My Dear Diary... @fantabularasa - Tumblr Blog

#Palinocka #Krasnystaw

My mother has departed this vale of tears — I hope to The Good Place, and that she has plenty of frozen yogurt there. The priest made no mention of it in his farewell homily, though he might simply have forgotten, being busy explaining to the mourners where crosses rightfully belong: in schools and public offices. At the funeral I also learned that as an atheist I am a mindless creature incapable of rational thought, and at the wake that as the new lady of the house I must now slave over a hot stove and bear children. Yes, my mother has surely gone to The Good Place — The Bad Place is right here.

#Lublin

In the 12th episode of the second season of "Georgie & Mandy’s First Marriage" an interesting verbal interaction took place. He said that God is male. She said that God could be female. And this sparked a big debate, both within the show and online, aimed at determining whether it's acceptable to offend the religious sensitivities of people who believe that God is male by suggesting they might be mistaken. No one asked whether it is acceptable to offend the religious sensitivities of people who believe that God is female by telling them that they are definitely mistaken. Only one thing seems crystal clear: it's not acceptable to offend the religious feelings of people who believe that God is. Not a little. Not at all. Just not. Even eye-rolling is out of the question – which is rather unfortunate for me personally, as I happen to have a squint.

#tv series

#Česko

I’ve heard that wine consumption in France has dropped significantly. A friend of ours, who lives there, is currently vacationing abroad. It’s possible that these two things are connected.

#Wien

Today I watched "Twister", a movie about people hunting tornadoes and tornadoes hunting people. Spoiler alert: the tornadoes won by a landslide. This blockbuster was described as a disaster film — I thought that was its genre, but it turned out to be a review. Long story short: there was action and distraction and even romantic attraction, but no sense in any of it. The most absurd scene to me was the one when a woman helping tornado victims offers food to another woman helping tornado victims instead of giving it to the actual tornado victims — and the offer is refused, even though it included Fritos. Special effects: 10/10. Realism: 1/10.

#movies

#Slovensko

Today I watched "M3gan", a movie about Chucky’s cousin. My fiancé, who watched it first, promised me it wouldn’t be a horror — but it was a horror. They were removing toppings from pizza. I had to close my eyes, I couldn't watch. On top of the toppings, there were several murders, several attempted murders and the dog went to doggy heaven. There was also a Texas chainsaw-style massacre. Hammers, glasses, screwdrivers were flying everywhere. A paper cutter also turned out to have many practical uses. Long story short: quite the MMA match. Luckily, in the end [SPOILER ALERT!] the bloodthirsty doll was finally taken out and now we can all sleep peacefully. Its victims can sleep peacefully too — only longer.

#movies

#Warszawa

New chickens have moved into our farm. For now we don’t let them go out, because we’re afraid they might take off, but as soon as they develop Stockholm Syndrome, we’ll introduce them to the rest of the zoo gang and their professional duties. It’s not like living here is free — the tenants have to earn their keep. The cats provide feline therapy, the cow provides milk, the rooster serves as an alarm clock and the chickens’ responsibility will soon be egg production. As part of our employment agreement we guarantee that the profile of our farm’s business won’t change to producing bouillon cubes. I once saw "Chicken Run". I don't need to see a sequel.

#Česko

I told my fiancé that using phone before bed makes it harder to fall asleep. A doctor also told him that using phone before bed makes it harder to fall asleep. Then the internet confirmed it too — using phone before bed, no doubt about it, makes it harder to fall asleep. Today, after years of struggling with insomnia, he suddenly announced that he has begun to suspect that using phone before bed makes it harder to fall asleep. How did he come to this conclusion? The mystery remains unsolved.

That’s a wrap on the eleventh season of "MasterChef". The eleventh MasterChef is [spoiler censored]. At the end of this entire culinary rollercoaster the narrator announced that there can be only one MasterChef. And just a moment ago there were eleven of them. What happened to the other ten? Were they killed? I thought MasterChef was supposed to be a peaceful entertainment show, but it turns out it’s just another "Squid Game."

#TV series

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