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2020 mantra

Life is so unfair; such a cliché but that's what life really is. We might know someone who does nothing but bad things but constantly receiving love, freedom and power -- mostly good things; while someone who works hard enough, tells the truth and loves too much were the ones who receives bad things. Why is that?

I've been struggling with anger for years; I've hated this 'someone' for so long that I can't even remember when it started. This person made A LOT of remarkable bad things to me, not just to me but to all members of my family. All of those were truly remarkable things because until now I am living with discomfort with this person. Those were chips from the past I can't JUST FORGET. I know in my heart that I have already forgiven this person, but FORGETTING is a different thing. I am now treating this person with compassion and love, but everytime I feel like I'm getting over it, this person will do something stupid and dumb AGAIN AND AGAIN. I wanted to seek revenge but I don't know how I can get even, so I let God take over the situation.

Cute thing about God, He is always updated to the current state of my heart even though sometimes I fail to mention my feelings to Him. Whenever I feel angry and unforgiving, I feel like my devotions or the pastor's message on a Sunday morning, or fb posts pertains to me. Just like what I have read a while ago, :

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We might have been betrayed, abused, nor taken advantage by other people, or we may have gone through things that nobody deserves to experience in life, but we cannot just let those things rule over us. May all of us who suffer from brokenness and hatred be healed, through God's grace and power. May we all learn how to forgive just like how God has forgiven us, and sooner may we all be free from all our grudges.💛

💛,

P

Minsan, you break your own rules.. And I think it's worth it.

Maja Salvador

3 years, and counting.

The day I lost my courage in love was the day I stopped looking for it. I started to think that love is not for people like me. That maybe God has intended me to be single forever now because I am not capable of love not yet ready for a romantic relationship. (Or responsible, atleast.). I became less interested in dating.

Before, talking to the opposite sex (who is also single) excites me; meeting random people makes me think, "Uy pwede 'to ah"..or "uy we have the same interests, match kami". But later on, nagsawa na rin ako. Nakakapagod na rin kasi. Getting to know someone tapos mawawala rin naman pala. Though at times, I wanted to have someone I miss having someone who offers you their shoulders as you cry through the frailties in life; or even in simple things like when someone asks you how was your day, or what are your plans for tomorrow or the other day.

But hey, being single could be fun also. I miss the freedom of being single when I was in a relationship before ---- the happiness of fulfilling your dreams without thinking of your other half. Because when you are in a relationship, you do not have the chance to think for your own(that's what I experienced.). Kapag may gusto akong gawin para sa sarili ko before, my other half thinks I am being selfish. That I am not including him in my plans, which leads to not talking, or worse, break up. Well, I don't regret anything; there is nothing wrong with pursuing your dreams or thinking anything good for yourself. Maybe the wrong thing was - I insist to fulfill it with the person who is not on the same road as to what I am taking. (Okaaay, enough of this nonsense. Lol)

What i am saying is, do not be afraid to be single. Just because everyone has their own families now, it doesn't mean na late ka na. Or hindi ka ka-mahal mahal. God has His own timeline for you. 😘

3 years single. And counting. ✨

LACASA DE PAPEL: 10/10!!!!

I’m still obsessed with this series!!

Kahit one week na natapos ko panoorin, di parin ako makamoveon sa sobrang ganda! Gusto ko sya panoorin ulit kaso marami pa akong nakapilang kailangan panoorin. Grabe talaga. Grabe grabe. Sobrang sulit buti napanood ko bago pa magexpire subscription ko lelz bella ciao♡

EMPTIED TO BE RESTORED 💓

September was probably the WORST MONTH I’ve ever had this year. I thought it would be my ‘relaxing month of the year’ because it's my birthmonth, (I planned trips and vacation/s, movie dates, watching live bands, and etc - mostly spending time with my family). But it turns out to be the most depressing, tiring and devastating month of the year. Noice.

At first, I though it would be just ONE problem - But not long after that, more problems came in - family problems, health, deadlines at work, and other personal endeavors. It caused me to stay late at night, or to not sleep at all.

I know God is working on something, but I still don’t have any idea what it is. It also happened last year- 2017, same problems, tapos sabay-sabay din. Nakakatorete. I tried to find my peace through watching my favorite indie bands, eating my favorite foods (kaya tumaba e), and sleeping more than 10hours a day on my rest days. But still, I still feel depressed. And without peace.

So then, I decided to do a three-day fasting before September end. And God spoke to me through the book of JEREMIAH, chapter 31. It was about the RESTORATION after a huge DESTRUCTION. OOO MMM GGG! After that devotion, I FELT SO RELIEVED. I was in awe of how God works in my life! How could you even explain that? Na saktong kung ano yung kailangan ko, ayun yung na-devotion ko?!?!?! It was the BEST THING I've learned on my fasting journey to which God revealed on my last day of fasting, Sept. 30, 2018.

Only then did I experience the REST and PEACE I long wanted to have -- that only GOD can provide. I know God emptied me to restore me again! Parang laptop na nirereformat para matanggal yung mga virus na nakakasira sakanya. Truly God is faithful to be found by those people who seek Him.♥

10 PROMISES OF GOD AFTER DESTRUCTION (Jeremiah 31)

1. You will find grace in the midst of wilderness (v. 2)

2. I will rebuild you. You will again be happy and dance merrily. (v. 4)

3. Tears of joy will soon stream down your face (v. 9)

4. I will lead you home (of happiness) with great care (v. 9)

5. You will walk beside quiet streams and on a smooth path where you will not stumble. (v. 9)

6. I will watch over you as a shepherd keeps his flock (v. 10)

7. You will be radiant because of the LORD’s good gifts (v. 12)

8. Your life will be like a watered garden and all your sorrows will be gone (v. 12)

9. I will turn your mourning into joy (v. 13)

10. I will fill your soul with abundance and you will be satisfied on my goodness. (v. 14)

#emptiness #restoration #findinginnerpeace #jeremiah31

And if that is what happens, if I have already lost him, I will at least have gained one very happy day in my life. Considering the way the world is, one happy day is almost a miracle.

#page 113

However tempted she was to continue, however prepared she was for the challenges she had met on her path, all these months living alone with herself taught her that 'there is always a right moment to stop something'.

#page91

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