♥︎ ໑ ﹒ ׄ ೀ ━━ 𝑟𝑦𝑘𝑒𝑟 · 𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗻𝗶𝗹𝗼𝗾𝘂𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗱 ㅤ۪ㅤ۫ㅤ੭
ryker has long accepted that peaceful lives and happy endings only belonged to the wealthy and powerful . but now he was beginning to realize that even freedom and choice were things he could never afford . even with his sinister reputation and prominent rank in the gang and in the rings , at the end of the day , he could only ever be a pawn . the words raven spoke held some truth in them . yes , he could have taken her with him , and yes , they could have ran away together . but there was another truth that raven failed to see . and it was that both scenarios ended with just the same tragedy as they were facing now . it might’ve been both a foolish and selfish act to leave raven in the care of her father’s wealth , but at the time , it was the option that guaranteed her safety . if ryker didn’t have any real power to protect her now , what power did he have two years ago ? and that was the reality that killed him over and over — he had no power . and raven breaking down in front of him over her suffering was the most painful reminder of that fact . he’s never known what it’s like to have a family , to hold something sacred in his life . until raven came along . and it destroyed him that he could do nothing to protect her , much less deserve her . there was nothing he could offer then , and there was nothing he could offer now . and she deserved so much more than nothing . so much more than him .
he could argue and tell her all of this , but there was barely a point to it . so he took her blows head-on with very little resistance . it was the least he deserved . ryker wished , more than anything , that she’d actually hit him — land a strike , make him bleed , break a rib , break something . but all he got were several shoves backward until there was some distance between them . with survival being the only way he knew how to live , remorse was hardly a familiar thing to ryker . and yet , seeing the devastation he caused raven , overwhelming waves of it threatened to break him apart . breathing was becoming an increasingly excruciating chore to do . coming here was an even bigger mistake than he thought . ❝ no — no, you don’t . you deserve none of this . ❞ when she crumbled to the ground , all ryker wanted to do was run to her side and engulf her in an embrace but he was certain that he would do more harm than good . so for a while , he painstakingly tried to keep his distance , but the sight of her breaking was unbearable and the space between them was even more so . and so against his better judgment , he rushed beside her , making sure he didn’t make any unwanted contact . but everything about him — from his arm hovering right behind her to the way he was kneeling, facing her — was ready to just pull her into the warmth and safety of his arms . ❝ raven , i — ❞ what was there to say ? what could he say that wouldn’t make her hurt ? there was that awful pounding in his chest again , begging , demanding release . and at this point , ryker was beyond restraint . ❝ i won’t let anything happen to you ❞ it was a dangerous promise to make her , to say the least . and yet the weight that lifted off his chest was undeniable . as if being in her life again was what he was really meant to do . ❝ i failed you last time , but if — if you let me , i don’t care if i die just to keep you safe . ❞
❀⸼ ㅤೃ ∿ since the day he left , raven always secretly hoped that he’d come back for her . that the promises that once reassured her freedom , to living a slightly normal life than she had , would be fulfilled with his help . but as days went by , she realized that he’s never coming back . that whatever offer her father made with him must have been more than enough to turn his back on her and never look back . then on , she expected less and less of his return , and the promises he once said are merely meant to be broken . in the end , raven only had herself to fight for her own freedom . she didn’t need him then , she doesn’t need him now . there are so many women out there who’s a better suit for him than her . they both live two very different lives and status that in the end , they just aren’t meant to be together . as time passes by , she would numb her heart and find her comfort with meaningless affairs , waking up in another person’s bed until what she feels for him , dies out . for a while , it worked . it seemed as if ryker never existed in her life . until he reappeared when everything seems to be perfect again . all the feelings she feels just for him comes rushing back to her all at once in an overwhelming emotion . all she can do is give in and pour it all out . let herself be vulnerable for a quick second . this is going to be the last time she’ll ever shed a tear for him like this .
now that everything’s been released off her chest , raven tries to clear her head and control her breathing through the sobs that eludes her lips . slender hands cover her messy and wet features to wipe away the tears from her cheeks . for years , she restrained her own emotions , now , a huge weight has been lifted off her chest . perhaps through this , she can finally move on too . however , knowing herself , that’s least likely to happen . raven’s anything but smart when it comes to love . out of all relationships she’s been through , ryker’s the only one who’s made her heart beat abnormally fast and the only one who’s got her thinking that if it’s not going to be ryker she’d spend the rest of her days with , then no one should be able to take his place at all . she’ll only accept living forever if it’s with him . while she tries to collect herself , she can feel his presence crouched before her . and maybe she’s going crazy , but she imagines his hand reaching out to her , and for a moment , raven wants to be wrapped around his warmth . another part of her wants to push him away , get up , and leave . if she’s smart enough , she would’ve done the latter . yet , it takes her a few more minutes in her position before finally putting both hands down and forcing herself to stand up . face damped and eyes visibly swollen from crying . she has to get away from here now before she explodes again from each word that escapes his lips . “ thanks , but no thanks . ” she says through shaky breath , dark hues avoiding his gaze . “ if i can take care of myself before , i can take care of myself again . you’re just going to waste your time and your life on me . so go on , do whatever you want to do . i don’t care . i’m going back . ”