LaLaLaLaLa I can't hear youuuu.....

you're soaking in it.

[felistella-blog]

Oh friends. I've lost my father. It's been a rough road. Keep me in your thoughts until ... next time.

[annabellehectorsworldofweird]

[davislove]

I could have really nailed it at the science fair.

peachcherub addictedtotext atsirhc theadventuresofkatemarie sicklittlejag

[felistella-blog]

Hello. This is my first post in quite a long while. Might as well be this!

[felistella-blog]

I missed you guys.

Your faces. So good to see them.

[felistella-blog]

This day contained lessons I shall impart to you: 1. Bitches be cray. 2. Even when bitches be cray, my job is awesome. 3. Champagne is an acceptable post-workout libation. 4. A nice swatch of lemon zest is brilliant in champagne. Like, life-changingly brilliant. 5. Yes, that squiggly yellow mass is peeled lemon zest. I don't own barware, just a regular potato peeler. 6. I haven't been here in a while. You look real nice. How you doin?

[felistella-blog]

Hey everyone! We're in Italy, arrived at the family house way up north in the mountains. Raining, which we love, living in SoCal where there's a drought of epic proportions going on. Having a rough time, as you can see. I just took a video of the rain showering into my glass of kir royale (I *am* on vacation, after all). Hope all is well in your little neck of the woods. Wish you were here. Ps: congrats Blackhawks.

[felistella-blog]

You guys, I for reals don’t know what to wear to my graduation tomorrow.

It’s raining, and I don’t have the clothes for this shit. Ugh.

[felistella-blog]

Oh and I graduate tomorrow.

And I’m kiiiiinda not looking forward to it.

Lemme splain: it’s raining here, and we don’t do rain. So. It was already going to be crazy and long and boring but now it’s also going to be soggy and steamy.

But then we get to bloody mary brunch. I’m in it for the bloody mary brunch.

[felistella-blog]

So, I’m not sure if I’m quite “BAAACK” to hang out here yet. But I do foresee life changing back to a schedule that permits more R&R (and perhaps tumblring).

I got hired. And it’s more than just the half-time they originally set out for; I’ll be almost full time, and am kind of excited about it because that means I can go work one day per week in another part of the hospital and learn all kinds of groovy stuff (trauma unit: yay!!). We shall see.

Anyway.

I signed all the paperwork today, and even got my parking pass. Monday I go to an all-day orientation where they *feed me lunch* (squeal). And then Tuesday, I jump right in.

A lot of you here have seen me go through so much in the past 4 years. I’m in shock and awe and grateful that in my lifetime I got to have so many do-overs.

Don’t mind me, I’ll just be over here pinching myself for a while.

[felistella-blog]

Hot chocolate is good.

Hot chocolate with vodka dumped in is nap juice. Which is GREAT.

[felistella-blog]

2 years reduced and condensed. The useful books will stay on the shelf, but this stuff... It's all just paper. But so much heart & soul in there. Blood, sweat, tears, etc.

[felistella-blog]

On break. Prepping for my art therapy group. I accepted the offer for the half-time position. I start Monday. 5 days before I actually graduate. Andy's calling this time my "victory lap", and tells me I should pronounce "I piss excellence!" to everyone I see today. I've chosen to refrain. So far.

[felistella-blog]

You guys. Sometimes I’m not a *great* person. More on that later.

So, it’s Saturday night, late. I worked a full 8 hours today straight - all technical writing, boring, but all the eye strain and über-frustrating wtf-happened-to-all-your-files and learn-gotdamn-Word-you-assholes that I haven’t missed since I stopped working 19 months ago. But it was good to do it- needing money, etc.

I am pretty much done with school. Not just in my head. Like, I’m really done. I sent my last file off to Kinko’s to be printed. I will be attending one final “here’s how not to get thrown in jail as a professional social worker” seminar and then a quick turn-in class meeting. And that’s it. Internship hours finish up on Thursday.

I am getting hired part time. I haven’t signed the paperwork so it doesn’t feel real at all yet. And I am probably going to get per diem work at the hospital next door to make up close to 40 per week. It’s all looking like it’s going to work out. I’m in shock, though. It’s not real yet.

I got a really amazing opportunity the other day to shadow at the mental health/substance addictions hospital. It triggered a lot of things for me, but that didn’t really stop me from completely nerding out. I got to see some really cool shit those counselors do, and I tip my hat to them. I can’t do that work- not now. Maybe some day. But not now.

And it all came full-circle yesterday. One of my best, most beautiful friends in the entire world- an awful tragedy befell her. Something she’d been expecting for a loved one, but just not quite so soon. I got to be there for her, and I’m grateful. Even in the 21st century, alcoholism still kills.

I am thinking about making crepes for breakfast tomorrow. Something festive and delicious. We need that right now.

Oh. The owl picture. It has to do with someone in my program at school. She may or may not have this constant startled/scowling owl look on her face. I figure that the furrow in her brow is the strongest muscle in her body and could probably pull a tractor. If you hooked one up to her face. Anyway. Sometimes I’m just not a nice person.

[felistella-blog]

Also

I had an interview today for a thing. It went ok, I think. Will hear back in 3 weeks.

[felistella-blog]

Gettin back to home cookin. Braised salmon is healthy decadence. Arugula & baby kale tossed with fresh sake-soyake sauce. And in-season artichokes make me giddy-weepy. Feels good, man.

[deadali]

[maccaulfield]

[dogconstellations]

iguanamouth

[felistella-blog]

Close.

[felistella-blog]

hello my brain is broken

It’s been so long since I tried to post anything around here that just about nothing makes sense any more. How do I make for bullets? Wherefore art thou, italics?

So, as you may have guessed, grad school has actually killed me and I’m now dead. While mentally and spiritually Elvis has left the building, my corpse is still getting shit done. Amazingly.

Yesterday was a day. I can’t even explain it. It was unreal the number of things, the phone calls, the tasks, the assignments, the orchestrating, the getting-from-here-to-there and-back-again, ... It was distressing, almost. No. It was distressing. Too many things.

But I got it all done.

More and more days like this keep popping up, and more and more it drains something extra from me each time. But then I take a few breaths and look back and say, ‘damn, self, good job’. And also, ‘don’t do that any more’.

And so this is the part where I really catch you up. (pretend these are bulleted items):

I had a semi-Spring-Break. The first day back from break was to be the very big hairball exam that my life depends upon, so it’s not like I could very well fuck around the entire time. So some friends and I went on a short trip - wine-tasting and camping; one day each. Up in Big Sur. It was absolutely glorious. And not exactly restful. But I guess that wasn’t really the point.

I got back and I studied my entire face off. Just ripped wide open. Eyeballs fell out and rolled away somewhere behind the couch.

And then I took the test. And now I wait for the results.

So that’s one thing.

Another is that my internship is opening up a half-time position for me. This is a huge big deal and an awesome opportunity. 

But it’s half-time.

There were less than no guarantees going into this whole deal (going back to school) - I knew that I might have no job prospects whatsoever, and this field is notoriously difficult to: a) find jobs in, and b) make any money whatsoever. (you may wonder why the hell I decided to switch. well, that’s the story for another post.)

Anyhoo. The offer of employment at a very reputable healthcare organization in my town, 4 miles from my home, ... and not just that - doing the work I love that I know isn’t actually possible to do anywhere else (social workers just don’t provide this type of patient care in other organizations) - well - my god - 

It’s all unreal right now. And graduation in 36 days.

I have a presentation Monday, and just 3 more assignments to go. That’s it. The remainder of my efforts fit comfortably on one hand.

Like I said, grad school has left me dead and the ghost of me is a little shell-shocked. 

Oh hey! I just figured out how to make bullets.

Ah. Too late.