I didn’t have the energy to explain to my mom all that was going on before the phone disconnected due to the tunnel that the train had went under. She reminded me that I only had 2 weeks left before I came home for Thanksgiving break. It was only a couple of days but that was enough time to get away from this madness and clear my mind. I needed to be around her kind spirit to get back to my old self. I don’t know this person that I was becoming in Baltimore and I didn’t like it.
I stepped off of the train and made my way to the entrance where Aryn was meeting me. I spotted her car and went over. Aryn hopped out of the drivers seat and came over to the passenger side to open my door for me. She’s literally about to become my baby’s father.
“Get in,” she said as I slowly approached the car dragging my feet. “Come on we ain’t got all day baby girl,” she rushed me. I slid my feet across the concrete not ready to talk about today’s unexpected events. I got close enough to her and she helped me speed up my pace of getting into the car.
“Aryn I really don’t feel like talking about it right now,” I said once we were both settled into the car
“I don’t care. I want to know why the hell I’m picking you up from a train station at this time of night. When and why the hell were you in DC!?”
“And where the fuck is Jaylen!?”
“What you mean you don’t know? I need answers Yoko.”
“He’s still in DC. A lot of shit went down today.”
“Aryn can you just drop it? I don’t feel like talking about it,” I said getting frustrated
“Look I’m not trying to pressure you into talking about your business but when you drag me out of my bed at this time of night to pick you and my godchild up from a sketchy ass train station don’t you think I deserve to know what the fuck is going on? I was worried sick about you when you sent me that message to come and pick you up. Now you don’t want to talk about it?” I still didn’t want to talk about it but I guess I could give her a synopsis of what happened so she could be at ease some. I loved the fact that she cared about me but some things I just wasn’t ready to speak on.
“Ima tell you this and I don’t want any questions about it. If you want to ask questions save them for tomorrow because as I said I don’t feel like it right now. Ok?”
“Nah say ok.” She side eyed me and I stared back at her until she said it
“Ok Dakota! Always gotta be difficult,” she complained driving down the highway
“Whatever. To make a long story short, Jay dragged me to DC with him so we could tell his mom about the baby but when we got there she was in the hospital. We went up to the hospital and she died while we were in the room,” I said and she gasped. I saw her lips forming to ask a question but I shut her down. “No questions until tomorrow remember? Anyways, after we left the hospital we went back to his house where all of his family was grieving. I really wanted to stay but I have a class tomorrow that I can’t miss or otherwise I’ll be on the verge of failing. I knew he was going to be mad when I told him but I would’ve never expected his reaction.”
“That was a question Aryn.”
“He basically was saying that I wasn’t there for him when he needed me to be. He went on to say that the baby probably wasn’t even his. I don’t know Aryn. He was just ranting on and on bashing me saying all this hurtful shit because he’s hurting. I’m so over him it’s not funny.”
“Oh hell nah why would he say that!? Ima fuck his ass up when I see him.”
“I’m just going to give him his space for the night because he’s tripping. I understand the circumstance but he’s not going to disrespect me. I’m just so ready to go home.”
“Well we’re almost there.”
“This isn’t home. I want to go back to Brooklyn and never come back. I hate it here.”
“No you don’t. You just need a good nights rest and some time to reflect on everything that happened today,” she told me as my phone started to vibrate in my bag. I took it out and looked at the screen. It was Milan calling.
“Oh hey. Can you give the phone to Jaylen please? My dad wants to know what time he’s coming back in,” she said
“Um, I’m actually not with him at the moment. He isn’t back in the house yet?” I asked worried
“No I thought that you two were still out together before you went back.”
“He dropped me off at the station over an hour ago. I haven’t talked to him since. Did you check back at the court?”
“Yeah me and Dee walked down there and we didn’t see him.”
“Have you tried to call his phone?”
“Yeah I called and it would ring but he didn’t answer.”
“Ok I’ll call and see if he picks up. If so I’ll tell him to call you.”
“Cool. Thank you sis,” she said and a small smile crept on my face
“No problem love,” I said and we hung up the phone
“What’s the problem now?” Aryn’s nosey ass said
“Jay’s family can’t get in touch with him. They thought we were still together,” I said as I went to my recent call log and touched his name. The phone rung and rung then went straight to voicemail. I called him 5 more times and the same thing happened. I swear to God he better not be out doing nothing stupid.
I sent Milan a text message telling her that I couldn’t get ahold of him either as we pulled up to our apartment. My mind was racing as to where he could be but I couldn’t do anything but wait until he called somebody back.
The next morning I woke up hoping that I would have a good morning text on my phone from Jay as I usually do but there was nothing. My heart dropped at the thought that he was with another girl. I don’t know why that scenario was weighing so heavy on my mind but it was all that I could think about. Maybe because of all the shit he was tweeting about the old him coming back out.
I shot Milan a message asking has she heard from him yet and she replied no. I called Jaylen again but this time his phone went straight to voicemail. My heart dropped yet again at the thought that anything could’ve happened to him last night. I wish he would just call somebody even if it weren’t me just so I could be sure that he’s all right. Although I was still upset at the way that he talked to me last night I still didn’t wish anything bad happened to him.
After class, I made it to the basketball arena in no time thanks to the campus shuttle. Although I still heard no word from Jaylen I decided to keep strong with my own word of going to talk to Coach Johnson. As I entered the building that brought back nothing but memories from that night I saw the face of the one of the people that I despised on this campus; Ryan. I tried to walk as fast as possible so that he wouldn’t see me but he spotted me. We made slight eye contact but I broke it and rolled my eyes.
“Ayo,” he called out to me. I didn’t stop because my name isn’t ‘ayo’ and I don’t answer to them bird calls. “Aye Dakota,” he said sounding like he was jogging over to me. I was going to keep walking but maybe he knew where Jay was.
“Yeah?” I asked with attitude evident and my arms crossed on my chest
“What’s all that attitude for?” he said now fully in front of me
“Where this nigga Jaylen at? He’s about to miss practice. I called him but he ain’t answer and he ain’t come back in the room last night so I figured he was with you.”
“What makes you think that?”
“Ya’ll motherfuckers attached at the hip. You know you know where he’s at.”
“Why you playing? I know we aren’t on the best terms but could you call him for me since he isn’t answering and tell him to hurry up. Coach be making us run dumb drills when a nigga late.”
“I’m serious I don’t know where he’s at. He won’t answer for me either.”
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” I said with a light chuckle. “Just plotting on our downfall.”
“What ya’ll do together is between ya’ll.”
“Exactly! So stay out of it and keep my name out of your mouth while you’re at it,” I spat and walked away
“Chill out shorty,” he said grabbing my arm. “I’m just looking out for the best interest of my brother. If a girl just came and interrupted everything wouldn’t you want to look out and make sure she isn’t playing him. That shit with that other nigga in front of the union was sus as shit and I’m not going to let him get played by no female.”
“But that wasn’t your place Ryan. I understand all that but sometimes you gotta learn your role. We had already discussed what happened and who he was so there was no need for you to come back stirring shit up.”
“You’re right and I was wrong that’s why I got hit in my shit. I apologize for that and for calling you out of your name but females out here are so damn sneaky.”
“You know Jaylen better than I know him and you know that he wouldn’t fall for somebody who isn’t genuine.”
“Yeah that’s true I know he’s not a fool. So do you accept my apology or nah? I can’t have my bros girl hating me. That’s mad awkward.”
“Yeah as long as you keep my name out of your mouth if you don’t have anything nice to say.”
“I’m not joking Ryan because you’re shady as fuck.”
“Okayyy!” he dragged on. “Wait what are you doing in the arena anyways I’ve never seen you come in here.”
“Jay got into some shit so I have to go talk to coach real quick.”
“This nigga. Can you call him for me? I know his sweet ass will answer the phone if he see it’s you.”
“I really don’t know where he is. Me and Milan have been trying but no one can get in touch with him. I thought maybe you had heard from him.”
“Oh you met Milan? Yeah you must really be bae,” he said and we both laughed
“So you haven’t talked to him at all?” I asked him
“Nah, I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen this nigga.”
“Damn so you don’t even know what happened,” I said lowly more so to myself
“What happened?”
“I don’t want to be the one to break the news to you. I think that he should be the one to tell you.”
“Then why bring it up if you wasn’t going to tell me?”
“His mom passed away yesterday,” I said reluctantly
“Oh shit!” he said and squatted down putting his face in his hands. I got down to his level and rubbed his back in a circular motion. “Damn not Ms. Jada!” he said shaking his head. I could tell he was on the verge of tears. I just held him.
“Yo Ryan come on we boutta start running warm up drills,” one of his teammates came out and said
“Aite,” he said through his hands
“Nigga what you doing get up,” he said laughing not knowing what actually was going on. “Look at this nigga,” I heard him say to another teammate in the gym
“I’m coming nigga go the fuck inside,” Ryan snapped
“Ain’t that Jaylen bitch doe?” I overheard the two guys talking as they went back inside
“Ignore those fools. They ain’t shit.” Ryan said returning to his feet and wiping his face
“It’s fine. I’m kind of getting used to the shade,” I said using my thumb to wipe away a tear he missed
“Shit crazy out here,” he said wiping his face off again
“Yeah I’m fine. If you hear from him tell him to hit my phone please.”
“Aite little one. I gotta go to practice,” he said giving me a hug
“Everything’s gonna be alright,” I said in his ear
“I know,” he said letting go by my waist. “Wait! What’s that?”
“What’s what?” I said confused
“That!” he said touching my sides where my stomach was just beginning to round. It wasn’t noticeable to the eye but if you touched my stomach you could tell
“It’s my stomach nigga tf,” I laughed trying to play it off
“Turn to the side,” he said
“No!” I said laughing because he was trying to piece it all together. “Bye fool! Go to practice before you have your whole team running drills,” I said starting my way down the hall
“Dakota you not?” he made a weird face implying a word that he didn’t want to say out loud making me laugh again. “Are you?”
“Don’t know what you’re referring to. Bye!” I said and ignored any further questions. I would let Jaylen handle telling all of his friends about the baby. I wanted no parts in that discussion.
As I was walking down the hallway I ran into Coach Johnson literally. We hit so hard that I fell back onto the ground and all of the contents of my purse spilled out onto the floor.
“I am so sorry sweetheart. Are you ok?”
“I’m not sure my ankle hurts really bad,” I said out in pain
“I don’t know it just hurts.”
“Does this hurt?” Coach Johnson said grabbing ahold of my ankle and I yelled out in pain. “It looks like you might have sprained it. Let me get a wheel chair out of the office so we can go and get you checked out.”
“No, it’s fine. I’ll be ok just help me up please,” I told him and he helped me up by my arms. As soon as I got to my feet I almost collapsed again but he caught me this time.
“Young lady we have to get you to a doctor so they can wrap this ankle up before it gets worse. Let me get one of my boys to take you,” he said walking me over to an empty chair that was in the hallway. Coach Johnson made his way to the gym to get one of his boys to help me. Before I knew it there was Ryan again. Out of all people he had to be the one he called to help me.
“Dakota?” he said laughing. “It just had to be you huh?”
“It’s not funny asshole. Can you pick all my stuff up?”
“Are you going to answer my question?”
“I will if you pick my stuff up and take me to the emergency room.”
Ryan picked up all of my things putting them back into my bag. He carried me honeymoon style out to his car and drove me to the slow ass emergency room. After a good 5 hours of being there I came out with an ankle boot and crutches for my sprained ankle.
“You know you never answered my question right?” Ryan reminded me as he pulled out of the parking spot
“What was the question again? I forgot.”
“Your ass ain’t forget shit. Are you pregnant? I felt that little ass bump on your stomach when I pulled away from the hug earlier.”
“My stomach is flat what are you talking about?” I said laughing
“Why you keep on playing? I don’t even know why I’m asking you because I already know the answer. Inside that room just now told me the answer.”
“Because you wouldn’t take any of the pain meds that he was trying to prescribe to you. People who pregnant can’t take those pain pills.”
“You think you got it all figured out huh?” I chuckled.
“So you just gonna keep not answering my question?”
“If you know the answer then why you gotta hear it from me?”
“So you are!? Damn this nigga Jaylen wild!”
“Your silence is all I needed to hear. Say no more.”
15 minutes later we pulled up to my apartment and he helped me out and to the door. For me to have hated him a couple of hours ago he isn’t that bad of a guy. He was just an asshole at times. I’m glad that we’re cool now
“What the hell happened to you?” Aryn asked when I walked through our room door
“I shook her ass up on the court,” Ryan replied to her
“Shut the hell up!” I said laughing
“When did ya’ll two become so cool?” Aryn quizzed. Her and Ryan still talk off and on but they’re not as serious as me and Jaylen are
“Since he apologized for being a dick!”
“Aw bae that’s so sweet of you,” Aryn said going over to kiss Ryan on the lips
“Babe did you know that Dakota is,” he stopped and did the weird eye thing he did earlier while doing some rounding movement with his hands over his stomach area
“She’s what?” Aryn asked confused
“Oh my gosh bye Ryan! I’ve been around you too long today. Get out son,” I said laughing
“You lucky I got a test in the morning,” he said walking out of the room with Aryn following him to let him out the front door.
“Forreal what really happened to you?” Aryn asked when she walked back into the room
“I bumped into this big ass man and sprained my damn ankle.”
“He must’ve been big as shit,” she burst out laughing
“It’s not funny,” I pouted
“Grow up. Have you heard from Jaylen yet?”
“Nope. I don’t want to keep blowing his phone up but I’m really worried about him. I’m about to text his little sister again to see if she’s heard anything yet,” I said and sent Milan another text message. She told me that she still hasn’t heard from him and that she’d be sure to tell me if she does.
“She hasn’t heard from him.”
“Damn I hope he’s ok and not doing anything stupid.”
“You don’t even know the half,” I said laying back on my pillow and closing my eyes.
I didn’t want to be off no petty shit but since Dakota couldn’t be here for a nigga when I needed her the most I decided to do what I had to do. The only thing that I was focused on was this road that I was traveling down. I knew that I shouldn’t be going here but I needed someone to be there for me right now. I was always the rock for my fam but this time I’ve reached my breaking point. I felt like I had nobody to talk to so I got desperate and called the one person that I knew was there for me but I always blew off. Desperate times calls for desperate measures.
Everybody was blowing my phone up trying to see where I was at but honestly I just didn’t feel like talking to any of them not even Dakota. She wasn’t there for me so I don’t know why she’s worrying and blowing up my phone now. She can miss me with that shit.
The one person that I did call back was Milan to let her know that I was okay and for her to tell my dad and the rest of the fam not to worry about me and that I’ll be home soon. I made her agree not to tell anyone where I was and if anyone, mostly meaning Dakota, asked if she’d heard from me for her to say no. I wanted to make Kody squirm and worry about me just to make her see how much she wasn’t there when I needed her and how I can be gone at any second.
The GPS chimed for me to make a right and I had reached my destination. I don’t know what I was doing here but after all the distance I traveled I had finally made it. It feels like it’s been so long since I’ve seen this house. I dialed the numbers that I once knew by heart and told her that I was outside. The front door swung open immediately and I was greeted with a warm smile and opened arms. I shouldn’t be here but this is where I need to be right now. With someone who actually cared about me…
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