It's Fate @fatessake - Tumblr Blog

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It’s probably terrible that I’m insanely jealous of my ex (Daylin’s father).

He has all the support in the world, but my own mother won’t talk to me about Daylin.

I’m expected to just move on and forget that she existed - however briefly.

I wish the father and I were on speaking terms... this might be easier then.

It's almost your 2nd birthday and I think about you every day.

It's hard to not scream that you're gone at people when they tell me I don't get it I'm not a parent.

I love you and miss you so much every day.

purplebuddhaproject

https://www.instagram.com/pbuddhaproject/

Snapchat.

I could use some friends to chat with. I like to send animal pictures and selfies. Also like to just chat.

18+ preferred.

Add me! I’m Aelycat

<3 <3

#snapchat #snap me #snap friends #snapchat friends #snapchat 18+

Dead Inside.

.Many things make me feel dead inside every day.

- I wasted 7 years on what was a great relationship with a wonderful person, who since we broke it off has done nothing but bash me, call ME abusive, accuse ME of cheating on him, and leave ME with such a great financial burden that I am considering bankruptcy to get a fresh start. (Also before he moved out he told me “I bet you’ll be pregnant before the lease is up” Which leads to the next bullet point)

- I got pregnant early last year, experienced organ failure that resulted in surgery, all the stress on my body at such an early stage of pregnancy caused me to lose my child. March 8th is now the hardest day of my life, I love Daylin with all my heart and soul. Losing a child isn’t a feeling I’d wish upon my worst enemy.

- The father of said child accused me of cheating on him.... after I broke up with him? Not sure how that works, but ok?

Now, this post isn’t intended to be a pitty party for me. Losing my child alone was enough to drive me to considering suicide. But I did NOT do that. I stuck through it, even though every day I think about her, I know that she wants me on this earth and she wants me to live on.

I spent a good 4-5 months barely talking to any humans.

Since then, I have had SO many great things happen - despite loss.

- I met an amazing guy, who loves me for me, who cares about me and makes sure I actually take care of myself when I’m down. It may seem rushed, but we got engaged very quickly, but I have no regrets on that. He keeps me going every day.

- I realized it’s OK to be sad and grieve over the loss of Daylin, she’s my angel and I love her. But the world is going to keep moving, and I’m going to be a part of it.

- I have a great extended family, although I haven’t mentioned Daylin to them, they’re very supportive of myself and my fiance.

- I spend more time smiling than ever before. I’m rediscovering myself. And it’s WONDERFUL.

- My fiance and I decided that since he’s in his 30s and I’m in my late 20s we are going to “let nature do its thing” and not use birth control of any kind - if we get pregnant, we get pregnant. We are ready for kids, we have means to support kids - so if kids happen they happen.

- Oh, and I also realized: To my ex of 7 years: thank you, fuck you, and I’m glad you’re out of my life. I’m better off now than I ever was before. Every day isn’t full of anxiety. It’s WONDERFUL and I’m SO HAPPY now.

#depression #itgetsbetter #it gets better #infant loss #miscarriage #engaged #fuckyou #moving on #life

Daylin, It has been almost 6 months since I lost you. I would have met you next month, I'm sure you would have been the most precious infant but instead you're the most precious guardian angel. Every day I think about you, I smile when I think of you. In a way, you're lucky. You don't have to grow up in this crazy world, but my God I miss you. We would have made everything work. You would have had a great childhood with a very loving family. I love and miss you every day Your mommy

4 months

Daylin, it's been 4 months and I miss you no less. I think about you and wish I could have you back every single day. I love you so much, Love your mommy

I hate this.

I have no one to talk to. No one understand that I’m still super fucking emotional about the entire miscarriage thing.

I would be 15 weeks along.

My baby would have been the size of an apple.

Have a brain,

be able to move.

But instead my baby is an angel.

And I can’t handle it.

I just want my baby back.

borntooearlyborntoosmall

we-are-the-ones-who-face-them

My body is a graveyard But I guess it’s always been Rooms of dying dreams And weakened screams Inside this lion’s den My body is a graveyard I know this all to well Things that come alive Can never thrive Inside this empty shell My body is a graveyard I know this to be true Your heartbeat is gone And your life is done But darling, I did love you

Sarah Plitzko, My Body is a Graveyard (via we-are-the-ones-who-face-them)

dvilsnvrmnd

jinx-with-a-side-of-salt-ar-blog

Can someone tell me what my X/Y Friend Safari type is and what the Pokémon are?

I can’t check my own Friend Safari, so I want someone else who has entered the Hall of Fame in X/Y to add me and check what my Safari’s type is and what Pokémon are there.

My friend code is 4356-3758-1173.

fatessake

I’ll check for you!

My FC is 0189-9630-7365 and my Safari Type is Ghost