nothing short of a FIASCO

the things i like are a mere reflection of the qualities i posess. this is the collective collague of randomness that has become my daily life.

[feelingsnfiascos]

“I was so used to playing “the game” when he offered me the real i didn’t even recognize it”

My Slow Ass🤦🏾‍♀️

[feelingsnfiascos]

It had been a while, but it hit like a brick

A cardinal came to see me today. Flew right up to my open window and sat at the screen, i heard the flutter of his wings as he landed.

The word cardinal comes from some Latin word that means “hinge”. As a verb that word means to attach, join. Spiritually it’s believed that this bird is the “hinge” between earth and the afterlife. When a cardinal comes to you, landing surprisingly close it’s believed to be a loved one back to see you, they’ve missed you, longed to be with you again.

Nothing about missing gets easier, to say it does is a lie. You don’t get stronger, heal... you’ve just allowed yourself to be distracted. Like when you first get a puppy and it cries at night from her kennel, after a while you can sleep. What was so loud, fades to the background. That’s death.

I miss you so big. It’s the only thing i feel at times. But for a while i looked at other things, long enough that what was a spike in my eye became a fleck.

And then you came to see me. Missing me like I’ve been missing you. I felt you take a deep breath, face pressed to the top of my head. I was in your arms. Warm.

-a chill. I open my eyes just to see him spread his wings. Reminded of the last time it was 2...then just 1 of us in the room. I hadn’t cried in a while. Felt that devastating hurt, so deep you gape open in despair. But today, just as perfect as your visit was, the reality hit like a brick.

Please....please come again, Dad. It was so good to feel you. To be seen by you.

[feelingsnfiascos]

Because i need a safe space:

I’m not at all unhappy, I’m just bored.

Everyone around me has their someone and then it’s me... friend- hey game night at my house. Me- ok girl, who all is there? (you know how niggas do) friends- lists ALL COUPLES! Me- y’all got it...

My ex thinks we’re friends and he can come to me for his exoteric journey to discovering his deeper self because “youre the only person who really knows me and i can trust” trash.

I’m not the one who got away, I’m just the one who’s always “there”

So why are you there? Because i do know him and after everything he is a true friend. And I’ve earned that trust. Hell, i built that man, i carved that stone! ....And maybe he’ll realize it’s me, or I’ll just be lost in the sauce forever. Sauce for $400, Alex.

I discovered this chakrubs gemstone sexual healing- need. Different stone different energy. I’m thinking I’ll buy the jade. Self love is important ppl get weird about it but girl you better fiddle that skittle don’t be out here backed the fuck up 🤷🏽‍♀️

I feel like cooking, but i have no one to feed. That’s my life in a statement. There’s things you have to do for yourself to survive. Feed. But to prepare a meal and sustain another... that’s love, that’s nurturing, that’s support. “You hungry?” Don’t that shit just sound lovely?!

A body i use from time to time let me know he’s having a baby... let it be known he’s a wonderful guy, smart, successful, over 6 foot... and to hear it i wanted to be genuinely happy for him but i was jealous. I don’t want his baby, but i wanna know that feeling.

At present, the things i most desire are the hardest to obtain.

I’m curious as to why ppls perception of me seems so out of reach. Several men recently have admitted their attraction but retracted their advances assuming i was somehow above or beyond them... i appreciate the solid recognition of queenin’ but why sell yourself short, count yourself out, I’m by no means beyond reproach and id like to build with someone too🤦🏾‍♀️

I need to be tattooed. The whole process is therapeutic.

Glock released the G43 in this muddy taupe color. Lil baby pretty fly. Bday gift i think. (June 9, cash app $MayaMatt)

I think my dog needs a sister.

Maybe it’s better that these men fall back in their own humility than me be sold a dream... hindsight do be 20/20

Saturday morning, bowl packed thinking i could rub one out and go buy some hydrangeas for my garden which is coming along beautifully. Shoutout to my southern homes and gardening ass.

Jamaica in 3 weeks 5 days... I’m hoping what my soul needs is the sun. To tie my locs high and let Jah recharge this melanin, elevate me, I’ve gotten low. I need to see the edge of the ocean meet the edge of the sky, to be overcome with the grandness of God.

I wanna be a wife. In the wholeness of the title- i want to queen for my king.

I just needed a safe space because i feel too and i think too but I’ve been alone, sending my voice to bounce from empty walls, so i came here... thanks for having me.

Roses below. Nail color- Meet My Decorator, OPI Breakfast at Tiffany’s Collection

[zodiaccity]

[zodiaccity]

Zodiac Gemini | TheZodiacCity.com

[jettestblack-deactivated2017080]

Look at this lol

[jeniphyer]

Buaaahahahahaha!!!

[hexensaber]

My friend Chris bought a 12 pound bag of peach rings and won’t put it down.

[pashionforfashion21allday]

These are my fav

[youngcasanovab]

Type of friends I need in life

[neekwuzhere-deactivated20191018]

Salute the real

[feelingsnfiascos]

Me AF

[nanyoky]

I want to write an alternative version of Romeo and Juliet where instead of being a little ponce and trying to work things out for himself, Romeo asks his smarter friends what to do about the whole thing and Benvolio and Mercutio come up with the world’s greatest plan:

Marriage of convenience between Juliet and Mercutio.

Think about it.

Juliet’s parents want her to marry into the Prince’s family. Mercutio is a good compromise between no marriage and Paris.

Mercutio probably won’t get his inheritance if he keeps being HELLA FUCKING GAY ALL OVER THE PLACE so a beard is only a benefit to him.

They would probably get along great rolling their eyes at how adorably stupid Romeo is.

Romeo and Benvolio could get a “bachelor pad” right next to Juliet and Mercutio’s house. Every night, Romeo and Mercutio high five as they hop the fence to go bang their one true love.

The second half of the play is just all of them trying to keep up the charade and being “THIS CLOSE” to getting caught all the time. But everything ends nicely because true love conquers all.

Everybody wins. Nobody dies.

[crystallizedtwilight]

[zombb-8-deactivated20190924]

THE SHAKESPERE AU I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED

[ladykaty]

DUDE DID YOU JUST FIX ONE OF THE MOST ICONIC PLAYS EVER CREATED?!

[lushthemagicdragon]

ONCE AGAIN EVERYTHING IS SOLVED BY THE QUEER LENS.

[angel-of-death-2015]

WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE

[feelingsnfiascos]

The Kids (glitter falls) they fix everything

[feelingsnfiascos]

#SundaySelfie

[cojo05]

[hplyrikz]

She did not need much, wanted very little. A kind word, sincerity, fresh air, clean water, a garden, kisses, books to read, sheltering arms, a cozy bed, and to love and be loved in return.

Starra Neely Blade (via hplyrikz)

[feelingsnfiascos]

if I ever knew love it was lying in fold with you, breathing oh my God

[respect-the-flow]

There’s a difference between somebody who wants you and somebody who would do anything to keep you. Remember that.

[feelingsnfiascos]

[tingsparis]

[pearlfectchassi]

Ella Fitzgerald and Dizzy Gillespie awaiting arrest in Houston, TX 1955. Yes they were Freedom Riders too!

[divalocity]

A Moment In American History

[lovefortv]

[feelingsnfiascos]

This tho

[deeplifequotes]

Whatever is real will find you. Believe that. Anything you lose is a lesson. Accept that. Whatever you gain is a lesson. Own it.

Malanda Jean-Claude (via psych-facts)