CURIOSITY / OBSESSION

[fellenaste]

" Tell our people to treasure those animals. I could not make them now. "

𝐅𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄. the final blessing. an independent, low activity rp sieblog for Ghilan'nain of the Dragon Age series.

Experimented on by SUNNY (30+ she/they) follows from @avrorean

warnings: explicit mentions of slavery, abuse, and body horror

[dreadblaidd]

His gaze tracked their movements, and a warm thrill cut through the chill of the ocean at her beauty.

Solas, too, made quick work of his clothes, his magic dancing along the fastenings as he stripped from the now pliant material. He waded forward just enough to toss them onto the beach. His clothes fell among theirs,a clash of deep reds and elegant blues. He bunched the priceless silk into a ball with a carelessness that would wrinkle. The sea green of the tide darkened the cerulean of Mythal’s court and saturated the ceremonial wolf pelt. Sand stuck in the delicate embroidered dragons, and the softened silverite of the chainmail left vulnerable to rust. 

When the tide came up, they would be lost, but Solas didn’t care. These heavy trappings of station were meaningless performance. In the eyes of this mystery of curiosity, eyes the color of the very sea licking at his hips, eyes that he could not tear his gaze from, was something far more tantalizing. 

He followed her further in, the cold water rushing to his waist. When they disappeared beneath the waves he went with them, emerging with a mess of auburn hair clinging to his skin. The water was cold, nearly cold enough to freeze, but Solas’ eyes burned when they met again on the surface.

Close again with naught but an endless depth below them, he brushed a strand of white hair from her eyes. 

“I go where you go,” said Solas, his voice low and earnest, “for as long as you will have me.”

[fellenaste]

She watched as the cold hand of the water traced a shiver through this man's body, but Ghilan'nain still felt the heat of him radiate through the ocean's embrace, and they watched him with lidded eyes that met the intensity of his gaze with their own to match. Purple, they noted, a heather field aflame.

She did not know his name—if he had given it when he stumbled upon her in the trees, there hadn't been enough interest for it to spark Curiosity's notice, at least at first—but in the wafting energy that lingered between them, she decided in that moment that she did not need to. The breathless wash of the Fade clung to him, pulling at the pieces of themselves that still shifted restlessly in this heavy and stone-forged form, and the familiarity was a weightless relief that spoke to what they once were.

It was a rare felt exhilaration, and for the feeling, for his following, they would grant him this special thing of theirs.

"Deeper," they said a second time, a breathless excitement coloring their voice and tailoring something airy and wisp-like to its ends. "If you would follow…"

They reached upward then, long and graceful fingers plucking air from the sky like fruit from the trees they'd both long abandoned and forgotten now, and pressed magic against his lips with intent. The taste of a spell lingered in the air between the two, and for their purposes, their will revealed itself.

"I would share the depths with you."

Ghilan'nain allowed her hand to linger for a moment, a nail brushing against the divet in his chin while heat and anticipation was shared between skin and gaze alike, but they did not await his response before catching another magic breath with their mouth and disappearing beneath the surface.

Air filled the hunter's lungs with currents of magic as they swam downward, with the graceful ease of one familiar with the motions. Ghilan'nain loved feeling themselves float beneath the waves, as close to the lost home in the Sky that they could get. And from the shadows below, a hand brushed at the swirl of her secret creations.

[dreadblaidd]

Solas’ hand traced her jawline, and he rested his head back against the tree. “It is not your words she wants, but your voice,” he sighed.

Purpose, as Ghilan’nain had named her, demanded nothing less than everything. Solas saw through it. Andruil wanted to keep them close. Ever present in her sight, as constant as the magic Ghilan’nain now plucked from the air. Even a wildfire would not convince Andruil to change her course; she would simply curse the flames and push through. "You can do anything you set your mind to, Arasha. You will overcome this."

He took another drag of the elfroot before holding it out for her. “If you are more often at court,” he tried, tilting his head to catch a glimpse of their face, “I can see you, at least. You know Mythal sends me in her stead.” It was a meager flicker of hope. It was already bittersweet every time their eyes met across crowded halls or long dining tables. A tortuous distance they could only close in shadow or here in their grove.

[fellenaste]

Ghilan'nain hummed their response, fountain of white hair tumbling like a stream across his legs and into the grass as she lifted herself at his offer. Though instead of simply taking the offered inatar, caught the lip with their mouth and brushed against his fingers as they inhaled. The smoke was sweet as it softly burnt the back of her throat, and she held it there while turning his words around in her head.

"The mind is set to many things..." they mused, letting the last trails of smoke sift through their teeth before expelling it entirely. Ghilan'nain pushed herself back up on her arms, peering at him with her dark, half lidded eyes.

"Court." They shaped the word with their mouth like testing an unripe berry, and made a face at the taste. She was, for all her wanderings, a scout—the purpose of Sulevhan had been to map the pathways of the wooded expanse of her lord's territory, and for all that Andruil's expectations were high and exacting, so long as duties were fulfilled Ghilan'nain was more often than not left to her own devices. But there was no room for crafting a creature from the sky, or racing wolven spiritborn to the sea, in the halls of a king's domain. "Rigid. Formal. A noisy thing, ma'alas. But... Many things yet to know. Some things to be shaped. I suppose."

Their long, spindly fingers mirrored his gesture and brushed along the sharp angles of his jaw. "And I can see you," she repeated.

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

[fellenaste]

And if I said there are a handful of myths and legends that survived to modern day Thedas that stemmed purely from pre-ascension ghil just being a lil freak in the woods

[fellenaste]

WHICH SUBTLE WAY OF SAYING "I LOVE YOU." ARE YOU?

"I'll wait for you."

you're a restless person, always moving from one place to another, perpetually occupied with something or other. people call you impatient. hell, you might even call *yourself* impatient! and that's fine, that's just who you are. but you'll wait for some people. you'd sit down and wait for them if they needed you to, and the first time you do, the first time you show them you'll stretch your limited patience to something limitless for them if they need it, it feels almost like a confession. you might not be very patient with the world, but there are exceptions you're more than willing to make. you're so good at making people feel like they're not a burden.

tagged by: @dreadblaidd

[freshmoviequotes]

Gladiator II (2024)

[laudogen]

"Thickening the darkspawn's bones and quickening their ichor was trivial. Other alterations are underway. Pools of blight are easily coaxed to produce darkspawn repeatedly. Some of their properties may change without prompting. Their flesh is surprisingly malleable. Vital. Eager." — Codex: An Improved Blight

"You say to craft creatures to protect our people. I have already given them my halla. I made them when I was younger. Untraveled. Naive. I did not know then what flesh could do when compelled. Tell our people to treasure those animals. I could not make them now." — Codex: Ghilan'nain's Reply

[fellenaste]

So, on this blog I lean into the idea that in her earlier days, in her way, Ghilan'nain had some streaks of rebellion or may have even chaffed somewhat at the restrictions their role in service to the gods may have kept her in. Strange for someone of whom modern legend describe as unwavering devoted in her love and loyalty to Andruil, right? So where does this idea come from?

The Halla.

We know that the Halla are beings Ghilan'nain created before she ascended to join the Evanuris, and she mentions that, at least in part, she made them for the People. The standout about them?

You cannot bind a halla. You cannot make a halla do something they(she) doesn't want to do. You can only get a halla's help if they want to help you. You have to ask. They react violently, and to the death, if you try to cage them. There's a sort of sentience inherent to the Halla unique from other animals that insists on both pride and freedom of choice, something very Last Unicorn about them. As the creator of the Halla, there's a mindset you gotta be in to make something like this.

This is not something you make when you're content in servitude.

That isn't to say she was purely chomping at the bit to get away from Andruil. You can't get away from their relationship being unhealthy or complicated, but they wouldn't have lasted past Ghilan'nain's ascension to godhood if there was nothing but cruelty and possessiveness between them. But I think Ghilan'nain still felt tight and confined in the life she was in, and found little ways to rebel against that role that was given to her. At least until the offer of godhood is made to them, which I think she initially sees as freedom for herself.

This is also why I think she believes she couldn't make something like this again. When you're the one binding yourself to power, you lose what you think freedom was.

[fellenaste]

super random question as i make solas disguises, but post-rebellion and pre-tree, what would ghil think/do if they ever encountered solas in disguise at court or somewhere? mind you i think he probably goes to great lengths to make sure they don't see him, but on the off chance

Honestly for the best that he does. Something to keep in mind is that, no matter what their current form or duty or who they're devoted to, Ghil is Curiosity. especially if we're talking specifically pre-Tree. And especially regarding Curiosity that didn't fully take to its body, so isn't as separate from her nature. Encountering Solas in a situation like that just ramps questions into overdrive, even if they're managed to be kept just internal.

because it's not that she'd intentionally give him away, it's just. What she is. if they see him where he shouldn't be, or doing something questionable, they can keep a lid on it for a time but you can visibly see the questions burning. babe WHAT are you doing.

Best course of action if it becomes an issue is honestly appealing to their nature. We'll talk about it later type beat. It placates it without satisfying it by having to divulge sensitive information, especially if he's in middle of enemy territory, and doesn't unnecessarily implicate her if he's caught.

[dreadblaidd]

from @fellenaste: White hair spread in a silken river across Solas' legs where Ghilan'nain rested, the pair drawn quietly under the open sky. Their attention had been captured by a creature that seemed half pulled from the sky itself, pinched between her fingers as deep colored eyes took in its little intricacies. Gently, always gently.

"Lady Andruil has called me to her court in Suledin," They announced suddenly, the bulbous thing flapping stray magic from its wings as she turned it once, then again, before releasing it. "She enjoys my creatures, she said, so she wishes to favor me. Maler'era. I don't understand the correlation."

----

Solas’ fingers carded through Ghilan’nain’s untamable hair, his other hand removing the inatar from his mouth to exhale the gently burning elfroot in a puff of white smoke. He watched the little creature as well, wondering after its name and its beauty. It showed no fear, none of that primal emotion Renan had once dismissed as instinct. This was not a creature caged, but one content in the hands of its maker.

His brow furrowed, but he stayed silent as they watched the little thing fly to the freedom of the skies, knowing they remained tethered to the ground. “She would have you speak for her?” Solas frowned at last. It was a task to which his arasha was ill-suited. There was no room for creation in parroting the words of a king, and Ghilan'nain had ever shied from the spotlight. “I too fail to see how that is favor." He leaned back to watch the clouds rolling overhead, and his thumb traced her cheek now in a silent comfort.

"Perhaps...there is a way to steer her towards a different path?" he mused, ever the problem solver. "Convince her that you cannot devote yourself to the creations she so admires if you are bound in the duties of court?" Such a gamble might have worked on Mythal, but Solas had little hope Andruil could be so reasonable. Once her mind was set, he had seen little that could dissuade her.

[fellenaste]

"Does it not tread closely to rejection?" The words were phrased in the form of a question, but it was more idle musing on their part than anything. Still, they couldn't fully keep the note of unease from slipping into the distant thrum of their voice.

Leaning her head into the gentle brush of his fingers, Ghilan'nain brushed a hand of her own through the air and watched how magic swirled unforming. Though this time it was not for creation, but instead as one might dip their hand on the surface of an idle pond.

"Perhaps it is a hunt on command that she wishes of me?" They mused to themselves, pressing their mutterings into the creases of his palm. Though Ghilan'nain disliked that even more, to just to watch them die in rapid succession in the way that she might desire. With a sigh they spoke again, more directly to Solas. "It was Purpose who pulled me from the sky. She is as steadfast in her decisions now as then."

If she caught her mistake, they didn't show it. Ghilan'nain might still hold to Curiosity, or whisper to Wisdom in the hollow of his throat, but Andruil's disapproval of the use of her self-name since the scout's body was crafted was far from hidden information. But Ghilan'nain only stretched across his legs like a cat, seemingly content in her misspeak.

"And yet if I cannot convince her of this, I do not know what good I will prove as a priest for her will regardless."

[fellenaste]

ꕥ ･°･⊱ DYN: DREADBLAIDD. ∣ ‘regret’ is the piece of you i’ll always carry.

[dreadblaidd]

Solas burst through the tree line, racing with them to the banks of the ocean. As quickly as they stopped he shed the wolf, stumbling with a laugh as his bare feet sunk into the sand beside her. He caught his breath with his hands on his knees before straightening, lightheaded and still laughing. 

He stood a breath away from her, framed by the cascade of her white hair as his own flowed wild and free. His eyes were drawn to the flush of exertion on her cheeks, and the slight part of her lips, but ever his gaze returned to the wide depths of her eyes. He reached out, running his fingers through what strands of her hair he could catch as the wind whipped around them.

“I have seen you touch the sky,” he murmured. “I have chased you through the land, and I stand now before you on the shores of the sea.”

Solas grinned, and though he remained facing them, he walked backwards with sure steps into the ocean. He laughed breathlessly as the cold sea foam rushed over his feet. His violet eyes never left the green of deep waters reflected in hers even the cold water licked his knees.

Above the roar of the sea, he called to her. “Where shall we go next?”

[fellenaste]

She chased her breath as he had chased her moments ago, remnants of a hunt on either side adding flavor to the salty air, and his laughter still ringing a sharp harmony in their ears as he stepped away. This new being, wild and unfamiliar, sparked an endless curiosity.

And with a slowly spreading smile to lock their interest, they moved, undoing the clasp at her throat that bound the top of her hunter's garb. All at once, leathers and cloth alike softened impossibly at the insistent brush of their own magic until they slipped from skin as if they, too, were no more than water. Ghilan'nain tossed them in a barely considered pile on the shore, thinking only of the next step and possibility, as the distance closed between the pair once more.

"Deeper," was all she said, voice kept low and stepping close that he might hear her over the raucous call of the sea. Only when the next low wave brushed against their legs did they pull their eyes from his, meeting the water's embrace and disappearing briefly beneath it. When Ghilan'nain emerged again, their white hair clinging in a stubborn mess to their skin that somehow only emphasized their dark eyes as they locked on this new and interesting presence, beckoning him to follow.

[fellenaste]

extremely normal things happen in my game that mean things to me specifically

[dreadblaidd]

hey @fellenaste how we feeling in this chilis tonight

[dreadblaidd]

Solas’ keen eyes widened at the new life crawling around the tree, but his eyes were inevitably drawn back to her. This strange, curious spirit he’d found breathing life into new ideas. He would have left if they asked, but instead they let him follow far beneath, tethered to the ground that had made them as she danced closer to the sky.

At last, she slipped to the ground in front of him, closer now than they’d been since he’d first caught sight of them high in the branches. 

“Hello,” he greeted in a low voice, and smiled.

The sun that shone through the canopy of trees bathed the angle of her nose and slope of her cheek in warm light and shadow. Wild, untamed ashen hair cascaded over their lithe shoulders. Does he like the sea? More than they knew, and he was lost in the depths of it in her hooded eyes as she gazed up at him. 

He opened his mouth to speak, but she dashed away.

Solas stood for a moment alone, his smile broadening to a grin as he recognized the challenge. He shifted his form into that of the Wolf. Not to its fullest size, that beast of war, but smaller and more nimble. Better suited for the chase.

They were quick and more familiar with these woods than he, but the wolf was a hunter, and he tracked their trail. When he caught up with them he wove in and out of trees around them, sometimes following, sometimes leading, and always with mischief in those six eyes that shone with the Fade. It was an evershifting dance, until finally he ran side-by-side with her as they raced to the sea. 

[fellenaste]

For a time, Ghilan'nain had wondered if she had lost him. It did nothing to slow her pace, of course—it would hardly have been the first time some curious pair of eyes had tried to match their fleeting attention only to dim when the chase, in whatever the form, had proven an erratic trail to follow. But there had been nothing of the sound of footfalls in her wake, and if he were as dissuaded as the rest, they would not mind.

Already whatever interest he'd inspired had begun to slide away into the mindless, bounding thrum that only came in a race against the wind. It never fled her anymore than she could catch it.

And then the shadow fell. Ghilan'nain's dark eyes widened, confused at first when the bestial form of a wolf caught itself at their heels. But there was a taste of active magic in the air, and recognition in the beast's great glowing eyes. Though they didn't dare slow their pace, her breath would catch if there was a breath to spare.

So they marked the path through the engulfing wood with a pace determined to match his own; a rhythm had been found in how they ducked and weaved around one another without clear direction. Ghilan'nain's lithe form seemed to melt around the forest like water whenever anything stood in their, bending and weaving between branches and fallen longs without ever letting an obstacle hinder her pace. They wouldn't allow it. Not now, not when she had found someone so interesting. A spirit whose nature they were too enraptured in the chase to catch lit a smoldering trail in their wake as it caught the exuberance they left behind before falling away with a harmonic chime, delighted with the burst of feeling they left in the magic in the air.

The treeline broke at last into a burst of open sky, the crashing sound of waves a welcoming crescendo, and a reward for their shared endurance. Still Ghilan'nain ran, her pace not slowing till the earth melts into sand beneath their feet and the sand sunk with the damp weight of the sea it kept in its embrace. Only then did they turn to find the man in the trappings of a wolf, white hair whipping around her face and framing eyes blown wide and filled with questions. Curiosity.

"Hello," they said breathlessly, a response at last.

[fellenaste]

dirth vc: what up stupid

“Legally speaking, I would never react to such words, my lord. However, you may find a complaint from your priest awaiting you upon return to your temple.”