Fuck it. Stay Happy.

Starting Weight: 298 Lbs Goal Weight: 180 Lbs (BUT ULTIMATELY HEALTHY) Height: 5"7. you dig?

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i remember when I was in 2nd or 3rd grade this little bish came up to me and said 'ugh. you need to put on a bra your boobs are sagging'. like...i didn't even have much boob for them to sag...but just because she was all flat chested she had to make little fabulous me feel bad for having a little bit of boobies. lol that just came to me. all my life i had to fight.

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Just....something.

I've been doing so poorly lately. Instead of eating right, I'm really not eating at all. I sleep through meals (yes...the sleepiness is real). I also have been waiting to buy a pair of proper shoes to workout in cause I am really prone to rolling my damn ankles for some reason. lol, all of these are excuses. I have noticed that my curves are becoming more pronounced (is that good or bad?) and I'm not losing weight. However, I have also noticed that I'm starting to love my body the way it is more. I just need to get off my ass and do something. I am a pear shape...i guess. (I know that some of you guys are cringing at my use of fruit to compare my body). I am small (although my boobs are huge...which is another post in itself) at the top and then my hips are wider. I used to think I had a hourglass shape but then I noticed that my chest and hips aren't the same width. I don't have my exact measurements. I have noticed that my curves are becoming more pronounced (is that good or bad?) and I'm not losing weight. I wonder what that is. I don't have much honestly, it may seem like a lot to a skinny person but my stomach is really my downfall. I have flabby arms also. My thighs aren't that big, yes they could slim down but I like my thighs. I also have back rolls. ugh. I think once I take a before picture it'll seem official. Like I have to put up or shut up. So on Monday I shall take that picture. Bad Hair and All. (I can't wait to get my haircut)

[bodyliciousvirgin]

reblog if you have a crush on Milk.

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good lord yes.

[neversaydiet-deactivated2016102]

I've tried to lose weight so many times in the past. If I hadn't given up, I'd already be at my goal weight by now. That's what I need to keep reminding myself every time I feel like I want to give up. Because if I do give up, five months from now, I'll be saying the same exact thing. I'm not going to let that happen. I'm going to get to my goal weight, no matter what. I can do this. We can all do this.

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one damn day.

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I can't be the only one...

I think that Huck and Quinn kissing is disgusting. Like I'm like 'Noooooo. ugggh. my eyessss. please no ugh stop.'. lol. Jake is so sexy. Daddy Pope (aka Byron) is growing on me but now he's dying. Fitz is fitz. I feel for Mellie. I really do. Harrison. They don't need to kill harrison. Olivia makes the same, deer in the the headlights/i'm trying to make my eyes water but i'm trying not to cry at the same damn time, expression when any man talks to her. Huck is borderline abusive with Quinn. Charlie is creepy. Momma Pope has nice legs, hair and skin. She's super scary though. Okay...I think I'm done.

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momma, it itches!

Shit I've learned.

I've tried to workout several times before this, last year it was this same month and I actually got through the month before abandoning my workout and health. Everytime I start working out after a long period of inactivity, I itch so badddd. I feel like mosquitoes are sucking the life out of me. I'm not sure that this happens to everyone but it happens to me every time. It seems that this is because the blood vessels have been inactive...you know what let me just let webmd tell you.

"Itchy skin usually occurs during exercise performed after a long period of inactivity. The itching is not on the skin, it's inside the actual limbs. There are millions of tiny capillaries and arteries inside our muscles which expand rapidly due to the demand for more blood that is brought on by exercise. When fit, these capillaries remain open allowing maximum blood passage, but when unfit and inactive they tend to collapse, allowing only minimal blood passage (which is sufficient for a sedentary person however). The rapid expansion of these vessels causes adjacent nerves to send impulses back to the brain which are interpreted as an itch. That's why after a few sessions the sensation tends to go away. Just another indication of increasing fitness levels."

I'm not sure how true this is but they seem to think after a few days of consistent workouts it should go away. I hope so because the itch is REAL. Workout I did today: Cardio: Cardio Groove/Hip Hop Abs (40 ish minutes)

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my fitness goals. (april 6th, 2014)

lose 1 pound a week. eliminate soda, excess sweets and white bread from food intake. drink recommended amounts of water (and more) exercise everyday (except Wednesdays and Sundays) for an hour a day (mornings and afternoon). monday= cardio, tuesday= stomach, thursday=legs, buns, thighs, friday= cardio, saturday=yoga/stretching.

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for real though. michael fassbender can get it.