FENRIS
why hadn’t he thought this through. why had he assumed that it would be anyone but Hawke showing up here this late — oh, right, perhaps it was because for the better of three months now the tevinter fugitive had been doing his best to avoid the man. and it had been working, until now.
the first few weeks were the most frequent that Hawke had dropped by, unknowing to the warrior, Fenris would stand on the other side of the door as the man called out to him, the dull ache in his chest becoming heavier at the grief in his usually cheerful tone. he would wait until the voice ceased from outside the mansion, until he heard the faint resemblance of a sigh and ultimately the retreating footsteps. it never got any easier, and yet still when he heard the familiar voice asking for him he stood and listened. Fenris felt he owed him that much. the visits became less regular, and eventually he stopped coming at all. that was several months ago now.
the sudden stab of guilt that pierced his chest was something he had not been expecting, but then, he wasn’t expecting Hawke to be here at all. the elf grasps for words, anything to say as the other pushes past him and further into the mansion. he looked … terrible to put lightly. honey hued eyes once bright and filled with amusement down seemed dull, caressed by dark shadows beneath them. he looked thinner, still defined given the heavy sword he carried and wielded day to day, but definitely thinner; under the thick brush of his beard he can see the cheeks hiding there are hollow. he feels sick seeing him like this. he is the reason that he looks this way.
❛❛ Hawke … I — ❜❜
it is hard to tell if the warrior is drunk or simply exhausted, perhaps both, but definitely one of them as he stumbles to regain his stance. he sees the man wobble, and he doesn’t know who reaches for the other first as Hawke begins to slump — but his arms are wrapped around him, and subsequently Fenris holds him too. he tells himself he only remains like this to keep the man from falling, but in reality, so good to feel the other’s arms around him once again. he finds himself whisper unknowingly aloud.
❛❛ what have you done to yourself? ❜❜
Nothing too serious -- he WANTED to say, nothing that would cause any kind of discomfort toward any of them. Had he known that comfort zones are more expanded through discomfort -- then perhaps he would have stopped himself mid way through the journey just to get at this point. However, there was no stopping these heavy dragged feet once on the right path. Knowing full well that this was the destination, excluding the part as to where exhaustion nearly weight down shoulders, collapsing forward. Lips parted, wanting so desperatly to apologize, to submerge himself in the other’s serenity ( If the elven would give him such -- no surprise if that was set aside for now. )
“ --- the lack of sleep fogs up my brain and I can barely function without rest or food. I’m ---” The words stop while intently staring into eyes from such close distance. Forward lightly pressed to one near by -- tips of fingers sparsely pat on the cheek bone.
“ I’m terribly sorry, Fenris. --- ” The name hadn’t been said outloud for weeks, rolling off his tongue in a single breath. All is well, at least the door opened this time --- at least it was that face in which peeked way between the crack of the dilapidated wood and arms now wrap themselves around own being --- the warmth that caused the shakes to halt and the awareness of such health conditions to be more apprehensive. Hoping, however, that such obvious ailments were hidden but the rest of him. The dark pupils under his eyes were cast away by a smile and a small tilt to the head; scruff growing against the higher cheek bones, growth of hair adhering from the back of neck -- along with cold hands, at least there was a matter of looking the same and being recognizable from first glance. It was BEST to put the little flaws aside and just enjoy this moment now.
“ --- have you eaten?” From first glance, he looked tired of anything but more well than own presentation; quite embarrassing, really.
