Them or Us
Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader
Summary: Let's rewrite Joel's story together, shall we?
Warnings: language, graphic violence, character death (not Joel or Ellie), blood, guns, knives, angst, guilt, reader is a badass
A/N: if you are an Abby fan, I suggest skipping this one.
"Ellie! This way!" you shout over the howling wind. She twists around in her saddle and yanks on the reins, steering Shimmer towards you through the blistering snow.
You point towards the ground ā horse tracks, two sets ā that head up the mountain.
"Maybe they found shelter there!" she yells, pointing towards an abandoned ski lodge. Years ago you remember clearing it of infected but it isn't part of your usual patrol routes. You nod and dig your heels into the sides of your horse, urging the poor thing through the blizzard and up the treacherous terrain.
You ride the rest of the way in silence. Not that you could hear her anyway, but you both seem to have the same heavy pit in your stomach. You haven't checked out this place in a long time. Anything or anybody could be in there. But Joel and Dina might be in trouble. You had to go.
When you approach the lodge, you bring your horses inside. It's quiet when you slide down from your horse. You exchange glances with Ellie and jut your chin upwards.
"They'd go up high," you say softly. "So they could get a good look at the land."
She nods in agreement before equipping herself with her rifle. You each check that your guns are loaded ā long range and side arms ā and double check your knives are still hidden in your boots and belts before advancing towards the massive staircase.
Foolishly, you allow yourself to think everything is fine. That they just came in to warm themselves up and wait out the storm. But as you approach the double doors, you hear voices. Ones you don't recognize.
You look at Ellie once again and she shoulders her rifle. You press a finger against your lips and she nods as you creep quietly over the ancient floorboards. Holding your ear up to the door, you listen.
"Because it doesn't matter if you have a code like me, or you're a lawless piece of shit like you," you hear a woman's voice say. You swallow nervously and grip your revolver tighter in your hand.
"There are just some things everyone agrees are just fucking wrong."
You hear footsteps slowly cross the room. It sounds like they are heading in your direction, towards the doors. Your heart slams loudly against your ribs but you are laser focused. The adrenaline in your body sharpens your senses and it's like you can practically see through the doors. You can imagine whoever this is stopping near something by the wall, just feet away from the door where you stand ready on the other side.
You give Ellie one more nod, confirming you're both ready to do what it takes to save the ones you love, and you take a deep breath.
Ellie is first. She kicks the door in and almost immediately gets knocked down by some man standing guard, but somehow you know it's fine. She's not hurt, she just got the wind knocked out of her.
You don't even see Joel or Dina yet. You only see the girl in a grey henley shirt, tucked into her oversized khaki pants, standing in front of a set of golf clubs.
She swivels around in surprise and you lock eyes for one devastating moment. She seems to understand her fate before you. Maybe she sees the pure rage and anger written on your face, one that she herself harbored for five years. Maybe she always knew it would end this way, same as her father.
You raise your revolver and slide one eye shut. It feels like it takes an eternity but it's really only a split second. The girl in front of you no older than Ellie holds her breath. You see fear and helplessness flicker across her eyes before your finger curls around the trigger and a loud bang echos through the vast, open ski lodge.
Blood sprays everywhere and her body drops to the floor with a thud. It seems to have shocked the other four members of the group because there's a moment of hesitation. A small hole burns right between her eyes and thick, sticky blood begins to pool underneath her braid. Her eyes remain open, staring lifelessly at the ceiling.
Ellie is still on the floor, but the man who knocked her down isn't paying attention. You shoot him in the knee and step into the room. Behind you, the man shouts and drops to the floor. You hear the sickening sound of Ellie's switchblade sink wetly into his ear, then the yelling stops.
It feels like you're on autopilot. Like you are barely aware of what you're doing. You feel shockingly calm. Looking back on it, you chalk it up to some primal, baser instinct. You've always heard people are capable of doing impossible things when they are under extreme duress.
This was one of those times.
Ellie clambers to her feet behind you. You can hear her fumbling with her gun, but you pay it no mind.
Three people left.
There's a woman with no hair reaching for a gun leaning against the fireplace. You exhale steadily and take aim ā another loud blast, dark red blood sprays the light stone wall, and another heavy body hits the floor.
The last remaining man and woman begin to scream.
The girl with the black hair and bangs charges you with a knife. You turn, expression blank, and raise your gun, but Ellie gets there first.
A bullet lodges itself into the side of her head. You see her face go slack and her eyes roll back before she crumples to the ground. Warm mist sprays you, covers your face and neck, but you don't care.
You swivel on your heel when you hear footsteps running towards the door. The last man. He kind of looked like Tommy, you notice idly. You roll your shoulder, loosening it up, and raise your gun.
You feel completely at peace when you pull the trigger and your bullet sails through the final man's cheek. He yelps and falls to the ground. He stays alive for about thirty seconds, howling in pain, until finally his body stills and silence fills the room.
It was done. Not what you expected to do today, but it's what you trained for ā the unexpected. To do what it takes to save your own.
"Oh, shit," Ellie says, holstering her gun and rushing across the room. You turn, heart rate spiking when you snap out of your haze. Ellie is crouching over Joel on the floor. She is hovering over his leg and it's only then when you notice blood pooling underneath him.
"Joel!" you cry out, dropping your gun to rush to his side. With an indescribable amount of relief, you notice aside from the fucking shotgun that blew a hole in his knee, he's otherwise untouched.
"Theyā they wrapped it up," he stammers. You look and see the belt wrapped tightly around his leg for the first time. You frown, confused, but shake it off.
"Okay," you breathe, "can you walk?"
He nods but his face is prickled with sweat and he looks pale.
"We got the horses downstairs. We- you can ride back with me. We'll be alright," you assure him with a small smile. Next to you, Ellie jumps up. She rushes over to Dina and begins to shake her shoulders, yelling her name.
"She's gonna be out for a bit," Joel grits. You lean down and offer him your shoulder. He wraps an arm around you and you hook your own arms under his to pull him up with a loud groan. He makes a pained sound but he finally is able to stand, leaning against you with his wounded leg hovering in the air.
"They sedated her," Joel explained when Ellie shot him a panicked look. Dina looked pale too, but she was breathing.
"Why?" Ellie asked. Joel shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut.
"Can we talk 'bout this later?"
"Ellie, help me get him down to the horses," you say. She begrudgingly stands and gives Dina one more look. "We'll get him on mine and then come back for Dina," you assure her. She nods and ducks underneath Joel's other arm, supporting his weight as all three of you slowly make your way down the stairs to the horses.
It takes a while, but when you have both of them ready, you finally are ready to leave behind the nightmare you almost walked into.
"Jackson," Joel says weakly behind you. You're leading your horse down the mountain, towards the town currently engulfed in flames. You swallow and square your shoulders.
"Tommy's there," you say confidently, "he knows what to do. I'mā I'm sure it's fine."
Half a mile passes in the worst blizzard you've seen in years before Joel speaks again.
"You saved me."
You stiffen but otherwise remain silent, focused on the trail ahead. So he speaks again.
"She was gonna kill me," he continues. Tears well in your eyes and you shake your head.
"But she didn't."
His grip around your middle tightens.
"I killed her father," he adds solemnly. You shrug.
"We've all killed people."
A beat passes between you.
"Her father wasā was the doctor."
It takes you a moment, but you connect the dots. You remember what Joel told you about that day in Salt Lake City. What he did to save Ellie. What he swore he would do again, if given the chance. A decision you agreed with and still do.
"Well," you sigh, "it was either them or us."
"I deserved it," he says firmly. You nearly turn around a deck him, but you stop yourself.
"Shut the fuck up, Joel."
"It's true," he urges.
"I don't give a shit," you seethe over your shoulder. "We all do bad shit to save the ones we love. It's the world we live in now. Anyone in your position would have done the same thing."
Joel goes quiet again and you glance to the side. Ellie is nearby but the wind is too loud. She can't hear you. Besides, she's too worried about Dina to care.
"Would you have done it?"
"What?" you scoff, "kill whoever stood in my way to protect the one I love?"
You feel him nod against your back.
"Isn't that what I just did?"
You steer your horse through the trees. You're about halfway to Jackson now. The fires have almost been put out. Whatever happened is coming to an end. The next few months will require a lot of work, a lot of rebuilding. Your lives are all once again forever changed, but you've been through worse.
Everything will be fine.
"C'mon," you say to Joel, "let's get you home."
This is what happened i refuse any other ending
