Tales Trash @felinisfeloney - Tumblr Blog

sailatina3

jamm3rz

rocketbirdie

RIPPED CLEAN OUT

fortheknife

haaarpb

happy july 4th it is peaches day

namelessmm2

Milky way in the ocean

Belated Tanabata ‪🎋‬💫

yesornopolls

is kink always sexual?

Is kink always sexual?

Yes

No

Voting ended onJun 3, 2024

afloweroutofstone

Genuinely confused as to what half of this website thinks kink means

pawberri

People on this post are getting really vitriolic and it interests me so here's my attempt to present some examples of non sexual kink

A completely and sincerely asexual person has a fixation on vore specifically because it's a non-sexual form of intimacy. Outsiders view this interest as inherently sexual and there isn't a "safe for work" context for it, so it falls under the category of kink and fetish.

A person who likes the floaty high you get from engaging in masochism goes to a BDSM club to participate in a scene for the same reason you might go to the club to drink. They don't necessarily want to have sex or get horny, they just want to get kinda brainless from that specific feeling. Every once and a while I just ask my partner to slap my ass cuz the mental jolt feels good, but I don't want to do anything sexual.

An older person who has never heard the term age regression goes to "ageplay" events to participate in completely safe for work age regression. This is really common for people over, like, 30 and a lot of essential miscommunication happens because younger people hear an older person say ageplay is nonsexual (and mean it in a bdsm community context), when it really is true for them.

Someone goes to kink community events purely for the community, this stuff is sometimes purely sexual for them, but often they engage in it without sexual motives.

A person wears leather accessories because they view it as a proud part of LGBT history, but don't actually have any interest in leather as a fetish and don't intend to send a sexual message to anyone by wearing it

It's like how someone might go to shabbat or church while being an atheist. There's a spectrum from true believer who is doing everything in the name of god to person who enjoys an abstract feeling of spirituality to person who is genuinely just there because they're 65 and all their friends belong to that church or they want to talk to people and be social. You can say "well you must inherently be religious" but in practice people are really complex and do things for complicated reasons. If someone says "it's not sexual to me, but it's kink because that's what I've always called it" it's pointless to yell at them about how they don't understand their own feelings.

I think this becomes a sticking point because the "kink can be nonsexual" crowd sometimes insists that that also means "I don't have to tag this nsfw" online. Some extreme people might even be like "well I can do this whole bdsm scene in public because it's nonsexual." I think this is not right. In practice, all of these things should be tagged and done with regard to others' boundaries regardless of personal intent. They're intimate even when sincerely nonsexual. I mean, people should be allowed to wear their little collars and subtle kink stuff even in public, but you usually can't wear your collar to work at the office and you can't look at vore pics there either. Even when a tf of mine is meant to be comforting over being sexual I usually tag it adult because it's literally not safe for work.

pawberri

Idk if this is a hot take but I do feel like a lot of higher support needs or just "weirder" autistic people who have a fixation on something super specific get their interests scorned and end up considering their interest kink because of that. Like someone who is drawing every character from every cartoon they've ever liked doing something super specific really might not have any sexual intent, but the outside world isn't going to take that as a possibility. They probably gain more acceptance and support tagging it vore and joining vore discords and being in a vore community that includes lots of people doing it sexually than they would if they just insisted it wasn't kink and that kink only meant sexual activity. In practice, people see that the community they are accepted in is a "kink community" and then naturally say "well kink isn't inherently sexual" because they're sincerely not sexually into the thing they're really passionate about. Honestly this same thing happens with less niche stuff like bondage where some people just fucking love ropes and want to talk about ropes and tying things and are fine with doing it on a human body because you can have some rope community that way. Their interest in doing rope stuff sexually might even come AFTER the whole rope interest thing. Like the sexual part of the ropes can be a subcategory of their broader non-sexual rope fixation. Leather is even more broad where leather clothes were fet gear, but you couldn't possibly call them inherently sexual now.

pawberri

Tl;dr you can say "a nonsexual kink is just called an interest", but there are certain interests that are never ever going to be read by the average person as non-sexual. It's less work for more reward to say "I'm part of the kink community nonsexually" than to try to fight the uphill battle of getting normal people to accept your weirdo interest.