Independent RP blog for characters in danmei, anime, video games and more. Mature and dead dove do not eat content.
See below for characters, ships and writer info.

bliss lane

@theartofmadeline
YOU ARE THE REASON
we're not kids anymore.
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Sade Olutola
Jules of Nature

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The Stonewall Inn
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EXPECTATIONS
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@fateofflames
Independent RP blog for characters in danmei, anime, video games and more. Mature and dead dove do not eat content.
See below for characters, ships and writer info.
"šµš ššš šš ššš ššššš ššššš ššš šššš ššš; šššš ššš šššš šššš , šššš ššš šššš šššššššš."
They make me so unwellā¦. You Honor, they are so in love šAnd no I won't apologize for pulling that quote
Now more than ever--- actually, perhaps for the very first time, Megumi wished he had the ability to freeze time. He wanted THIS moment for all of his life. To see Yuji so wrapped in sleepy bliss and comfort, completely forgetting the obligations of the day, was the most beautiful and addicting sight. If Megumi wasn't already convinced he discovered what love actually was, this moment perfectly captured his feelings. Now a believer of love, perhaps other things he believed impossible were probable.
Yuji could have been an angel; he and Tsumiki were prime examples of beautiful and selfless people. He HAD to wake up Yuji, but the small part of him which was unraveling the complicated thing of love wished he kept the man sleeping, just so he could watch. It made his heart almost sick, near aching with the perfection of the other man. Megumi saw the moment when realization clicked, so he stepped away to give Yuji ample space to, what he assumed, freak out.
More than anything Megumi was worried his friend would have regrets over the implication of sharing a bed with another man. Instead Yuji was focused on work. Although good, it also made Megumi feel guilty for not waking earlier. Megumi could have done whatever he wanted being Satoru's mentee, but Sunflower had a job and reputation. Satoru would be alright with it, but there were many people between Satoru and Yuji. It caused his guts to twist with enough anxiety that he wasn't able to laugh or smiled at his friend's antics. He forced his expression to be soft which wasn't the hardest task when a breathless and innocent Yuji tumbled into his bed. HIS bed.
āI'll have to get a pile of straw...ā
He said to lighten the mood. AS IF there was another possibility of sharing a bed.
āYour clothes are in my washroom. I'll get another pitcher of water for you, and a plate of breakfast so you can rush out.ā
Megumi was about to leave the bedroom when he remembered his own state-- hair flattened from sleep and night under clothes still being worn. He should've changed, but then that would've been worse for Yuji. It was too late now. He stepped out and found a pitcher of water waiting by the doorway, so he promptly bent over to pick it up and bring it inside for Yuji.
āHere you are. I can get more if you'd like.ā
Awkwardly he waited for Yuji to enter the washroom as he hovered beside the door of his bedroom. When his friend went inside, he moved like a rocket to take off his sleep wear and put on some semblance of a decent outfit, enough to look not like a mess. He wiped the sleep from his eyes as he dressed, then made downstairs towards the kitchen area where he caught one of the maids walking by. She looked absolutely shocked, having never seen Megumi in such a state.
āPlease fix a plate of hot breakfast in a way to eat on the go, and a wrapped package of cold foods for lunch please.ā
Before another person could see he, especially Satoru, Megumi hurried back up the stairs to meet Yuji.
Yuji laughs under his breath and swings his legs over the side of the bed. The floor is cool against his feet, a sharp contrast to the warmth heās been wrapped in all night, and it jolts him a little more awake. He rubs the back of his neck, sheepish grin lingering as he glances once more at Megumi⦠then quickly looks away before he can get stuck staring again.
Focus. Work. Horses donāt feed themselves.
He pushes himself to his feet, moving a little too fast, and has to steady himself with a hand on the bedpost. His gaze flicks around the room, zeroing in on the washroom door when Megumi mentions his clothes. Right. Washroom. Clothes. He nods quickly...
āThanksāyeah, that helps. A lot,ā he says, already halfway there.
He takes the pitcher when itās offered, fingers brushing cool ceramic, and murmurs another quick thanks before ducking into the washroom. The door closes softly behind him, and Yuji exhales, shoulders slumping for just a second as the urgency presses in. He sets the pitcher down carefully and splashes water on his face, the chill cutting through the last of the sleep fog. He scrubs quickly, efficient but still careful not to make a mess, then reaches for his clothes.
Theyāre neatly laid out. Of course they are.
He dresses fastāfaster than he ever hasāfumbling a button once, swearing quietly under his breath before getting it right. As he tugs his shirt on, he catches his reflection in the small mirror: hair still a mess, eyes bright, cheeks faintly warm. He pauses, just a beat, then snorts softly at himself.
Get it together.
He downs a quick swallow of water, wipes his mouth, and slips back out into the bedroom. The moment he does, he nearly walks straight into Megumiāthen freezes⦠Megumi looks⦠put together now. Awake. Still a little rumpled, but in that effortless way that makes Yujiās chest do something that feels like he canāt breathe for a moment.
āAhāsorry!ā He steps aside quickly, grin apologetic and bright. āI, uhāthanks for grabbing breakfast. Seriously.ā
He moves with quick, purposeful steps now, grabbing his boots and tugging them on as fast as laces allow. Even so, thereās a lightness to him, even more cheerful than normal, even for him, a kind of joy that wasnāt there yesterday. He glances back at Megumi once more, his smile softer this time, his gratitude clear in his eyes as he grabs the food from him.
āLast night was⦠really nice." He says, quieter, sincere. No teasing. No jokes. Just truth. āI think even sleeping on a rock with you would be nice.ā He then adds with a playful grin.
Then the moment passes, replaced by the press of the day ahead. Yuji straightens, shoulders squaring, energy snapping fully into place.
āI gotta runāif I donāt, Iāll hear about it all day." He adds with a laugh, already halfway to the door. He hesitates there, hand on the frame, and looks back one last time.
āSee you later, yeah?ā
Before he can think better of it, he rushes over to give Megumi a firm squeeze with one arm, and with that, heās gone! Boots thudding down the stairs, late but smiling, carrying that warmth and joy with him for the rest of the day!
Drowsy calmness, which followed a contemplative almost dour state, was swept away like a bridge after heavy rainfall. Megumi liked the lulled and comfortable state of mind, but there was no denying the rush of endorphins really reminded him what it was like to FEEL and be ALIVE. He had no previous doubts, yet feeling so strongly in the present made it seem like he had not felt much of anything in the past. An entire life of thinking about his sister while going with the course of life.
Yuji was spontaneity. Yuji was blood rushing, heart throbbing, eye opening adoration. Well, Megumi was happy his friend was able to drift off to sleep so easily and comfortably because his own heart was louder than a bull in rut. He was so worried his loud heart and breathing would wake up Yuji that he shut his eyes tightly and slowly moved a hand to cover his own mouth. Calm down. Calm down. Was this normal for Yuji? He was charismatic and lovable.
The little boy with dirt on his cheeks had always been the one to offer his hand to the quiet Porcupine. Yet THIS was absolutely absurd! So absurd that Megumi naturally loved it but was more awake than ever before. As he panicked internally, he was so keenly aware of for Yuji's body became heavier as it relaxed more into the bed and onto Megumi. How his breathing leveled into a sound of peace, and how his body seemed to get warmer; the latter was likely just Megumi.
He didn't know how many minutes passed until he felt he was not in full panic mod, but it felt like at least a decade. It was then Megumi allowed himself to be selfish and shameful-- nuzzling ever so closely into Yuji's chest with the tip of his nose brushing against his friend's neck. So warm and he smelled so divine. Megumi was overwhelmed with guilt, but he couldn't pull away. His greed would not allow his body to retract, and he also feared he would wake Sunflower if he did anything rash.
For the first time in his life, he was content staying up late if it meant getting a taste of intimacy. Intimacy he wanted, not just intimacy from any person; he wanted Yuji. It was both his guilt and his desire to soak in the affection that kept him up hours into the late night until exhaustion, the calm rhythm from Yuji's beating heart, and their shared body warmth finally quieted his mind enough for him to fall asleep. Megumi did not move much while he slept, and that night be remained glued to Yuji's side. It made for a hotter night than usual but kicking off the sheets remedied that.
Even in sleep, his body REFUSED to depart from his friend. He was typically one of the earliest risers in the house and often had to remain laying in bed to give the staff a chance to get breakfast going; he did not want them to wake up earlier for his sake. This morning however, Megumi simply refused to wake until the smells of coffee and food, roosters croaking, AND Satoru speaking loudly all worked together to wake him up.
Again for the first time, Megumi grumbled and buried his nose into the pillow. He was so warm. So perfectly warm. Megumi nuzzled his body into the bed like a happy worm then felt a heavy, persistent weight of warmth along his back. Megumi writhed again, shaking his hips, inadvertently pressing dangerously close against Yuji... YUJI! It was a good thing the human body contained a rib cage, otherwise Megumi would've figured his heart might have leaped out from his chest.
Scorched my fire-- scorched by his own shame, he rolled to the opposite edge of the bed before sitting up. He knew that just by looking at his friend, he would be in serious trouble. It was late into the morning, and Yuji... and Yuji... well, he did end up looking at his friend only to find his heart a puddle on the bed. Heaven sent and earth stuck. The world really dropped the most pure person onto his... bed, and what, Megumi was supposed to NOT be head over heels in love?
Warm and peaceful, the pink of his hair and the yellow of the sunlight mixed, and absolutely perfect. Had it not been so late into the morning with a full day of work ahead, he would've left sunflower there. Megumi sighed wistfully, ran his fingers through his hair, then slapped his face a little as he came to his decision. He got out of bed and moved to the other side before waking Yuji up. Two fingers at his shoulder to poke and nudge him.
āYuji... Yuji, it's morning... time to wake up. Yuji.ā
Yuji barely registers the first nudge. Heās sunk deepāwrapped in warmth, in a comfort so complete his body refuses to believe it isnāt meant to stay like this forever. He lets out a soft, content sound, more breath than voice, and curls instinctively closer, arm tightening a little as if the morning itself has tried to steal something precious from him.
Another poke.
He shifts, face burrowing into the pillow, brow scrunching in protest. His legs tangle more firmly beneath the blankets, toes flexing as if digging in. No. Too warm. Too nice. He exhales slowly, his breathing evening out again, clearly attempting to return to sleep through sheer stubbornness.
Then Megumi says his name⦠That does itājust barely.
Yuji hums, low and sleepy, the sound vibrating faintly in his chest. His fingers twitch against the sheets, then relax. A long pause follows, as if heās negotiating with himself. Finally, one eye cracks open. Light spills in immediately, soft but bright, painting the room in gold. Yuji squints, lashes fluttering as he tries to focus. He blinks once. Twice. The world slowly sharpens, and his gaze drifts until it lands on Megumi.
And stops.
Oh.
The sleep drains from him in a quiet rush, replaced by something warm and dizzying. Megumi is there, skin kissed by morning light. The sunlight catches along his jaw, his collarbone, the curve of his neck, and Yujiās heart suddenly feels like it might burst. He just⦠stares for a few seconds too long. His mouth parts slightly, breath catching, and a soft smile blooms on his face before he even realizes itās there. Itās slow, unguarded, the kind he only ever wears when he forgets to be anything but honest.
āMmmm, Morning."
Yuji murmurs at last, voice rough with sleep and something gentler underneath. He pushes himself up on one elbow, hair sticking up every which way⦠His eyes donāt leave Megumiās face, not even when he rubs at one eye with the heel of his palm. He looks warm. Peaceful. Beautiful in a way that makes Yujiās chest ache in a pleasant way. In that moment, he canāt help but think, to realize⦠this was love, wasnāt it? He gulps and tries to get it together; it was too early in the morningā¦
āI slept really well...ā
He adds softly, almost in awe, like itās a discovery rather than a statement. Yuji sits up more fully, stretching with a quiet grunt, arms lifting over his headāthen freezes mid-stretch. Something clicks. The light. The sounds outside.The time! His eyes widen.
āOh⦠oh no!ā
He scrambles upright so fast the blankets tangle around his legs, nearly sending him right back onto the mattress. He catches himself with a startled laugh, heart suddenly pounding for a very different reason.
āIām late! Iām really late! Megumi, I was supposed to be up before the roosters!⦠Guess your bedās too comfortable.āĀ
He says, sheepish but still smiling, warmth lingering in his eyes as he looks at Megumi again, like even being late canāt fully ruin how good this morning feels. Despite himself, he lets out a breathy laugh, running both hands through his hair in a futile attempt to tame it. He glances around, trying to remember where his own clothes were set.
Yuji watches Megumi move with interest but patience. He keeps his eyes politely trained anywhere but directly on himāmostlyābut the quiet stretches, and the oil lamp throws long shadows that make it hard not to notice the shape of Megumi passing through them. Yuji swallows, shifts his weight, then finally lets out a slow breath when Megumi disappears into the washroom with his clothes.
Yuji uses the moment to busy himself, padding over to the bed and smoothing the quilt with both hands. The mattress looks soft! Really soft compared to the narrow cot in the bunkhouse. He perches on the edge, bouncing once experimentally, then stills, grinning to himself. Fancy or not, it feels welcoming⦠Like Megumi.
He hears water running, the faint clink of porcelain, and his smile softens without him quite noticing. Itās strange how good this feelsājust being here, waiting. Like when they were kids, Megumi would wash his hands extra carefully before supper, and Yuji would sit on the porch rail swinging his legs, pretending not to wait.
When Megumi comes back out, Yuji straightens a touch, hands folding loosely in his lap. He nods at the quiet question, voice low but bright.
āYeah." he says easily.
The lamp goes dark, and for a second, Yuji blinks, letting his eyes adjust. The stars outside the window spill pale light across the room, enough to make out shapes, the bed, the dresser, Megumiās silhouette moving closer. Yuji scoots back to make room without being asked, lifting the quilt and sliding beneath it with an awkward little shuffle. He settles on his side, toes brushing the cool sheets before the warmth builds around him.
When Megumi lies down beside him, Yuji goes very stillānot stiff, just attentive. He can feel the mattress dip as the shared heat gathers between them. His heartbeat steadies⦠He stares up at the ceiling for a moment, counting breaths, until Megumi speaks. Yuji turns his head in the dark, eyes finding Megumiās outline. The apology lands heavy⦠Yujiās chest tightens, then eases. He rolls onto his side so theyāre facing each other, propping his head on his arm. His voice stays gentle, boyish warmth intact.
āHey⦠Itās okay.ā
He reaches out without really thinking, stopping just short of touching, then lets his hand rest on the quilt between them instead. Close enough.
āI mean⦠yeah, it hurt back then⦠But I was a kid. I didnāt know the world could just⦠yank you somewhere else. Once I got older, I realized that.ā
He smiles softly and shifts closer, careful, like heās testing the space. Their shoulders brush, and Yuji relaxes into it, content. His voice turns lighter, the sunshine peeking back through.
āBesides,ā he adds, a hint of a grin in his words, āWe both found our way back to each other. Thatās what matters. Now I get to be sleeping in the nicest bed Iāve ever seen, next to my best friend.ā
He chuckles softly, then quiets, sincerity returning.
āI missed you,ā he says simply. āBut Iām not mad. I never was.ā
Yuji exhales, slow and steady, and lets his eyes close halfway. He stays awake, thoughāpresent, warm, right there. If Megumi needs to say more, Yujiās ready to listen. If not, heās just as happy sharing the quiet, the stars watching over them, the night gentle and wide around two people who finally found their way back.
Megumi knew Yuji had never been mad and likely never resented his quiet childhood friend, and that somehow was more painful-- being sad rather than mad. If the inverse had been done, Megumi wouldn't have been mad either, but his sadness would've consumed him and likely turned him bitter. Yuji was more sensitive than he, at least Megumi assumed, and while Megumi did not lead the most pleasant childhood, HIS sunflower was left alone with an ailing grandfather. Megumi was FINE having nothing and no one.
Yuji needed warmth and love and kindness. It wasn't his choice. He was ripped from his friend's grasp yet it was something Megumi would never forgive himself. It still hurt remembering those years so long ago. It was so miraculous the two reunited after so much time Megumi would've thought it impossible had it not actually happened. His heart was growing cold with the dull ache of his memories, but the rest of his body was warm like their combined body heat.
It pulled him out his dark thoughts and kept him floating on a cloud of disbelief. Sharing a bed with Yuji who was shifting closer, and it reminded Megumi if a puppy shuffling closer for contact. It was innocent and wonderful. Then he DARED to match his friend's position by rolling onto his side. The moonlight caught the points of Yuji's hair, and ever so slightly the outline of his arm and thigh. It was too dark to see the details of his face, and they were better off for it-- it emboldened Megumi.
From this proximity he could feel Yuji's breath hit his hand and could smell him too. He wanted to be held by Yuji and... he didn't really know what else. He had no experience with intimacy, so all he knew was he wanted to be close. Megumi parted his lips to talk more but enough was enough. He released a deep breath and closed his eyes. His heart calmed but anything could trigger him to have heart palpitations.
āI knew you were never mad, Yuji. And I always knew you were in it for the bed and sweets. You're like Satoru. ā
He released what was the closest thing to a laugh and relaxed further into the bed as sleep slowly came over his mind.
Yuji was sure that if life hadnāt pulled him and Megumi apart all those years ago, they would have been glued at the hip to this very day. He had been sad back then, but now, realizing that Megumi had missed him too, there was a different ache to it. Softer. Warmer. They were finally reunited, and Yuji refused to dwell on what theyād lost. Instead, he focused on what they still had time to build. New memories. Better ones. Happy ones.
He wanted to make Megumi happy. Truly, genuinely happy. Whatever Megumi had gone through during their time apart couldnāt have been easy. Yuji knew that without needing to hear every detail. And because of that, he was determined to do everything in his power to make things better from here on out. In big ways, in small ways. Any way he could.
From what Yuji could tell, Megumi was still reserved with most people. Guarded. Careful. Most didnāt get to see how kind he was, how quietly thoughtful, how special. It was a pity, really⦠though Yuji couldnāt say he minded all that much. It meant he alone got to see those sides of Megumi himself. Their friendship had always been different. It still was. Something rare and precious, something worth holding onto.
He tried to ignore the way his heart beat a little faster as they scooted closer together, the way their warmth mingled beneath the blankets. Watching Megumi move nearer makes a smile tug at Yujiās lips, soft and unguarded. He takes a slow breath and grins like a fool, eyes lingering on his prettyā Wait.
āYeahā¦ā Yuji mumbles, half-asleep already. āIn it for the comfortable bed, the sweets, and the fancy washrooms. Mhm.ā
His words trail off as his eyelids grow heavy.
Maybe itās the long day of work finally catching up to him, or maybe itās how safe he feels here, but Yuji stops thinking altogether. On instinct, he slips an arm around Megumi and snuggles closer, careful and gentle. He nuzzles into Megumiās dark hair, breathing in that clean, minty scent that now feels oddly familiar.
āGoodnight, Megumiā¦ā he murmurs, voice soft with sleep.
Safe. Warm. Happy.
Those feelings wrap around Yuji as completely as the blankets do, and with a small, contented sigh, he drifts into what might be the most comfortable sleep heās ever known.
Relax, Megumi convinced himself. It wouldn't be fair if only one of them was brave enough to undress... if it was even considered brave to undress in front of a friend. If Yuji could do it, so could Megumi-- simple as that. Despite the knot in his guts and the warmth on his cheeks, Megumi took allll the time in the world. To be fair, unfastening the buttons of his layered clothing and undoing the laces of his trousers took some time. He slipped off every article of clothing with cool care and very nearly stripped completely down.
His underpants were clean, having only been worn since he came out of his icy bath, so he kept those on. He did not know that Yuji was sneaking looks though, and maybe it was a good thing he didn't give his precious sunflower a heart attack. Megumi was all pale skin and long limbs as if he didn't face the sun on the daily. He never really retained color and when he did, it was the scorching red of sunburned skin. His body also looked like he didn't work work on a ranch, but his hands were rough worn.
Knees also carried the scrapes of his childhood; he took far better care as an adult. He winced a little when it came to stepping into his sleep pants, and while shirtless went to his nightstand to grab a tin of ointment. It smelled faintly minty, medicinal, and herbal which added to the minty aroma in the air already. He scooped a fair amount with his fingertips and rubbed it into his sore coccyx.
Megumi slowly looked over his shoulder when he heard the open very slowly, and he decided to pick up his pace. Of course he wasn't embarrassed. There was no way. Yuji was just tired, and Megumi was taking his sweet ol' time. He didn't rush. Didn't want to look like he was embarrassed. Summoning the cold reputation he earned, he casually strode back to his pile of clothes, put on his clean dress shirt, then gathered the set of clothes he was wearing moments prior.
āI would offer to take your clothes, but you'll likely need them tomorrow morning, right?ā
With the bundle of clothes in his arms Megumi went to the washroom to prepare for the night. He deposited his clothes into a cotton hamper, then went forth with his nightly ritual... albeit more thorough. Megumi practically scrubbed his face raw and for no other reason than it felt necessary. Chamomile soap was used for a thorough lather, then came the tooth powder. He felt like a prized horse going to show. He took a moment to smell his underarms and as expected carried no ill scent.
Megumi smelled like soap and that seemed to settle SOME of his nerves. He washed his hands thoroughly, gave his face another dunk in water, then dried himself off completely. He was more slow exiting the washroom. With everything taken care of-- there was only Yuji and Megumi. In bed. He inhaled and exhaled in repetition before exiting the washroom. Calm and cool. Cool as spring water.
āReady?ā
Did his voice sound shaky? Did it sound nervous? Good god. He was crumbling. Megumi with slightly sweaty palms put the tin of salve back on the dresser, then moved to turn off the oil lamp. Near absolute black covered the room, but there were bright stars outside the window watching them. What would the stars think? Megumi used muscle memory to guide himself to the bed where, with sheets drawn, he lied down beside his friend. His heart REFUSED to calm down. Yuji surely must have heard it. And all Megumi could do was lie there like a corpse ready for a funeral. Eyes to the dark ceiling.
āYuji?.... I know it wasn't easy for you..... I'm sorry I left. I.. didn't have a choice.ā
He didn't want to sour the mood by reminiscining about painful things, but the guilt wouldn't leave his mind.
Yuji watches Megumi move with interest but patience. He keeps his eyes politely trained anywhere but directly on himāmostlyābut the quiet stretches, and the oil lamp throws long shadows that make it hard not to notice the shape of Megumi passing through them. Yuji swallows, shifts his weight, then finally lets out a slow breath when Megumi disappears into the washroom with his clothes.
Yuji uses the moment to busy himself, padding over to the bed and smoothing the quilt with both hands. The mattress looks soft! Really soft compared to the narrow cot in the bunkhouse. He perches on the edge, bouncing once experimentally, then stills, grinning to himself. Fancy or not, it feels welcoming⦠Like Megumi.
He hears water running, the faint clink of porcelain, and his smile softens without him quite noticing. Itās strange how good this feelsājust being here, waiting. Like when they were kids, Megumi would wash his hands extra carefully before supper, and Yuji would sit on the porch rail swinging his legs, pretending not to wait.
When Megumi comes back out, Yuji straightens a touch, hands folding loosely in his lap. He nods at the quiet question, voice low but bright.
āYeah." he says easily.
The lamp goes dark, and for a second, Yuji blinks, letting his eyes adjust. The stars outside the window spill pale light across the room, enough to make out shapes, the bed, the dresser, Megumiās silhouette moving closer. Yuji scoots back to make room without being asked, lifting the quilt and sliding beneath it with an awkward little shuffle. He settles on his side, toes brushing the cool sheets before the warmth builds around him.
When Megumi lies down beside him, Yuji goes very stillānot stiff, just attentive. He can feel the mattress dip as the shared heat gathers between them. His heartbeat steadies⦠He stares up at the ceiling for a moment, counting breaths, until Megumi speaks. Yuji turns his head in the dark, eyes finding Megumiās outline. The apology lands heavy⦠Yujiās chest tightens, then eases. He rolls onto his side so theyāre facing each other, propping his head on his arm. His voice stays gentle, boyish warmth intact.
āHey⦠Itās okay.ā
He reaches out without really thinking, stopping just short of touching, then lets his hand rest on the quilt between them instead. Close enough.
āI mean⦠yeah, it hurt back then⦠But I was a kid. I didnāt know the world could just⦠yank you somewhere else. Once I got older, I realized that.ā
He smiles softly and shifts closer, careful, like heās testing the space. Their shoulders brush, and Yuji relaxes into it, content. His voice turns lighter, the sunshine peeking back through.
āBesides,ā he adds, a hint of a grin in his words, āWe both found our way back to each other. Thatās what matters. Now I get to be sleeping in the nicest bed Iāve ever seen, next to my best friend.ā
He chuckles softly, then quiets, sincerity returning.
āI missed you,ā he says simply. āBut Iām not mad. I never was.ā
Yuji exhales, slow and steady, and lets his eyes close halfway. He stays awake, thoughāpresent, warm, right there. If Megumi needs to say more, Yujiās ready to listen. If not, heās just as happy sharing the quiet, the stars watching over them, the night gentle and wide around two people who finally found their way back.
The door of Megumi's bedroom shut quietly, and with that it sealed their fate. The fate of the night at the maximum, and if anything Yuji could simply decide to spend the night in the guest room as he had prior. Nothing really was being sealed except Megumi felt THIS was momentous and transformative. For Megumi and perhaps him alone, he felt like he was standing on the edge of a cliff with thin rope tied around his waist. However he wasn't afraid of the leap. Only afraid if it ended with him face down and broken.
So far Yuji did not say no to using Megumi's clothing or the potential of them sharing a bedroom. It was going to come, the brunette assured himself, though it was more like he was prepping himself for disappointment. As much as he was completely shy and a little embarrassed, he WANTED Yuji to spend the night as two... friends. It would be like all of those years ago except nothing was the same, not with the charged feelings which separated man from boy.
In the stewing of his thoughts, Megumi failed to notice Yuji beginning the process of undress. He didn't know how to handle it either. Surely it wasn't modest to undress in front of a friend, but at the same time he doubted working men hardly gave a care in each other's company. And while Megumi was no uptight and entitled (slightly) boy, he had never been in a situation where he dressed and undressed in front of others.
More recently Satoru had left the task entirely up to Megumi when he was a little boy. At most, a maid or two helped fastening his buttons or tying the laces of his shoes. He never needed it, but the ladies seemed to like dressing him as surly as he appeared. Pulled away from his thoughts, Megumi's lips suddenly became drier than a desert and the heat of the sun seemed to settle on his cheeks. The warmth of a single oil lamp made the scene seem so intimate and private.
It shamed him to watch, so he ripped his gaze down. His heart was beating so hard he couldn't hear anything in the world. Not that there was much to hear. With stumbling and sweaty fingers he began gathering his own sleep clothing and clung to the cotton fabrics close to his chest. Anything to stop his wild heart's rhythm. Yuji Itadori. Naked. In his room. NAKED. The thought didn't disgust him. It wasn't nothing either. It excited him. Megumi could've dunked his head in a basin of cold water if it was handy, and if it didn't make him look like a loon.
Flushed and breathing a little hard, all Megumi saw was Yuji's bare abdomen and chest bathed in the dim lighting of the lamp, but it was enough. So much. A man chiseled by an artist. As if caught red handed, Megumi wiped his head over to his friend's body when words were spoken. He was surprised the shirt fit much less the pants. Though fit was a generous word. He looked like an adult in children's clothing, but the shirt wasn't too awful. Megumi nodded, then reminded himself to speak.
āSorry I don't have anything bigger... Thank you. I like the peace and the quiet, except for animals. I like when they speak.ā
Megumi slowly walked to the bed. Both looking like a rope was tugging him to the bed and like a magnet was pulling him IN. He fumbled with the laces of his own cotton sleep shirt.
āThere are pitchers of water in the wash room through that door. Soap, and tooth powder. The towels are clean....ā
His voice died out softly. Well! If Yuji was no chicken for undressing, then neither would Megumi. With the invitation to the washroom in the open, Yuji would be free to use it whenever he desired. Megumi set his sleep clothing on top of the bed, then began undoing all the cumbersome buttons of his vest and dress shirt.
Yuji is still smiling even after the bedroom door clicks shut, the sound soft but final enough to make his stomach do a small, nervous flip. Not a bad one, just the kind that comes with knowing youāre somewhere you want to be and a little too excited.
He listens as Megumi moves, catching the quiet shuffle of fabric and the careful way he sets his clothes down. When Megumi mentions the washroom, Yujiās attention flicks instinctively toward the indicated door. He hadnāt really looked last timeānot properly. Last time, heād been too busy worrying about Megumi being alright. Now heās curious.
āOhāokay,ā Yuji says, a little too quickly, nodding as if heās been given important instructions. āGot it. Thanks.ā
He hesitates only a second before padding toward the washroom, his steps light and deliberate. He pushes the door open gently⦠The sight inside makes his eyes widen despite himself. Itās⦠nice. Really nice. Clean tile, a wide basin, neatly stacked towels that look like theyāve never been mishandled in their lives. A pitcher of water sits ready, just like Megumi said, catching the lamplight faintly.Ā
āWhoaā¦āĀ
He murmurs again before catching himself. He steps in fully, touching nothing, just looking. It feels almost like heās in a fancy Inn room in town, or what he imagined it would be likeāonly warmer somehow, more personal like Megumi.
Yuji splashes a bit of water on his face, the coolness helping settle the buzz under his skin. He tries not to make a mess as he washes up, being mindful not to use too much of the items offered for him to use. He dries his hands and face carefully, folding the towel back the way he found it. Polite. Respectful. Grandpa would approve. When he steps back out, his eyes betray him immediately.
Megumi is in the middle of changing, vest loosened, fingers working carefully at buttons. Yujiās brain stalls.
Oh...
He looks awayāimmediately. Too fast, though. His gaze snaps to the opposite wall, then to the floor, then anywhere that is not Megumi. His ears feel hot. His cheeks feel hotter. Donāt stare. Donāt stare. Donātā He fails. Just a quick glance. Barely even a glance. More like⦠a peek that his eyes take without permission. The lamplight catches on Megumiās skin, on the careful lines of his shoulders, and Yujiās heart stumbles like a horse missing a step. He jerks his eyes away again, mortified, and clears his throat much louder than necessary, trying his best not to let his mind wander.
āUhāyour washroomās real nice,ā he blurts, voice a touch higher than usual. āNot that our bathroom back at barnhouse is bad or anything, but you knowā¦.ā
He laughs, soft and self-conscious, rubbing the back of his neck as if that might cool him down. He shifts his weight, trying very hard to act normal. Like heās not acutely aware of every movement Megumi makes behind him. Like his heart isnāt doing laps in his chest.
He keeps his eyes fixed somewhere neutralāMegumiās bookshelf, the edge of the bed, the lamp⦠anywhere safe. Still, his posture stays as open and relaxed as possible. He doesnāt retreat. He doesnāt hide. He just waits, his presence warm and steady, as if he belongs there.
Every so often, though, when he thinks he can get away with it⦠His eyes flick back for the briefest second. And every time, his face heats up all over again.
Megumi Fushiguro didn't need any help climbing the elaborate, bordering on ostentatious flight of stairs, but he wanted it. Stupid desires to be held in those arms again-- to be cared for for intimately. Of course his mentor would have done the same for the sake of his health and maybe to embarrass him, but it was different with Yuji. He was touched and looked at and spoken to in ways that could create a poet out of an illiterate man.
But Megumi needed to be strong in more than one regard! He would definitely keep out the saddle but some exercise was good, surely. Satoru said if he didn't improve by a week's time, he would call for a physician to arrive at the ranch. Megumi DID already feel better and that was less than a span of a day. Truthfully he didn't know if that was the injury itself or Yuji making him feel absolutely spectacular. Either way he would take it. Even getting cow manure in his breeches wouldn't sour the light feeling in his heart.
Once at the top of the stairs Megumi felt like he completed a mile on barefoot only to be met with another momentous climb. He felt like the walls were watching. Watching and judging. With a subtle deep breath he proceeded slowly to his room and left the door open for Yuji to enter. Clean and meticulous, smelling faintly of peppermint. Megumi was glad more than ever he was spoiled with the riches of Satoru's wealth. Even in the dark he moved with ease to the oil lamp on the dresser to turn on the light. He didn't dare look at Yuji.
He HAD to look absolutely calm and composed, so he continued moving around his room to his wardrobe. Satoru's items would be a closer fit, but there was NO WAY Megumi would ask his mentor for such a thing. He found the next best thing-- a large white cotton night shirt. Of course it as large on Megumi but would it fit Yuji. Yuji was so.... The man's cheeks tinged red again as he took the shirt to his chest before turning to sunflower.
āI'm not certain this will fit, but you can try. And pants... I can look for something that can fit.ā
He handed the shirt over like it was a jewel which might shatter, then busied himself going through the ironed and folded clothing until he found the largest set of pants he could find. Most of Megumi's clothing was tailored and fitted, but he did own a handful of larger items in case of injury. He doubted the pants would fit but he passed them to Yuji too with his eyes slightly downcast.
āI will get changed now....ā
Yuji lingers in the doorway for just a secondā¦long enough to ground himself⦠then steps inside like heās done this before. Which he has. That realization settles him a little. This isnāt some forbidden place. Itās Megumiās room. Heās been here once already. Breathed this same peppermint air. Seen the same clean lines and quiet order. Still⦠It feels different at night.
His gaze drifts around out of habit, slow and careful. He notices the same things he did beforeāthe neatly made bed, everything about the room feels like Megumi: calm, deliberate, quietly thoughtful. No clutter. No excess. Just enough. Yuji swallows, warmth blooming low in his chest. He snaps himself out of it when Megumi turns back with the clothes.
Yuji straightens immediately, hands coming up as if heās being handed something fragile. He accepts the nightshirt first, then the pants, fingers brushing fabric thatās still warm from Megumiās touch. His shoulders tense for half a heartbeat before he forces them to relax.
āOh! Thanks,ā he says quickly, then softer, more sincere, āReally.ā
He gives a small, sheepish smile and nods, as if to say I got this, before taking a step back. He doesnāt want to be awkward. He is awkward. But he tries.
When Megumi turns away, Yuji exhales slowly through his nose, like heās letting the reins loosen just a bit. He turns his back too, facing the far wall, and sets the borrowed clothes on the edge of the bed with exaggerated care. His hands fidget for a second before he stills them, pressing his palms briefly to his thighs.
Donāt panic. Donāt overthink. Youāve changed clothes a thousand times, he tells himself.
His shirt comes off first. Easy enough. He folds it quickly, a little crooked, but earnest, and sets it on the edge of the bed. His movements are a little stiff, like heās hyperaware of every sound: the rustle of fabric, the soft creak of floorboards under his boots. He slips those off next, lining them up beside the bed like heās suddenly very concerned about manners.
The nightshirt slides over his head, cotton brushing his skin, and he pauses despite himself, just for a breath. It smells like Megumi⦠clean and faintly sharp, like mint and fresh air, and Yuji has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling like an idiot.
He pulls it the rest of the way down, adjusts it once, twice, then reaches for the pants. Those take a bit more effort. First, heās slipping off his own and also folding them, trying not to think about the fact that heās just standing there with just a shirt and his undergarments in Megumiās room. He wrestles with the borrowed pants quietly, hopping once before steadying himself, almost letting out a laugh as he wiggles into the pants at last. Once heās dressed, he smooths the fabric over his thighs, rolls his shoulders, and finally turns back toward Megumi. His cheeks are pink, but his expression is open and warm, eyes bright with something like relief.
āThey fit,ā he says softly, like itās important. Then, a beat later, brighter, āWellāgood enough, anyway.ā
He rocks back on his heels, suddenly unsure what to do with his hands, and settles for clasping them behind his back. He takes another quick glance around the room⦠not lingering this time, just appreciating⦠and then looks back at Megumi with an easy, bashful grin.
āYour roomās really nice,ā he adds, earnest as ever. āFeels⦠real peaceful.ā Though he feels awkward, he just hopes Megumi doesnāt noticeā¦
So... what now? Megumi need something, ANYTHING to fill the next few moments. How brave he had been to offer a bed for the night and even braver to initiate physical contact, but sitting there Megumi felt like there was lead holding his legs down. Paralyzed with awkwardness, nerves, and affection. Worst of all, or best of all, their hands were still touching, but it was more like Yuji was gently cradling his heart. A smile or even a little jolt was like he was stimulating all the nerves of the tender organ.
Yuji was happy certainly, but did he have ANY idea how happy and smitten Megumi was? Yuji made everything look effortless. Truly he was the sun. Did any human ever question the sun's effort? It just was there every single day. And a lot like the sun, Megumi was afraid he needed him for survival. Thinking about his friend so intimately flared up more heat and color in his cheeks. Stomach was more tossed in coils than tumbleweed but as the host, they couldn't sit there the entire night.
He didn't regret inviting Yuji, no, yet he DID regret not thinking the proposition through. He looked away from his friend as he went through all the mental steps of actually getting Yuji and himself situated for the night. Slowly, so slowly like he was handling a newborn mouse, Megumi slipped his hand away from his friend's. It wouldn't be weird if their hands just slipped apart, especially not when it was for a good reason-- Megumi rose to his feet. The pain of his sore spin was forgotten for those long moments, blissfully.
It wasn't only the pain that hit him but the embarrassment too. Megumi was good at masking his pain though he did walk carefully when he gathered Yuji's dirty plate. That and the cake were escorted outside the parlor to the kitchen. He took the time to gather his breaths and thoughts. Then he walked to the hallway and waved his guest over. As Megumi walked or hobbled, he twisted the switches of the lights to turn them off. He then waited at the base of the stairs for Yuji and only began his ascent when Sunflower was beside him. He gripped the handrail and slowly walked up the stairs.
"Do you need a change of clothes? I might have... something that can fit you. A shirt and pants at least."
IF that. A shirt there was no doubt but just saying a shirt almost had him choking on his tongue.
Though he misses the contact almost immediately, Yuji isnāt sad or offended when Megumiās hand slips from his, and his friend rises to his feet. If anything, the warmth lingers, buzzing faintly in his fingers like an echo. Yuji is quick to mirror him, pushing himself up just as fast and trailing after him like an eager pup, unsure whether he should offer to help or simply stay out of the way.
He figures Megumi probably isnāt the one stuck washing dishes or tidying up unless he feels like it, so Yuji does his best not to hover. Still, he stays close⦠close enough to feel present without crowding him, close enough to reassure himself that Megumi is really here and not about to vanish again.
Somewhere along the way, Yuji realizes heās become a moth to a light, and Megumi is that light. Not a flame that burns or scorches if you get too close, but something gentler. Comforting. Megumiās warmth doesnāt demand attention⦠it simply exists, quiet and steady, wrapping around Yuji without effort. Like the glow of a hearth on a cold night. Like a thick blanket pulled snug around his shoulders. Like sinking into warm water after a long, exhausting day. The kind of warmth that seeps into your bones and makes you feel safe.
And Yuji wants to be close to it. Closer. As close as he can possibly get.
Lost in thought, he bites the inside of his cheek as they climb the stairs. Without realizing it, his gaze drifts, lingering on Megumi⦠on his long legs, on the way he moves⦠and Yujiās cheeks flare pink the moment he catches himself. Flustered, he snaps his attention to the back of Megumiās head instead, only to find himself distracted all over again by the dark, slightly tousled hair he suddenly has the overwhelming urge to run his hands through.
Focus, he tells himself.
He drops his gaze to the steps, watching each one carefully, determined not to miss a step and make a fool of himself now of all times.
āOhāuhm, yeah⦠something a bit more appropriate for sleep would be nice.ā
Yuji says after a moment, nodding quickly. Then a thought hits him a second later⦠wearing Megumiās clothes would mean smelling like him, wouldnāt it? The idea sends a quiet thrill through his chest, and he has to consciously rein himself in, trying not to look too eager over something as simple as a sleepover. Or too nervous. Because the truth was, Yuji had no idea what they were going to do other than⦠well, sleep. And with his heart pounding as fast as it was, he doubted heād be closing his eyes anytime soon.
"Yes.. it has. A very long time."
It hit Megumi suddenly, he was worth something. More than being Gojo Satoru's mentee. More than being a Zen'in. HE was the reason for Yuji's happiness and the way his lips split into the most amazing smile of pure happiness. Megumi was capable of bringing joy into someone's life, and if he could bring joy to a person who he cared about so deeply, maybe he wasn't doomed after all. The light in sunflower's life.
Beyond working to be around animals and holding the hope of being with his sister, he had purpose in his life-- a tangible thing to hold onto and strive for. From that moment, he made it a life goal to make Yuji Itadori as happy as any person could possibly be. The mental goal filled him with extraordinary joy and a sense of purpose, however even if Megumi didn't come to that conclusion, the brilliance of his friend's smile was enough to fill him with joy.
A smile and a light capable of turning the cruelest men kind and bringing summer to frigid lands. Although when the suggestion just flowed out of his mouth, Megumi hadn't exactly meant a sleepover like the boys had done on rare occasion as children. The images surfacing in his mind was enough to create a furnace inside his body. He wasn't opposed to the idea... the two of them sharing a room, sharing a BED. Maybe he was thinking too far ahead, so he calmed thoughts that were growing too wild.
The magnetism between their bodies and gazes did not falter for a single instance even as ALL these thoughts moved through Megumi's mind. Lord help him. Yuji's honey eyes and sweet lips carrying joy so effortlessly. He wanted to hold onto this man for eternity, or as long as Yuji could tolerate Megumi in his life of course. He attempted to resort to his usual cool and aloof nature by ripping his gaze away and sighing, but the smile remained on his lips and that said all.
If anything, his failed effort only made him look bashful. The supposed sigh sounded like an amused released of breath which worked in his favor anyhow. Having torn that magnetic gaze it was difficult to re-establish it, so Megumi attempted to look nonchalant. Fingers ran through spiky hair which refused to settle down and eyes looked to Yuji's torso (definitely not at his pecs) when he spoke again.
"Did you want anything else before... retiring for the night?"
If Megumi was to make sunflower happy at all times, he had to be bold--- boldness of course meant making eye contact again. He focused on the sound of his breath to distract himself by how god damn handsome Yuji was. Cool water. Ice water. Winter storms. His green eyes were filled with warmth but the mental chant helped cool his expression.
Despite having been well cared for and deeply loved by his grandfather, Yujiās childhood had been a lonely one⦠quiet in ways a childās heart should never have to understand. Death had always lingered at the edges of his story: parents he had no memories of, brothers who existed only as faint, blurry echoes. His real memories began with his grandfather⦠and with Megumi.
Yuji hadnāt understood social standings or differences back then, not really. But even as a boy, heād sensed they came from different worlds, that Megumi was someone he had no right to keep. Some part of him had known their friendship was fragile, that it existed on borrowed time. And thenājust like everyone else in Yujiās lifeāMegumi was gone. No explanation. No goodbye. Just gone. And Yujiās world shrank again.
Even his grandfatherās passing, though expected after so many years of illness, hit with the same suddenness. The same hollow ache. Yuji had been left with nothingāno family, no home, no directionāuntil Mr. Gojo scooped him up, plopped him onto this ranch, and gave him something he thought heād lost for good: A future.Ā A place to belong. And now⦠Megumi.
Standing here, listening to Megumi speak, Yuji realized his life hadnāt been meaningless, and maybe it didnāt have to be lonely anymore either. Because now that they were grown, his fascination with Megumi had only sharpened, deepened in ways he didnāt quite understand yet, but he was more than willing to dive in headfirst into the pool of unknown feelings.
Something about Megumiās presence just lit him up from the inside. Made him happy in that simple, instinctual way. Megumi was quiet sometimes, sure, but he was gentle, thoughtful, and steady. He was also the smartest person Yuji had ever met⦠Yuji was absolutely certain of thatāand yet somehow he chose to spend time with him.
He still held Megumiās hand gently as he spoke. Yujiās warm hazel eyes were locked on him, drinking him in like he might disappear again if he looked away. His heart fluttered wildly, and he had to force his thoughts not to drift into that dizzy, yearning spiral heād fallen into more than once tonight.
āUhm, noāIām fine. Thank you,ā
Yuji offered another warm smile, eyes bright. Inside Yujiās thoughts were racing. Was Megumi really going to invite him to sleep over? In his room? Ā No, noāMegumi was probably just offering the guest room again. That made sense. Totally normal. Yuji tried not to feel a stab of disappointment at the thought, because either way heād get more time with Megumi. They could talk upstairs before bed, right? Maybe hang out for a little longer?⦠Wait. What did people their age even do during sleepovers? Yuji felt his cheeks heating up.
C-c-come come ba-ba-back! Despite the sound of wind whipping through tall grasses, chirping birds, and Megumi's own heart racing, he could hear that hopeful eager voice. And for reasons the boy couldn't place he continued to run away from that voice and the wonderful boy who wielded it. No, Megumi knew precisely why--- he didn't want sunflower to see the smile on his face. It was powerful like the sun watching them from above.
Running away and coming back together, only for Megumi to be forced far away from the one thing which made him smile. Not even his sister had managed to make him smile though she certainly made him happy. Tsumiki was like air, a necessity, and Yuji was more like chocolate and sugared ginger and... and... running through the wilds to find animals under every rock and climbing every tree. A guilty pleasure his FAMILY wanted to root out of his mind. The world was big and somehow they ended up together once again.
The first time was by chance, a lonely boy's chance, and the second time was all due to Satoru Gojo. Satoru had given him almost everything in life but this was the best of all. Megumi would be happy with just Yuji and nothing else. Angels above were picking Megumi by his limps and raising him into the sky where everything was serenity and joy. It reminded him of only the day prior where it had been YUJI's hands on him. Despite his embarrassment it was better than ascending to any sort of imagined heaven. He was in love and he had been just as a boy, if possible.
Megumi knew he was in love because he never ever felt his emotion before. It was irrational. Too much time passed between their childhood and adulthood but the naivety in Megumi's mind called and yearned for the radiant sunflower. He could hardly breathe when their two shy glances met as one. Modesty and adoration in the form of green and golden brown eyes. Megumi could FEEL that charged energy between them.
A magnetic force which worked to pull Megumi to Yuji. To feel his breath, to smell him, to touch his warmth. It hurt to want something someone so much! Especially since he didn't know if Yuji wanted the same thing. Sure, he had spoken from his heart, but was that NEED and joy mirrored? Megumi didn't like talking without reason but he had to say something while at a loss. Emotion gripped his heart. The sweet, sweet pain. It emboldened him.
"What you said, Yuji, I... feel the same way. I like having you here on the ranch but not just that. HERE with me. I'm happy."
And Megumi laughed softly. It felt odd. Sounded even odder on his ears. It was disbelief and genuine joy as Megumi summoned the courage to reach his hand out and pat the top of Yuji's. It may have lingered for a few seconds, sure, but he retracted it seconds later.
"..... Do you want to sleep here tonight?"
WITH ME?
Yujiās breath caught so abruptly it almost hurtābecause those words hit him like a spark straight to the chest. Sleep⦠here? Here with Megumi?
His brain went fuzzy, like someone had smacked a bright yellow beehive full of warm buzzing thoughts inside his skull. He blinked once, twice, his eyes going impossibly wide as Megumiās hand withdrew from the top of his. That touchāsoft, warm, carefulāstill burned on his skin, leaving a ghost of pressure that made his fingers twitch like they wanted it back, and without thinking, he grabbed hold of Megumiās hand before he could retract it further.Ā
Then everything hit him at once.
Heat exploded across his cheeks. His heart thudded so violently he swore Megumi could probably hear it. His smileābig, bright, helplessābroke over his face before he even had a chance to hide it. And then he jolted, practically vibrating where he sat, his shoulders bouncing with the force of the excitement he was trying very, very hard to contain. Well. Trying kinda sorta. Actually⦠not really trying at all.
His whole body leaned toward Megumi, a soft gravity pulling him closer without conscious thought. It wasnāt even something he decided. It just happened, like a sunflower turning toward the sun without needing to think about it, and he gently squeezes Megumiās hand. He didnāt want to scare Megumi. Didnāt want to come off like he was jumping at the chance⦠Even though he absolutely, definitely, one thousand percent was.
Yuji swallowed, throat suddenly dry. His gaze flickered up, meeting Megumiās eyes for just one lingering momentāgreen and gentle and so heartbreakingly earnest. A warmth bloomed deep in his chest, flooding through him until it reached the tips of his fingers. The feeling was almost so intense and overwhelming, but he decided he liked it.
He finally nods. A small, eager dip at first⦠then a bigger, brighter one when he couldnāt help himself. His voice wouldnāt come. Not right away. Too many butterfliesāno, whole swarms of them were fluttering up against his ribs. He pressed a hand lightly against his stomach as if that would help steady them.
āYeahā¦ā He managed, cheeks practically glowing. āIād⦠Iād like that. A lot. Itās been a long time since we had a sleepover, huh?ā
Yujiās smile softened, small but still bright and practically glowing, trying hard to contain the buzzing of warmth that was threatening to overspill. Still holding onto Megumiās hand with no signs of letting go anytime soon. He didnāt even realize itā¦
Everything about Yuji was effortless, at least that was Megumi's perspective of it. Effortless in the way he smiled, how he befriended Megumi as a child, picked Megumi up, how he smiled--but it wasn't just the smile it was about the light and personality behind the smile. It was like it was genuine. It WAS genuine, wasn't it? It made Megumi's gears turn because he wasn't like that... he couldn't relate to that light feeling of smiling and laughter. Sunflower.
It made Megumi warm and almost dizzy with a feeling of delight. It was more than delight though and he knew it. It brought him to this feeling of craving--craving to be near Yuji, a craving to hear his voice, to touch... Sitting next to each other, Megumi was filled with this overwhelming DESIRE to touch Yuji. How warm was Yuji? How did his skin feel? Was his hair soft like ice-cream? He wished he was sitting at the piano to shut the cover of the piano keys down on his fingers. It was physical. His body tensed and his eyes widened as blood rushed to warm his face unpleasantly.
It was more than friendship he wanted. Sweat quickly began collecting on the collar of his shirt and his lips parted just a bit to breathe quickly. He wished one of the windows were open and that were outside even under the cover of the night. The room suddenly felt so bright and invasive as if there was a spotlight on the two of them. But there was Yuji's soft, boyishly handsome voice. A charm that was more addicting than liquor or sugar. It drew Megumi's gaze which had never been softer. Laughter might not have been contagious but smiling became such as a look of contentment settled on the normally serious man.
āYou're not bothering anyone. You're always welcome here.ā
He knew Satoru would support that. He knew HIS HEART wanted Yuji there at any time of day. Megumi just wanted. The wind could have carried his voice away. Heck, crickets would have carried it away. There wasn't a shyness to his voice but there was a softness as if with those words he was professing his love. Love, love, sweet love.
It squeezed his heart, and Yuji's almost shy smile was cupid's arrow stabbing his heart raw. His cheeks were painfully warm while his eyes didn't narrow, no, they were partially shut in a way to show his coyness. It wasn't on purpose of course but his eyelashes seemed to dwarf his green eyes. Yuji's voice was small and reserved while Megumi's eyes were much the same as he looked at Yuji's chest, his arms, his hands.
āI wanted to see you too. I always want to see you. I like spending time with you.ā
Megumi had faced off with a pack of wolves going after his cattle but that was nothing like putting his heart on a platter. For Megumi, this very much was ripping his heart out and putting it on display. Surely Yuji didn't mean what Megumi felt, but the way he hesitated and sounded so tiny filled him with some hope. Maybe. Please! Maybe! Even if Yuji only wanted to be friends and was not put off by his friend's expressiveness, that would be good enough for Megumi. He would bask in the glow of that sunflower all his life if his friend would provide him such a kindness.
So warm. Too warm. Yujiās palms had gone clammy, slick with nerves he couldnāt quite explain. He rubbed them against his jeans, fingers curling briefly against his knees as if to keep himself grounded. When had he stopped breathing? His chest ached, tight with the effort of holding it all in, until finally he dragged in a shaky inhale, trying to steady the wild hammering of his heart. It was beating too fast, too hard, like it was trying to escape his ribs altogether.
He sat there, shoulders tense, wondering if heād overstepped again. Maybe he was being too forward⦠too clingy. He always had a way of throwing himself headfirst into things, and Megumi⦠Megumi was quieter, steadier, and more careful with his words and feelings. Yuji didnāt want to smother him. He didnāt want to mess this up.
But then Megumi spoke. Yujiās world stopped.
His warm hazel eyes went wide; he couldnāt quite decide where to focus. For a heartbeat, he forgot how to breathe all over again. Then the grin broke across his faceābright and unrestrained, the kind of smile that could set a whole room aglow. A laugh bubbled out of him, light and happy and disbelieving.
He didnāt even realize he was leaning closer until their shoulders brushed⦠just a touch, but enough to make his pulse skip. His gaze flickered to Megumiās face, and for a moment, he forgot every word heād meant to say. Those green eyes, the way the lamplight softened the edges of his hair⦠it was too much and not enough all at once.
āI really like spending time with you too,ā Yuji said, voice bright but shaking just a little around the edges.
He swallowed hard, licking his lips nervously, heat creeping up his neck and into his cheeks. But he didnāt pull back. Not this time. He wanted Megumi to knowāto understand, even if he didnāt have the words quite right yet.
āAnd I always wanna see you too,ā he continued, a small, almost sheepish laugh slipping through. āI couldnāt stop thinkinā about you, so⦠thatās kinda how I ended up here.ā
The confession tumbled out before he could stop it. He rubbed at his knees again, shy and jittery, trying to find somewhere safe to look. His cheeks burned, but when he glanced back at Megumi, the warmth in his chest swelled tenfold. There was no hiding it now.
āIām really, really happy weāre together again, ya know?ā he said, his grin softening into something tender. āFeels likeā¦ā He leaned back a little, gaze drifting upward to the ceiling as if the words were written up there. āFeels like a part of me that was missing is whole again.ā
The words hung there for a moment, fragile but sincere.
āIāve never met anyone like you, Megumi,ā he added, quieter now, the edges of his voice colored with affection. āThings just⦠didnāt feel right without you. So Iām real glad Mr. Gojo brought me here. Glad I get to be with you again.ā
Realizing he was rambling, Yuji cut himself off with a sheepish laugh and looked down at the carpet, that sunny smile flickering into something shy and small. His fingers fidgeted with the rough fabric of his trousers, twisting it between his hands because what he wanted to do was to reach out. Just to touch Megumiās hand, or his sleeve, or anything⦠But he didnāt. He didnāt know where that urge came from, only that it was there⦠an ache under his skin that made his heart ache in the best and worst way. He bit the inside of his cheek, cheeks still flushed, and risked another glance at Megumi. The air between them felt charged, gentle but alive... like the kind of moment that could change everything if either of them moved just a little closer.
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