it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay It’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay It’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay It’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay It’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay It’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay It’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay It’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay It’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay It’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay It’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay It’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay It’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay it’s okay to be gay literally iTS OKAY TO BE GAY. IT’S OKAY.
ALAS, the last chapter I wrote. I’m trying to write the next as quickly as possible, but I want this to be good. Really good. Even if no one is reading.
Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Verwirrt pt 1 // Verrwirt pt 2
It had been a few days since I found out what had actually happened at the concert, and since Ella notified me of her little predicament; thereafter, I think I was beginning to get an assortment of flashbacks from the stadium. Nothing that made too much sense, just bits and pieces from here and there. I didn't tell anyone though. Also, the doctors say Calum has gotten worse, contrary to me getting a bit better. The hospital actually said I could leave today. While I WAS thankful for being able to get out of that awful place, it didn't feel right having to leave Calum here(even with his girlfriend being there, and her vow to call us if anything at all happened).
I stood by the window in my depressing room, leaning on the wall for support. A certain part of me was a bit concerned with what Ashton had told me a few days ago about all the people who'd been rushed in because of similar events that brought me here. I don't know why I continued worrying about it, though. It was stupid.
"You ready?" I heard a solemn voice ask. I turned to see Catherine standing by the hospital bed; I wonder how long she'd been watching me. I also wonder where she's been for the past few days. I hadn't seen her since before I was informed of how I got out alright, and I had a few questions for her.
"Yeah... Where have you been?"
"Nowhere," She paused, carefully studying my face. "I've been with Ashton and around here and there." Her answer was more or less surprising to me.
"How are you able to remain so level headed right now? Aren't you the least bit upset, or worried?"
"I've not mad. What happened happened. Worried, yeah. Scared? Fuck yeah, but I know that Cal is going to pull through. He's Calum. Not going to let a little explosion stop him."
I nodded, accepting her response. I guess there wasn't really anything to argue about. She turned to leave when I quickly stepped in front of her. Raising her eyebrows, she attempted to make her way around me.
"How'd you get me out?" Her face reddened a little.
"Not easily."
"Not acceptable. What aren't you telling me? You're one of my best fucking friends. Plus Ashtons girlfriend. There's nothing you can't tell me, you idiot."
"You tell me when you remember, and I'll tell you what I remember." And with that, she pushed around me. Honestly, I didn't even truly know what that meant, but like I said before, I guess there's nothing to argue about. But there are a lot of things to wonder. Like why she'd been acting so strangely towards me lately.
---
I was the last to step into the tour bus when we all officially decided we'd better get going. I wonder how the fuck they managed to get this thing here in one piece. Ash was asleep in his bunk, and from the looks of it so was Catherine, while Michael played some video games. "Where's John?" I asked, striding up to Michael.
"He's going to be driving." He whispered, I assumed to keep from waking up both Cat and Ashton.
"Do you have any fucking clue where we're going?" I questioned.
"No, but I guess back to Huntington. Dude we're in butt fucked Egypt. I overheard John talking with someone on the phone, and he said we were about 7 fucking hours away from home. This place was the nearest trauma hospital." I nodded, suddenly feeling a bit paranoid. Not to mention annoyed. Like I wanted to be stuck on a tour bus for 7 hours.
"Has Catherine been acting strangely to you? How long has she been here?"
"No... Why?" I took note that he avoided part two of my question.
"Just wondering. I can't help but feel as if she's resenting me at the moment. Somethings not right."
Michael scoffed, and unpaused his video game.
"Probably just a little shaken up. Aren't we all? Especially with Calum and whatnot"
I suppose that was what was most likely true. Cat was like that sometimes. Not always, but there was the occasional period where she'd keep to herself. A little while later, John told Michael and me he got some things worked out, and we'd be on the road in about 15 minutes. The fight to keep my eyes open was becoming too big of a struggle. For some reason every time we would hit the road in the bus, I'd get extremely tired. Maybe I could rest for just a little while...
Let's take a minute and discuss how horrible sleep can be after something so traumatic has happened. All I could see was darkness, and all I tasted was blood. I felt the weight of what felt like a thousand pounds pushing my body into the ground. I fought to keep my eyes open, but they just wouldn't. I fluttered them open again a little later, with much effort. It could've been just seconds ago I was laying face down and choking, or it could've been days. Not that it matters, seeing as I was now face up, but still feeling a searing pain soak into my whole being. The next part was a bit unclear, but I think I saw smoke everywhere. I heard sirens, and loud screaming, noises fading in and out. I felt as if my soul was detaching itself from my physical state when I saw a blood stained, barely visible shadow above me. I felt warmness surrounding myself, and I heard a hushed tone whispering to me. Just as quickly as it all happened, it went away. I think it took me a few seconds for me to realize I'd just woken up from a nightmare which gave me a gut wrenching feeling. I sat straight up, burying my face into my hands. My breathing became ragged as I was getting over the initial shock of how vivid the dream was. It was like being in one of those dreams where you get kidnapped, but when you open your mouth to scream nothing comes out, unable to control anything around you. There's nothing worse than being unable to escape an alternate reality where you can barely control anything, and half the time everything that happens is a jumble of nonsense no one can make peace with.
I pulled off my sweat-stained shirt, flopping back down. Now that I think about it, that could've just been another flashback. Even worse than a nightmare. Mostly because I think it actually happened to me.
The curtain hanging in front of my bunk, hiding me away from the rest of bus flew open, and I saw Catherine standing beside me.
"Are you okay?" She asked.
"Yeah, just a dream."
"I know. We heard a few noises coming from in here, and I said I'd come check on you."
"Catherine?"
"What?"
I watched her face change from concerned to curious.
"How'd you do it?"
"Do what?" She was playing dumb.
"You carried me... Out of the stadium. How'd you do it?"
"I don't know. Adrenaline? I had to do something. You were going to fucking die. It was like you were oblivious as to what was going on around you."
We were both silent for a few minutes, just looking at each other; both of us probably thinking of a million different things we could say.
"I just don't know what was going on in that head of yours," She finally quietly wondered.
"I don't know," I bit my lip, looking down at my bare chest. What was going on in my head? Why didn't I do anything? "What's on your mind?" I continued. Catherine obviously took advantage of my question, and used it to get out of a serious conversation, but I wasn't letting her go that easily.
"Food. Wondering how you managed to sleep as long as you did." She laughed, letting the natural carefree look return to her eyes. I sat up, adjusting myself at a comfortable slouch.
"Why don't you tell me what's really on your mind?"
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