Reflections on Truth and the Trail
Speak your soul and you shall be free. Keep it contained and it shall swallow you. In past travels I realized the importance of being truthful about my experience, even if it was negative. The same holds true for other experiences in my life and the emotions I have including the Trail. These past 2 weeks have extremely difficult for me. Initially I started off well coming off of a high from Trail Days. It wasn't just the joy of the festival, large drinking parties tend too bore me actually. Seeing old friends I started the trail with was uplifting. What I enjoyed the most however was establishing a connection with a girl I had known on the trail, touring around the festival and enjoying the festivities. Alas, this ended quicker than I would have liked, but I also felt happy that I had such a good experience with a sweet girl. The trouble began with the fact that she was 30 plus miles ahead of me on trail. We kept in close contact via text, but this was not enough for me. I was committed to catching up with her, commonly referred to on the trail as 'pink blazing'. In one week I hiked 122 miles including a 18, 19, 20, and 26 mile day. It also rained 5 days during that week. My efforts while exhausting were successful. I caught up to her in town and was within half a day of her on trail. The trail however took its toll. While in town and during hiking with her I was too exhausted, too grumpy from fatigue to take much interest in her. She shared with me details of her past pain and current frustration and anger. It was difficult for me to respond as I was trying to digest them in an attempt to help find a resolution for her to move forward. I had a realization that I'm tired of living a solatry life and tired of having meaningful connections only to having that moment slip through my fingers like sand through an hour Glass. I started the trail partly because I was lonely and now here I am with that feeling again. She is off hiking with other friends now and I'm still recovering from what the trail left with me mentally and physically. The chances I see her again are unlikely. The chances she reads this are even less likely. But if I could see her again I would thank her for her company, that I found her to be the sweetest, somehow even when she was frustrated by the trail or her past experiences. I would tell I'm sorry she was burned and betrayed in the past but don't loose hope. She deserves not only the life of a strong independent woman, but one including a dependable, loyal companion. She is stronger than she thinks and is capable of healing herself if she can both accept the potential for her to change and acknowledge the connections between the things that cause her pain and anger. I wish I could share more of this journey with you, but I understand it is yours to travel. I don't like to be alone, but this is uniquely my own walk as well. All I can do at this point is wish you the best.













