SYNOPSIS: The very first time Abby realizes she might be into girls.
this fic belongs to the pride & bloom collection ♡!
WC: 2.7k | CW: just a fluffy meet-cute! + abby discovers something about herself. maybe the slightest mention/hint of her dating men before??
a/n: i've had this fic written down for over a week now and it's finally out!! hope u love it as much as i do. also, feel free to join and send a pride-themed request— the event closes on the 25th so we still got plenty of time left
Abby’s not entirely sure how it happened, but she’s standing in the middle of the Pride parade carrying a tote bag full of snacks and a hoodie Lev insisted on bringing despite the heat. He’s beside her practically vibrating with excitement, and Yara isn’t doing much better herself.
“Why am I here again?”
“Oh shush,” Yara gestures vaguely, a smirk forming in her lips. “You love us.”
“I tolerate you.”
“Love you too, Abby.”
Abby rolls her eyes, but as she watches Lev smiling at something across the street, the corner of her mouth tugs upward too. Seeing him happy matters more to her than she’ll ever admit out loud.
The parade itself isn’t bad either. Every corner of the street seems alive with laughter, dancing and the kind of easy joy that’s impossible not to get swept up in. Yes, it is louder than she’d usually prefer, but nice.
A line of booths stretches along the sidewalk. Some offer food, some sell handmade jewelry, others even give out brochures with information about local organizations.
“Oh! Let’s check ‘em out,” Lev grabs Abby by her sleeve, and soon the three of them make their way down the street.
Most of the booths blur together after a while, but one in particular catches Abby’s attention. The table is covered in handmade items— colorful bracelets representing each pride flag hanging from display racks, stickers spread across the surface in little rows, small pins that glitter under the sunlight.
The sign propped up near the register —which turns out to be just a shoe box— explains that all the money is going toward helping fund a friend’s top surgery.
That’s so nice, Abby thinks to herself as she reaches for a sticker. Two pink scissors pressed together blade-to-blade, surrounded by tiny hearts.
“Huh.”
“It’s one of our best sellers,” a voice says.
Abby hums, chuckling slightly just as she looks up and opens her mouth to make a joke. As her eyes set on your face, she forgets what she was about to say.
The afternoon sunlight catches the edges of your hair, and your wrists are covered in so many bracelets Abby isn’t sure how you manage to move your hands. A rainbow lanyard hangs around your neck, and she notices you’re smiling at her. God, you have the prettiest smile she has ever seen.
“Hi,” you say, waving at her with joy before looking down at the sticker in her hands. “It’s cool, right?”
Abby’s brain immediately abandons her. She’s suddenly very aware of the weight of the tote bag hanging from her shoulder and the way her fingers seem to burn right where they’re holding the sticker, which seems to be for far too long now.
Flush creeps up the back of her neck. “Uh… yeah, it’s— it’s cool, yeah.”
“Thanks,” you chuckle lightly, your smile growing bigger. “I worked on these all week.”
For some reason, Abby finds herself smiling back as soon as your laugh hits her ears. Soon, smiling turns into staring, and this quickly turns into her realizing that she’s staring. She looks away so fast she nearly gives herself whiplash.
What the hell is wrong with her?
Thankfully, Lev chooses that exact moment to step forward.
“No way. Did you make all of them?”
“A couple,” you nod. “My friends helped, too.”
And just like that, the conversation takes off. Lev asks more about the fundraiser, while Yara compliments the bracelets. You’re telling them all about your friend, who’s standing right next to you and shoots them a shy smile every now and then.
Every few seconds, Abby’s eyes drift back to you. She can’t help but notice the way your hands move when you talk, gesturing passionately; the way your face lights up whenever you bring up the fundraiser into the conversation, the way you laugh—
God, your laugh. It’s so warm and contagious, it makes Abby want to keep hearing it over and over again.
She doesn’t realize she’s staring again until Yara elbows her. Abby furrows her brows slightly, while Yara’s expression makes it clear she’s having far too much fun now.
Across the table, you glance at her again and shoot her a smile. Her stomach immediately twists, and she manages to smile back while making eye contact… that lasts only two seconds, because she can’t fight the urge to look away almost immediately. Her cheeks are burning red, heart stammering against her chest.
What. The. Hell.
Abby has talked to plenty of attractive people before, but she’s never spent an entire conversation wondering if she’s making too much eye contact only to immediately panic and stop making it altogether.
“So, are you guys enjoying the parade?”
Your gaze lands on her. God, you have to keep looking at her cause she’s clearly making it all weird, right? That has to be the reason why.
“It’s awesome,” Lev answers after a few seconds, giving Abby a sideways glance.
“It is,” you agree, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. It’s a simple gesture, but it makes Abby’s stomach flip. “This is absolutely my favorite holiday.”
The conversation continues for a few more minutes before Lev ends up buying three stickers, Yara picks out a bracelet, and Abby leaves with the scissors sticker because she was far too embarrassed to put it down.
The second they’re out of earshot, the siblings look at her with narrowed eyes.
“What?”
Yara’s smirk widens. “Nothing.”
“Stop looking at me like that.”
Lev rolls his eyes at her words, but opts for letting it go just this time. A few minutes later, he gets distracted by a food stand while Yara disappears toward a display of handmade earrings.
Abby shoves her hands into her pockets and glances around, her eyes drifting back toward your booth. By accident, obviously. She notices a bracelet hanging on the rack that she hadn’t seen before— pink, purple and blue beads woven together.
Before she can think too hard about it, her feet are already moving. A minute later, she’s standing in front of your table again.
Your face brightens immediately. “Hey! Back already?”
“Um, I—” Why is this so difficult? She points at the small piece of jewelry. “I like that bracelet.”
You glance toward the display, humming before you hand it over for her to inspect. Your fingers brush for less than a second, but it sends a shiver down her spine nonetheless.
“The colors of the bi flag are so pretty,” you lean your elbows against the table.
Abby nods. Yes, the colors are pretty. A second thought follows— you are pretty. She shakes her head to try and focus, looking down at the bracelet resting in her palm.
“They are.”
Really? Is that all she can come up with?
You tilt your head slightly, a soft smile lingering on your lips. “Hey, I didn’t catch your name before.”
“Oh,” she nearly drops the bracelet. “I’m Abby.”
“Abby,” hearing her name in your voice sends an inexplicable flutter in her chest. “I like it. That’s a pretty name.”
“Thanks.”
“Is this your first Pride?”
Heat immediately crawls up her neck. “Is it that obvious?”
The sight of her blushing right in front of your table makes you chuckle. God, she is so cute.
“A little.”
“I’m here for Lev,” she admits, glancing over her shoulder and spotting him a few booths down, excitedly waving a handful of stickers at Yara. “He’s had a rough couple of years, so when he asked me to come…”
You nod before she can even finish.
“You said yes,” your expression immediately softens, following her gaze. A smile tugs at your lips at the sight of the kid with the shaved head. “He seems so sweet.”
“He is.”
“That’s so nice of you,” you glance back at her, noticing she put the bracelet down on the table. “Y’know what? Since you’re so supportive, I’m giving you a little gift.”
Abby’s eyebrows knit together. “What?”
“This is on the house,” you gently push the bracelet toward her.
Oh God. There goes her heart again.
“No,” she shakes her head, already reaching for her wallet. “I can pay for it.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I want to.”
Your smile softens. “Why?”
Abby opens her mouth, but nothing comes out. She can’t exactly say what she’s thinking: because I want an excuse to stand here longer. Instead, she says:
“It’s for a good cause.”
For a second, you simply stare at her. She’s about to mutter something else, when your expression brightens.
“Okay, but—” you reach beneath the table and pull out a small sticker. “Let’s compromise. This one is free.”
It’s a tiny cartoon house outlined in rainbow colors with the words Safe Space underneath. You slide it across the table toward her, and warmth settles inside her chest. When Abby glances back up, you’re smiling at her again.
“Thanks for supporting the fundraiser.”
The sincerity in your voice catches her off guard.
Abby leaves a minute later, deciding to get out of there before she embarrasses herself any further.
Unfortunately, she does come back a second time. She spots a pin she’d missed earlier, making her return easy enough to justify. The third time is a little bit harder, because she apparently needs another sticker.
The fourth time she returns, she doesn’t even pretend to be looking at the merchandise anymore. She just finds herself drifting back toward your booth. Every conversation feels easier than the last— you tell her about your friend and how much the fundraiser means to them, Abby tells you about Lev. You make fun of the scissors sticker and Abby threatens to throw it away, but you both know she won’t.
By the time the afternoon starts slipping into evening, Abby’s accumulated enough bracelets, pins, and stickers to open her own booth. As the crowds begin thinning and vendors start packing up for the day, Yara volunteers to go get the car.
Abby barely hears her, too busy staring across the street. Your booth is nearly empty now, a few boxes sitting on the table while you carefully take down decorations. The sight settles strangely in her chest, like something is ending before she’s ready for it to do so.
“You should go talk to her.”
Lev’s voice startles her. Abby tears her eyes away from your booth long enough to glare at him.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Abby”
The look Lev gives her is so unimpressed that she almost laughs. Almost. Instead, she groans and drags a hand down her face.
“I don’t.”
She glances back across the street. You’re standing on the tips of your toes trying to unhook a pride flag from the side of the canopy. A second later, your friend reaches up to help, and the two of you nearly bump heads.
Your laughter carries faintly across the distance, and Abby’s stomach immediately does that weird thing again. There it is, that feeling has been following around all afternoon and she can’t seem to make sense of it.
“I’ve never…” she trails off.
The words feel strange in her mouth. It’s all new and confusing, a little terrifying even.
“I’ve never felt like this before.”
She expects teasing or at least some sort of dramatic reaction. Lev will never let her live this down and—
“Okay.”
Abby blinks. “Okay?”
“Yeah,” Lev shrugs. “It’s fine.”
“That’s it?”
“What do you want me to say?”
Abby opens her mouth, then closes it almost immediately. Because she doesn’t actually know.
Her gaze drifts back to you. You’re carefully stacking the few remaining bracelets into a small box now, chatting with your friend as the two of you pack everything away. The golden light of the setting sun catches against the colorful beads wrapped around your wrist.
The sight makes her chest ache, but not in a bad way. Just enough to make her realize she doesn’t want the day to end.
“What if I don’t know what this means?” she asks quietly.
Lev follows her gaze. For a moment, he doesn’t say anything, waiting patiently as they both watch you pack your stuff. Then, he nudges her shoulder.
“Then you don’t know.”
Abby snorts. “That’s not helpful.
“Sure it is,” he smiles softly. “You don’t have to figure everything out today, Abs.”
The words settle deep inside her chest. It’s so simple, but they carry so much weight. She’s spent the entire afternoon trying to understand what’s happening inside her head instead of letting herself just feel it.
And maybe that’s all she needs right now. Not to figure out what it means or how to label it, but just allow herself to feel.
Lev watches her for a second before a knowing grin spreads across his face. “You should probably go get her number.”
Abby wants to groan and tease him back, but she notices you just finished packing away another box. The sight sparks a sudden burst of panic, because in a few minutes you’ll be gone. If she leaves now, she’ll probably never see you again.
Before she can talk herself out of it, she starts walking toward your booth once again. Behind her, Lev pumps a fist into the air as he watches her make her way to you.
By the time she reaches your booth, you’re folding the last tablecloth. The second you look up and spot her, your entire face brightens.
“Hey! My favorite customer’s back.”
Abby laughs despite the heat crawling up her neck. “Favorite?”
“You put the fund in fundraiser,” you pint at the collection of bracelets, pins, and stickers peeking out of her tote bag. “I’m pretty sure you’ve personally financed at least one post-op appointment.”
Abby can feel her pulse in her throat. “I— Glad I could help.”
“You definitely did,” the smile you give her is so warm it makes her heart skip a bit. “Thank you, Abby. Really.”
God, the way you say her name should not have such a huge effect on her, but it does.
Around you, the festival is winding down. All the other vendors are packing away decorations and their merchandise, and people are filtering out into the streets. Still, all Abby can focus on is the softness in your expression as you look at her.
This is ridiculous. She’s asked people far scarier questions before, yet somehow this feels impossible.
After a few seconds of silence, you tilt your head slightly. “Everything okay?”
Abby exhales slowly. Okay. It’s now or never.
“Actually,” her hand finds the strap of the tote bag, fingers tightening around it. “I was wondering…”
“Yeah?” you prompt, the encouragement in your voice making her heart stumble.
She glances down for a second before forcing herself to meet your eyes again.
“Would you maybe want to—”
The words catch in her throat, and she can practically hear Lev laughing from across the street. Still, you wait patiently, a gentle smile on your lips.
Okay, Abby, get it together.
“Could I get your number?”
Your eyes widen slightly, and a grin spreads across your face. Oh no. Was that bad? Too forward? Too weird?
Before panic can properly settle in, you say:
“I was starting to think you’d never ask.”
She looks taken aback. “Huh?”
“Well,” you blush, and Abby can’t help but notice how cute and pretty you look all flustered. “I was hoping you’d come back one more time.”
“You were?”
The smile that spreads across your face is answer enough.
Without thinking too hard about it, she’s already pulling out her phone and unlocking it to hand it over to you.
“Good thing I did, then.”
“Good thing you did,” you agree, fingers brushing hers as you take the phone.
She watches as you type your name into her contacts, a small smile tugging at your lips the entire time.
“See you around?” you ask hopefully, handing the phone back to her.
Abby glances down at the number in her phone, then back at you.
“Yeah,” this time, she doesn’t have to force the words out. “See you around.” For the first time all day, Abby’s confusion doesn’t feel so overwhelming. Whatever this is, she’ll figure it out. But as she slips her phone back into her pocket and walks toward a grinning Lev, she has a feeling this is exactly where she needs to be.
hi this is me desperately begging for more cassie mckay headcanons because i am DEPRAVED
✉️ of courseeeee my love! hc's are so fun to do especially when they're just general thoughts abt being in a relationship w cassie mckay :,) ugh a girl can dream! I hope you enjoy & I love you soooo much!
demure! mentions of cassie having a rough past, mentions of pregnancy, general the pitt hospital mentions, some sexual implications but nothing explicit! not proofread wc 2.3k
–– Cassie has the motivation to live life outside of the PTMC, which is a trait her co-workers tend to envy. She can self-actualize for things she truly wants & will take her time away from the ED to invest in them, which has grounded her a lot & has made her a very mature person to be in a healthy relationship with. For those reasons, I believe she is goal-oriented & would very much like to have an ambitious girlfriend who helps to push her to try the things she wants to. Together, Cassie wants to spend time outside enjoying life with her person, so there’s some granola vibes. Go-to dates & quality time for her involves being outdoors, so dates with her I imagine take place during the day with an activity & then y’all go back to yours or hers to spend the rest of the night relaxing. She’s big on hiking & camping. Definitely has a mental list of all of her favorite trails & knows which ones are more difficult than others because she isn’t one to write things down, but she has an excellent memory. Will order you your own pair of hiking boots & lace them up for you with you sitting in the trunk of her car before you guys set out <3 & also has an affinity for making different kinds of trail mix, funnily enough. I can also see her being a big sports fan. Probably like baseball & maybe football, but she loves taking you to games over the weekend as well. Harrison comes to those more often than not, but Cassie loves it because she gets to watch you try & match all of your guys’ outfits & it feels like a special family outing. It just makes her happy when her girlfriend helps her invest in her interests!
–– Going along with her being more inclined to pursue recreation, I can see her wanting to play instruments. Obviously guitar is the easiest one to have around her apartment so I think that’s what she would go for, with it being on the smaller side & not being overly loud & just more convenient. & as for the actually learning part of music such as notes, keys, & scales, I think she would pick up on quickly, EXCEPT she never really has the time to practice so she’s not very good T-T Cassie wanting to learn a song & play it for you but she gets shy & spends more time hiding away while trying to get the motions in her fingers so she doesn’t embarrass herself when you ask to see what she learned T-T Cassie is very good with her words & communicating what she feels for you, but she’s not super into grand gestures of love/affection. Very much a more chill girlfriend, so learning how to play your favorite song for you or even teaching you how to play it, even if she’s not a pro, is probably the largest she’ll go in terms of actions, because if she wants to show you how much she loves you, she’ll just tell you! & Obviously, she’s already good with her fingers, but this just puts it over the top for you… Watching her be so concentrated while her knuckles bend & she gets these callouses on her fingertips that feel amazinggg when she’s curling them somewhere else other than the strings <3
–– Doesn’t strike me as the type to cook. Obviously, she can & she will if she has to, with Harrison & all, but Cassie isn’t well-versed in many dishes or recipes because she never had the interest in learning nor the time. I think there’s a very basic rotation of meals she has, which Harrison will complain about from time to time, but Cassie sticks to what she’s good at. That being said, when her girlfriend starts staying over for dinner & cooks for her, it will absolutely win Cassie over in every way possible. She’s not a picky eater; that was never the problem, so she will eat absolutely anything that you put in front of her. It’s a sweet thing the two of you adapt to: you laying out potential meals for the week & getting her input on what she wants to try & then her coming home & absolutely melting at the sight of you in the kitchen cooking <3 Cassie is very domestic at the center of her being, so seeing you so comfortable in her space is everything she could ask for & more! Her job is so hectic & draining that coming home to what feels like an actual home is very healing for her, especially if she’s had a difficult day. All Cassie wants is to get home from her shifts & be doted on by a pretty girl <3 She loves taking care of you, honestly, but in those moments when she’s exhausted from the day & not even an after-work shower is enough to rejuvenate her, Cassie needs to sit at the kitchen counter & feel loved from you making food for her & her son. I think that she would love having a light-hearted girlfriend that’s big on optimism–one that tells her about her day instead of pressing on difficult topics Cassie doesn’t like to take home. & if you do ask about Cassie’s day, you try to get her to focus on all of the positive things she did. Truly such a bright light for Cassie when her girlfriend makes their home all warm & cozy & sees all of the good in the world & reminds her that there is joy to be found!
–– Loves loves lovessss seeing her girlfriend wearing her clothes! Going back to the kind of granola vibe I believe she has outside of the PTMC, I think Cassie is a very sustainable type of person, so she has a lot of older clothing. Oversized & stretched out, ratty t-shirts with old bands & stuff that she thinks is adorable to see on you. The concept of you smelling like her & wearing something that belongs to her makes her feel all sorts of cuteness aggression. That, & a touch of possessiveness because, yes, that is her girlfriend & other people should know that because you’re wearing her clothes. You usually never wear her clothes out & about because you have differing styles, so that’s another thing that’s extra special for making your guys’ apartment feel like home. Like you can unwind & relax into each other by wearing whatever & not being overly concerned about it. Cassie’s favorite is you just wearing her old shirts & a pair of panties to bed. You always look so soft & she LOVES your legs, but mostly because you’re comfortable enough around her to wear something that’s not yours/give part of yourself over to her. Cassie is big on trust & comfort! Wear nothing underneath & she’ll love it even more.
–– Cassie, who teaches her girlfriend how to do handy things like fix a tire or a leaky sink, because she gets nervous over the fact that: “what if I’m not around someday & you need to fix something yourself?” Which you hate when she says that, always mumbling “Not funny, Cass” even if she’s laughing. Even if you complain about not wanting to, Cassie will have you change out of your pretty, dainty tops into something you don’t care if gets a little dirty & teach you, walking you through it & keeping an eye on your hands as you follow her instructions. There’s always the present need for her to take care of you, which includes making sure you can take care of yourself. Plus, she likes seeing you look to her with big eyes, waiting for her to guide you to the next step. There’s something intimate about learning to do things together or helping someone with something that Cassie just can’t get enough of because if there’s one thing she loves, it’s to feel desired & needed. Strangely, lots of your bonding with her is done whenever she’s teaching you how to do some kind of handiwork, just because she gets a bit nostalgic & tells you all of these stories about her parents & what it was like for her growing up :,) It’s very sweet, listening to her talk & laugh & be so carefree while you’re there having no idea what you’re doing while trying to focus on your task, but it’s hard because your girlfriend is right there being so cute while also telling you what to do :( Many good laughs come from moments like those.
–– Cassie had a tough time figuring out what she wanted to do with her life, & made some poor decisions along the way (some she’s grateful for now, but many she can identify as being young & stupid), so she’s now a very cautious person. She’s stabilized her life, & likes where she’s at, believes she’s in the right place to continue growing into that person she’s determined she wants to be, so if she believes something is right for her, she will absolutely go for it. It’s difficult for her to change her mind. That being said, that same stubbornness is multiplied tenfold for relationships. Being a mom, Cassie obviously has to be careful of who she dates & is always considering Harrison, so in a rare situation where she clicks with a woman who has her shit together & things feel like they’re meant to be, she will lock down that woman quickly. I don’t think she’s one necessarily to believe in fate or things being meant to be, but Cassie will know if she’s found her person, I think. She’s not the kind of woman to want to have a challenging relationship (except maybe for some play in the bedroom). She wants things to feel like breathing: effortless & comforting. So if Cassie believes you’re the one, expect an invitation to move in with her after a month. Maybe marriage before your first anniversary. Even if she is cautious in her love life, I think it would only be while she’s actively looking for a girlfriend. Once she’s found The One™ then it’s like a flood gate opens.
–– Cassie is quite level-headed & good at compartmentalization, so she often doesn’t look for comfort from her partner, but for other things like feeling needed & desired! I know I’ve mentioned this in many of these hc’s, but it’s one of the core features of a relationship with her. Part of it is because she’s desensitized from her work at the Pitt, so when she’s with her girlfriend she would rather be all loved on instead of having the stress of repeating her entire day & realizing how she had no reaction to some of the things that happened, & part of it is because she’s just to that point in her life where she’s mature with handling situations. She loves getting compliments after being dogged all day by patients & Robby, she loves you recognizing how smart she is & how useful she is to have around. To make Cassie happy, ask her to do things for you! Let her coddle you & maybe do some coddling yourself! She likes to be the little spoon but also loves it when you lie on her chest! It's a very 50/50 relationship if you’re dating Cassie. Everything is fair & equal, & it reminds her that she’s not just a doctor. But she’s someone’s love that comes from an unconditional & unrequired place <3
–– Again, the relationship Cassie’s girlfriend has with Harrison quite literally makes or breaks the relationship. Her son will always be her priority, even if her partner is right up next to him, so it’s obviously crucial that you get along. She would inform you of the fact that she’s a mom early on into getting to know each other because she wouldn’t want to waste her time or get emotionally invested in someone who doesn’t want all of her, & then once you do start dating, I think she would have you meet Harrison right before she asks you to be her girlfriend. Maybe you guys would spend the day together just so she can get a read on energy, but honestly, not even an entire day is needed. Just a few hours before her intuition is kicking in. Then, seeing you with her son is her favorite thing in the world. The two people she loves most giggling together & being happy is everything that she needs most in the world, & she will do everything to get it/keep it that way. & also, not necessary, but I think she would love having a partner involved with children! Like a teacher or something, maybe, because being a mom is such a huge part of her identity & she would love someone who understands how to take care of & handle children. & I think she would definitely want more kids after seeing how well you take care of her son. Cassie loves kids & she loves doting on you, so she constantly thinks about you being pregnant. Not that she would ever outwardly bring it up until you expressed interest, but whenever you carry Harrison around, it is the only thought on her mind.
–– She is quite intuitive, good luck with trying to hide anything from her! Not that she wouldn’t give you privacy if you need it, but she never falls for surprises or you trying to trick her because she can just tell something is off somehow lol
xtra thoughts has a weird obsession with dirty sodas, very much into rock music but she doesn’t have spotify premium & never will so she’s very picky with making playlists, not a big jewelry person but likes it when you pick out little pieces for her to wear, lives for casual acts of dominance, loves lazy days but needs to have some form of workout every day, I think she had an experimental phase where she dyed her hair a bunch of different colors, not a big fan of pets, is insufferably good with patience especially when it comes to you, huge advocate of happy wife = happy life
❥・summary; as an R2, dr. mckay is your attending. you've formed a relationship that's difficult to define on both ends, but gods, is she good in bed.
❥・tags/warnings; pwp, sub!reader, dom!mckay, strap-on use, strap-on referred to as 'dick/cock,' doggy style, hair pulling, spanking, condescending!mckay to sweet!mckay, fwb, the slightest bit of pining, aftercare, fluff, forbidden romance, lowk just because of coworker relations policies, nothing too crazy, younger!reader, only by 10ish years, author knows nothing about the medical field.
❥・wc; 3.2k
surprise! ig i'm multifandom now lol. should i start taking requests for pitt ladies #lmk
minors dni.
“you’re an R2 now, you can take patients by yourself.”
you sigh, crossing your arms as you stand opposite cassie. the corners of her lips are lifted in a small smile as she nods her head toward trauma three, where your newest patient is waiting. 24-year-old blue collar worker who was exterminating under a house when the crawlspace collapsed in on him. blunt trauma to the head is extremely likely, his lungs aren’t in much better condition, and there’s certainly other injuries that are awaiting your assessment.
“it just feels weird, i mean, you were there all last year-”
“i know. i’ll be here if you have any questions, but you’ve gotta leave the nest at some point, yeah?”
you sigh, giving a nod, and cassie whispers an encouraging “go.”
you pad over to trauma one, knocking on the door before introducing yourself. the man is awake and responsive despite his condition, even trying to smile at you. a tough one, you think. he’s covered in dust and debris, as well as gashes and wood lodged into any bits of exposed skin. thankfully, he was wearing protective gear on the job, so his state is a lot better than it could’ve been. he’ll make it, so long as you do your job right.
you order morphine through a drip, then page for dr. garcia to ask for further instruction. never remove a foreign body, you remember cassie telling you. leave that to surgery. call garcia, and she’ll decide what to do from there.
“you’re in good hands,” you tell the man- thomas, you’ve learned from his record- giving the most encouraging smile you can. “we’re gonna perform a minor operation to get the wood out of you, then disinfect your wounds and clean out your lungs. you should be out of here by the end of the week.”
“thank you,” he says, and you nod once again as you finalize the order. dr. garcia exchanges glances with you before she assesses the situation, and you head out to report back to cassie.
no longer dr. mckay, cassie.
“he’s doing well. good vitals aside from shallow breathing, but that’s to be expected. some wood lodged into his ankles and neck, no major arteries impacted, and i’m waiting for further instruction from garcia.”
“good,” she affirms, and you feel something light up within you.
the relationship between you and your attending is.. complicated. both of you keep it professional within the walls of pittsburgh trauma medical center, not wanting to ring any alarm bells for any of your colleagues. not wanting to start a messy situation that results in someone losing their job, or worse, a lawsuit.
outside of the pitt, though, you’re close. that’s the easiest way you think you can put it. you’re good friends, finding common ground in music taste, your favorite books, and sense of humor. you find cassie incredibly fascinating, considering she seems to have lived several lives in just one- and she finds you promising. a bright student, an excellent doctor. empathetic, with a strong sense of discipline.
the fact that you look up to her goes without saying. she’s older, more experienced, and has overcome a lot to be where she is in her career. she’s incredibly humble, nonetheless, and you only hope that one day you can boast the same way about your own life.
the two of you have vowed to speak about work as little as possible outside of it. you see enough in the emergency room, you don’t want to dwell on the devastating reality of your job for any longer than you have to. you spend more time at her apartment than you do yours, flirting over takeout and downing wine together like you get paid to do it.
you’re not quite lovers, though. very close friends, as cassie puts it. you started hooking up about three months into this friendship, and two months after that, you asked her the fateful “what are we?”
and cassie sighed, smoothing her auburn hair back with a heavy sigh. “i’m not saying you’re not worth committing to, because you are,” she said, lips pulling into a thin line. “but i’ve just got so much shit going on in my life right now, i’d feel bad roping you in. between this damn custody battle and the restraining order and trying to keep myself out of trouble.. it just wouldn’t be fair, you know?”
you do know. despite cassie telling you that you’d make a great girlfriend and almost treating you like you’re actually hers. and as much as you want something more with cassie, you’re aware of the workplace policies. you’re aware of the importance of your education and career above all else, so you affirmed what she said and told her it’s best to keep things the way they are. it’s been pretty easy, actually, and you’re happy with the arrangement you have.
but fuck, when cassie looks at you with those warm eyes and tells you, “you did a good job. he’s in good hands, keep it up.”
you want to jump her bones.
instead, you muster a quiet, “thanks,” before she leads you back into the room to get started on working on thomas.
you’re good at turning off your personal feelings and urges. you have to be in order to get anywhere in the medical field. but the aching for her lingers in the back of your mind, festering there because you have no time to quell it otherwise.
on a slow day, you’d excuse yourself to the staff bathroom and plunge your fingers inside yourself while clapping your other hand over your mouth. making futile attempts to get yourself off, when you know cassie manages to do it so much better for you.
“scalpel, prepare saline.”
“heard,” you put a sterile pad on top of your tray and get to work preparing the supplies as thomas waits, the iv drip working to put more color to his complexion.
all you need to do is get through this shift.
you offered cassie a ride home from work. you ended up getting out later than expected, and considering her legal battles, it’s been difficult for her to find the money for a car. you double-parked outside of her townhouse, giving her a little smile and wave, but the woman furrowed her brows in feigned offense. “you’re not gonna come in?”
that’s how you wound up on her bed.
just light chatter at first. her tossing her head back in laughter, a magical sound, her loose hair falling over her shoulders. she’s stunning.
“fuck, you can’t say that,” she gasps, but her smile betrays her. you laugh along with her.
“what? i’m just saying what nobody else will.”
“you’re gonna have to repeat your residency if you keep this up,” the woman playfully shoves your shoulder, which just makes you laugh even harder.
“alright, i’ll cut it out,” you resign. “only cause you’re so gorgeous.”
her brows raise, and the corner of her mouth tilts up in a little smirk.
“oh, flattering me now, huh?”
you shake your head, inching closer to her as you feel the air thicken between you. your heartbeat starts to pick up, your mouth goes dry, but you still muster a playful smile to mirror hers.
“not flattering. just being honest.”
“you’re dangerous,” cassie whispers, voice low and husky, and without a moment’s notice, she closes the distance.
it starts off slow, sweet even. her lips moving against yours in a steady rhythm, an addicting ebb and flow. your hand finds the nape of her neck, tangling in soft locks as her hands creep underneath your shirt to find your waist. her cold, calloused fingertips make you gasp against her mouth, and cassie’s tongue slots between your lips.
slowly, she lays you back on the bed, crawling on top of you as you let out little sighs and hums against her mouth. she breaks loose for one second to tug your top over your head, smiling as soft tits spill out, then connecting your lips once more.
she leaves wet, open-mouthed kisses along your jawline, then down to your neck before forming a seal and suckling. her teeth lightly nip at the skin, causing you to jump and shiver, and she just smiles against you. cassie’s hot tongue soothes blooming hickeys that you’ll undoubtedly have to scramble to cover up at work tomorrow.
“you want this?” she breathes out, as if you’d ever say no to her. you nod frantically, and you feel her chuckle against your throat.
“there she is.”
cassie pulls her own top up and over her head, revealing the scarred skin you adore so vocally. she unclasps her bra, and you swear the sight never grows old. plump. heavy. perfect size for your hands.
something tells you, though, that she won’t be the one being taken care of tonight.
your suspicions are all but confirmed when she kisses down your torso, starting at your collarbones, pressing her slightly-chapped lips to your tits and taking one of your nipples into her mouth. suckling as she starts to massage the other one, pinching and rolling the nipple with her finger and thumb. just that makes you whine.
she laughs lowly against your breast as she swirls her tongue around the bud, making you start squirming underneath her and your breath quicken. it really can get to be embarrassing, how needy you get for the other doctor- but how can you not be, when she can read you cover to cover? when she can please you this fucking well?
“so pretty..”
cassie releases your nipple with a wet ‘pop’ before descending down the valley between your breasts, your stomach, right to your pubic bone where she hooks her fingers into the waistline of your pants. she looks up at you with expectant eyes, a silent request for permission.
“yes,” you breathe out. “please.”
she scoffs in mild amusement before pulling them off and discarding them to some unknown corner of her room. her eyes widen the slightest bit as she looks at the damp patch on your panties, clear as day. her middle and ring finger find your clit through the thin cotton, rubbing over your clit and making you squeal.
“you’re already so wet,” she murmurs. “did i do that, baby?”
“mhm, can’t help it..”
she huffs and shakes her head, clicking her tongue as she rubs in slow, mean circles. your hips start to roll against her hand, but she pulls her hand away as quickly as it was there.
“uh-uh.” cassie reprimands. “flip over. ass up. panties off, get yourself ready.” she pats your thigh twice, her voice taking on a more commanding tone that makes your pussy clench around nothing.
“i’ll be right back.”
you could scream. you’re so worked up already, why does the woman have to be so mean? it’s clear as day how bad you want this- want her, yet you know that’s part of the thrill.
cassie might enjoy testing your patience, but she’ll always give you what you need in the end.
so you roll over and scoot closer to the edge of bed, getting onto your hands and knees as you hear the rustling of her digging through drawers and the clinking of metal. your hand trails down your body, past curls above your clit, then sink deep inside you. you’re damn near dripping onto your inner thighs already.
you dip two fingers deep inside, scissoring them inside of you and letting out helpless little mewls. it feels good, but not as good as cassie’s fingers do. you feel weak. useless, almost. the woman has thoroughly broken you in, rendering you only capable of pleasure by her hands.
then you hear the zipper of her jeans going down, and she pads back over to you within seconds, rough hands smoothing over your ass. deceivingly sweet.
pussy glistening in the light, back arched so prettily, all for cassie. she chuckles lowly to herself as she watches your fingers go in and out, thoroughly soaked in your arousal, before one of her hands closes around your wrist.
“alright, enough. you’re ready.”
you whine, but retract your hand and immediately feel the fat head of her strap pressing against you. teasing, not quite going in yet, you can already tell it’s going to be difficult to take this. a shiver runs up your spine.
“please,” you breathe out, and cassie chuckles yet again.
“jeez, didn’t know you were that needy..”
regardless, she starts to press in. feeding you inch by inch and giving you the burning sensation of being stretched, you let out a choked moan. she’s not even halfway inside.
you start to grip the sheets as she goes in further and further until the woman is bottomed out, thick cock buried deep inside you. cassie doesn’t give you a minute to breathe before she starts moving, and you gasp like the air’s been punched from your lungs.
“fuck- ah!”
“yeah, that’s it,” she breathes out, hands settling on your hips and tugging your ass impossibly closer. “shit, you’re a wreck.”
cassie pulls out halfway, then slams back in, then repeats again and again. fucking you at an animalistic pace as her rough fingers dig into the fat of your hips, tugging you closer to her, letting out low grunts.
every time the plastic tip kisses your cervix sends you closer to oblivion as lewd noises spill from your lips. “ngh- please, more, fuck-”
“more?” she laughs, slamming into you even harder somehow with a pause for emphasis. “greedy fuckin’ girl.. it’s okay, i love it.”
cassie drills into you, your walls fluttering around her thick cock and your nails near tearing through her sheets now. she grabs a fistfull of your hair and you yelp at the harsh sting, yet it hurts so goddamn good.
“ungh- shhhiiiit,” you cry, and cassie’s free hand comes down on your ass before grabbing hold of it yet again.
all that’s audible is the slap of her hips against the plush of your ass, strings of moans and grunts from the both of you, and the obscene squelching noise of your sopping cunt.
you’re too far-gone for words at this point. it’s like your brain has been wiped clean if only for a moment, and your ears stuffed with cotton.
“awh,” cassie coos, voice full of mock-sympathy as she pistons into you again and again. “my smart girl, all dumb when she gets dick.”
you can’t even argue. you just nod with all the energy you have, weakly pushing your hips back to meet hers in a desperate attempt for more. she lets go of your hair only to push your head into the pillow with her iron grip, slightly muffling your moans.
from where your head is, you can see the slightest glimpses of her. messy bangs stuck to her sweat-coated forehead, her pretty lips parted, her heavy tits bouncing with every thrust. cassie’s lips sinking into her bottom lip as she looks between your legs- strap coated with your arousal, cunt throbbing and gushing all for her.
an absolute visionary. a piece of living art.
she swats at your ass again, making you squeal out and whimper.
“that’s alright,” she breathes out. “i’ll just think for ya, huh? yeah? this what you needed, dirty girl?”
you nod once more, and cassie scoffs. you feel yourself climbing higher, the familiar knot in your lower stomach forming. coiling tighter and tighter, so fucking close yet so far- cassie knows your body like no other, and her hand moves from your ass to between your legs, landing two fingers on your swollen clit to rub quick circles.
you near scream, cassie folding over you and grunting into your ear, feeling her breasts push against your back. “you gonna cum? already?”
“yes-” you gasp. “yesyes-”
her fingers press down the slightest bit harder, and you shatter.
white-hot pleasure coursing through your veins as you scream, pussy spasming around her cock and leaking onto the bedsheets. she fucks you through it, rocking into you with harsh groans- like she’s the one being fucked.
you swear, your ears start ringing for a second.
“there it is,” she encourages. “that’s it, gettin’ all over the place.. you love this, huh? love it when i turn that pretty little brain off, sweet thing?”
you nod weakly, frantically, your breath and words failing you. “yes, yes-”
slowly, cassie’s pace comes to a winding halt. she delivers a last few firm thrusts before pulling out, silicone fully coated in sticky cum. she huffs in amusement.
you let your fingers loosen from the bedsheets as your breath slowly evens out, and cassie unbuckles the harness from her hips.
“..you okay?”
her voice has switched from the dominant woman that was just rearranging your guts to the sweet, caring woman you became close with. you nod weakly against the pillow, and cassie giggles. she smooths her hair back, grabbing a half-empty water bottle off her nightstand and taking a swig from it. then gestures for you to sit up.
your limbs feel like jello, your mind is still catching up to you. but you maneuver yourself into a sitting position, and cassie presses the tip of the bottle to your lips. you take gentle, steady swigs from the bottle until the plastic is crinkled up and empty.
“there you go,” she murmurs. “feeling okay?”
“more than okay. that was.. wow.”
she huffs and laughs, shaking her head. “wow is right. you were great too, for the record.”
“didn’t know there was a record.”
“there’s not. i’m just saying.”
you smile and playfully elbow your side, cassie gasping as if she’s been fatally wounded. “i know. i’m messing with you.”
cassie rolls her eyes before draping one arm around your shoulders, coaxing you to lay down on the bed beside her. purposely avoiding the wet spot you’ve left, you curl into the warmth the older woman offers and sigh. her arms are a safe heaven. her lips brush against your forehead, and you press a chaste kiss to her collarbone.
“you’re warm..”
“am i? i’m usually told i’m cold..”
you shake your head weakly against her. all fourteen hours you worked are seeming to catch up to you at the same time, weighing down your eyelids and lacing your voice with exhaustion. you snuggle up closer to cassie, and her free arm wraps around you. fingernails lightly scrape your spine, up and down, making your eyes all but flutter shut.
she sees your weary expression, and isn’t feeling much better herself. she’d feel awful, though, if she just let you go to sleep like this. so she gently shakes your shoulder, and a groan escapes you.
“come on, honey. we should get you cleaned up.”
“fuck that,” you grumble. “just wanna sleep.”
cassie’s instinct is to argue. to insist. that’s the doctor in her- but cassie herself understands perfectly well, and vows to get you properly taken care of before you head to work in the morning.
“okay. i hear ya.” she presses another chaste kiss to your forehead, before letting her own eyes slip shut.
summary: you stop by the hospital to return baran’s jacket but also to pick up emery for breakfast, leaving baran with a mess of conflicting feelings.
word count: 1.5k
tags: mcsteamy reader; jealousy; mutual pining; more slow burn; swearing (emery makes an appearance lol)
a/n: not sure if the title makes the most sense but i can see the connection in my head and that’s all that matters ig lol. next part will have more direct interactions!
<PREVIOUS PART>
“Hey, D.” You approached the central nurses’ station from the ambulance bay, a tray of coffees in one hand and a light-blue athletic jacket in the other. “You know where Baran is?”
“Why are you here?” The charge nurse asked in lieu of an answer, appraising your jeans and sweater over the bridge of her glasses.
“Baran lent me her jacket after the whole cric fiasco, so I thought I’d return it to her.” You held up the article of clothing like it was evidence and set the drink tray on the counter.
“Al-Hashimi,” Dana pointedly corrected, a lilt of teasing in her voice, “is in south 15 treating a patient, doing her job. You ever heard of that, Barbie?”
“Ouch.” You clutched your chest with mock offense before holding out a cup for her to take. “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.”
Dana’s stare sobered and softened slightly as she accepted the drink and took a sip, letting out a hum of approval when she tasted her usual order.
“So you came all the way down here on your day off just to return a jacket?” Dana raised a brow, not bothering to hid her disbelief, and you couldn’t blame her.
If it were anybody else’s jacket, you would’ve just held onto it until your next emergency consult, and who knew when that would be. No, actually, you wouldn’t have even done that. If it had been anybody else, you would have just given the jacket to Walsh or Garcia, or even Shamsi, and had them to return it for you.
Yet, here you were, on your rare day off, bringing coffee for people, all to return Baran’s jacket.
Baran.
You had only interacted with the woman twice but there was something about her that piqued your interest. Obviously she was attractive, there was no questioning that, and she was clearly more than competent to run the ED, seeing as the department was no longer one breakdown away from complete collapse. But there was something else, something more, that caught your attention.
Whether it was the way she carried herself with a composed air of compassion, or the fact that she didn’t back down from your flirtatious quips, or how her big brown eyes practically bore into your soul every time she looked your way, you weren’t sure. But whatever it was, it had you down in the emergency department at 7 am with the hopes of speaking with her again.
You couldn’t exactly tell Dana all of that, though based on the look she was wearing, you had a feeling she already knew.
Before you could explain why you were really here, the woman in question approached you, her soothing voice cutting through all the chaos.
“Doctor—” the syllables of your last name rolled off Baran’s tongue with ease, causing your insides to coil— “to what do we owe the pleasure?”
“I wanted to give this back to you.” You held up her jacket before pushing the tray now holding only two cups in her direction. “I also come bearing caffeine.”
“Oh, thank you.” Baran smiled, pleasantly surprised, as she took the jacket from you. “You didn’t have to come all the way down here just to return this.”
She noticed you weren’t in your scrubs, your autumn outfit making you look softer than usual.
“I wanted to see you.” Your lips curled up into a grin, and Baran clung to the trace of earnestness in your voice.
Then, as if to play it off, you shrugged and added, “I had to pick something else up anyways.”
Baran’s eyes narrowed barely, but before she could ask further, Emery Walsh ambled up to the station. “So I’m a thing now?”
“Finally,” you groaned, rolling your eyes as you plucked the cup of coffee labeled “DC” out of the tray and handed it to the other surgeon. “You usually take this long to do a routine cholecystectomy?”
“Just trying to match your speed, Spook,” Emery retorted, taking a sip of the drink before scowling. “What the fuck is this decaf shit?”
“You have a problem.” You shot her a glare, one that told her you knew about her personal consultation with cardio a couple weeks ago. “You can get order whatever you want at breakfast. My treat.”
“You spoil me,” Emery snarked as she downed the rest of the coffee.
Baran watched the interaction with an itchy feeling creeping up her spine. She couldn’t tell whether this was just another instance of you being naturally flirtatious or if you and Emery were going on a breakfast date. After all, you had come all this way on your day off just to pick up the surgeon. Either way, Baran felt a pool of envy twist in her gut.
“I should get back to my patients,” she excused herself with a tight smile. “Thank you for returning my jacket.”
Sensing the shift in the other woman, her expression more tense and posture more rigid, you softened. “Wait.”
Baran paused, turning slightly on her heels as you grabbed the last paper cup from the tray and held it out for her.
“This is for you.”
As Baran reached out to accept the drink, her fingers brushed against yours, the slight contact sending a jolt straight to her chest.
“Your usual.”
When she raised a questioning brow, you chuckled awkwardly. “I asked around.”
Baran couldn’t help the amused glint in her eye at the sight of the faint blush dusting your cheeks. There wasn’t enough time to figure out the whiplash of emotions she had just experienced in the last five minutes, so Baran simply raised her cup.
“Thank you,” she said your name fondly. “I hope to see you around.”
“Likewise,” you replied, a satisfied smirk creeping back onto your lips.
Nodding, Baran turned on her heels and disappeared into the chaos of the emergency department. Your eyes followed her retreating figure, admiring the curves and angles of her movements, committing them to memory.
“You’re drooling.” Emery’s deadpan voice interrupted your trance.
You slapped her hand away from your face, earning a laugh from her. “Shut up,” you grumbled.
“I see Yoyo wasn’t lying.”
“About what?” You frowned at the idea of your two friends talking about you. The three of you had a friendship where if two of you were talking about the third behind their back, it was usually out of concern. While that concern did manifest itself in the form of snippy, sarcastic comments, it was still concern nonetheless.
“You have a crush,” Emery sang with a teasing grin.
“What? No, I don’t,” you refused quickly, too quickly, which Emery noticed, her grin widening even more.
“You returned her jacket,” Emery noted.
“After she lent it to me,” you countered, but the other surgeon ignored you.
“On your day off,” she finished with a pointed look.
“And—” she held up her hand to silence whatever argument you had ready— “you brought her coffee, her usual at that.”
Emery wiggled her brows suggestively.
“I brought you coffee,” you argued teasingly.
“Yeah, but decaf,” she said it like a curse word.
“Because you’re a bitch,” you quipped, and Emery let out a hearty chuckle.
“What are you two still doing here?” Dana’s Yinzer accent interrupted your bantering as she reentered the nurses’ station. “Go talk about Barbie’s crush somewhere else,” she said, having clearly heard enough of the conversation.
“Not a crush,” you corrected, grabbing the empty drink tray from the counter with one hand and pulling Emery’s elbow with the other.
“Okay, lover girl,” Dana muttered under her breath, shaking her head at you and Emery, as the two of you continued to bicker on your way out.
From across the department, standing at a computer, Baran watched the entire exchange with narrow eyes. While she couldn’t hear the words you and the other surgeon were exchanging, to anyone with eyes it looked like flirting, and based on the little she knew about you, she’d take one guess to say that’s what was happening. You and Emery seemed to interact with an ease and familiarity, and Baran couldn’t help but wonder what kind of history was there.
As her eyes followed you out the door, she took a sip of the drink you had given her. The familiar flavors of Assam tea with a splash of milk and just a dash of sugar hit her tongue, and yet it tasted warmer, sweeter, as if somehow the fact that you went out of your way to find out her order changed the taste.
“Hey, doc,” Dana’s voice snapped her back to the moment. “Labs are back on South 15, and we got an ambulance ten minutes out. Girl with a failed epi-pen”
Baran inhaled sharply and straightened her posture. “Thanks, Dana,” she said, taking the tablet from the nurse to scan the lab results.
As she moved to go check on her patient, her half-full paper cup still sitting on the desk, Dana interjected with a knowing smirk, “Don’t throw that away. Looks like it’s got some important information on it.”
Baran frowned, but before she could ask, the other woman was already walking away. Turning around, Baran picked up the cup and rotated it. As the sleeve slid down an inch, she finally noticed a line of digits scribbled on the cup and she knew it could only be one thing.
