REGULATION

[feyhea]

*healing

[feykazuki]

hea‌.

[ ... ]

❛❛ kazuki? ❜❜  

she whispered the name, her lips pursing against each other in a small frown as she had waited for a response, before continuing, wanting to be sure that the man was aware of his surroundings and he was alright with her bringing him in the store to get him cleaned up.

❛❛ let’s get you inside, yes? ❜❜

it’s wrong to turn up to someone’s workplace, bloodied for a reason he already knows he won’t reveal and expecting hea to patch him up like she has for the past times he’s been ridiculously close to passing out in front of tokki. but the immorality of the entire situation isn’t enough to stop him from dragging his feet towards the familiar street for the third time, paying little attention to the murmurs of others and the wetness that he feels from the open wound on his cheek. shit, he thinks belatedly, i hope she doesn’t mind.

the first time he had come cross her whilst torn up and injured had been an accident, but the memory stays fresh in his mind like a scar. the startled look on her face, the way she hesitated before reaching out to help him, ready to scold him before she remembered who he was and immediately closed her mouth — she’s comforting without trying in a way that’s unknown to either of them.

maybe that’s why he can’t stop going, why he won’t stop going.

“sorry, the fuckers used silver on me.” kazuki at least somehow manages to muster up the decency to sound a little apologetic, back pressed against the window of her store when he feels a careful hand against his forehead. (the first step she always takes.) his eyes are downcast to focus on her shoes so he doesn’t see the wave of disappointment in hea’s expression. he knows he doesn’t look good: a flurry of bruises on his face, some scattered across his body and a deep cut on his side from a silver knife that’s painting his shirt red so he goes, with some semblance of comfort, “at least it’s not as bad as last time.”

he nods at the suggestion, boots scraping against concrete as he heaves himself up, wincing at the sharp pain. hea’s just so small, even moreso against when standing next to him and there’s a pinch of pity he feels when he sees her surveying him. it’s a mere few steps to the store and a mere few steps inside before he can sit, but he thinks he’s just reopened the wound on his side and if he way he’s biting his tongue isn’t a sign, the falter of his legs are. 

there’s a brief moment of silence, before, “is it alright if — uh, if you could you help me walk?”

[feygunwoo]

circadian rhythm

[feykazuki]

gunwoo‌. 

[ ... ]

And, Jesus, Gunwoo pretends there isn’t a newfound wetness in his eyes from how real it all feels. All he can seem to do is mumble Kazuki’s name incoherently, eyes shut tight, fingers grasping at as much of Kazuki he can find. 

Yet, all that runs through his head is: please don’t ever fucking leave me.

(He doesn’t know what he’d do if he ever lost him for good.)

intimacy is ugly from afar.

there used to be something uncomfortable in the way the other  managed to fit himself into the cracks of kazuki’s life in spite of the latter’s attempts to hold him back. regularity in an irregular world is dangerous, even more so when they’re young boys with hot blood in their veins and a proclivity to end up bloodied and bruised. yet somehow, before either of them notice, the discomfort has lapsed into a routine that ceases to exist without the pair together. 

their routine breaks one day,  because kazuki leaves and gunwoo stays.

it doesn’t stay like that for long. the earth turns on its axis despite everything, the sun rises in the morning despite everything, and gunwoo and kazuki find each other again despite everything. they tell themselves that nothing has changed.

except it has.

“gunwoo, jesus, breathe — ” he awakens to hands grasping at him as though they’re afraid he’ll slip through their fingers, awakens to a choked sob from the other and muffled words that he can barely make out. the fear is palpable, almost tangible with how thick and heavy it is in the atmosphere around them. when he fully awakens, there’s a dull ache in his chest that has everything to do with the way gunwoo is digging himself into kazuki’s heart (as though if he tries hard enough he’ll bury himself inside), leaving a bitter taste in his mouth “gunwoo, listen — listen to me, i’m here, i’m real.”

kazuki bites his tongue so hard he thinks he’s going to draw blood any second now, his own fingers reaching up to ruffle through gunwoo’s hair slowly. his other hand is hesitantly placed on the younger’s back, thumb stroking small circles between his shoulder blades as he murmurs assurances despite the outbursts. “it was a dream, just a nightmare.”

intimacy is ugly from afar, yes. but intimacy up close, the way they slot into each other like puzzle pieces — it’s not ugly at all.

[feyzihuan]

berserk.

[feykazuki]

zihuan‌.

           it’s quiet.  too quiet.  the two of them are many, many things, but they are not this.  they don’t do quiet, they’ve never done quiet.  and yet tonight, for some strange reason, he can hear the wind whispering and the crows cawing.

          fuck that.

          let’s make some noise.

          “come now, zuki,”  he drawls, leisurely pacing down the empty street, his silver bat dragging along the gravel.  “i know you’re out there.  won’t you come out and play?  i’ve been so bored lately.”  a short laugh cuts through the silent air.  “wanna know a lil secret?  i was thinkin’ ‘bout you last night.  you, and how pretty you’d look with my hands ‘round your throat.  bet you’d get off on that.”

          his lips curl upward as he slows to a stop next to a street light.  “hey, zuki.  how’s your hearing?”  that’s the only warning he gives before he raises his bat and strikes the side of the metal lamppost.  the brilliant CLANG! that rings out is deafening for a human, and perhaps more-so for those with enhanced senses.

          “where are you, you stupid mutt?”   /   @feykazuki

noise is synonymous with danger. 

ㅡ the horrid scratch of the bat against the gravel, the footsteps that leave destruction in its wake. song zihuan is nothing short of devastating, the epitome of peril with a delicate mask pulled over an instinct-driven animal. that’s all he is.

(kazuki doesn’t fear pain as much as he should. sometimes, he thinks zihuan fears it less.)

the warning is understood a second too late. a hand clasps over his ear as though that would stop the sharp, painful ringing and from his position on the other side of the street, he can make out the smugness on the other’s expression under the dim streetlights. he lets his hand drop. "are we doing nicknames, now?”

a beat passes and his mouth curves into a grin. it’s threatening, sharp teeth bared but he knows zihuan, if anyone, likes it. “you’re acting like you didn’t get off on it, how cute of you.” his tongue swipes over his bottom lip, head tilted. (there’s something in him that burns with anticipation. it’ll be the death of him.) “you brought a weapon ㅡ that’s not very fair of you.”

[mintokkies]

[feykazuki]

hi, hello, i'm ria and i raise you kazuki, aka samgaksan’s residential grump. i’m incredibly excited to get to know you all (although i ask for ur forgiveness in advance for my turtle speed) and i also have a discord and twitter if it’s easier .. so without further ado pls like and subscribe for more saito kazuki content !!

basics: 24 year old beta who’s been part of the samgaksan pack for seven years now despite his overbearing tendency to think with his fists instead of his brain (on another note it’s the longest he’s ever stayed in one place 🎉🎉)

was actually part of a small pack with his parents back in osaka where he grew up with the classic “the weak are meat and the strong do eat” mentality burned into him as a way of making him stronger

kind of backfired in the way that a) congrats you made him stronger but b) helped build up a toxic mindset that bottle-necked to his current state of excessive pride, arrogance and self destruction 

turning point was when he was 10 and his entire pack was slaughtered by hunters (read: it’s an event he still has nightmares about) which led him to subsequently flee japan and head to korea instead, moving from shelter to shelter and on the streets

left a legacy by picking a lot of fights with a variety of people (and species) for no other reason than to feed his own aggression and prove he could beat them which often led to numerous injuries but (kazuki vc) it is what it is 

eventually he went up north aged 17 where he ran into members of samgaksan and after trying to kick their ass and getting his own ass handed back to him (embarrassing), they surprisingly invited him into their pack after seeing his strength and potential 

now he’s just kind of .. wandering, although he won’t ever admit he’s a lost soul and cause, he’s not quite sure what to do with himself besides remaining bitter at the world and indulge in destructive behaviour that he thinks is normal but most definitely isn’t

members of samgaksan once said he kinda looks like this  凸(￣ヘ￣) 

[antigonick]

ANTIGONE : For I am a strange new kind of inbetween aren’t I, not at home with the dead nor with the living

Anne Carson, Antigonick (via antigonick)

[leejenos-archive]

pretty ♡