Kira
I’ve already got a problem with this. Her powers seem oddly familiar…I wonder who she could be reminding me of…
Height: 5’6
Eye Color: Yellow
Hair Color: Dark Blue
Skin Color: White
Age: 21
Weight: 47kg (103lbs)
Birthday: February 14. X763
Scars: A large one on her back from Acnologia.
I’ll touch on her scar later.
Kira was raising by a lightning dragon named Voltains and was taught lightning dragon slayer magic. Voltains watched over her from about five years old to six teen years old then Voltains left after five years Kira opened up a library call Reading Dragon in Clover after finding many books about dragons and dragon slayers though she still looks Voltains mainly in stormy areas she never takes her hat off because it was a gift from Voltains hat raised her.
Voltains is an interesting name for a dragon. I like it. Another thing I like is that the character opened a book shop, and I think they should really expand on that more. It’s not every day that you see an OC who isn’t a full-time mage. I’d like to know how she got the money for the store. As we’ll see later on, she may or may not have found or received all of her books through missions. The only problem I can see with it is that it has many books. Not much is known about dragons, so I doubt there’d be very many books on them. Dragon slayers are also pretty rare from what we’ve seen so far. Unless you sat down and had an interview, I doubt you’d get much.
Also during the five years she spent looking for the dragon she became strong enough to be one of the ten Wizard Saints and some say she could even match Master Markov of the Fairy Tail guild.
No. NO NO NO. You do not upstage canon characters! You’re telling me that the little shrimp with shojou legs in your blog’s back ground is as strong, if not stronger than Gildarts? No. Do. NOT. Do that!!! If you want to make your character strong, then fine. But don’t go overboard like this. It’s ridiculous! She’s stronger than Laxus!
Strengths And Weakness’s
Strengths: Has a lot of stamina, has a lot of magic energy, magic attacks super strong, and attack is strong as well.
Weakness’s: Defense isn’t that good, she can’t help, but surrender if someone is in danger even if she doesn’t know them, she is too nice, and she doesn’t have very much resistance to any type of mind control magic or sleep magic.
Okay, we get it. You’re an over-powered mage. You don’t have to reiterate for us. For your weaknesses, I would say that you’re wrong. If your OC is almost as powerful as Makarov then you’d have pretty good defense! You stood up to Acnologia and survived for cripe’s sake! Gildarts got away with losing an organ, and all you got was a scar? You’re saying that your defense is bad, but you’re still able to stand up and walk away from one of the biggest baddies in the series? You need to rethink your choices.
Surrendering if somebody is in danger is nice and all, but being too nice is an endearing trait. It’s not a weakness. What are you going to do with your niceness, oh powerful one? Are you going to walk away from a fight because you don’t want the opponent to get hurt? That’s not how the series works, dear. You get in a fight, you don’t just walk away. The enemy would try beating the shit out of you until you did fight back. And how often does control and sleep magic come up in the plot? From my understanding there was control magic in the Tenrou arc with that voodoo doll, and the only sleep magic I can think of is Mystogan’s. So no, those aren’t the best choices of weaknesses. Why not have something more common? I know that the magic in the series is diverse, but you can try harder than that.
Kira’s Scar
During the last month of her search for Voltains she had found a very rare book that had never even been known to exist. It was a book on the dragon Acnologia and she was planning on reading it then taking it to the Magic Council afterwards. She spent the next few days trying to decipher and manged to do it, but before she could read it Acnologia had come up to her demanding to hand over the book. Naturally she did not give in to her demand and was quickly attacked. She was barely able to dodge the attack, but did so and ran off. Where she was she could make it to the Magic Council in a few minutes and hand them the book, but it wasn’t long before she was found again this time being hit and Acnologia made a large cut on her back from one of his claws and quickly passed out from blood lose. Acnologia took the book and left Kira for dead, though was found by a knight who works at the Magic Council. After a few days she had woken up and explained what had happened. She was ordered to stay for a few more days just in case Acnologia came back to finish the job, but he didn’t. During the few days she stayed there she had strange dreams about Acnologia, but never told the Magic Council. When there was no sign of Acnologia coming back they let her go back to Clover. She still has strange dreams from time to time and has passed out randomly before, but she still hasn’t told anyone what is happened because of a word she hears every night before she goes to sleep which is hide.
Why would Acnologia demand to have a book back? If the book contains information on how to defeat him then I will have an aneurism. Also, you’re breaking canon by having him talk to her. It was clearly stated that Acnologia views humans as insects and doesn’t talk to them. He’s an asshole with a holier-than-thou complex, and for a very good reason. He wouldn’t talk to Wendy, so why would he talk to you?
And what are these strange dreams? Are they prophetic? Are they nightmares that cause her to lose sleep? Please tell me, oh kawaii one.
Oh boy, and now I’ll try and give some tips to fix this mess:
-Make her weaker. She doesn’t need to be overpowered. It’s better to have your character grow over time like Natsu and the gang have. They aren’t all powerful and automatic gods, so why should your character?
-Rethink your strengths and weaknesses. Add some weaknesses that are actually more sensible. Make them more common, as was stated with your weaknesses to control and sleep magic.
~Banana out