An Incorrect Quotes blog for Fire Emblem: 3 Houses

Because there's as much meme material as there is angst

[fireemblem3h-incorrectquotes]

Flayn: People underestimate me!

Ignatz: That must be nice. No one estimates me at all. They just say, "Oh, look at that boy. I have no estimates about him."

[fireemblem3h-incorrectquotes]

Byleth: You only care about money

Leonie: ¥€$

[fireemblem3h-incorrectquotes]

Beres: Why do you never make the bed?

Claude: For the same reason I don't tie my shoes after I take them off: it doesn't make sense!

[fireemblem3h-incorrectquotes]

(Lysithea's phone is ringing)

Claude: (glances over to see who's calling) "You still call your dad daddy? Didn't you say you're not a child?"

Lysithea: (answers the phone and glares directly into Claude's soul) "Hello, Cyril."

Claude: (chokes)

[fireemblem3h-incorrectquotes]

Glenn (to Felix): Physically, I may be only 5'5", but spiritually I am at least six feet tall.

Glenn: Shorty.

[fireemblem3h-incorrectquotes]

Hilda: Caspar! I'm so happy I could kiss you!

Caspar: Uhh... neat!

[Later]

Caspar, laying face down on his bed: I can’t believe I said “neat”, Linhardt. “Neat”. Nobody says neat anymore. It’s goddamn 1185. It’s not neat to say neat, but I said it anyway because I’m a huge loser.

Linhardt: Don't beat yourself up, it's ok everyone gets nervous. Remember what happened when Byleth confessed to me?

Caspar: Didn't you thank him?

Linhardt, looking into the distance: I thanked him.

[fireemblem3h-incorrectquotes]

Marianne: I need more serotonin...

Ferdinand: *stands up*

Ferdinand: *sits back down*

Ferdinand: I forgot what serotonin was for a moment and I was about to go get you some.

[fireemblem3h-incorrectquotes]

Dorothea: Sylvain's been gone for awhile, do you think somethings happened to him?

Felix: No, but I do think he happened to someone.

[fireemblem3h-incorrectquotes]

Sylvain, admiring Dorothea from afar: She could end my life anyday and I'd thank her.

Felix, sick of hearing this: We'd thank her to.

[fireemblem3h-incorrectquotes]

Claude: Teach! In five years I guarantee I'll be your second husband!

Beres: What happened to my first?

Claude: Nothing anyone can prove.

[fireemblem3h-incorrectquotes]

Felix: The short answer is no. The long answer is Fuck No.

[fireemblem3h-incorrectquotes]

Flayn: Brother? Professor? If humans can see water but can't see air...

Seteth: Yes?

Flayn: Does that mean fish can see air but can't see water?

Seteth: ...

Byleth: ...

Flayn: ...

Byleth: fuck

[fireemblem3h-incorrectquotes]

Hilda: There was a bunny in the market today, eating all the flowers

Raphael: haha u go lil bun, fight the power!

Marianne: Live the dream, small friend...

Felix: A criminal.

[fireemblem3h-incorrectquotes]

Solon: So what's our evil plan for today?

Thales: We're going to go to a Starbucks and start deciding what we want when we get to the fucking cashier!

Kronya: Afterwards, I'll send mine back for almond milk!

Thales: Don't be an ass.

[fireemblem3h-incorrectquotes]

Claude: She's so immature sometimes.

Claude: Remember how excited she got when she figured out she could drink two milkshakes at once with a straw?

Lysithea, running in holding three glasses of milkshakes: Professor you're not gonna believe this!

[fireemblem3h-incorrectquotes]

Dimitri: *Comes up behind Edelgard and fires a gun at the ceiling*

Edelgard: *falls over in shock*

Edelgard: THIS IS WHY MOM DIDN'T FUCKING LOVE YOU

[fireemblem3h-incorrectquotes]

Lorenz: This christmas season instead of gifts I'm giving everyone my opinion.

Lorenz: Get excited :)