Gosh a fresh start alone somewhere new would be nice. I'm done with people

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@fat-babe-kiki
Gosh a fresh start alone somewhere new would be nice. I'm done with people
My life is good and I can't complain. I'm happy most days. Sometimes I wish I was normal and didn't have a toxic childhood. I'm just so tired and nobody sees it. I miss my mom and just want to be with her.
Dont get me wrong I love my boyfriend and he is a good persom or maybe the words are can be a good person. He definitely has a dark side to him. I know it should scare me and maybe to a small degree it does but overall im not really scared of him. I love the sweet caring side but that dark side of his can be bad. I don't think he would ever leave me. I mean he should im mean ass he'll to him. I know I could leave if I wanted to but it would literally be extremely hard. He already had told me we are never breaking up. He is a good man who has seen alot of traumatic things and experienced them. I just wish he would go get help and fix whatever is bothering him. I just need a safe space to vent. Thank you tumblr.
Happy
Im a Happy camper now. I got him back in my life so we will see how things go. We are friends for now but building something. Man have I missed him.
Im a happy girl now
Im sitting here by the bike trail in hopes I will see you but I know I won't. I hate this. I feel so lost without you.
A poem i wrote
The Echo of Your Heart
The world feels so much quieter, a dull and heavy gray,
Since the light within your gentle eyes has faded far away.
I wander through the echoes of the life we used to know,
Still searching for the steady heart that helped my own heart grow.
I miss the way you loved me, so selfless and so kind,
A soul as bright and beautiful as any I could find.
I miss the sound of laughter, how we’d nearly fall apart,
At jokes that only we understood, etched deep within my heart.
I hold our moments closest: the safety of your chest,
The midnight walks in starlight where my spirit found its rest.
The drives to nowhere special with the music playing high,
Just drifting with the rhythm underneath an endless sky.
But now the seat is empty and the music’s lost its beat,
The pavement feels so lonely now beneath my wandering feet.
I am lost within the shadows, a ship without a shore,
Just aching for the simple grace of you walking through the door.
I miss the everything of you—the giant and the small,
I’d give the world to hear your voice or answer when you call.
My heart is heavy, draped in blue, with a wish that won't subside:
That you’d come back to find me, and stay right by my side.
Would you like me to put this poem onto a background image for you to save?
I dont think anyone understands how broken I really am right now. Im tired of missing him and thinking of him. I never actually knew what love was till him. Its like we were cut from the same cloth. The love I have for him is real and it hurts. I wish I could just stop loving him and move on so easy. No one is him. I tired dating but I would rather being single if I can never have him again. I will never give my heart to another soul...
Why do I miss him so much? I truly just want to move on. I try so hard to get him off my mind. I try to stay busy but at night when it's quiet there he is. Im tired of pretending im happy when im sad and heartbroken on the inside. This feels more like a death then a break up. Almost two months without him! I know its for the best for both of us. I just wish him happiness, peace,and love. Maybe one day my heart will feel less broken but for not a sit in this pain. This is my karma. I miss my sweet man!😭
No one knows how bad I just wish it would end
Just realizing I never actually got over kyler so instead of moving on from paul I'm also moving on from kyler. I shouldn't have started something with someone when I wasn't fully over another. Its okay because I'll get over them both. Really trying 😪
Missing you more then ever right now. I should be over you but deep down I'm a mess. Everything reminds me of you. For one moment I want to stop thinking about you. At the end of the day no matter who I'm with you are always there. We will never be and thats okay. You deserve better then me anyways. I don't deserve someone like you anyways.
I miss you
Ahh why am I even thinking about him? Maybe because my brain isn't distracted by someone else. My brain needs to come to terms with I'm never going to get who I want and that's okay! Thought I was over this person but maybe I'm not. I literally have to force my self to not message them. Gosh I wish things were different but they aren't and that okay. Everything always works out one way or another.
Karma
Don't get shit confused just because my relationship didn't work out doesn't mean my life is down hill and I'm facing karma. Lol facing karma for what?? Lol people were just as controlling. I'm dramatic life is actually pretty good. Got a job, a roof over my head, food in my belly. What I don't have is people trying to control my every move. And fake people always running their mouth because they are miserable people. Lmao 🤣 it's okay because in the end everything is meant to happen for a reason and I'm going to be fine.
Told you so...
Should have listened!
Gosh am I so hard headed and have to find everything ouf the hard way buts that's okay because in the end I'll be okay. Back to be single. It's honestly for the best. I do miss him despite everything. He really wasn't a bad guy he just had problems that he needed to work on. I definitely sure do miss him. I will be okay in time. Life will move on. The seasons will change and everything will be a new.