Farha

she/her | 21

[joytri]

[farhaa]

I've never experienced a summer love, but if given the chance, I'd desire a love that commences with the sunrise and persists beyond sunset.

[nihilistmaybe]

“Do you think the universe fights for souls to be together? Some things are too strange and strong to be coincidences.”

— Emery Allen (via quotemadness)

[raconteurornot]

what do i name us? eclipse? or chaos?

now that i know, would you let me tell you everything i ever thought about you from day one? would you let me tell you how time slowed down without you, how an hour felt like it went by in a second, how every second seemed like a lifetime, and how each lifetime felt?

i promise i won't let another moment pass by without cherishing it again, because if i did, i would keep looking for another moment like that for all eternity. so tell me, can we rewind time?

✧

what if i said you and i are the sun and the moon? what if i said you were the sunflowers, the bees buzzing around them and you were morning's sunlight peeking through the curtains with its almost sweet warmth, and i said i was the moon's confiscated floodlight, the jasmines that bloomed in the dark and i said i was van gogh's starry night?

would it fall in line with the universe's law to separate thousands of suns and moons to maintain its order? it pains me to say it, and i would never want it to happen, but it fell in line a thousand times before and it will fall in line for you and me. eclipses break that very order. eclipses bring chaos, thus we are nothing but chaos together, we are mayhem too obstinate for the universe to contain.

yet when i closed my eyes and i found my heart swaying with the thrumming of your faint voice resounding in my ears i could have sworn we were seafoam hitting the shoreline, riding on the waves and ebbing away with it, we were the joy of finding a desired possession and the regret of losing it again.

i kept glancing back at you, watching you from afar, wanting to know if you needed someone to hold onto, still kept myself from running to you.

what if there's a shower of meteorites if don't stop myself? what if every order breaks, what if the earth splits and everything falls into chaos, irreplaceable and beyond repair? what if the universe blamed us and you turned your back on me? would i be able to pull myself together if that happens?

can you assume the answer?

if this is how the universe made us to be, to chase and to be chased by, if eclipse was chaos and chaos was us, then i would want to die in your arms, right there and then, so nothing could ever replace my memories of you, so i'd never feel anything again.

and if the heavens made me forget this, forget you, then how pointless is it of the deity to promise me the taste of heaven when i am already burning in the blissful hellfire of your love?

-

your mai:)

[raconteurornot]

a hymn of home and heart

𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚝,

𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍.

𝚒𝚝 𝚏𝚒𝚝𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎, 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎

𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚜, 𝚊𝚜 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚍𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚕𝚎𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚜;

𝚠𝚑𝚢? 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚎,

𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚎,

𝚜𝚘 𝚞𝚗𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚞𝚗𝚗𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎𝚍,

𝚘𝚑, 𝚕𝚘𝚛𝚍, 𝚜𝚘 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚔.

𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚊d 𝚕𝚎𝚏𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝,

𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚕 𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢,

𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚜 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚝,

𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚟𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚟𝚘𝚒𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘, 𝚒𝚝 𝚎𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚎𝚍-

'𝚖𝚢 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚜.'

𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚝, 𝚞𝚗𝚋𝚎𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠𝚗𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚎𝚛,

𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢, 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚙𝚛𝚊𝚢𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛,

'𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚎,

𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚛𝚜, 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚠, 𝚊𝚝 𝚞𝚜,

𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒 𝚝𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚒 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞, 𝚒 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚕?

𝚒 𝚠𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚜, 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚎𝚏𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚕𝚊𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚎𝚍,

𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚎?

𝚒 𝚠𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛, 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚖𝚢 𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚛𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚎𝚞𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚊,

𝚒 𝚊𝚖 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒 𝚊𝚖, 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚖𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎.

𝚒 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚊𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘,

𝚒 𝚜𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎, 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚜

𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒 𝚍𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚏𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚜 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘.

𝚒𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚜 𝚝𝚘𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛,

𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢, 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐

𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚝.

𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚘𝚊𝚍,

𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎,

𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚎.

𝚊𝚜 𝚒 𝚊𝚖 𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎.'

to mia,@farhaa

from mai C:

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