And now we're here @falphormi - Tumblr Blog

a while back my best friend linked me to a thread on homemade My Little Pony transformation hypnosis tapes

that’s a really loaded sentence so let me ease into it

they were like, hour long recordings you were supposed to lay down and listen to and focus on nothing else, that started off with some relaxation techniques then eased into like, “feel your hands becoming hooves. remember pinkie pie’s happy memories. imagine yourself literally becoming pinkie pie. imagine your pink mane. you are literally pinkie pie”

all with the goal of putting you in a mental state where you were convinced you were this cartoon pony. and it was full of people like “wow! this was so relaxing. i felt like i literally Became rarity”

the problem is that human brains are kind of, buggy? so people, especially if they listened to the tapes too much, started like, accidentally going to this mental state they’d created at random inopportune times. the thread was suddenly full of people desperate to know how to stop it because they were turning into rainbow dash in the middle of driving on a highway to work, or whatever

anyway, i’m just burdened with that knowledge forever, now. i think about it a lot

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this post radiates unfathomable amounts of dark energy

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honey

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THAT’S NOT HONEY DONT EAT THAT

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I’m crying

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Spicy Honey.

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Literally heard a convo at the library where a guy was telling a girl that he’s an omega and the girl telling him that she’s a beta, and my mind just did not automatically connect the context to fraternity pledge classes at all and I just whispered to myself “what the fuck?? What the fuck??”

i downloaded tinder just so I could make a really funny profile which wasn’t even that funny but it was in the moment and i lowkey ended up getting a crush on the first person who messaged me on there which is just awesome.

LIKE SINCE THIS IS TUMBLR IMMA ALSO JUST SAY ALL THE STUFF I TOLD MY BEST FRIEND WHO IS TIRED OF MY SHIT SO

like I KNOw its tinder and HE PROBABLY DOESN’T EVEN REALLY LIKE ME THAT MUCH OR HE’S JUST TRYNA GET SOME but i made some quality jokes (which means they weren’t that funny but i was stressed) and so MAYBE he likes me? IDK MAN I DON’T TALK TO PEOPLE ENOUGH.

i’m like sort of a loser tho, a loser with a 4.0, but a loser. I sort of hope that he likes me though, but also he’s older so he prob will think i’m weird and friendzone me at some point but I REALLY SORT OF HOPE HE LIKES ME but also like i just know imma be friendzoned and rejected later.

but he’s like really cute okay.

and he’s learning chinese

i need to take a chance and get rejected because i’ve never done that before.

#this will be my first post before i disappear again for months hahahahaahhahha #i'm really stupid #and i get crushes really easily

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I like to dip my cookies in Mountain Dew because it gives them an ever so tangy flavor if left in there for the right amount of time

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As soon as I looked at this my mom’s pastor called to see if I was ok

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YOU’RE WELCOME

anchovy-official

do you take constructive criticism on your posts?

andhumanslovedstories

So I came home from work today and there was a kindle addressed to me that I did not remember ordering. I spent the afternoon trying to figure out how I accidentally purchased a kindle from Amazon, and when I came back from hanging out with Catherine, I told my parents, guys, you will not believe what I accidentally ordered for myself.

“Huh,” said Dad very casually. “Did you get charged for it?”

I spent the next five minutes checking my bank account and came back into the living room to announce, “No, I didn’t. Do you think it’s a mistake? But it has my name on it! what does this mean”

It was around the time that I started to sound panicked that Dad confessed to buying it for me (“I didn’t realize the mystery of it would be so terrifying”). Which was very, very sweet and slightly unfortunate because yesterday I purchased a replacement kindle for myself.

So anyway, we now have a family kindle

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Me and Mom were talking about the kindle this morning, and she told me about how a few weeks ago, she got into her car only to discover that it had been mysteriously cleaned.

“But who would do this?” she said to my father who said he was sure he had no idea. “A student? A stranger? Someone who broke into my car to steal it but felt bad about how dirty it was? WHO??”

Eventually Dad was like, “Honey. It was clearly me.”

Poor Dad just wants to be a man who expresses his love through silent actions, but his family consists of panicked, suspicious women who apparently are very sure that strangers will ominously do nice things for us

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Hooters is just an extremely American take on a maid cafe if you think about it

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i was not prepared for this

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this is so cute

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my favorite part of Death Note is when Light was secretly watching the news on that minature TV hiddin in his chips so he wouldn’t be seen doing it by L, and afterwards Ryuk is like “dude! that was actually…….. a pretty smart plan! but one question: you had to throw it away with the chip bag right? wasn’t that thing expensive?? like, 40000¥?!” and Light was like “haha yep” and Ryuk was like “man how did you even get the funds for that??” and Light was like “haha yep” and then the episode just abruptly ended without any further explanation