How do you tell someone you have fallen out of love with them? I feel so much guilt because he is such a good person. I have kept my feelings inside to protect his for months now. I don’t have anyone to help me with this so any advice would be appreciated
Hello anon! I’m extremely sorry for not responding sooner. I’m sure this advice would’ve been more helpful a lot sooner but hopefully this can help any other people in the same situation as you.
First, remember that it’s totally okay that you’re feeling this way, and your feelings are valid. You can’t control the way you feel about someone, so please don’t feel guilty for the way you feel.
I know it’s easier said than done, but I think you should just tell him. It’s cliche, but honesty is the best policy, and I’m sure he’d appreciate hearing the truth about your feelings sooner rather than later. It’s best to tell him now, take some time to process everything, and move on. It may sting now, but it’ll save both of you the trouble of future heartbreak before he gets more invested in the relationship than you.
I understand wanting to protect his feelings, especially because you say that he’s such a good guy, but I believe that the best decision is to ultimately end things now. You have to focus on your feelings and what will be more beneficial for the both of you.
I see it this way: do you think he’d prefer to know that you’ve fallen out of love with him now, experience the emotions of a breakup, and then move on with his life?
do you think he’d prefer to be blissfully unaware that you don’t love him the way he loves you, have him spend days, weeks, months, or even years thinking that you’re enjoying the relationship just as much as he is, only for him to find out further down the line that you were pretending for some time that you still loved him and enjoyed staying in the relationship?
I’m sure that most people would prefer the first choice. Like I said previously, it’ll hurt now, and I totally understand that. I also understand that you don’t want to hurt him, but you have to rip off the band-aid and save yourselves the time and effort of staying together. You shouldn’t feel guilty for this since it’ll most likely be better for you both in the long run.
I hope you were able to find clarity on your situation, anon, and I’m really sorry for not being able to give you some advice sooner. To anyone else in a similar situation, I hope that this gives you some clarity as well and helps you figure out what steps you need to take next. I wish you all the best, you can make it through this:)
