“Tomorrow, I will dance again.”
Raiden is a constant, recurring thought that crept into her mind time and time again. Every once in awhile, when she takes the cab to work, sometimes she swears she can see him walking across the street at a stop light. Her world would stop, until she gets a really good look at him, and realizes that it’s just another stranger again.
Today was no different, except that today was fathers day, and that she let herself believe for one moment that the man that was on the sidewalk today was him, and that he was returning back into her life. Touko feels the heavy weight of disappointment when she clutches her bag, her frown flips into a smile when she steps into the dance studio. With the clap of her hands, practice was in session. Dancing was her comfort, her escape.
And dancing was also the reason why she didn’t have a father anymore.
Her body twirls in front of the two way mirror, and her students follow suit. But she’s too distracted by her own reflection, the dejection cracking through her work mask, to even critique her dancers movements. She twirls again, adding different moves along the way, as if that would shake off the pain.
After only an hour of instruction, Touko decides to end the class early. She turns to flash a smile at all of the dancers, and conclude the session. They did great today, it was her that couldn’t keep up.
She closes up the studio when everyone is gone, and drags out a punching bag right in the middle of the studio. Her hands slip naturally into boxing gloves, the feeling was like picking up where you left off with an old friend, even if it had been so long since you’ve seen them. The first swing to the punching bag brought her mind back home, back to when her father still loved her, and dancing hadn’t even been thought of.
Sometimes, she thought about what would’ve happened if she never let her child-like curiosity get the best of her way back when. If she’d just let Bianca go to her dance class without her. Touko knew that she wouldn’t have had it any other way, but it never stopped her from thinking about a world where her father was still in her life. Raiden could have met Tepig, he could have seen her off on her adventure-- he would’ve truly been happy when she became champion all those years ago.
Touko landed a hard kick to the bag, angry at herself. It was her fault that becoming champion wasn’t good enough to make Raiden forget about going to dance practice behind his back all those years. And on top of that, when she did get the chance to have her father back in her life for good, she threw that opportunity away so that she could go search for N-- the first love of her life.
She was never going to get her father back.
She was a terrible daughter, just like Raiden said.
Her memories transcended from her happy childhood, to the moment her father had put his hand on her for the first time.
“Y-You said that fighting was only for self defense! That you should never hit anyone when you’re angry, you’re never supposed to hit someone to assert your power over them!”
Her vulnerable, fourteen year old voice plays in her head, as she loses control of what she’s doing.
“Did you honestly believe that rule applied to ME?! I’M the parent. I can punish you how I like. You’ve disgraced and betrayed me and now you want to talk back to me like you know everything?! Is that another disrespectful trait you picked up from your little musicals? Wait until you see what I’m going to do to you!”
She socks the punching bag with her fist again, and her knees came crashing to the ground as she screamed with hurt and defeat. Touko succumbs to her heart break, letting the tears fall to her thighs. She didn’t have it in her to fight anymore...
...but the show must go on, no matter how much it hurt.
Touko still had to go to her other job at Pokestar Studios today. And with the last of her strength, she stood up, wiped her tears, and pulled herself together to call a cab.
Before she had clocked in, her friend and co-worker Nancy had noticed something was off. Nancy had pointed out how her eyes looked puffy, and asked her if she was okay. Touko mustered up energy to give her a faint smile.
“No, I’m not okay. I don’t feel okay.” She said honestly, looking directly at Nancy. “But, that’s alright, because...”
Her voice took on a more lifted tone as she patted down her face with foundation, giving herself a more hopeful look in the vanity mirror.
“Tomorrow, I will dance again.”
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