Alice

Eat ur barium me x

[boyy-bait]

Life of a Customer Service Rep.

[blvckgeezus]

Lmfao the pause

[hunchoeatsfirst]

where’s the lie

[samthe-onion-nigga]

THEY CAME THAT WAY!!

[yama-t-h-a-founder]

I’m stupid dead😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[goaliemagics]

me: stutters out fifteen sentence fragments that no-one can make sense of not even me me: you know?

[kasindrarules-deactivated201812]

that one friend who knows you better than you: yeah

[diversedisney]

[sweetsteeths]

person: hey you ok?

me, dissociating: 

[mockwa]

[yeahiwasintheshit]

you must of fucked up real bad, bud

[zaksaidso-deactivated20210503]

“I think it’s a b-flat.”

Kristen Chenoweth trying to figure out the note of a triggered car alarm in a parking garage. (btw it was in fact a b-flat)

[outofcontextarthur]

[typesetjez]

Something’s a little fishy about the IKEA Santa, but I think I trust him more than all the others.

[good-christian-minecraft-server]

Me playing Animal Crossing Pocket Camp

[saddest-cat-hours]

[prozac4president]

[lindsaychrist]

[joshpeck]

this changed me as a person

[eternal-nova-deactivated2018011]

I’m in tears!

[lady-fett]

I just want to know how the writers of snl knew about my very specific sexual fantasy

[localstarboy]

[blushbnnuy]

Mom: let me see what you have!

Kid: A KNIFE!

Mom: NOOO!!!

[earthnation]

voice in the background: oh my god why does he have a kni-

[sugarplumharry-deactivated20170]

Snoop Dogg narrating planet earth is what the world needs

[1alyssaayaan-deactivated2018090]

we dem boys

[guncharge]

i need a series to be made off of this 

[joshpeck]

I don’t think I’ll ever be over Snoop Dogg not knowing what otters are

[daintydear]

so yeah what are you supposed to do when you’re at the age where everything you do actually counts for your future but you have 0% of your shit together and are 150% depressed

[tastefullyoffensive]

[hofessorx]

All I can think of is that tweet about how we aren’t a species designed to last