Coming back after a long time away, it’s very tempting to erase all the mess here, and not necessarily put anything better in its place, but at least make it look as though nothing bad ever happened. Sure there’s a lot of cool art, stories, and pictures of fun and interesting material gathered from other more successful places that would get trashed. But to delete the poems and the pleas, well, maybe there’d be no more record of the
desperation
hurt and the damage to others and Other
sadness, regret, and wrongful use of them
pitiful squandering of an otherwise fine situation anyway else
and maybe it’d look like I do have my act together; that I’ve learned something for the better in the meantime. I’d like to say that I have. Whether or not anyone else sees this besides myself, for whatever it is, be it a record of anything or merely a small collection of shitposts, it will have to speak for itself. Condemned to obscurity (most likely for the best) as it may be, it will not be erased. At the very least, whenever I get a haughty wind about me one mo’ ‘gin, I’ll end up back here and have to bear witness to my faults- to my weakness- and be humbled. As the record continues, perhaps the more pleasing sounds of the newer side will overcome the harsher ones from the previous; I’m not sure. But it will be played in this, its own space, and its own time, to speak for itself
for myself.
