Fight The Hoard

"Fight The Hoard" celebrates the entertainment value of my treasures as they parade out of my life.

[fightthehoard]

Poster of a lazy monkey with caption: "Hard work never hurt anyone, But I'm not taking any chances."

High school vintage, or perhaps early college, this testament to rationalizing self-defeating procrastinatory behavior just doesn't seem as funny as it once did. This is the embodiment of my Instant Gratification Monkey and encouraging it is counter-productive.

If I want a visual trigger of nourishing relaxation in a field, I've got a much better artwork of Kiki for that purpose. (It’s a fan art of the following scene in the film, which isn’t going up on Fight The Hoard because I’m still enjoying it.)

[fightthehoard]

This metallic reflective unicorn was a little hard to let go. The popularity of this style had such a brief window, circa 1980, with the glossy lacquered wood frame and multi-angle contrasting silver tones. It was the sort of thing you might win at a carnival skill game, or buy from a mall kiosk. It fit perfectly with the other soft-glow unicorns of my decor at the time, but I’m forced to recognize it’s unlikely to ever fit in again.

[fightthehoard]

Poster of a tranquil forest scene.

My wife was captivated by this poster at a store and helplessly compelled to buy it. She couldn't pin down what was so special about it, she just knew it belonged in her life. The mystery was revealed a few years later while visiting the parents of a childhood friend. There in the living room was the exact same poster, in the same place it had always hung through the countless youthful hours she had spent there. She had never taken specific notice of it; it had subconsciously made deep bindings simply by being present during key growth periods.

[fightthehoard]

Conversely, I never had much attachment to this drawing. It reminded my wife of a cat she grew up with, but I was hard pressed to see more than a passing resemblance. Patiently I waited for her to outgrow it, as she has done for me far too many times.

[fightthehoard]

Artwork, Girlfriend at the Beach. I have no idea what the actual title is, if it has one. It looks remarkably like my wife did when she was still just my girlfriend. She doesn't think so, but her best friend -- who bought her this painting from a regional festival -- agrees with me. She wore an outfit just like this and loves visiting the beach. For years she's tolerated my having it on the wall, waiting for the day I get tired of it. She doesn't have that outfit anymore, her hairstyle is different, and the painting has at last lost its fascination. Now I'll have this post to remind me when I feel like reminiscing instead.

[fightthehoard]

Ape face wall hanging. Somehow word got around that I enjoy hanging masks on my walls. Add in a fondness for simians, and this gift was joyfully received and proudly displayed for years. It's not even a proper mask, really, it's solid padded with no way to wear it.

[fightthehoard]

College poster promoting an a cappella concert at Yale, February 22, 1992.

The Alley Cats in those years were all about projecting an image of class. Their garb was crisp, their sound was smooth, and they shied away from gags and the wacky comedy indulged by some of their peer groups (Bugs Bunny pre-shows notwithstanding). This poster was printed on heavy cardstock and stood out for its unusual square shape and diamond orientation, not to mention the striking graphics.

[fightthehoard]

College poster promoting an a cappella concert by The Duke’s Men (@dadoox) at Yale, April 11, 1992.

Some of my peers seemed to enjoy mocking any group that wasn't their own. I just liked going to all the concerts, enjoying the different styles, even so-called "rival" groups. The early warning signs of hoarding include collecting posters for events I didn’t even perform in.

[fightthehoard]

College poster promoting an a cappella concert at Yale, April 13, 1991.

Redhot & Blue's lush jazz concerts were top-notch and blew me away every time. During those years, the mixed-gender group had a reputation for prioritizing talent over getting along, unlike some other groups that had those priorities inverted resulting in reputations as a drinking club that also sang. Mostly they did seem to get along fine. I heard a few rumors of infighting but then again the whole singing group scene seemed thick with bickering sometimes. While I did learn a great deal about jazz singing in my own group, I don't think I have even yet reached a high enough caliber to have made it into that group.

[fightthehoard]

Promotional poster for indie film Kwoon (2004). (The advertised website is now defunct, but you can still get the DVD.)

"It's like PORNO but with KUNG FU instead of SEX". Very hard to resist a pitch like that, or their other catchphrase "It's nipple bloody fun". The colorful whirls hypnotically induce you to watch despite your better judgment. This poster was handed to me personally by the film's creators at their FanimeCon booth. I'm a sucker for that personal touch. Plus, I had actually already seen and enjoyed the film before meeting them, so it was a touchstone moment rather than most promotional encounters where a half-guilty promise is made to see it later and then you don't. The poster is now in the hands of another super-fan so I feel good about giving it the proper home it deserves.

[fightthehoard]

Promotional poster for a reading of Coraline at Cody's Books in Berkeley, California.

I was privileged to be present for this event, to listen enraptured to Neil Gaiman reading aloud the entirety of his book Coraline when it was fresh off the press. That was my first introduction to his works and to the man himself. It made quite an impression. The commercial audio book was made around the same time and offers very much the same experience, with the extra studio polish making up for the lack of personal presence. So don’t feel sad if you missed it, go listen!

[fightthehoard]

Spike from Cowboy Bebop, fan art in charcoal. This is a unique original work, there were no reproductions made that we're aware of.

We had just finished watching the series and were still somewhat overcome with powerful emotions for the characters when we spotted this at FanimeCon. Couldn't stop staring. Though it's not exact, it somehow manages to capture Spike perfectly for us. We were actually a little sad when we realized we didn't want to re-hang it after painting the walls, that our attachment to Spike and to the series had faded over the decade.

There was a companion piece of Faye for sale too, but somehow it didn't capture her enough, it was a little too off for us. Maybe they'll find each other on the Internet.

[fightthehoard]

Disney's Haunted Mansion Holiday scroll in deluxe frame

Every winter, The Haunted Mansion at Disneyland gets a seasonal make-over to re-theme it as The Nightmare Before Christmas. The first year they did this, our friend gave us this gift-shop edition of the ride narration, a poem written specifically for this event and printed on a thick, parchment-like, plasticy scroll. I have no idea what it's actually made of. It feels a bit too thick to be rice paper.

The fancy frame was somewhat accidental. We took it to a custom framer and selected a modestly priced frame, and they made a mistake and put this gorgeous one on it. Didn't charge us extra.

[fightthehoard]

"You're rushing me! I'm getting overwhelmed!"

Here’s a LINK I’ve been hoarding -- er, saving up for “Fight The Hoard”, since June of last year. Is nothing safe from the clutches of a hoarding fist?

http://www.marriedtothesea.com/index.php?date=062615

[fightthehoard]

Ghirardelli mason jar with clasp (7 inches). The fancy chocolate maker from San Francisco makes fancy gift bundles to match. Ehhh ... not so fancy, in my opinion. Many people adore it but it always tasted kind of chalky and powdery to me. In a way, that makes it the same as Hershey with opposite polarity, which I love but many don’t.

[fightthehoard]

Sanbitter bottle (5 inches) Malt glass (9 inches)

I think we were going to use these as flower vases. One tall, one mini. But we never have flowers. By choice.

[fightthehoard]

Decorative jar with cork (10 inches). Originally filled with nuts as a holiday gift. The only nuts left are the ones keeping this bottle on a shelf for years.