Professor: So, what should you feel when you see the derivative of arctan(x)?
Student: Fear.
Professor: That will come in a later unit.
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@fatemamelg
Professor: So, what should you feel when you see the derivative of arctan(x)?
Student: Fear.
Professor: That will come in a later unit.
original url http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Village/3149/
last modified 2004-06-13 10:07:55
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There was some struggle withâŠarithmetic.
Calculus TA (via mathprofessorquotes)
When we lay wide awake with dread / And all find peaceful sleep has fled / The children whimper in their bed / Above them Giggling Kate does tread
writing âsorryâ at the bottom of your math test
Out of context math quotes that sort of made sense in context
âThe outer sides of my butterfly wings are isomorphisms.â (Topology professor on a commutative diagram)
âThis is the topology we grew up with.â (Topology professor on the metric-induced topology on IR^n)
âYou donât have to know anything. You just gotta know the name of the first number. And thatâs zero.â (Logic professor on arithmetic)
âThe determinant is not man-made but God-given.â (Algebra professor on why the determinant is turning up everywhere)
âMathematical definitions are like jewels. You canât just put them in your pocket.â (Logic professor trying to explain math to a bunch of first-year linguists)
Add your own!
â0â will tell you the answer if you ask it nicely.â
-Incompleteness Professor on Turing Degrees
âWE DO NOT SPEAK HIS NAME IN THIS CLASSROOMâ
-Forcing Professor when asked about Grothendieck universes
âLiterally no one cares about any of thisâ
-Set Theory Professor
âA series of shrinking dicksâ
-He meant to say shrinking DISKS
âI know whatâs in the tree. You donât know whatâs in the tree. If you want to know whatâs in the tree, you need to ask me. I can tell you if you ask correctly. Ask me whatâs in the tree. Go ahead. Maybe Iâll tell you.â
-Incompleteness Professor, again
âSorry I misspoke. I have a fever and therefore the concentration abilities of an oyster.â
-Proof theory prof. This one isnât directly Math related but itâs so cute, Iâve been meaning to post it.
âIâm 99% sure Iâm going to die from driving on a bridge that one of my students designed.â
-Diff Eq Professor, while lecturing about bridges + engineering
Iâll post more if I remember them, there have been so many good ones
-âA continuous function can be a bit wild. But a linear function is cute and small.â Linear algebra professor on finding the least squares solution of a random continuous function with respect to a linear subspace.
-(wildly paraphrasing here) âThis is the definition off an integral of a function from R to R^n, but nobody uses that. Do I need to give an example?â *scoffs* âNah, it is useless.â Calculus professor
I came across this post again in my blog, and I have more (Iâve been collecting them in the notes folder on my phone, and since itâs the end of the year Iâll share the best ones):
âIf you use this notation you donât have to baptise the functionâ
-Linear Algebra professor
âThis function is so flat at x=0, it is flatter than the Netherlands.â
- Analysis professor
âIt is actually illegal, but it works and that is the most important thing.â
-Ordinary Differential Equations (ODE) professor (same as the analysis one)
âAnd this is the magical function!â
-ODE professor
âYouâd become a random variable.â
-Statistics professor
ây is a really dangerous name, because soon everything will be called y.â
-Statistics professor
âI do not mean to criticise mathematics, butâŠâ
-Statistics professor (that man was a gem)
âIf you approach on a spider you donât get a limit at all.â
-Complex analysis professor
âinfinity is not a very convenient place, (âŠ) so weâre going to bring infinity to 0 which is a much more convenient placeâ
-Complex analysis professor
âOf course, desires can be contradictory, I want to be rich and an academic.â
-Modal logic professor
And one that is not necessarily out of context, but just fun:
âProof: Later. q.e.d.â
-A phd student wrote this on the board when he was filling in for our sick group theory professor.
And my very favourites (one isnât necessarily math related):
âI just really donât have any desire to compute that rubbish.â
âIâm not gonna answer questions in French anymore.â
-Probability theory TA (the first was about an integral, and he said it in Dutch and I just canât properly translate the feeling of contempt that was part of the original sentence)
Hey hey here I am again. Since itâs almost the start of the new school year I have a fresh selection of quotes.
âA foton has no time to realise it exists.â
âI was killed many years ago. By a statement. The teaching assistants were shaken too, they fell of the chair.â
âThere will be intervals, but they have the legal right to have an extra property.â
âWithout loss of generality - these are my formulaâs I write what I want.â
-Metric Spaces professor
âI just made the thing as bad as I could without making it too bad.â
âLetâs hope the projection work otherwise IâLL DRAW EVERYTHING! - YOUâVE BEEN LUCKY!
-PDE professor 1
âYour IQ decreases by proximity to a blackboard.â
-PDE professor 2
âMy first strategy with PDEâs: can I avoid them?â
-Guest lecturer
âGauss had a big ego.â
âJust imagine I am shouting. If we had a lecture at 11 in the morning I might as well have, now Iâm too tired.â
âWhat does it mean to be a diffeomorphism? ⊠Itâs a homeomorphism on steroids if you want.â
âIt can do lots of rubbish but not too much.â
âAdding zero and multiplying with zero is the most important thing in mathematics, you can do basically everything.â
âThen we do what we always do, namely redefining the same thing in 10 different ways.â
âThey should invent self-cleaning boards.â
-Geometry professor who is actually the same as PDE prof 1
season 3 script summaries (nick)
first of all - special thanks to reddit user cablab123 and @dystopiandramaqueenââ for making phonecalls to the writerâs guild that resulted in them getting the season 3 scripts from the studios this soon đ we have these because of you!
just to clarify, these notes are about nick scenes only. am i biased? yes. will i go back and read the rest? i donât know. i didnât like this season, so i donât have much energy for it. but i did read the other cut scenes which i will summarize in another post later. this one is about nick.
reminder that anything i put in quotes is direct phrasing from the scripts. however there are copyright laws in place, which is why i canât provide copies or photos. edited to add: because iâve seen some doubts about my authenticity, click here for proof.
i do accept questions, but i will only respond if i have an answer. i may come back and respond eventually if i find the answer on a future library trip.
possible spoiler warning: there are 2 cut scenes in here which may or may not be considered spoilery if they use them in season 4. the cut scene from 3x12 in particular could be a big indicator of whatâs to come next season.
finally - please do not share this post without my permission, and thank you in advance for respecting my wishes.
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