It gets better

A born pessimist trying to be an optimist - being an optimist is a pain in the ass.

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Sometimes you live with people that make you take unusual safety precautions 

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I experienced something amazing last year and I waited to share with people.  When I did it was with very few, but the feedback was pretty much universal.... it was all, what about me?  I want to that, what about me???  and basically what can I do so that they can do it too.

Frankly it still really bothers me and makes me not want to share.  

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My therapist asked me what brings me joy.

Huh...hmmm....well lately....

A:  My cats and tiktok

So yeah, in 2023 I’m going to expand this list.

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Coming out of the fog...

after being depressed for a long time, I am finally, finally out of it and have slowly stepped down to zero antidepressants. And you know what my depression was hiding?  ANXIETY!  lololol  

Also, antidepressants interfere with psychedelics, and that’s part of my healing path....iykyk

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I talk to myself all the time.  If not to myself to the cats.  If I didn’t have a job or animals the person I talk to most would be myself.

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I’ve been working on a project to go through every drawer, cabinet, closet, storage bin, and storage space. It has taken a few months, I’m almost at the end. So yay me! 🥳💪🏼

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Hola lovers!

Where to start??  

I’m in love again, it’s quite new, but oh so wonderful.  Related... I’ve done something either incredibly stupid or incredibly bold.  lolsob

I guess it’s worth posting/memorializing, sometimes I don’t count things as being real unless I write it here or tell someone.  I am not writing the specific thing yet, but I have told no one.  OMG

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Cheers (at The St. Regis New York)

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Hello friends

I am alive and well.  Miss you!

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Neil Gaiman ❤️

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Strange night!

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Off to a thing! I had to knock on my neighbor’s door on the way out to zip me up. Lol.

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I love catching you randomly posting pictures in the middle of the night.

And then making them private as I do.

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And being such a bonehead I forget to make them private. It my defense it was a messy fun night! I need to up my pic game. 😂

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I love catching you randomly posting pictures in the middle of the night.

And then making them private as I do.

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Work. 😂

[girlvswhale]

Before and After

Get someone to hold you. Get them to slide into your bed at night and press their mouth into your back.  Get someone who clicks into you like a key snapping into a lock and get them to fall asleep with you. Get someone to learn the outline of your sleeping body. Get someone to teach you the outline of theirs. Get someone who dreams about you at night. Get someone who hides with you under the sheets from the morning sun. Get someone who groggily talks about their dreams with their eyes closed. Get someone who pulls you back into bed when you get up, just for one last kiss. Get someone who curls up into the warm spot your body just left and falls back asleep before you even make it to the shower.

Spend your nights next to someone who touches you like they are a 6 AM wind in the middle of May–gentle, cool, and familiar.

Mornings are never the same after a breeze like that–waking up feels so empty when you one day you go from two bodies together to being nothing but a single body alone. 

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Sometimes I have to remind myself of feelings.