Giana

18 blog for my writing!

[filmbrokiller]

Recently Rewatched: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) Dir. Michael Godrey

When I first watched this film, I bawled in my darkened bedroom for reasons I couldn't understand. I knew the point of the movie but it would take me years to mature and experience enough for it to seep into my bones. Once I had my first boyfriend, who I naively believed I loved despite only knowing him for 2 months and it ended, as most high school relationships do, just as fast as it started it finally clicked. My immediate response was to hate him for breaking my heart so carelessly but as I was able to reflect I could see that the gentle moments eventually eclipsed the aching pain in my gut leaving the football games and movie nights as fond memories and not fuel for my burning resentment.

Pain is unavoidable in anything we live. Life is brutal and its unfair and unrelenting but it is also gentle and kind, incandescent and lovely in so many important ways. That is a fact yet most of us spend so much of our lives searching for an existence only consisting of joy, we fear pain and don't understand why it aches so much to live and why it must be that way. Anxiety always stops us from having desired experiences we feel are too risky or too scary and the wish to be perfectly happy and devoid of suffering overtakes our yearning for positive experience. However, without pain we are stagnant souls, coddled and spoiled with the goodness of life with no ability to appreciate the joyful moments we so long for.

The moments that remain, after the tender bruises fade, are the ones that we push to the backs of our brains. The sacredness of intimacy and the connection we have to another person are the things that shape our souls into a human being with more tenacity than before.

This film means so much to me, it's endlessly beautiful both in its technical aspects and its sentiments. I love love love this forever and because of this, I will try my hardest everyday to treat pain as a gift and a lesson, dive headfirst into the possibilities, and cherish the journey!

[filmbrokiller]

Recently Rewatched: Showgirls (1995) Dir. Paul Verhoeven

Showgirls is one of my favorite movies for the sheer bravery it took to make it. Bravery in every acting choice, every scene, and every piece of dialouge. That courage pays off in every scene and makes you believe in the liberating and dangerous art of filmmaking.

Elizabeth Berkeley is more committed and unwavering than most "good" performances and she absolutely delivers here. It feels ridiculous but you also believe it and it suits the movie so well, she makes this world her own and doesn't feel out of place despite her ambitious choices.

Every dance sequence is insane. Every interaction is too. Theres not a boring moment in this. Its erotic, iconic, fearless, and brilliant. Its absolutely perfect. WATCH IT!

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New Favorites: UHF (1989) Dir. Jay Levey and Pee-Wee's Big Adventure (1985) Dir. Tim Burton

UHF and Pee-Wee's Big Adventure are childhood favorites of my mom's. I had watched Pee-Wee as a kid as well but not in a long time, so revisiting it was inevitable for me. UHF is something I only recently heard of but my mom convinced me to watch it because of how much her and my aunt and uncles loved it growing up.

The past couple nights I got a chance to watch them and they immediately became favorites. The humor is so unique to Weird Al and Pee-Wee Herman and watching these movies bring such a pure joy to its audience because each film exudes the passion and silliness of it's actors.

I can't help but be reminded of my mom and her humor so these movies are super comforting, funny, and refreshing for me. I LOVE LOVE LOVE these movies!!!

Highly reccomend giving them a shot if you haven't, especially if you are already into or at least intrigued by Weird Al or Pee-Wee Herman!

[filmbrokiller]

Recently Watched: Aftersun (2022) Dir. Charlotte Wells

Today (1/10/24), I had a very insightful therapy session and I've been thinking of this ever since. Not only because it was beautiful and I've been meaning to rewatch it but because the way it explores the enigmatic nature of our parents and our childhoods so flawlessly and beautifully.

Throughout, the story is told in reflections, not only literally through tv screens and polished tabled, but in reflections of moments between a father and his child as she looks back to the last time she saw her father. Not a ton is explained which is think is perfect, some things can never be fully explained and we are on the journey with Sophie to understand her father.

Beautiful performances from Paul Mescal and Frankie Corio break your heart in this. It makes you understand how much we don't know about our arents and how much they sacrifice beyond just the surface level.

When I first watched it, I recognized this and bawled by the end of it but today I sit with it a little bit more :)

[filmbrokiller]

Just Watched: The Iron Claw (2023) Dir. Sean Durkin

When I first heard of this film I intrigued by how it might turn out. From the early BTS shots of Zac Efron in his funny 70s wig and tight shorts to the first trailer, I was along for the ride and excited for its release. However, I never expected to be so heartbroken and moved by it.

I'm not big into sports films but this wasn't at its core , really about that. Ofc there were stunningly choreographed matches throughout backtracked with badass songs like Tom Sawyer by Rush but overall, this film was about family, generational trauma, toxic masculinity, and breaking cycles. Pro-wrestling works as an excellent backdrop for this story having been a representation of the Von Erich brothers' unity but ultimately the vessel of most, if not all, of their troubles and tragedies.

While there were stellar performances all around Zac Efron had me floored. He carried the Von Erich legacy with grace here and delivered an honest and raw performance of a man who suffered so much loss. He is at his very best (so far) here and I am rooting for him at the Oscars.

By the end, I was torn apart and put back together again, so moved I couldn't contain my tears and struggled to catch my breath. It was so beautiful it even made my dad cry!

This is easily one of my favorite films of the year and I highly reccomend it to everyone. After seeing this, you'll wanna call up ur family members and tell them you love them, I know I did.

[filmbrokiller]

Recently Watched: The Holdovers (2023) Dir. Alexander Payne

This one is gonna be short but sweet.

Dominic Sessa (loml), Paul Giamatti, and Da'Vine Joy Randolph are incredible in this. Point blank. Paul Giamatti's physicality alone is a masterclass and Dominic Sessa holds his own incredibly well with so much charm that it's hard to believe it's his first film role but Da'Vine Joy-Randolph is truly a rock in this, she holds so much of it together. It has such an emotional core because of these performances, everything feels so real so the audience is now able to easily connect with this great story.

This is an instant Christmas classic and I highly reccomend it to everyone because it is just lovely. If you love Dead Poets Society, you'll love this!

[filmbrokiller]

Recently Watched: Saltburn (2023) Dir. Emerald Fennell

This movie was probably the most polarizing of the year, most either hating it or loving it and while I am VERY sympathetic to the criticism I am apart of the "love it" crowd.

Yes, the most talked about moments were purely for shock value despite still being pretty tame. Yes, the writing was predictable and messy. YES, IT WAS NOT PERFECT! However, what this film has that many other lack is full commitment to the vibe. Every actor is fully in it, and they are delivering performances that keep you entertained and engaged despite a very underwhelming screenplay. Even despite the lackluster class commentary what really stands out is the exposition of human desire and the depravity of desperation and I feel like thats where it finds its footing.

It is shot beautifully and the soundtrack rocks. Barry Keoghan is dedicated to being a little freak, Rosamund Pike is fully a bitch, Jacob Elordi is sexy! WHAT ELSE COULD YOU ASK FOR??!! This was a fun time, it was fierce and it introduced me to Murder on the Dancefloor with one of the most iconic scenes in recent memory. I really think there is merit in a good time!! Similar to my love for Showgirls, I think the fearlessness of the performances and the sheer sexiness and fun of it makes this great!! But hey, this very well may be shit and I simply want Jacob Elordi in a crazy way 🤷‍♀️

[filmbrokiller]

Recently Watched: Pink Flamingos (1972) Dir. John Waters

I cannot, in good conscience, recommend this movie to anyone. It is vile, disturbing, and wrong in every way but despite this, there is a certain aspect of this movie that makes it impossible to look away from. It's charming and funny as it is disgusting and I think it is a brilliant piece of art.

John Waters is a widely revered filmmaker among most but more specifically among the queer community and for good reason. The philosophy of Pink Flamingos is rooted in queerness as it imagines a world where everyone leans into their weirdness. While morally apprehensable in many ways, its punk asf and so freeing.

Watching this film is an act of resistance and people often get together to screen it much like The Rocky Horror Picture Show, another queer cult classic. It aims to make people uncomfortable and sit in that discomfort. It is meant to exist on the margins and be a true celebration of otherness. The goal of Waters in all his works is to explore the ridiculousness of those who put their faith in the establishment exposing American society as rigid, boring, and repressive. Stick it to the man by going all the way, doing absolutely fuck all!

To this day, Pink Flamingos sets the bar for weird cinema, many failing to replicate the true magic of Waters, not to mention, the star quality of Divine.

[filmbrokiller]

i've been thinking about the poem The Two-Headed Calf and how it creates a powerful vignette and never fails to make me cry. its one of my favorite poems so i wanted to attempt something with a similar effect. this may very well be bad lol but i'm still learning how to write effectively. lmk what u think hehe 😉

[filmbrokiller]

Recently Watched: May December (2023) Dir. Todd Haynes

this film is based on a real case where a school teacher had an affair with and ended up marrying her 13 year old student. this vile fact is enough to keep you thinking but what has stuck in my mind that is specific to this film is the unbelievable performances by Oscar winners Julianne Moore and Natalie Portman and Riverdale's Charles Melton.

it's easy to expect incredible performances from Moore and Portman but Melton's work in this movie blew me away. as an aspiring actor, his skill here is something i strive to achieve.

i can't move on from his physicallity, he manages to make himself (a 6'1 32 year old man) look like a teenage boy. in the shots included above, he is next to women who he would usually tower over but he makes himself so small and fragile. you get the sense that he is a man that is stuck in the trauma he experienced at 13. it's really amazing.

not only that, but in scenes where he has to keep up with Moore or Portman, he does so with ease and manages to shine. he has such a subtle approach to the character that when a scene comes up where he finally has to outwardly express his despair it feels earned and honest.

my favorite scene was probably the one on the rooftop with his son. his children look like they could be his siblings and in this scene you really see him struggle with that. he breaksdown and he delivers the most heartbreaking line: "God I can't tell if we're connecting or if i'm creating a bad memory for you in real time but i can't help it." this whole scene is him trying to grapple with not only being only in his thirties sending his youngest children off to college, feeling so old yet being so young but also it's him finally thinking about his trauma without pushing away the ugly parts. he had spent so much time focusing on everyone else and at this point he is left to finally confront his victimhood and the life that was forced upon him. it's definitely my favorite scene of 2023.

overall, this film was incredible and i can't hype it up enough. please check out May December on Netflix it is definitely worth your time!

[filmbrokiller]

Recently Watched: Videodrome (1983) Dir. David Cronenberg

horror is a genre i am super interested in lately and i've only, in recent years, been able to look beyond the boring jumpscares, tacky cliches, and laziness of the more recent popular horror movies. only when i began to seek out great horror films like Hereditary, Talk To Me, Barbarian, etc. was i awoken to the possibilities of horror that didn't stick to the formulaic movies that most commonly put butts in seats. i'm glad that door was opened because the genre is so vast and rich, often speaking to my interest in the depraved and gnarly sides of humanity.

so, a few days ago i tried baby's first Cronenberg! he was such a highly revered filmmaker in horror that i felt like it was a good place to start. my interest was piqued as soon as i knew Debbie Harry was in it but besides my knowledge of how badass she is, i went in completely blind. i don't know how i continuously avoided most common knowledge about Cronenberg but i only ever heard his name and the vauge praise that came with it in passing so i was excited to see what the fuss was about!

Videodrome was right up my alley with its body horror, weird plot, and commentary on the way media can alter our minds. i really feel like it was ahead of its time for that reason and i can see why Cronenberg is so well-respected. i definitely intend on looking into his filmography and letting it take me down a rabbit hole of great horror.

check out Videodrome if u can! If you've seen it, lmk what u thought!

btw follow me on letterboxd @/filmbrokiller05 for more 😛

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Here’s my Preacher’s Daughter fan-cast for shits and giggles lol.

Sarah Hagan as Ethel

Karen Grassle as Vera

Susan Sarandon as Ethel (Grandmother)

Cal Robertson as Willoughby

Keke Palmer as Janie

Jacob Pitts as Isaiah

[filmbrokiller]

this album is taking over my life 🤭

[artfilmaesthetics]

Taylor Russell photographed by Luca Guadagnino, 2022 🦴

[filmbrokiller]

PINTEREST SUSPENDED MY AMAZING BEAUTIFUL ACCOUNT SO NOW I HAVE TO REMAKE LIKE ALL MY BOARDS ON MY OLD ACCOUNT AND I WAS GONNA MAKE SOME POSTS ON HERE USING MY BOARDS BUT NOW I CANT PLEASE IM SO DEVASTATED

it said some pins contained nudity AND WATCH IT BE LIKE AN ALBUM COVER OR LIKE ONE PIC WITH A NIPPLE I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE 😭😭😭