On Pearlâs âcommunication issuesâ
so, uhâthe fact that Pearl felt like she had to resort to repairing the escape pod, rebuilding the Communication Hub, and potentially putting the entire planet at riskâŠto get Garnet to fuse with her again.
itâs a brighter and more blaring signal that sheâs neurodivergent and mentally ill, yes, but along with her behavior in âWe Need to Talkââi.e. clearly feeling jealous and uncomfortable about Gregâs presence in Roseâs/their life, yet not (to our knowledge) voicing or discussing this with Roseâalso firmly establishes that Pearl hasâŠI guess âcommunication issuesâ would be the closest term, but I also feel like that really ought to be elaborated upon?
given what weâve learned about Pearlâs low self-worth, I canât read Pearlâs inability to communicate her wants and needs as stemming from anywhere else but a fear of rejection. not just the immediate rejection of âNo Pearl, I wonât fuse with youââŠbut the rejection of her entire self. the unshakeable anxiety, fear, certainty that if she bothers the people around her too much by communicating her feelings, desires, wants, or needs to themâthey will become annoyed enough to stop tolerating her presence.
Garnet: Itâs you and me, Pearl. Letâs fuse.
Pearl: (starts crying)
Garnet: Donât cry, Pearl.
Pearl: (forces herself to smile)
Pearl loves fusing with Garnet so much that she is literally moved to tears. yet even though she didnât mean to, Garnetâs reaction to Pearlâs happiness and reliefâGarnetâs change in tone from happy and gentle to still gentle but slightly exasperated; Garnetâs change in expressionâcommunicate to Pearl that sheâs being too desperate, that sheâs bothering Garnet by cryingâŠso she forces herself to smile.
we know very little about Homeworld at this point, but we do know that Pearl is considered âdefectiveâ. that defectiveness carries a sociopolitical stigma that leads gems to experience marginalization and oppression on Homeworld isnât that much of a stretch when you consider Pearlâs character as a whole: her low self-worth, her unconditional devotion and love for Rose (the gem who loved and saw the beauty in everything), her prioritization of the people she loves most and feels loved by over her own safety and well-beingâŠ.
so even though Rose loved Pearl and made her feel like she was everythingâŠeven though Pearl saw just as clearly as we did that Garnet loved forming Sardonyx with her and genuinely loves being in her presenceâPearl was still unable to ask Garnet to fuse with her again just because sheâs lonely, or because she feels unloved, or because becoming one with Garnet as Sardonyx makes her feel secure, and loved, and powerful. those reasons obviously arenât good enough; if Pearl voiced them, then Garnet would only get annoyed with her for asking and want to be around her less.
thatâs where the need to manufacture such a dire justification stems from. (because Garnet couldnât possibly want to fuse with her otherwiseâŠ) Pearl knows itâs wrong too. by the second time she repairs the Communication Hub, sheâs overcome by anxiety and dread and guilt over being discovered and lying to Garnet. yet despite all that, Pearl did it, and kept up the charade. thatâs the force of her repressed wants and needsâso strong that her need for relief is almost like a compulsion.
if you recognize some of this behavior from earlier episodes like âOn the Runâ and âReformedâ, then youâre right on trackâŠ.because Amethyst recognizes herself in Pearl too.
Amethyst: I know what sheâs doingâŠ.
Steven: You do�
remember how in âOn the Runâ, Pearl revealed that Amethyst had never told her that she believed herself to be a mistake before their confrontation? remember how in âReformedâ, Amethyst was unable to answer the Crying Breakfast Friends quiz honestly because she didnât want to think about herself, or give Steven the âwrongâ answer? remember how Amethyst kept reforming in forms that she thought Garnet would approve of while trying not to betray that Garnetâs approval was what she wanted?
yeah. thatâs why Amethyst understood Pearl. thatâs why Amethyst stepped in to defend Pearl even though Pearl used Garnet and broke her trust.
ofc, Amethystâs behavior and Pearlâs behavior both manifest in different ways and stem from slightly different places tooâŠbut at their core they both revolve around a fear of showing others (or themselves) their true selves, lest they be rejected for it.
I hope that âCry for Helpâ not only kicks off a relationship-mending arc for Pearl and Garnet, but a deepening of empathy and mutual support for Pearl and Amethyst.
when thinking about Pearl, I feel itâs so important to remember that it is unspeakably difficult to work through internalized marginalization and oppression. Pearlâs need for external validation, reassurance, and loveâwhether itâs from Rose, Garnet, Steven, or Amethystâdoes not make her a âtoxic,â âunhealthy,â or âabusiveâ person; it makes Pearl someone who needs support, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with needing support, or loving someone who needs support.Â
but Pearl did take it to a harmful extent this episode. the way Pearl used Garnet and broke her trust are not justifiable in the leastâŠbut theyâre understandable.Â
I think one of the big obstacles that Garnet will have to surmount before she can forgive Pearl has everything to do with the empathy that came so naturally to Amethyst. because she literally embodies Ruby and Sapphireâs love, Garnet has never experienced the lack of self-esteem, insecurity, and anxiety that Pearl and Amethyst contend with constantly.Â
to forgive Pearl, Garnet is going to have to make an effort to empathize with both her and Amethyst, becauseâand I feel like we, the fandom, need to internalize this tooâGarnet is not comparable to Amethyst or Pearl. you just cannot hold Amethyst or Pearl to Garnetâs standardâŠbecause they are completely different people, with completely different experiences informing their lives and ways they view the worldâŠ!