact that he wears a ring- But! Let's remember, this is lads, All of our current Boys are possessive, stalkers & madly in love with us/mc, you don't think they have (Not counting the wedding banner) a ring waiting and ready? Come on now
Now this is what I think would go down in his myth(s):
Obviously 6th li(Ceo) & MC are in love or fall in love some way or form, One of them or both are set to marry someone else, Neither wants this blah blah blah myth shenanigans happen, At one point either Him or MC make/have a ring with them, Either MC or 6 hands over the ring, a Symbol of their love and what could/should've been, a bit more of Myth Shenanigans happen and then it turns out one (and or both) has to or will die (MC most likely) sum more myth shit happens and MC does die (going w her based off all the previous myths) MC hands over the ring to 6, She tells him to keep it safe & that she loves him, 6 as she dies, Swears to find her again and again for however long and be with her in another life, Myth ends thats done
Now, Again this is my theory and how I imagine it going down if ceo is the 6th:
Let's say for whatever reason like Zayne, He doesn't remember his past lives but he does remember the Ring "why this ring?" "Why is it important?" "who do i have to give it to?" Hence, in every past life he Recreates the ring based off how he remembers/Dreams it, And each time he meets this girl (MC) and "Oh! It's for you, your the love of my life" past live shit happens yk how it is and in each one similar to Sylus (& Raf?) He tires to Wife MC up, In some he can others he can't for whatever reason
But if he does remember each life, he still Recreates the ring, he does everything more of less the same up until their current lives
1. He doesn't remember or 2. he does but he still makes the ring like in every life time, He somehow, sees MC or hears of her and investigates, finds out and oh! Its her again, So he tires to get close to Raf to take him out or whatever (I haven't seen the part where The CEO & Raf speak, Going off from what ik) He finds out Xavier also works AND lives close to her, starts doing what he can to take him out, Hence the collar, He sabotages the others in any way or form so he's the only one left because 1. "why are they after her? Who even are they? She's mine" or 2. "I've gone thru many lives, And now there's more? Nah she's gonna be with me"
And from the little of what I know of the ceo, He's aiming for control which would make sense if he was/would be sabotaging the others, And the ring in this life time isn't a Symbol of love per say but a Symbol of when, He already knows where she's at and is just waiting so "when" it'll happen is just a matter of time cause if he's a grasping for control type of character then he'll wife MC up 1st chance he gets & in his mentally lets say he just has to have her with him by any means
I'd also like to add on how he was "introduced" We never see his face, just his shoulders down, He already has a rivalry/is against Raf, So the li being opposites to each other is set and done if its CEO as the 6th and for Viper? He was drawn, we see his face, not his voice but we know what he's doing (kinda) and what his deal is, Infold is vague with the li, Even for Caleb when he was originally introduced we knew him but he was given an model....as is the ceo and not Viper...for Sylus, we knew OF him but nothing more, Idk if MC knows of him (The Ceo) already, Correct me if im wrong, But if she does and she sees him as an issue she'll investigate similar to how she started to how she did it was Sylus
But there are ppl saying "how could she fall in love with a guy like that" GANG how could she "realistically" fall in love with ANY of them?? :/ like maybe he was different from then to now idk but Again this is my theory, And what I think would happen if the ceo was/turned out to be the 6th li but then again, Infold is vague asf and we never really know so it could be a completely different guy
Warm laughter in the kitchen. Arms around your waist while you are trying to do something. Stolen kisses. Teasing. Comfort. The kind of love that feels easy even when life is difficult.
Caleb loves loudly compared to the others.
Not necessarily with grand gestures all the time, but with openness. With presence. With the constant reminder that you are loved every single day.
Marriage with him feels like:
coming home and immediately being happier because he is there.
He Absolutely Adores Calling You “My Wife”
This man abuses the privilege immediately.
Constantly.
“That is my wife.”
“Have you met my wife?”
“My wife made this.”
“My wife is prettier than all of you, actually.”
Completely shameless.
And every single time he says it, he sounds proud.
Husband Caleb Is Extremely Affectionate
There is no such thing as personal space anymore.
You are getting:
hugs from behind
random kisses
hand holding
forehead nudges
him flopping dramatically onto you when tired
If you walk past him?
He is touching you somehow.
He Makes Home Feel Warm
With Caleb, home becomes alive.
Music playing.
Food cooking.
His laughter from another room.
You hearing him call your name just because he wants your attention.
Everything feels softer when he is around.
He Loves Domestic Life More Than He Expected
Caleb genuinely enjoys doing mundane things with you.
Especially:
grocery shopping
cooking together
late night snack runs
decorating for holidays
arguing playfully over what to watch
He makes ordinary moments feel important.
He Is Protective But Playful About It
Most of the time, his protectiveness comes out as teasing.
“Careful.”
“You are banned from hurting yourself.”
“Do you know how expensive hospital bills are?”
But when something actually happens to you?
The humour disappears instantly.
And that change is terrifying.
He Worries Constantly
Even if he hides it behind smiles.
texts to make sure you got home
reminders to eat
checking if you slept enough
asking about your day in detail
He notices more than people think.
Especially when it comes to you.
He Loves Physical Closeness While Sleeping
Caleb is absolutely the type to:
pull you against him
wrap himself around you
complain if you get out of bed too early
Half asleep:
“Come back.”
And somehow you always do.
Husband Caleb Is Your Biggest Hype Man
This man supports you aggressively.
You mention a goal once and suddenly he is:
encouraging you constantly
bragging about you to others
reminding you how capable you are
No one believes in you louder than Caleb does.
He Is Surprisingly Soft After Arguments
Arguments hit him harder than he lets on.
He hates distance between you.
Even if he is frustrated, he still:
checks if you ate
asks if you got home safely
hovers nearby
And eventually?
He always comes back softer.
“I do not like fighting with you.”
He Secretly Loves Married Routines
Things he pretends not to care about but absolutely does:
wearing matching rings
shared closets
your things mixed with his
introducing you as his spouse
hearing you call him “husband”
It makes him ridiculously happy.
He Gets Jealous More Easily Than He Admits
Not toxic jealousy.
But visible jealousy.
pouting
clinging more
interrupting conversations to steal your attention
If someone flirts with you too much?
Suddenly his arm is around your shoulders.
“Sorry,” he says casually. “Married.”
The smug smile afterward is unbearable.
He Loves Making You Laugh
One of Caleb’s favourite sounds is your laughter.
He will:
tease you
tell terrible jokes
act dramatic on purpose
Just to hear it.
And if you laugh really hard?
He looks at you like he just won something.
Sick Days With Husband Caleb
He becomes unbearably attentive.
making soup
piling blankets on you
checking your forehead every ten minutes
dramatically accusing you of “betraying your immune system”
But underneath the teasing?
He is genuinely worried.
He stays close the entire time.
Underneath Everything…
Caleb loves with his whole heart.
Openly.
Warmly.
Without hesitation.
Marriage with him feels like:
safety
laughter
loyalty
being adored every day without doubt
The kind of love that fills every corner of your life until you cannot imagine loneliness anymore.
You had made a mistake. The mistake being having ordered more Lumiere merchandise and forgetting to schedule it on a day where your boyfriend wouldn’t be home.
So here you were now, sitting beside a very sulky Xavier as you tried to cheer him up, but nothing seemed to work.
“Oh c’mon Xavier, its just merch, Lumiere is just, he is just so adorable.”
Wrong move, all that earned you was a deeper frown and an even more prominent pout from your boyfriend who just crossed his arms and looked away.
What a baby.
Fuck, he was so cute.
You try your very best not to show him how excited this adorable behavior of his got you as you come closer, and obviously he doesn't move away.
Xavier loved you. He loved everything about you. If anyone asked him what his favorite thing in the world was his answer would be immediate.
You.
You on the other hand didn’t seem to share the same feelings as him, because clearly you loved someone much more than him, that thought only makes the silver haired man frown even more.
“Xavier please. Stop sulking.” You truly wanted your boyfriend to stop being sad, but if anyone peeled the truth out of you, they would know that deep down you wanted him to continue on and act even more spoiled.
And that’s exactly what he does. Gosh he was truly so lovely.
With a side glance at you he speaks up. “If it were Lumiere who was sulking you probably would be kissing him and telling him how he is the best.” He juts out his lip and you stop yourself from biting it.
You smile, a mischievous idea coming to you.
With a nod you lean your body closer at first, your voice dropping to a sultry tone. “Yes, Lumiere is the best.” You watch as he looks at you with faux anger as you slowly straddle his hips.
Even with his sulking he doesn’t shy away from putting his hands firmly on the sides of your waist, squeezing as you settle yourself on his lap. His blue eyes grow dark as you smile down at him. Even in his frustration he cannot hide his utter devotion to you.
“Lumiere is the best.” You repeat, now leaning closer. Your lips brushing against his ear as you whisper your next sentence. “But Shen Xinghui is my favorite.”
Oh.
Oh.
You cannot even let out the giggle that was bubbling out of you that you are cut off by a rough kiss. Xavier’s hand coming to the back of your head and pressing your hard against him, not letting you escape. Not like you wanted to. You just melt against the large man and let him take what he wants.
He only breaks the kiss when you tap him for air.
Fuck he was so pretty, cheeks flushed, lips pink and swollen from kissing you, and light silver hair mussed from where you had pulled during your makeout.
However the cutest part were the little light particles that were floating around him, betraying his true feelings even if he was still frowning at you.
So he was no longer mad huh.
“Say it again.” He demands, and you giggle.
“You can’t fool me, I know my pretty boy is no longer mad, he is glowing like the brightest of stars right now.” You giggle and he pouts, burying his face in your neck.
“Shen Xinghui will always be my favorite. No one could ever replace him.” You say, kissing the top of his head.
When he looks up you think you fall in love with him all over again, the most happy hopeful look has taken over the features of your lover and you wonder. Would a spring wedding be better or an autumn one?
Aight folks, first time posting on tumblr, kinda need more xavier fics
oh god I have more thoughts with dragon!sylus and merman!rafayel...
♱⋅── nearly 2k of absolute monsterfucking filth
♱⋅── MDNI WARNINGS: pwp, cw monsterfucking, overstimulation, oral, uhh eggs mentioned, sylus (double d, marking, fighting as foreplay, freakishly long tongue,) rafayel (double d, thalassophobia, dubious consent, cw breeding). inspiration from this post by @mintmatcha, photo credit to @xxsyluslittlecrowxx
dragon!sylus
what is a dragon if not power incarnated? as such their mate needs to hold that same fire within them.
as it gets closer to the rare season when dragons can actually mate, you find that your little arguments and snappy comebacks make sylus pause, wings twitching as he simply watches you with a crooked, fanged smile. a worthy mate snarls, pushes back, bares their teeth despite knowing they are smaller. a good sign indeed.
sylus brings back larger and larger kills, watching you roast them over the fire as he looms behind you, purring in contentment when you lean back against him, nestled perfectly underneath his bulky, scaled form.
you have been saying yes for months. your raised chin. your easy sleep against his warmth. Your exposed throat, your racing pulse, the way you reach for him without thinking, the way your heart rate climbs in his presence and you do not run from it. he knows your body is not deceiving him, he knows that you are ready.
sylus doesn’t want to scare his poor human mate, but if you’re to take his clutch and raise his brood, then you’ll need to be prepped. no worries, he’s more than happy to make sure your body is able to withstand the mating ritual, even if you haven’t realized what you’ve agreed to. but surely you want this right? all of your preening, your increased heart rate around him, you willingness to show him your neck and exposed belly. you want this.
during the late hours of the night when you’re already half asleep you’ll sometimes feel his fangs bite—ever so gently, just enough to leave an indent for now—into the crook of your shoulder or plush of your hips or thighs, something deep and ancient rumbling in sylus’ chest as he pulls away, letting his rough, forked tongue lave over the raw marks.
not even a week after it turns possessive, sylus pinning your sleeping body to the floor of your shared nest as his massive wings surround the two of you, rutting the swollen heads of both his cocks between your ass as you whine in your sleep, unaware of the way sylus begins to lick and nip at the back of your neck, practically drooling at the thought of finally sinking his teeth there. soon.
he’s not as careful as he could have been, sloppy in his desperation, and one night you wake to him above you, his clawed hand pinning down the small of your back as the other is four knuckles deep in your soaked pussy.
“sy-” a moan, and you thrash despite yourself, completely immobile under his weight. “sylus, what the fuck are y-oooh- you doing?”
you’re gasping, keening as you’re feeling yourself regain consciousness and rise towards another orgasm.
sylus doesn’t even act like he’s noticed you’ve awoken, narrow-slitted gaze completely focused on the stretch of your cunt as he forces his clawed thumb in as well, spreading you wide despite your protests.
god, you have no idea how long he’s been at this, but you’re soaked enough to have already cum twice, pussy throbbing and sore from his relentless ministrations.
in a flash of anger and embarrassment, you blindly kick out behind you. your heel strikes sylus’ shoulder, and he freezes with a low, thunderous growl, glowing red eyes locking with yours. he doesnt budge.
his tongue briefly flashes across the wide expanse of his fangs.
“again.”
his nose drags along the back of your neck, inhaling deeply, the pinpricks of his teeth gliding against the delicate skin making your skin crawl. “my feisty little human, always fighting back, always demanding.”
a pleased growl vibrates through him.
“good mate.”
before you can even question what he means, his fingers pry you apart with more force than before, allowing your juices to trickle down his scaled arm as they stretch you out just enough so he can lean down, licking a long, wet strip up your pussy. Circling your clit once, twice, before dragging all the way up until his draconic tongue curls inside your cunt.
You buck against sylus’ face despite yourself, sleep drained from you as your back arches violently at the intrusion, screaming at the delicious press of the long, long muscle writhing against your gummy, sensitive walls. too much, too much!
too bad the sight of you fighting him only makes it worse.
the dragon’s instincts completely take over, and your refusal to take sylus’ eggs unless he proves himself worthy isn't the resistance you think it is. it speaks to the fire raging in every dragon’s heart, a wordless acceptance of his ritual as you challenge him, and you force him to show you he deserves it.
and he will show you.
sylus’ wings spread. his fanged smile does too.
the clawed apex of his wings comes to your shoulder blades, pushing your upper body against the floor as he drags your ass further up, giving him even easier access as he rips the rest of your nightgown, burying his face into your open, sloppy pussy. your struggle is futile against your dragon, and as soon as your whines turn into moans sylus knows you are ready.
his fingers thrust back in, careful so his claws don't scratch you even as all five spread you out, knuckle deep, tongue now flicking against the entrance of your cervix, leaving his saliva's natural relaxant until he feels your cunt loosen around him. your poor pussy is drooling around his tongue, sylus greedily swallowing everything he can as his claws force you into a deeper arch, tongue somehow getting longer as you babble incoherently into the floor.
"good girl," sylus purrs, the low sound humming from his lips and into you, deep and loud enough to echo up your spine as you sob from the vibrations. "good mate, accepting me. accepting my brood, my eggs."
you panic despite yourself, shaking your head and bucking your hips even though you could barely feel anything between your thighs except for overwhelming, numbing pleasure. "e-eggs? no, no..."
"shhh, fight and i'll make it hurt more than you want it to."
sylus' tongue finally curls out of you and you moan, the rough length tracing the sweat-slicked arch of your spine as he mounts you, wings cocooning the two of you in as you feel the unmistakable pressure of both his cock heads press against your numb entrance.
his fangs bite into the back of your neck, claiming you as he breaks skin, feeling the sweet scent of your blood coat his fangs as he purrs.
"you've fought well, now take everything I give you."
merman!rafayel
rafayel is the storm, all tempest and raging waters, ancient as the ocean itself, so his choice in bride is not one he’s taken lightly. after all, that would make you a goddess, and your heirs next to rule the sea.
he’s already brought you to lemuria in preparation for your betrothal ceremony, merfolk blessing this brave human vessel who will bear their future, all while you laughed and swam among them with a smile rafayel will paint again and again in reverence. the merfolk never ask if you’re staying. they ask what you need, what you’d like, as if the staying is already settled and only the comfort remains to be arranged.
there’s no need to worry you with the specifics of the ceremony. after all, he is now your god, your mate, it is his duty to worry about the specifics of consummation while you simply enjoy connecting with his world, his people. your people now.
it complicates things when you begin asking to go back to the surface, but rafayel is always gentle with you, taking you back to your old world when you ask, never quite letting you out of his sight before coaxing you back into the ocean.
and when you hesitate? he sings. a siren song, his webbed hand outstretched as he draws you to the beach again, cold water splashing at your ankles but your body unaffected as the lullaby weaves into your brain, soothing, loving, drawing you closer and closer still. you walk into the water smiling and he is already there, waiting, like he knew the exact moment your feet would find the shore.
after all, rafayel can’t have you running away again. you are lemuria’s queen now. you were their goddess the moment he decided you were, which was long before this ceremony, which was perhaps before you were born, which is the sort of thing he will tell you gently, later, when the permanence of it has had time to feel like home.
you don’t remember swimming out to the middle of the ocean. the waves are calm, a deep endless blue all around you as your kicking limbs all disappear into their depths. something brushes up against you. first, a scrape on your calf, circling you, but there is nowhere to hide. scales, rough and cold, wind against your legs, an even colder pair of arms wrapping around your waist as your body is completely ensnared in his tail. “shhh, I won’t hurt you cutie.” and then the song starts, and you forget once again.
you awake with sand under your skin and the soft lapping of waves, but there is no beach in sight.
no, it is just you and jagged rocks surrounding you. the waves are only the calm lapping of the pool in the center of the gilded cave, the one and only exit leading deep into the water, and lemurian territory.
your mating cove has been in preparation for months. the merfolk decorate it as they would a temple, soft things dragged in from shipwrecks, sea glass worn smooth, bioluminescent moss cultivated specifically for warmth and light. every piece chosen with the future queen in mind, and their future heirs. for your stay here is mandatory until the sea god’s brood takes. but surely you already knew this when you agreed to be his mate?
“what do you think, cutie?” a splash, and rafayel surfaces into your cove, razor-thin fangs gleaming up at you as he takes in the sight of you kneeling before the altar of his people. “not bad for a species of artists.”
“rafayel,” your voice is trembling, and he immediately coos at you. “please, take me back to shore. to land.”
you keep pleading, but the sea god ignores your cries. that isn’t what you want anymore silly, can’t you see? you’re the bride of the sea god, the next mother of tides, what your body and mind crave now is him. fully, completely. your poor human biology wants to stop you from fulfilling your role, but it’s okay. rafayel is more than happy to mate you as many times as you need for it to take.
he sings, hauling himself up to the sandy bank of the cave as his voice coaxes you into the water, bare legs splashing into the pool beside him as the first few feet of his enormous tail drag up onto the sand. soft, pillowy, a good bed to take you without risk of injury.
rafayel has done all your human rites of marriage, now it is time for you to do his.
once again you find yourself restrained underneath his powerful tail, your upper body still thankfully resting on the solid ground, but hips and under dragged into the pool as rafayel looms above you, squeezing and coiling his tail around your legs.
“t-tight, you’re squeezing me raf–” your legs thrash, however in doing so you only end up straddling the thick expanse of his tail, a low chirping sound echoing from deep within rafayel’s throat as he feels your wet, soft heat grind against him.
as soon as he feels you rub against the slit of his tail he keens, thrusting forward as the weight of all ten feet of him pins you down onto the sand.
“impatient,” rafayel laughs, and you tremble despite yourself at the sudden sharpness of his teeth. “don’t worry cutie, i’m impatient too.”
you feel it then, something protruding out from the slit as he continues to grind against you, the rhythm of the waves helping him forward and back, reaching a webbed hand down as you feel something curve and grow against the entire length of your stomach.
panic, red-hot and violent, seizes you as you look down to see his cock-no, two of them-lying side by side against your sternum, one already leaking copious amounts of slime-like substance on your skin while the other appears almost barbed, swollen and impossibly heavy at the shaft.
“shh, it’s okay.” rafayel is already soothing you, voice a melodic lullaby as he gently guides your chin up to look at him, just focus on him, don’t worry your pretty little head about making them fit. that’s his job. “that’s it baby, relax. sweet thing, beautiful mate, you’ll be the perfect host for my clutch, won’t you?”
you can only nod.
rafayel preps you for one at a time, his bigger cock already drooling relaxant all over your thighs and cunt as he grinds it over your little clit, allowing the head to hit it several times, your body becoming more and more pliant as he spreads the gentle venom. as soon as your soft breaths turn to moans he knows you’re ready, and drags you just a bit further into the water, enough so one powerful thrust is enough to have his first cock rammed right into your sweet spot.
it’s white-hot pleasure, your cries broken by a sob as rafayel speeds up, restless as he feels you tighten around him, cunt sucking him in further, accepting his first knot, driving him fucking insane with the way your moans sing to him like a mating song.
you’re perfect, already cumming around him as he feels his second knot swell, the pressure of his eggs rising as his instincts beg him to finish claiming you as his own. soon. soon, he can’t rush your poor, delicate human body, he can't risk breaking you.
the slight prick of fangs against your nipple makes you arch off the sand. it’s all too much, the feeling of being so impossibly full, rafayel’s tongue laving and squeezing your chest, his fingers thumbing at your clit and prodding at your already-full entrance, it all has you dizzy with need.
“more,” you’re begging in spite of yourself and your fear. “please, more.”
of course your god will provide.
the muscle relaxant his first cock has been pumping out has swelled within you, and with his spare hand he can begin to finger you open alongside his knot, curling against all the spots he knows make you sing. he then lines his second cock up with your entrance, and begins to push.
you whine, fighting it, hips bucking wildly, but the sheer weight of his tail keeps you pinned. the second cock is thicker than the first, rigid as it catches onto your fluttering entrance and squeezes past the first knot, copious amounts of his relaxant and your juices squirting onto your thighs and into the ocean. rafayel hums sweet nothings, petting you to soothe you, lips going back to swirl and bite at your nipples as you cum for him once more. he squeezes your breasts and wonders if you’ll still produce milk if you don’t have human babies. he hopes you do.
“pretty mate,” a low clicking sound, almost like whalesong fills the cave. he’s close. “wife, all mine. mine, all mine again.” rafayel gasps as his cock bullies yet another inch in, his egg sack bloated and heavy, waiting to be given to a worthy mate, and yet stuck until he can force the last few inches of his knot inside you.
desperate, a powerful slap of his tail drives him forward, slamming his hips into yours as both knots force their way into your cunt. the waves roar, spraying against the cave's walls as your vision whites out.
the pressure and stretch are overwhelming as you sob into the sand, cries turning into moans as rafayel’s fingers never ease up on your clit, numbness seizing your lower half as rafayel’s entire body begins to convulse with the press of the first egg into your womb.
⚜ cw: fem!reader, non-mc reader, historical au, earl!caleb, governess!reader, mei (mc) is caleb's younger sister, age gap, class difference, mutual pinning, angst, misunderstandings, found family, second chances, eventual happy ending, possibly ooc caleb, historical inaccuracies, unbeta'd, unedited.
⚜ part one ⮚ part two ⮚ lads masterlist
you meet caleb xia when you are twenty-two, standing in the entrance hall of xia estate with your worn traveling case and a letter of introduction from an agency in linkon that specializes in desperate young women with nowhere else to go.
you learn that he is an earl who inherited too young. his parents died in an accident three years ago and left him with a crumbling estate, a grieving sister, and debts the agency did not see fit to mention to you. he is also a businessman of some reputation, the xia’s noble name still carries weight in linkon's trading houses, even if that weight is increasingly borrowed against future earnings.
he is not the distant aristocrat you braced yourself for.
instead you find a man who looks exhausted, who has ink on his fingers and a ledger tucked under his arm, who stands with the rigid posture of someone holding himself together through sheer will. there is still road dust on his coat, like he came straight from a meeting in the city without stopping to change.
after the short introduction you exchange, he immediately tells you of your charge and warns you that his sister has gone through seven governesses in two years.
mei xia is twelve years old and has not smiled in so long her brother can’t remember what it looks like. lord caleb tells you he doesn't know what he is doing wrong but everything is clearly wrong and he is failing her.
he says this last part quietly, shame coloring his features.
your predecessors all left. some in tears, some in fury, one simply vanished in the middle of the night, giving up her wages to escape.
no one wants to teach a child the county whispers about. she is disturbed, they say, unmanageable and possibly dangerous.
but you need this position desperately.
your father died eight months ago.
the illness took him slowly, ate through what little money you had left on physicians who could do nothing. his friends, the ones who dined at your table when he was wealthy, vanished when the money did.
some of their sons appeared afterward, not even waiting for you to grieve properly, and made offers that had nothing to do with marriage. you chose being a governess in a household with a supposedly mad child over every one of those offers.
lord caleb does not send for a servant, he leads you to the schoolroom himself. he tells you a bit about the household and you notice the way his jaw tightens when he mentions his sister's name.
he loves her, that much is clear.
he is also terrified he is losing her.
mei is waiting in the schoolroom with her arms crossed and murder in her eyes.
she is small for a child of twelve and beautiful like her brother. her dress is expensive silk but wrinkled, like she dressed herself and no one dared correct her. her hair is pulled back severely. everything about her screams control except her eyes.
they are purple like her brother's, and where caleb's eyes hold despair and exhaustion, mei's are wild with grief and rage, and what you think is fear.
she doesn't acknowledge you nor does she look at her brother.
caleb introduces you anyway, his voice gentle. he tells mei he hopes she'll give you a chance. he knows things have been difficult but he needs her to try.
mei stares out the window as if he hasn't spoken at all.
you see the moment it breaks him, the way his shoulders curve inward just slightly, how he reaches toward her and then stops himself, hand falling uselessly to his side. he has done this before and he knows she won't accept his touch.
"i have to return to linkon tomorrow," he says quietly. "i'll write to you like always."
mei's jaw tightens but she says nothing.
caleb looks at you then, and you see the silent plea in his violet eyes.
save her, please, i don't know how but please try.
then he is gone.
you are left standing in the silent schoolroom with a child who won't look at you and a task that feels impossible.
your life as mei xia's governess begins.
she ignores you for five days straight.
she doesn't touch the books you set out, respond to your questions, nor eat the meals brought to the schoolroom unless you leave the room entirely.
you don't force her.
you just show up every morning, sit at the desk. read aloud from whatever book you brought. talk to her even when she pretends you don't exist.
on the sixth day, you find her trying to pick the lock on the schoolroom door that leads towards the gardens with a hairpin.
you don't scold her, instead you sit on the floor beside the door and pull out a hairpin of your own.
"the trick is to feel for the mechanism," you say quietly, demonstrating. "there, like that."
mei stares at you for the first time since you arrived, her brows furrowed.
you hand her a different pin and show her the angle. she tries again and the lock clicks open.
"why would you teach me that?" her voice is hoarse from disuse.
"because sometimes we need to know we can leave," you say. "even if we choose to stay."
she doesn't speak again for the rest of the day but the next morning she is sitting at the desk when you arrive. waiting.
you don't mention it and simply open the first book and begin to read aloud.
she still doesn't participate, but she listens.
it is a start.
the breakthrough comes three weeks later.
it is the anniversary of the accident, the day caleb and mei's parents died three years ago.
you find mei in the garden at dawn, standing in front of two stone markers. she is still in her nightgown, barefoot in the frost-covered grass. she is not crying. she is just standing there, frozen, like if she doesn't move then time won't move either and she won't have to face another year without them.
you don't ask what she is doing, you simply walk up beside her and stand in the silence.
minutes pass and the sun rises higher, you can see your breath in the cold air.
"he promised he'd be here," mei says finally, her voice is small and broken. "caleb. he promised he'd come home for today, but there was a meeting in linkon he couldn't miss. he sent a letter instead."
she pulls a crumpled paper from her nightgown pocket.
"he's always somewhere else," mei continues, and now there is anger threading through the grief. "always at some warehouse or trading house or on some road between here and linkon. always writing letters instead of being here. mother and father died and he left me, he just left."
"he had to return to his business," you say gently.
"he didn't have to, he chose to." mei's hands are fists at her sides. "he could've stayed here for today, but he didn't want to. he didn't want to stay with me."
"that isn't true."
"then why does he keep leaving?" her voice breaks,"everyone leaves. mother and father died. caleb goes away for weeks and months. the governesses all run away. everyone leaves and i'm always alone."
your hear breaks at the devastation in her voice.
"i'm not going anywhere," you tell her.
"you will," mei says flatly, and she sounds so much older than twelve. "everyone does."
"i have nowhere else to go," you say, and it is honest enough that mei turns to look at you fully. "i have no family, no home, and no prospects. this position is all i have so no, i'm not leaving. you're stuck with me."
"you promise?" she asks, and you see the hope and fear in her eyes.
you know you should not make promises you cannot guarantee, but this child needs something to hold onto.
"i promise."
mei's face crumples.
she throws herself into your arms and sobs. you sink to your knees in the frost-covered grass and hold her while she cries for her parents, for her absent brother, for the loneliness that has been eating her alive for three years.
when the sobs finally subside into hiccups, mei pulls back just enough to look at you.
"i miss them," she whispers. "i miss them so much and no one will let me talk about them. the servants get sad. caleb gets this look on his face like i'm hurting him. everyone wants me to stop being sad but i can't. i can't."
"then don't," you say simply. "be sad. be angry. feel whatever you need to feel. i'll sit with you through all of it."
mei stares at you like you have said something revolutionary.
"really?"
"really."
she hugs you again, tighter this time. and when you both finally go back inside, her small hand is clutching yours like a lifeline.
after that, everything changes.
mei talks to you now.
about her parents and her lessons and the book she is reading and everything and nothing. she does her work, eats her meals, and laughs sometimes, a sound so unexpected that the first time you hear it you nearly drop the book you're holding.
the household staff notice.
mrs. jiang, the housekeeper, starts bringing tea to the schoolroom without being asked, the expensive kind from the earl's private stock, with small cakes she claims are "leftovers from the kitchen that would just go to waste."
liam, the butler, stops you in the corridor one morning.
"the young miss seems much improved," he tells you. "the staff are grateful, miss. it has been difficult, seeing her suffer so."
you don't know what to say to that so you tell him that you are just the governess and you are just doing your job.
but liam smiles, small and genuine.
"you are good for her and for this household. we're glad you stayed."
annie, one of the younger maids, is more direct. she appears in the schoolroom one afternoon with fresh flowers for the desk.
"from the garden," she says cheerfully. "mrs. jiang said you might like them. we all think you're lovely, miss. the way you are with little miss mei. she adores you, anyone can see it."
you start to understand that you have been accepted here, absorbed into this household and the knowledge makes your chest feel warm and tight at the same time.
these people care about mei, and because you care about mei, they care about you.
it is the closest thing to family you have had since your father died.
caleb returns home six weeks later.
you are in the garden with mei, working on botany lessons, when you hear the commotion. servants rushing toward the front of the estate. mei's head snaps up.
"caleb," she breathes, and then she is running.
you follow more slowly, not wanting to intrude on their reunion, but when you round the corner to the front drive you stop.
caleb xia is stepping down from his carriage, still in his city clothes, tired from the road. and mei has launched herself at him with such force that he staggers backward, laughing as he catches her.
laughing.
you have never heard him laugh before. it transforms his entire face, makes him look younger, less burdened. he is swinging mei around like she weighs nothing, and she is giggling, and for a moment they are just a brother and a sister who have missed each other desperately.
when caleb sets mei down, his hands on her shoulders, you see him look at her. taking in the color in her cheeks, the light in her eyes, the fact that she is smiling at him.
"you look well," he says, and his voice is rough with emotion.
"i'm well," mei replies,"i have been doing my lessons and reading and…" she stops, turns as though looking for someone until her eyes land on you, standing half-hidden by the garden hedge. "come here, miss."
you should not, this is a family moment, but mei is gesturing insistently and now caleb is looking at you too.
you walk forward on unsteady legs.
caleb's eyes find yours and you find yourself breathless at what's in them. he is looking at you like you have given him back something precious beyond measure.
"my lord," you say quietly, dropping into a curtsy. "welcome home."
"you did this," it isn't a question. "you brought her back."
"i did nothing, mei did the work herself."
"she did the work because you gave her a reason to." a pause. "i don't know how to thank you."
"you don't need to thank me. this is my position, my duty."
"it's more than that," he says quietly. "and we both know it."
you are acutely aware of mei watching you both with bright, curious eyes.
you step back to create a proper distance.
"i should return to the schoolroom, i need to prepare for tomorrow's lessons."
you flee before he can respond.
behind you, you hear mei's voice, excited and chattering, telling her brother everything she's learned in the past six weeks. and underneath it, barely audible, you hear caleb's response.
"tell me about her, what is she like?"
you keep walking, but you hear mei's answer anyway.
"she's wonderful and the best person in the whole world. i love her."
and caleb's soft reply.
"i can see why."
caleb stays for four days before returning to linkon.
four days during which he finds reasons to visit the schoolroom that have nothing to do with checking on mei's progress.
the first time, he brings a book from his library. a natural history text with beautiful illustrations that he thought might be useful for lessons. he stays for an hour, sitting in the corner while you teach, watching with an intensity that makes your hands unsteady when you turn the pages.
the second time, he arrives during mei's drawing lesson. she is sketching the garden from the window. caleb stands behind her chair, offering gentle advice, his hand covering hers to show her how to angle the pencil for shading. then he moves to where you are sitting, correcting arithmetic problems from yesterday.
"may i?" he asks quietly, gesturing to the empty chair beside you.
you nod because you can't trust your voice.
he sits close enough that you can smell the soap he uses, close enough that when he leans over to look at mei's work, his shoulder brushes yours.
"she's improved remarkably," he murmurs. "in everything. her penmanship, her mathematics, even her watercolors. how did you do it?"
"i did nothing. i simply gave her time and patience."
"the others didn't."
"then they were foolish." you keep your eyes on the papers in front of you. "miss mei is brilliant, she just needed someone to see it."
"you see her," caleb says. "really see her. not the grief or the anger or the difficulty. just her."
you do look at him then, it is a mistake.
he is watching you with an expression that is far too open, far too warm.
"someone needed to," you say quietly.
"i should have been the one to…" he stops. his jaw tightens. "i failed her. left her alone in this house with her grief and expected her to simply carry on."
"you did what you thought was right. you had duties and responsibilities."
"i had a sister who needed me more than any business in linkon did."
the pain in his voice makes you brave enough to do something reckless. you reach out and touch his hand where it rests on the table, just briefly, barely a touch at all.
"you're here now," you say. "that's what matters."
his hand turns under yours, catching your fingers for just a moment. his thumb brushes over your knuckles once—so gentle it might be accidental, except for the way his breath catches.
then mei calls out asking for help with her drawing and you both spring apart.
the third visit, he comes after dinner when mei is already asleep.
you are in the schoolroom, preparing lessons for the next week. you don't hear him approach until he speaks from the doorway.
"you work too hard."
you startle, nearly knocking over the inkwell.
"my lord. i didn't hear you."
"caleb," he says, stepping into the room. "please. when it's just us, just caleb."
"that wouldn't be appropriate."
"nothing about this is appropriate." he gestures vaguely between you. "and yet."
you don't ask what he means by this, you're not certain you want to know.
"mei's asleep?" he asks.
"yes. she asked about you before bed. she wanted to know when you'd come home again."
guilt crosses his face.
"i return to linkon tomorrow and be gone for at least three weeks."
"she'll miss you."
"will she?" the question isn't rhetorical, he genuinely seems uncertain.
"desperately. she counts the days between your letters. she has every single one you've ever sent her in a box under her bed."
caleb's eyes close briefly.
"i didn't know that."
"she loves you. she's just afraid you won't come back, like your parents didn't come back."
"i always come back."
"but she doesn't know that, every time you leave, she's terrified it's the last time."
caleb sinks into one of the chairs, suddenly looking exhausted. there is ink on his fingers from the correspondence he was writing in his study.
"tell me what to do," he says quietly. "how do i fix this?"
you set down your pen, move to sit in the chair across from him.
"write to her more, not just the formal letters about trade and your hopes that she is well. write about small things. what you ate for breakfast, the book you're reading. the terrible joke one of your clerks told, let her see that you're alive and real, not just words on a page."
"i can do that."
"and when you come home, spend time with her. do not just check that she's doing her lessons, play games with her, walk with her in the garden. let her see that you want to be here with her."
"i do want to be here." his eyes find yours. "more than you know."
there is weight in those words that has nothing to do with mei.
"you should tell her that," you say, though your voice comes out softer than you intended.
"i'm not good at this, at talking about feelings. our father was a reserved man. i was taught to be stoic and controlled. i don't know how to be anything else."
"mei doesn't need you to be perfect, she just needs you to be her brother."
"and what do you need?"
the question catches you off guard.
"my lord..."
"caleb."
"i don't understand what you're asking."
"do you like it here? at xia estate? are you happy?"
happy.
what a strange word.
you have not thought about happiness in months since before your father died, since before the creditors came, and since before you had to choose between this position and the alternatives that made your skin crawl.
but here, in this schoolroom, with mei's laughter during lessons and the household staff's kindness and this man…
"yes," you admit, your voice small. "i'm happy here."
caleb’s expression softens.
"good. that's…good."
silence falls, comfortable but charged with something neither of you will name.
"i should go," caleb says finally, though he doesn't move. "let you finish your work."
"yes. you should."
neither of you moves.
"she speaks about you constantly," caleb says quietly. "in her letters. every single one. miss did this, she said that, she's so clever and kind. i thought perhaps she was exaggerating because she's been through so many governesses and desperately wants one to stay."
"i can see that now." he stands slowly. "when i'm away, at my desk in linkon, worrying about her, it helps to know you're here and that she isn't alone."
"she'll never be alone. i promised her that."
"and do you keep your promises?"
always.
"yes."
"good." caleb moves toward the door but stops. "thank you for being here, for caring about her. for…"
he stops, his eyes search your face like he's trying to memorize it.
"for everything," he finishes quietly.
then he is gone.
you sit in the empty schoolroom for a long time after, staring at the papers in front of you without seeing them.
you are in so much trouble.
caleb leaves the next morning.
mei cries when she says goodbye but not the violent, desperate sobs from before. these are quieter tears, sad but not hopeless.
"you will write?" she asks, clinging to his coat.
"every week, i promise."
"and you'll come home for the harvest festival?"
"yes. in two months."
"that's forever."
"it will pass quickly."
mei pulls back. looks up at him with those too-knowing eyes that children sometimes have.
"do you like her?" she asks.
caleb goes very still.
"of course i like her. she's an excellent governess."
"no. i mean do you like her. the way papa liked mama."
you are standing far enough away to give them privacy but close enough to hear every word, your face burns.
"mei…"
"because i think you do. you look at her the way papa used to look at mama, like she's the most important person in the room."
"that's not…i don't…" caleb seems at a loss and then he sighs. he kneels down so he is eye level with his sister. "even if i did, it wouldn't matter. she's your governess and i'm an earl. there are rules about these things."
"rules are stupid."
"perhaps, but they exist regardless."
mei considers this with the seriousness of a twelve-year-old who has decided adults are irrational.
"if there were no rules, would you marry her?"
you don't breathe and try to pretend that your attention is elsewhere, but you feel caleb’s gaze on you.
"yes," he says quietly. "i would."
then he stands, kisses mei's forehead, and walks to his carriage.
he doesn't look back as it pulls away.
but you feel the weight of that confession for days afterward.
⚜ a/n: this was originally a very convoluted mix of jane eyre x atonement but i decided to just remove most of the heavy angst and just stick with a simpler plot. i'm sorry if my writing is a bit off, i'm suffering from a really bad case of writer's block. i wish i would get over it soon because there's so so much stuff that i need to finish (warlord sylus, let the light in, spring song, not to mention the caleb fics i planned for june, and the rest of the arranged marriage fics😭). but i'm really grateful for all all the love, patience, and support from you guys.
➵ yes, there will be a final part to this, i plan to post it around the third week of june, hopefully.
⚜ taglist: @seraphineash, @loreleis-world, @kingraspberry12-blog, @tinuvieloflemuria (for permanent tags, please send an ask so i can keep track)
➵ likes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated. love you all and thank you so much for reading!💜
fluff! just zayne being unable to sleep without you by his side, he's very lover boy coded here hehe
it's seven a.m. on a saturday and the other side of the bed of the bed is cold. zayne sleepily extends his arm out, but is met with silk sheets. taking in a few deep breaths in, he counts to ten in hopes that you come back.
but after five, he feels the sleepiness worsen. there is one problem: he can't sleep without you by his side. groggy, he lifts up the blanket covers and slips on his fluffy slippers, making his way to the kitchen where he hopes he will be able to find you.
you stand with your back to him, stirring sugar into your camomile tea. he drags his feet against the floorboards, his arms encircling around your waist as he rests his head on top of yours.
“your side of the bed was cold without you by my side, darling. come back to bed with me, please?” he complains, snuggling closer into you.
“i'm so sorry, my love. i only wanted to make some tea to help me fall back asleep.” you place your warm hands over his arms, soothing him.
“hm,” he hums, nodding without saying anything else, clearly ready to go back to bed with you.
“let's go back to bed.” you gently remove his arms off your waist but are met with a slight whimper of disapproval from zayne. “just for a minute, my love. i need to carry the mug back to bed and then i'm all yours, okay?”
you lead the way, with your boyfriend drowsily following behind. settling into the bed, zayne happily slips under the covers, looking at you with pleading eyes as he waits for you to finish your tea.
the tea is slightly hot, but you don't let it show. drinking this tea in slight discomfort is the least of your worries whilst your hard working boyfriend needs his needed rest. you place the mug down on the bedside table, letting your head rest against the pillow.
zayne pulls you close in his embrace, making sure to have you flush against him. he lets out a sigh of relief, and finally closes his eyes for a peaceful slumber with his beloved by his side.
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