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@fairygravy
me,swimming:wow this is amazing i love the ocean
me, when seaweed touches my foot: I imagine death so much it feels more like memory
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Joel Tettamanti - Greenland
Oh boy, who’s gonna tell him?
why are old people so obsessed with doing this
me as a castaway spelling with leaves:
tfw u get stranded😱😱😱😞😞😞😞😞😞😩😩😩😩😩😩😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 succs 👎👎👎👎👎👎👎😾😾😾😾😾😡😡😡😡💩💩💩💩💩cause theres no pokestops 😂😂😂😂😂😂👌👌👌👌👌💯💯💯💯💯😜😜😜😜so whoever sees this 👀👀👀👀👀👈👈👈👈👈👈u know what to do😋😋😋😏😏😏😏😏😛😛😛😛😉😉😉😉💅💅💅💅💅💅
“you’re an art model does that mean you’re NAKED?” “yeah” “whoa….those lucky artists ;)”
…buddy.
idk who started the idea that life drawing classes have anything sexy going on like. there’s at least ten people in the room and we’re all tired and covered in charcoal.
the dude in front who’s staring at my boobs has been trying to get the shading right for 10 minutes. he’s almost out of paint. he is crying.
#this ain’t some avant-garde titanic poly romance it’s a bunch of individual sinking ships and one uncaring human-shaped ice burg
The ice burg being frozen solid because there are NEVER ENOUGH SPACE HEATERS.
I was an artist’s model in uni since it paid better than any other student work position. Did a life drawing class one semester, despite it being an unheated old building in the winter evenings, because the instructor was a decent fellow who always had extra space heaters. So there I am one evening, exhausted from my team’s afternoon practice, but I’m in a comfortable position on a padded stool, ready to hold the position for like fifteen minutes. Space heaters all around me, spotlights on me to get shadows in interesting places.
Beyond the red glow of the heaters and the hot-white of the spotlights, the massive drafty room is dark and quiet, broken only by the instructor’s whispers and the scratch of charcoal on paper. Me, I’m just dozing, ‘cause my ancient dorm was heated with creaky old steampipes that never really got warm, and with the new extra-powered space heater alongside the others, that night was the warmest I’d been in a month. I dozed, basking in the glorious warmth.
And then I fell asleep.
And then I fell off the stool.
I woke up rather abruptly on the cold wooden platform, and looked up to see an entire ring of terrified and worried faces around me. Everyone had their hands up, ready to help me up, except no one had touched me. Naked chick laid out face-down on the floor, and all the men and women were suddenly acutely aware they couldn’t just grab a half-asleep dazed naked chick.
Fortunately someone had the bright idea to tear the sheet down from the backdrop, lay it over me as a wrap, and then everyone was quick to help me up.
After that, the instructor and students got used to taking turns talking to me, just to make sure I wasn’t dozing off. Which was weird, at first, because I’d done two semesters just being a silent prop, and now I was interacting. It gave the class a vibe completely unlike any other I’d modeled for, and it ended up one of my favorite modeling experiences.
postscript: months later, walking on campus with someone who’d eventually become my spouse, we passed some guys on the main path. One of them stopped, peered at me, and then said hello, excitedly, saying, “sorry, I didn’t recognize you, I’ve never seen you with your clothes on!”
This is honestly so delightful and accurate
Interviewer: Okay we’re going to take your pictures too so show up in whatever you want to be photographed in.
Mads Mikkelsen: I have the perfect outfit.
*shows up in wrinkled shirt and weird jeans with the fly partially unzipped and probably two simultaneous track jackets that match nothing else on earth*
Interviewer, without irony: Perfect.
Show us the pictures op
girl: hey wats ur sign?
me:
”This Artist Brilliantly Reimagined Disney Princesses as-”
me: *already asleep*
i have never been more awake
people trying to breastfeed their children: i just wanna feed my child
assholes: well i have a penis and i can’t ejactulate onto the floor so :/
people trying to breastfeed their children: what does that have to do with anything
assholes: equality :/
yeah i reckon they might be
The best line in all of tv history