fate-touched

they/them. I make music for gays, jews, and my own ttrpg characters. bandcamp | soundcloud | ko-fi

[fate-touched]

[image description copied from alt text: album art for "Arbor" by Fate-Touched. a painting entirely in shades of purple and orange, showing shadows of trees on the ground. the branches intersect to spell out ARBOR. end id]

ARBOR

a dozen lesbian breakup songs about trees, vampires, and someone who once made me promise never to write a song about them.

listen on bandcamp • soundcloud • spotify

Tracklist:

Midwinter Child [3:19]

Erie [2:58]

Wyckoff and Palmetto [2:29]

Arbor [4:52]

Garlic [2:16]

Things Already Known [3:25]

On Bended Knee [4:57]

Mixed Metaphor Song (Both) [4:09]

Go Without [2:49]

Willow Weep [2:55]

Sophienne [4:14]

Cry Out [4:53]

[fate-touched]

finally made it onto spotify! edited to add link! wahoo!

[fate-touched]

lyrics:

plumb the cavern of my stomach want it open, want it worse scale the mountain to the summit plant no flag to mark the first cast about for little puncture marks and bear down until they weep the stuttered stillness of my heart wake the winter from its sleep

cry out for the morning cry out for a warning

I am better now for having seen the night for prowling through the purple dark until the orange sun has deigned to rise and nobody with sharpened teeth can sink their venom into me I only bear the bite marks I decide

a funhouse full of empty mirrors no one there to warp the glass reflection going ever clearer see right through myself at last kill every wolf to feed the craving I've been younger than I knew declare no promise worthy saving no favors owed, no payments due

cry out for the pack dogs cry out with a slacked jaw

I am better now for having seen the night for prowling through the purple dark until the orange sun has deigned to rise and nobody with sharpened teeth can sink their venom into me I only bear the bite marks I decide

cry out from the hunger cry out like thunder

I am better now for having seen the night for prowling through the purple dark until the fucking sun has deigned to rise and nobody with sharpened teeth can sink their venom into me I only bear the bite marks I decide

cry out for the raw thing cry out for the soft spring cry out for the weaving cry out for the sweet spring cry out for the turning cry out for the yearned spring cry out for the raw thing cry out for the soft spring

[fate-touched]

lyrics:

how long? nursing the cinders one more reason to hate the winter

you on the tiled floor me up on the counter don't know what for

I'm running out of things to say can't shut my mouth come and shut it for me

wrought filigree your forehead pressed to my shoulder inevitably you have got to get older I have got to get over

no more favors make it worse every time that I try no, no opinions double-bitten and triple-shy

drawn the carriage yoked the horses I stood at your back one eye on the sun the other eye checking the date on the carton how long?

you always bite the hand I always pick the scab know what I wanna hear never said it did you, dear?

use the letters with pleasing shapes I wasn't playing coy early dusk overtakes and you're gone again

[fate-touched]

lyrics:

climb tall enough to block the sun behind your silhouette look down from that dizzying height see the small things that you left behind and how far away we get hang your head, drop the curtains, usher artificial night

come on, willow, weep and let me hear it make me believe that it mattered at all come on, willow, weep and let me hear it can't expect a sound from a tear that doesn't fall

dig your roots up from the earth and set them all aflame do your best to breathe around the smoke wrap your hands around my throat and bid me do the same tap out when you've had enough of the beast that you awoke

come on, willow, weep and let me hear it make me believe that it mattered at all come on, willow, weep and let me hear it can't expect a sound from a tear that doesn't fall

looking for your lonely violence I drag myself across the floor trying to scream around your silence 'til I just can't stand it anymore

come on, willow, weep and let me hear it make me believe that it mattered at all come on, willow, weep and let me hear it can't expect a sound from a tear that doesn't fall

[fate-touched]

lyrics:

do you realize how far I'd have gone to give you all of the things that you want? I'd have learned to love that life as long as I were by your side

do you realize what I'd have given up just to be somebody you could've loved? how much I'd allow so you'd never go without?

I put my hands where you asked me to put my hands and I danced when you said that you wanted to dance always follow your lead always give and concede

I offered healing you always refused then made yourself cry pressing at every bruise I'd have kissed away the pain but that wasn't your game

I'd move to Seattle and never get married and take all the weight of the trauma you carried have kids with names that I hated just to see you elated

I put my hands where you asked me to put my hands and I danced when you said that you wanted to dance always follow your lead always give and concede

changed my plans so that they better matched your plans understand what you said I would never understand always let myself bleed always give and always concede

[fate-touched]

lyrics:

I close my eyes and the air around me undulates like plastic sheeting with that warbling sound

maybe my body thinks I'm drunk maybe I'd feel better if I was maybe it'd be softer on the ground

those eyes as deep as graveyard dirt I knew it all, I knew it first somehow the shock still knocked me down

your skin almost translucent catch a glimpse and then I'd lose it when you moved the light around

somebody built you out of snow you'd melt away or keep it cold don't know how you managed both don't know how you managed both

I told my sister all about you every piercing, every tattoo she hasn't asked me where you've gone

I wasn't made for something lasting close my eyes, the air moves past me all your offerings withdrawn

somebody built you out of snow you'd melt away or keep it cold don't know how you managed both don't know how you managed both

somehow I chased away your ghost the windows open, the shutters closed don't know how I managed both don't know how I managed both

[fate-touched]

lyrics:

it didn't bellow out of me the heaving breath of broken men a wracking tremor heaven-bent the weep that drowned the sea

it wasn't a symphonic swell the precipice of something great cracked glass just about to break no legends to retell

no, it was quiet as the wind through the trees quiet as the rotting of the leaves quiet as an oath on bended knee I hope you still heard it, honey

it was easy chewing off my tongue my teeth were made for sinking in for floss and twine and safety pin for songs I swore I'd leave unsung

but you know everything decays erosion runs the edges smooth the champion will always lose dust gathers on the picture frames

oh, it died like the wind through the trees died like the rotting of the leaves died like an oath on bended knee I hope that it haunts you, honey

I still can't rest my head at night there was no lesson to be learned nothing gained and nothing earned no love like fist on bloody knife

but it was honest as the wind through the trees honest as the rotting of the leaves honest as an oath on bended knee I hope you believed it, honey

yeah, it was quiet as the wind through the trees and it died like the rotting of the leaves and it was honest as an oath on bended knee I hope you regret it, honey I hope you regret it, honey I hope you regret it

[fate-touched]

lyrics:

imagined us five years from now in a dark apartment where it always rains with a cat who I'm allergic to and shadows flickering with candleflame imagined myself happy you were happy and that that would be enough and I'd never eat my favorite foods but I'd have you and I'd be so in love

knowing that it wouldn't hold and shouldering it anyway knowing that the bulk of it would crush my spine into the ground someday

imagined us ten years from now drinking lemonade in the backyard sour screaming on my tongue distaste that I'd learned how to disregard two toddlers and a dog somewhere in Jersey and you'd call that compromise but you always planned on coming back here anyway whatever that implies

knowing it's not what I want and swallowing down every last complaint knowing that I never would be recognized for all of my restraint

remembered when six months ago I lost against the ocean wild and blue I struggled for the surface and my lungs cried out for oxygen and you convinced myself I'd be okay if I stopped trying so hard to hold on I knew the end was coming soon no fucking clue you were already gone

knowing that it wouldn't hold and swallowing down all of my spine knowing that my shouldering the ground never would be recognized knowing that I someday would be crushed beneath the bulk of my complaints knowing it's not what I want and throwing off the last of my restraint

[fate-touched]

lyrics:

hand me the knife, babe I'm wailing hungry how many times will you walk away from me? I've left the door unlocked I, I've left the porch light on

disappeared like tissue paper held up to the sun my heart begun my hands begun your mouth rejected every one oh, stick a fork in me, I'm done oh, stick a fork in me, I'm done

you were empty I would have filled you up I was moving you never sat still enough one day you're gonna see the wreck you made of me one day you're gonna feel so fucking guilty

and when you're breaking down asking who's gonna love you now look down at your empty plate and remember all the meals you turned away

I plunge right toward the puncturing I hate the white November brings I see the night in everything I see your bite in everything

[fate-touched]

lyrics:

the way the wind acts on the trees bend a little bit for me freeze the buds and shed the leaves shed the leaves

marmalade bleeding through the gaps as the sun sinks down onto the grass chainsaw shaves portraits of the past of the past

I'll raise my arms and flex my fingers stretch out my toes as far as I can set me ablaze or use me for timber if you'd warm the bed, baby, I'd warm your hands I'll raise my arms and flex my fingers stretch out my toes as far as I can set me ablaze or use me for timber if you'd warm the bed, baby, I'd warm your hands

the winter black and white and grey sing my throat raw as I beg for the day no ushering wind could force you to sway you to sway

crushing velvet and crushing ice sun through the trees hemorrhaging the light you were so many things but never contrite never contrite

I'll raise my arms and flex my fingers stretch out my toes as far as I can set me ablaze or use me for timber if you'd warm the bed, baby, I'd warm your hands I'll raise my arms and flex my fingers stretch out my toes as far as I can set me ablaze or use me for timber if you'd warm the bed, baby, I'd warm your hands

I make a hollow home for sleeping beasts my eyes are always facing east you never loved me in the least in the least

you never loved me in the least in the least

you never loved me in the least

[fate-touched]

lyrics:

it was loud coming up from the subway at Wyckoff and Palmetto where the road is closed and the food carts line the street and I sat down on the curb to watch the sun melt hot and pink between the buildings in my three-piece suit with my backpack by my side my face hidden by a KN95 I was killing time

I was green in the waning light and the wanting made me sick I wanted all of it

purple flowers grew in someone's window box with their stems curled around the iron bars I asked you what they are you said you'd always dreamed of surprising your butch with a bouquet and you didn't answer me I failed to find a flower I would like and I ate my weight in blueberries that night

I was green in the waning light and the wanting made me sick I wanted all of it

you said you planned to kiss me first to catch me by surprise make the joke before my tongue unties I wrote a lullaby for the bats with open mouths and bloody tongues while I stalked the Brooklyn grunge she asked what was stopping me from getting on a plane I had nothing to say

I was green in the waning light and the wanting made me sick I wanted all of it I was green in the waning light and the wanting made me sick I wanted all of it

[fate-touched]

lyrics:

spit out from the plane no sleep, nothing cogent to say feeling almost deranged cherry syrup flowing through my veins hands out for my babe hope she tells me how it tastes neck bared for my babe hope she tells me how it tastes

I think there's something living in the lake and I am gonna make a Great mistake find the place where monsters hide I see a cave, I'll go inside she's gonna have a piece of me tonight

dancing over the line I'm leather-bound as she splits my spine feeling almost sublime do anything to have this all the time demonic divine hope she tells me she's all mine choked out the divine hope she tells me she's all mine

I think there's something living in the lake and I am gonna make a Great mistake find the place where monsters hide I see a cave, I'll go inside she's gonna have a piece of me tonight there must be something lurking in the trees I bet it's gonna send me to my knees gouges made by sharpened claws I was never one to beat the odds and she's gonna catch me in her jaws

she picks me clean returns me from the dream not as bad as it seems I can almost believe she says what she means leave my bones in Superior seas hold her down when she says please I have lived through darker nights than these

I think there's something living in the lake and I am gonna make a Great mistake find the place where monsters hide I see a cave, I'll go inside she's gonna have a piece of me tonight there must be something lurking in the trees I bet it's gonna send me to my knees gouges made by sharpened claws I was never one to beat the odds and she's gonna catch me in her jaws she's gonna catch me in her jaws she's gonna catch me in her jaws

[fate-touched]

lyrics:

I was taller than I'd ever been nights as long as our slanted shadows every breath pulled taut and thin every flock of birds fleeing the gallows and the water drained of all its blue the depths like Cabernet and twice as bitter my broken compass pointed straight to you you know a flower frozen solid doesn't wither

I found no solace in the snow refraction just could not replace the light midwinter child, baby, you brought the cold and I could not stop walking if I tried

foreclosure on every tree empty nests, tenants flown south frigid wind coursing through me I looked for warmth in your mouth every sunrise a bloodshot thing every violence a cradling hand opened my throat and I tried to sing but a gaping throat is all that I am

I found no solace in the snow refraction just could not replace the light midwinter child, baby, you brought the cold and I could not stop walking if I tried

the branches fixed to shiver I hoped you would tremble in my hands all your promises the dark could not deliver that velvet voice so bestial and grand, oh

I found no solace in the snow refraction just could not replace the light midwinter child, baby, you brought the cold and I could not stop walking if I tried

I found no solace in the snow refraction just could not replace the light midwinter child, baby, you brought the cold and I could not stop walking if I tried

[fate-touched]

Visit Original Link

bandcamp | soundcloud | spotify

lyrics:

plumb the cavern of my stomach want it open, want it worse scale the mountain to the summit plant no flag to mark the first cast about for little puncture marks and bear down until they weep the stuttered stillness of my heart wake the winter from its sleep

cry out for the morning cry out for a warning

I am better now for having seen the night for prowling through the purple dark until the orange sun has deigned to rise and nobody with sharpened teeth can sink their venom into me I only bear the bite marks I decide

a funhouse full of empty mirrors no one there to warp the glass reflection going ever clearer see right through myself at last kill every wolf to feed the craving I've been younger than I knew declare no promise worthy saving no favors owed, no payments due

cry out for the pack dogs cry out with a slacked jaw

I am better now for having seen the night for prowling through the purple dark until the orange sun has deigned to rise and nobody with sharpened teeth can sink their venom into me I only bear the bite marks I decide

cry out from the hunger cry out like thunder

I am better now for having seen the night for prowling through the purple dark until the fucking sun has deigned to rise and nobody with sharpened teeth can sink their venom into me I only bear the bite marks I decide

cry out for the raw thing cry out for the soft spring cry out for the weaving cry out for the sweet spring cry out for the turning cry out for the yearned spring cry out for the raw thing cry out for the soft spring

[fate-touched]

Visit Original Link

bandcamp | soundcloud | spotify

lyrics:

how long? nursing the cinders one more reason to hate the winter

you on the tiled floor me up on the counter don't know what for

I'm running out of things to say can't shut my mouth come and shut it for me

wrought filigree your forehead pressed to my shoulder inevitably you have got to get older I have got to get over

no more favors make it worse every time that I try no, no opinions double-bitten and triple-shy

drawn the carriage yoked the horses I stood at your back one eye on the sun the other eye checking the date on the carton how long?

you always bite the hand I always pick the scab know what I wanna hear never said it did you, dear?

use the letters with pleasing shapes I wasn't playing coy early dusk overtakes and you're gone again

[fate-touched]

Visit Original Link

bandcamp | soundcloud | spotify

lyrics:

climb tall enough to block the sun behind your silhouette look down from that dizzying height see the small things that you left behind and how far away we get hang your head, drop the curtains, usher artificial night

come on, willow, weep and let me hear it make me believe that it mattered at all come on, willow, weep and let me hear it can't expect a sound from a tear that doesn't fall

dig your roots up from the earth and set them all aflame do your best to breathe around the smoke wrap your hands around my throat and bid me do the same tap out when you've had enough of the beast that you awoke

come on, willow, weep and let me hear it make me believe that it mattered at all come on, willow, weep and let me hear it can't expect a sound from a tear that doesn't fall

looking for your lonely violence I drag myself across the floor trying to scream around your silence 'til I just can't stand it anymore

come on, willow, weep and let me hear it make me believe that it mattered at all come on, willow, weep and let me hear it can't expect a sound from a tear that doesn't fall

[fate-touched]

Visit Original Link

bandcamp | soundcloud | spotify

lyrics:

do you realize how far I'd have gone to give you all of the things that you want? I'd have learned to love that life as long as I were by your side

do you realize what I'd have given up just to be somebody you could've loved? how much I'd allow so you'd never go without?

I put my hands where you asked me to put my hands and I danced when you said that you wanted to dance always follow your lead always give and concede

I offered healing you always refused then made yourself cry pressing at every bruise I'd have kissed away the pain but that wasn't your game

I'd move to Seattle and never get married and take all the weight of the trauma you carried have kids with names that I hated just to see you elated

I put my hands where you asked me to put my hands and I danced when you said that you wanted to dance always follow your lead always give and concede

changed my plans so that they better matched your plans understand what you said I would never understand always let myself bleed always give and always concede