Countess Nosferatu

Not really!!!

[mathprofessorquotes]

Professor: So, what should you feel when you see the derivative of arctan(x)?

Student: Fear.

Professor: That will come in a later unit.

[oneterabyteofkilobyteage]

original url http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Village/3149/

last modified 2004-06-13 10:07:55

[aheahead]

[tincanforest]

[harborpointeblvd]

This is on Webtoon and it's incredible

[fatemamelg]

[le-immorte]

[fatemamelg]

Ex-Libris

Visit the post for more.

[fatemamelg]

(via GIPHY)

[mathprofessorquotes]

There was some struggle with…arithmetic.

Calculus TA (via mathprofessorquotes)

[lizmamont]

When we lay wide awake with dread / And all find peaceful sleep has fled / The children whimper in their bed / Above them Giggling Kate does tread

[mrhipp]

[pandora]

writing “sorry” at the bottom of your math test

[hardlocke]

Out of context math quotes that sort of made sense in context

“The outer sides of my butterfly wings are isomorphisms.” (Topology professor on a commutative diagram)

“This is the topology we grew up with.” (Topology professor on the metric-induced topology on IR^n)

„You don’t have to know anything. You just gotta know the name of the first number. And that’s zero.“ (Logic professor on arithmetic)

“The determinant is not man-made but God-given.” (Algebra professor on why the determinant is turning up everywhere)

“Mathematical definitions are like jewels. You can’t just put them in your pocket.” (Logic professor trying to explain math to a bunch of first-year linguists)

Add your own!

[the-axiom-of-choice]

“0’ will tell you the answer if you ask it nicely.”

-Incompleteness Professor on Turing Degrees

“WE DO NOT SPEAK HIS NAME IN THIS CLASSROOM”

-Forcing Professor when asked about Grothendieck universes

“Literally no one cares about any of this”

-Set Theory Professor

“A series of shrinking dicks”

-He meant to say shrinking DISKS

“I know what’s in the tree. You don’t know what’s in the tree. If you want to know what’s in the tree, you need to ask me. I can tell you if you ask correctly. Ask me what’s in the tree. Go ahead. Maybe I’ll tell you.”

-Incompleteness Professor, again

“Sorry I misspoke. I have a fever and therefore the concentration abilities of an oyster.”

-Proof theory prof. This one isn’t directly Math related but it’s so cute, I’ve been meaning to post it.

“I’m 99% sure I’m going to die from driving on a bridge that one of my students designed.”

-Diff Eq Professor, while lecturing about bridges + engineering

I’ll post more if I remember them, there have been so many good ones

[zoueriemandzijnopmars]

-“A continuous function can be a bit wild. But a linear function is cute and small.” Linear algebra professor on finding the least squares solution of a random continuous function with respect to a linear subspace.

-(wildly paraphrasing here) “This is the definition off an integral of a function from R to R^n, but nobody uses that. Do I need to give an example?” *scoffs* “Nah, it is useless.” Calculus professor

[zoueriemandzijnopmars]

I came across this post again in my blog, and I have more (I’ve been collecting them in the notes folder on my phone, and since it’s the end of the year I’ll share the best ones):

“If you use this notation you don’t have to baptise the function”

-Linear Algebra professor

“This function is so flat at x=0, it is flatter than the Netherlands.”

- Analysis professor

“It is actually illegal, but it works and that is the most important thing.”

-Ordinary Differential Equations (ODE) professor (same as the analysis one)

“And this is the magical function!”

-ODE professor

“You’d become a random variable.”

-Statistics professor

“y is a really dangerous name, because soon everything will be called y.”

-Statistics professor

“I do not mean to criticise mathematics, but…”

-Statistics professor (that man was a gem)

“If you approach on a spider you don’t get a limit at all.”

-Complex analysis professor

“infinity is not a very convenient place, (…) so we’re going to bring infinity to 0 which is a much more convenient place”

-Complex analysis professor

“Of course, desires can be contradictory, I want to be rich and an academic.”

-Modal logic professor

And one that is not necessarily out of context, but just fun:

“Proof: Later. q.e.d.”

-A phd student wrote this on the board when he was filling in for our sick group theory professor.

And my very favourites (one isn’t necessarily math related):

“I just really don’t have any desire to compute that rubbish.”

“I’m not gonna answer questions in French anymore.”

-Probability theory TA (the first was about an integral, and he said it in Dutch and I just can’t properly translate the feeling of contempt that was part of the original sentence)

[zoueriemandzijnopmars]

Hey hey here I am again. Since it’s almost the start of the new school year I have a fresh selection of quotes.

“A foton has no time to realise it exists.”

“I was killed many years ago. By a statement. The teaching assistants were shaken too, they fell of the chair.”

“There will be intervals, but they have the legal right to have an extra property.”

“Without loss of generality - these are my formula’s I write what I want.”

-Metric Spaces professor

“I just made the thing as bad as I could without making it too bad.”

“Let’s hope the projection work otherwise I’LL DRAW EVERYTHING! - YOU’VE BEEN LUCKY!

-PDE professor 1

“Your IQ decreases by proximity to a blackboard.”

-PDE professor 2

“My first strategy with PDE’s: can I avoid them?”

-Guest lecturer

“Gauss had a big ego.”

“Just imagine I am shouting. If we had a lecture at 11 in the morning I might as well have, now I’m too tired.”

“What does it mean to be a diffeomorphism? … It’s a homeomorphism on steroids if you want.”

“It can do lots of rubbish but not too much.”

“Adding zero and multiplying with zero is the most important thing in mathematics, you can do basically everything.”

“Then we do what we always do, namely redefining the same thing in 10 different ways.”

“They should invent self-cleaning boards.”

-Geometry professor who is actually the same as PDE prof 1

[peacefield]

season 3 script summaries (nick)

first of all - special thanks to reddit user cablab123 and @dystopiandramaqueen​​ for making phonecalls to the writer’s guild that resulted in them getting the season 3 scripts from the studios this soon 💖 we have these because of you!

just to clarify, these notes are about nick scenes only. am i biased? yes. will i go back and read the rest? i don’t know. i didn’t like this season, so i don’t have much energy for it. but i did read the other cut scenes which i will summarize in another post later. this one is about nick.

reminder that anything i put in quotes is direct phrasing from the scripts. however there are copyright laws in place, which is why i can’t provide copies or photos. edited to add: because i’ve seen some doubts about my authenticity, click here for proof.

i do accept questions, but i will only respond if i have an answer. i may come back and respond eventually if i find the answer on a future library trip.

possible spoiler warning: there are 2 cut scenes in here which may or may not be considered spoilery if they use them in season 4. the cut scene from 3x12 in particular could be a big indicator of what’s to come next season.

finally - please do not share this post without my permission, and thank you in advance for respecting my wishes.

Keep reading

[dankmemeuniversity]

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