FeatheredLetters

[harmony-is-happiness]

[different-landscapes]

[featheredletters]

I'm just tired of it being so dark and you being so far away.

[hplyrikz]

The best quotes on Tumblr.

[thereisatimeforeverythingal-blog]

[aseaofquotes]

Sarah Addison Allen, The Girl Who Chased the Moon

[featheredletters]

I honestly don't know if i'm going to live through the holidays this year. I'm incredibly lovesick right now. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I've got the same thing rolling through my mind over and over again. I find myself wanting to be alone, or with you. Anyone else is just unwelcome. I miss my family, but i can't force myself to drive back out there and hang out with them. My siblings aren't there, and i'll be just as alone. Not lonely. I love my family, but I just wish there was someone there with me. I want to share inside jokes with you and introduce you to the people that made me who I am. I want to sit at the table and play games with you and cuddle on my couch after we get back to my place. We would be so full that we'd just sit there watching a movie. Comfortable, happy. I'm sitting in my room alone. Door closed. I don't even know what to do with myself. This must be what it feels like to be far away from everyone you know and love. I'm just waiting for you to pull up to my house and save me, even though i'm completely aware that won't happen. But I wish it would. Even if it was just this once.

[featheredletters]

You lived an hour away and I couldn't make myself want to drive to see you. He lived 8 hours away, and I found myself trying to figure out if I could afford a flight on a whim to go see him. That's when I knew.

[honeyforthehomeless]

Love must not entreat, she added, or demand. Love must have the strength to become certain within itself. Then it ceases merely to be attracted and begins to attract.

Hermann Hesse, Demian  (via honeyforthehomeless)

[featheredletters]

You are allowed to love or care for for whoever you want. It's completely human. If someone tells you that you don't love someone, but in your heart you believe you do, then you do. No one can tell you who you do or do not love. Only you know that answer. 

[aseaofquotes]

Laura Dave, The First Husband

[lilysofthefield]

The universe can be cruel, waking you up and reminding you of things you don’t want to remember, things you’ve put past you, small nudges of memories you’d rather keep buried. It’s a slap in the face, a stab in the gut, jogging your memory of lessons past learned, telling you not to travel down...

[featheredletters]

You always hated it when I curled my hair. You also always hated when I wore powder make-up, listened to Dashboard Confessional, or bought a new sweater. You hated my sweaters. I know that to you it was just silly things...but these all mattered, and deep down it's the little things that can cause the biggest rifts. Today I wore a new sweater and curled my hair. All I could think about whenever I got a compliment on either or both of them was how much you would hate them. I guess I should be thanking you for helping me understand that I should be allowed to love what I love, and do what I do, because someday someone will come along who loves those little quirks about me. I'm not denying that you loved me, I know very well that you did. I'm just saying that we weren't nearly as compatible as we thought we were. Our little fights were actually important. I like to curl my hair and wear powder make-up because they make me feel better about myself. I like to wear sweaters because they are cozy and make me feel warm and safe. I listen to Dashboard Confessional (sadly not as often anymore) because the lyrics take me somewhere, no matter how sad they are. They make me feel at home and give me a sense of calm. These are all things that I will continue to love because they make me who I am. Hi, I'm Bekah, and i'm a sweateraholic. Welcome to my world.

[featheredletters]

Alone

Thoughts can cut you so much deeper than words. The words can hurt you enough, but when you let your mind take those words and place them in all of the darkened corners of yourself , that's when you're in trouble. The idea has been steadily flowing in that I will remain alone. Solid. Just me. For the rest of my life. I don't want to live that way. There are people who are meant to be alone, and happy. People who don't want marriage, or kids. I am not one of those people. So to know that even with people that I care about, I'm not anywhere close to good enough. It cuts deep. I don't care about who they are, it's a matter of how the rest of the world sees me. If the world sees me as an unattractive, normal, unimportant, blip...I'm always going to be that way. If my own friends think i'm boring, annoying, overprotective, and not even remotely good looking...what does that say about me? Is it fair of people to tell me that image is what you make of it, when no one is there to tell me that i'm not unattractive anymore? This is why I miss him sometimes. At the end of everyday...there was always someone who thought the world of me. Someone who still loved me, even if I had flaws. They weren't flaws to him. Maybe that says more about my personality than my looks, but I know to him...I'm a 10. I can't believe i'm more than a 3. I don't know if I ever will. Even when I feel like I might be approaching a 7, you can place me next to normal girls, and I look like a wilting flower. It's hurtful. I'm ashamed to think of myself like this, but i don't really think I can just stop. Honestly, I know every single one of my flaws. It's not the words escaping from the people I care about's mouths. It's the stormy maze of thoughts my brain threw at me right afterwards. The main thought being "You aren't, and won't ever, be good enough to not be alone."

[featheredletters]

I've spent so much of my time staring at city lights. They reflect off of everything in the dark, and it's such a peaceful thing to look at them and know that it's just another night. Another night where children are read bedtime stories, new couples are having dinner together, old couples are watching tv and eating popcorn, singles are out on the town, laughing with each other. The lights are also a reminder that on the outside, things can always seem so peaceful and bright, but inside it's so complex and sometimes dark. It's a curious thing, the feeling I get when I look at the lights. Like my heart wants to leap from my chest and go flying across each and every one of them. I feel like I am alive, and even though I'm alone, so are the lights. Individually they aren't nearly as beautiful as they are together. Just because you are a single light that feels alone, doesn't mean you are. You have to look at it from the view of a plane. You are surrounded by other lights, and you are beautiful. I look at the lights to remind myself that i'm not alone. 

[featheredletters]

You've come back, and I have nowhere to hide. No one is there to cushion the blow. I'm just running in circles, trying to think of anyone, anyone but you. 

[featheredletters]

Oh hai...

If you wanted to come home with me, you can sleep in my bed. And I don't even care if you wake me up when you leave in the morning. You can hold my hand, or just cuddle, or you can just lay there sleeping next to me. All i require is your presence. So don't worry about the "neverminds, I should go homes, or maybe nots" because you can get everything you need with me.